After a light breakfast from the hotel breakfast bar, they headed to their new home. The house was in a quiet, older, residential area in Milton. It was too far to walk to Jessi’s, and they didn’t have a bussing system in Milton. He would have to apply for his license. He was sure they would make him use the ignition interlock device, but if it meant he would be able to drive, it would be worth it. It would also make it possible for him to work outside of Milton. He was getting the idea that if he wanted a job, he would have to look outside of the small town in which he was now living. There wasn’t much to be had in a town this size.
Julia followed Mark’s directions and went into Milton following Highway Twenty-six. After a series of turns they pulled into the driveway of a two-story white house with a lovely front porch. It even had a porch swing. Someone had lovingly tended the front yard, for there were still flowers and other plants growing along the walk and the front of the house. The paint on the house was peeling a bit, so that would take some work if she were to buy the place. They walked up the front steps and used the key that the rental agency had sent her. The front door was a full beveled glass pane surrounded by natural wood. So far so good.
They entered the house and were surprised by its loveliness. It would need a few updates, but overall the place was in good condition. The original woodwork was still intact, and under the carpet were hardwood floors. With a little elbow grease they would be beautiful. The living room ran the entire length of the front of the house. Behind it were the dining room and the kitchen. The kitchen was a bit smaller than she was used to, but with a few minor changes she wouldn’t notice the difference. There was a room in the back of the house that would be perfect for an office and a half bath. Upstairs there were three bedrooms and a full bathroom. After touring the upstairs, she and Mark headed to the basement. She didn’t have a basement in Oklahoma; most people didn’t. This was new to her. Her laundry hookups were downstairs, along with a storage area and a craft or hobby room. The house had a one-car detached garage, and the backyard was fenced in. It had lots of charm and warmth. She attributed that to the natural wood. Quaint, that’s what it was. Her previous home had been a ranch. She fell in love with the uniqueness of this home. If her new rental was given a good report card by a professional inspector, she might just go ahead and buy the place. By the time that happened, she’d know more about the neighborhood and the town.
Mark recognized the look on his sister’s face. She was already planning. He could tell by the way she was looking around and muttering to herself. “Well, what do you think?”
“It definitely has potential. Well, I guess it’s time to get to work if we’re going to get it done. At least we don’t have any big stuff except the beds. We’ll have to be on the lookout for a used furniture shop. I bet Jessi knows right where to shop.”
They headed outside and spent the next two hours unloading boxes. Both were winded and coated in perspiration by the time they finished. They were also extremely thirsty. Mark grabbed a couple of Cokes from the cooler they brought and handed one to Julia. “That was the easy part. Later, we have to put it all away if we’re going to be able to survive here.”
Julia looked around at all the boxes. Most were marked as to where they were going, and some had even ended up in the right room, but most were just scattered around the living room, barely leaving a pathway to get through. “We’ll start with the obvious stuff first: bathroom and then kitchen. The rest will happen. You ready to head back into town? I saw a couple of car dealerships when we were driving around. I’m thinking a broken-in SUV. What do you think?”
“I think that is a good idea. This is snow country, and it couldn’t hurt. I would also suggest looking at a General Motors product. This is a GM town, you know.”
“Good idea. Wouldn’t want to offend the locals right off the bat. Let’s get going.”
***
After test-driving several vehicles, Julia made her decision. She chose a 2005 Chevy Equinox. It was just broken in enough for her with fourteen thousand miles. As part of the sale, she talked the salesman into following her to the U-Haul rental shop so she could return the truck. After dropping the salesman off at the dealership, they got their first true taste of the SUV. “I like it. I’m going to be spoiled, though. This is nice.”
“You deserve it, sis. This will be nice to drive in the winter. It should help to keep you safe on winter roads. I’m happy for you.”
“Me too. Now let’s get some lunch; it’s almost suppertime, I suppose. You must be starved.”
“I am getting hungry. It’s nearly four o’clock. I’d say it’s a little late for lunch.”
