“Hello, is anyone here?” Jessi yelled out, knowing full well that Dr. Davies was somewhere in the building.
Not only was his car in the parking lot, but the doors were unlocked. At least the teachers’ entrance was.
“Jessi? Is that you?” Dr. Davies rounded the corner, probably coming from the copy room. “Didn’t you receive my message? I left a message on your voicemail that school had been cancelled for today. This ice storm is going to be a killer.”
Jessi groaned and glanced outside. She had forgotten to charge her cell phone. Her windshield looked like one of those glass block showers. Everything was out of focus. Heading straight home now would definitely be a problem. At the very least, the roads wouldn’t be drivable until the rain stopped. She wasn’t sure if the city even owned salt or sand spreaders, let alone was able to pay someone enough to risk their lives trying to save someone else’s. Probably not.
The words “Looks like I’ll be getting caught up on some of my grading today,” managed to escape from her lips, when all she really wanted to do was get back in her car and head home. She resigned herself to her day, even though her heart screamed for a second chance. If only she had checked the messages before she and Mark had their semi-argument she would be at home right now having breakfast with her son. If only. Her life thus far had been a series of “if onlys.” If only Mom and Dad had loved each other enough to stay together. If only I had listened to the voices in my past telling me that Mark was nothing but trouble. No, that’s not right. Then I wouldn’t have Ethan, and I would do anything for Ethan…even marry Mark again.
As she entered her classroom, her mental to-do list caught up with her. She made her way to her desk and began to check items off her list. It felt good to be getting something done. With everything else happening in her life, she hadn’t been able to keep up with her schoolwork. As she immersed herself in her work, she completely forgot about calling Mark.
***
By eleven, things seemed to be getting a bit better. The freezing rain had changed to rain as the air warmed up a bit. Mark figured this was as good a time as any to head out and grab the ingredients he needed for dinner. “Come on, buddy. We have to run to the store. Where’s your coat?”
Ethan went to his hook in the hallway where Mom put his coat and his backpack. He grabbed his coat, which was bright orange (Mom said it was easier to find him in a crowd that way), and walked back to his dad, who helped him put it on. “It shouldn’t take us too long. Your mom still likes spaghetti, right?”
“She loves it, especially the cheese bread,” Ethan said, speaking more for himself than his mother.
Together they headed out to the garage, where Mark’s car had been sitting for the last six months. He still had his license, as his rehab stint hadn’t been the result of an accident. He’d willingly checked himself in to prove to Jessi that he didn’t have a problem. He figured if he went willingly, she would know he really wasn’t an alcoholic, as she so loved to call him. And he’d proved himself. He didn’t have a problem. A guy with a problem wouldn’t be able to go six months without a beer, right? He couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. What was so wrong with a beer now and then? And what was with her attitude this morning. It was like she didn’t trust him with his own son. Well, Ethan was his son too, and he had just as much of a right to be with him as Jessi did. As far as he was concerned, she sheltered the kid a bit too much for his own good. If he was going to learn to get along in the real world, he was going to have to be in it once in a while. And besides that, she was going to turn him into a mama’s boy. That was out of the question. No son of his was going to be some whining wimp tied to his mama by the apron strings. It was time to take over the education of young Ethan and teach him to be a man.
Mark opened