After eating, they headed to the grocery store and got enough groceries for a couple of days. Later they could get more. When they got back, Mark dug out the phone and called Olivia. She answered on the first ring.
“Are you moved in yet?” She didn’t even wait to make sure it was him. She had already answered the phone that way three times, and each time the caller had no idea what she was talking about. This time she was right on.
“Yes, we are all moved in. Nothing is put away yet, though. We just got back from Janesville where your aunt bought a new car. Exciting, huh?”
“Brand new? I’ve never rode in a brand-new car before.”
“No, it’s not brand new, but it’s almost brand new. She is only a year old.”
“Why did you call the car a she?”
Mark didn’t realize he’d used the common endearment for cars while talking to Olivia, but it only made sense that she would call him on it. “A lot of people think of their cars as she’s. I’m not really sure why or when it started happening that way, but I guess it’s just a habit.”
“Oh, do you like your new house. I wish you were living here with me and Mommy. I’m going to have to pray harder.”
Mark didn’t want to give her false hope, but he also didn’t want her giving up. He needed her on his side praying alongside him. She gave him the strength to believe this was all part of God’s plan. Time would eventually tell, but he had to stay strong in his faith and trust God no matter how long it took, or even if it wasn’t in his plans at all. “We both will pray harder. How does that sound?”
“That sounds good. Can I come over tomorrow?” Leave it to Olivia to jump from one subject to another with virtually no warning.
“Well, I don’t know. Your mom and I haven’t talked about that yet. I think it would be best if you give us a day or two to get unpacked and settled. Then I’ll come over and talk with your mom about our visits, okay?”
“Do I have to wait? I haven’t seen you in so long, now I have to wait.”
Once again, Mark felt the pull of his only daughter on his heartstrings. He was going to have to get a handle on this if he had any hope of not spoiling her to death.
“Tell you what. Maybe tomorrow I will come out to visit you again. I could bring some sandwiches, and we could have a picnic outside. And after our picnic I could talk to your mom about when you can come here to our house to visit.”
“Yeah. We’re going to have a picnic, Mom. Tomorrow Daddy’s bringing a picnic.”
Jessi took the phone from Olivia. “Hi, Mark, it’s me, Jessi. What’s up?”
“Olivia asked me if she could come here tomorrow, and I countered her offer with me coming over to your place instead. Maybe afterward we could sit down and talk about visitation now that I’m here.”
“I think that would be wise. What time are you coming?”
“How does noon sound? Or would evening be better? It really doesn’t matter.”
“Well, Olivia and I were supposed to go over to her school around eleven to meet with her kindergarten teacher. Then I was going to take her school shopping. With everything else we haven’t gotten to the school shopping yet, so how about evening? I think that would be best.”
“Okay, let Olivia know I’ll be over at six o’clock sharp for a picnic.”
***
The rest of the day, Julia and Mark worked together at getting the house organized; she put the kitchen together while Mark set up their beds. Things were starting to come together. At least they were able to find the basic necessities. Julia noticed that Mark had been out of sorts since talking with Jessi on the phone. “Hey, little brother, everything is going to be all right. You know that, don’t you?”
She could always read him. “You know me so well, you know that, sis? I just can’t help but think that something is going to come along and ruin everything. I know it’s my old way of thinking, that I’m not trusting God to follow through on his promises, but I can’t seem to help it. I need to spend some serious time in my Bible and prayer before I hit the bed tonight. I haven’t been spending my alone time with God like I had been. I guess I’ve made excuses to myself that I’ve been too busy with everything going on, and I’ve been too tired because of it.”
Julia had known only too well how easy it was to fall into old habits, and she didn’t want to see Mark begin to go down that road. “I hate to be the one to remind you of this, Mark, but God wants our firsts, not our leftovers. We always think of giving our first in our tithes, but he also wants our firsts in other areas of our lives, like our time. I know how busy life gets, and it’s easy to put God on the backburner. It shouldn’t, and doesn’t, have to be that way. I fail in this area too sometimes. I have to continually remind myself that I have to take my time with God to survive my days. Without him I don’t know what I would do. I don’t think I want to know.”
Mark gave his sister a hug. “Thanks, sis. I really don’t know what I would do without you. I appreciate you being honest with me. I need to hear truth, and sometimes that truth might hurt. But it’s worth it. I love you.” He picked up his Bible and smiled at her. “It’s time to spend some time with this. Good night.”
After he headed to bed she found her own box marked “books” and pulled out her well-worn Bible. She rubbed her hand over the cover and traced the words Holy Bible with her in index finger. She carried her favorite book to her bed, and she too spent some alone time with her Savior.
Chapter 26
Jessi watched her daughter get her clothes ready for the next day. They were going to see her kindergarten teacher and then go out to lunch and school shopping. It seemed as though she’d grown out of everything when they’d taken the box of fall clothes out of storage. Nothing fit. Not her socks, shoes, pants, shirts, underclothes—you name it, she needed it. It sure was expensive raising kids. It seemed as though she just got caught up and the rollercoaster started over again. “You ready, kiddo? It’s bath time.”
“I’m all ready. Let me get my jammies.” Olivia followed Jessi into the bathroom and jumped into the water her mother had prepared for her.
“You need some help? I can get your hair if you want.”
“I think I can do it. Maybe you could help me rinse it.”
Jessi couldn’t believe how independent her daughter was becoming. She used to have to hold her head out of the water to gently bathe her, and now she barely wanted help to wash her hair. It wasn’t fair. They grew up way too fast.
“Okay, but you have to wash it really good, or else it’ll still be dirty and I’ll have to wash it over again. I’ll just check it over when you have all the soap suds on and make sure you got behind your ears good. Then I’ll help you rinse it.”
Olivia started humming as she was washing. Jessi took the time to straighten up the bathroom a little bit. “You ready for me to check your hair?”
“Yep. I’m all done.”
Jessi knelt beside the tub and looked over Olivia’s head. “You sure did a good job. I don’t have to rewash anything. Let’s get it rinsed. Do you want to lay back, or should I just pour water over your head?”
“I’ll lay back this time.”
When bath time was over, Olivia paddled back into her room. After her mom had brushed her hair, Olivia pulled her Bible off her bookshelf. “Mom, would you read to me?”
Jessi looked at the Bible and wanted with all her being to tell Olivia no. Unfortunately there wasn’t a good excuse she could use to keep from reading the Bible to the child. She had to wonder if Aunt Merry bought her the gift with an ulterior motive. It sure seemed she was reminding herself of lots of Bible stories since they’d been back from Oklahoma.
Jessi took the Bible from her daughter. “What story do you want to read tonight?”
Olivia pondered the question for a moment. She already had her favorites, but she was thinking a new story would be good tonight. “Mommy, how about we read about Jesus dying on the cross. We haven’t read that one yet, and I remember it from Sunday school with Aunt Merry.”
Jessi flipped through the children’s Bible until she reached the story that Olivia wanted read. With each word she read, she felt an emptiness inside of her that just seemed to get bigger. Was this the answer? Were Aunt Merry, Mark, Julia, Olivia, and Ethan right? Did God truly love her and die for her?
“That’s all for tonight. Maybe tomorrow night your dad can finish reading it to you.” Jessi closed the Bible without finishing the story. Olivia looked as though she was about to cry, but Jessi couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to think about the possibilities any more tonight. She gave her daughter a kiss and turned out the overhead light. “I love you, Olivia. Maybe someday Mommy will be able to read you a whole story.”
She tucked her daughter in, knowing full well by the tears shining in Olivia’s eyes that she had hurt her daughter. She didn’t mean to hurt her, truly she didn’t. She’d have to find a way to get through those stories without letting them affect her so. She hated to see her daughter in pain, especially by her own hand.
Olivia watched her mom go out and close the door behind her. She kept a small light on by the bed so she could see real well. She crept out of bed and got her Bible off the shelf where her mom had put it. She opened the Bible and turned to the story that was left unfinished. She slowly sounded out the words and finished reading the story to herself. She hadn’t told her mom that she could read. For some reason, she felt she wasn’t supposed to tell her mom yet. Each night she was able to finish the story that her mom left unread. Olivia was very proud of herself. She’d tried real hard to learn to read, and the games she and her mom played helped a lot. She didn’t feel like she was lying to her mom, because that would be wrong. So she prayed about it, and she felt like she had to wait to tell her, like a surprise. Just like her birthday party would be a surprise. She finished her story and then knelt by her bed.
“Jesus, would you help my mommy love you? I know that sometimes she’s sad, Jesus, and I don’t like her sad. If she loved you, she wouldn’t be sad anymore. I also told Daddy that I was going to pray real hard that Mommy and Daddy would be together so we could be a real family. I hope you don’t mind that I keep asking you the same things over and over again. Sometimes Mommy doesn’t like that either. But I really, really want us to be a family and live in the same house just like families are supposed to. Will you help us be a family, Jesus? Please? That’s all I’m going to ask for right now so you don’t feel like I’m being greedy. In Jesus’s name. Amen.”
Olivia climbed back into bed and covered herself up. She fell asleep thinking about being a real family.
Jessi changed into her nightgown and settled into her rocking chair with Aunt Merry’s journals. It had been a while since she had taken the time to read any of the entries. Tonight seemed like the perfect night to take some time to read. She opened the journal and found where she left off.
Saturday, February 15, 1964
I’m so scared. We have driven back to the lookout several times, and I did things I am so ashamed of. I don’t know what to do. Lester will barely even talk to me now. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and I didn’t even hear from him. When I called him to tell him I had a gift for him, he said he’d been busy and wouldn’t be able to come over for a few days. He did say he had a gift for me too. That does give me some hope.
I’m late for my period, and I’m afraid. I don’t know who to talk to. I haven’t talked to my friends in so long that they barely even acknowledge me anymore. It’s all my fault. I thought if I had a boyfriend like Lester nothing else would matter. I thought it wouldn’t matter if I still hung out with my childish friends. I’m beginning to think that turning into a woman wasn’t such a good idea. I already miss being a girl. Gotta go; Mom’s calling me for dinner.
Jessi couldn’t believe what she had just read. Aunt Merry, promiscuous? Never. She wouldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe it. It went against everything she’d ever thought about her aunt. She had to keep reading.
Thursday, February 20, 1964
I am so relieved. I got my period. Thank you, God. I promise I will be good from now on. I won’t do that again ever, at least until I’m married. The other good news is Lester called and asked me to go to dinner next Friday night. I told him it was so far away, and he said he would explain then. He told me he missed me. I’m so happy things are working out for me. Lester misses me. I love him so much. Maybe he’s going to ask me to marry him. Maybe that is what he wants to talk about. That’s it. He’s been working real hard to save up for a ring, and now he’s saved enough. I can’t wait until next Friday. I called up the girls to see if they wanted to go and see a movie, and they said yes, so I have to go. We’re meeting tonight at seven. Everything’s great, just like it should be.
Jessi closed the journal. She couldn’t take any more for the night. The idea of her aunt, the one she cherished and held up on a pedestal, doing the things this journal suggested just wasn’t sitting well with her. She made her way to the kitchen and drank a hot cup of tea before going to bed. She needed something to calm her mind down before she could attempt going to sleep.
***
The next morning she and Olivia slept in a little bit before having breakfast and dressing for their day out. Olivia would be attending school in Milton, and Jessi taught school in Edgerton, one town away. They made their way to the classroom where Olivia would be spending a good portion of each weekday for the next year. Her teacher, Ms. Benedict, was fairly new to the school system, having only graduated from college two years prior.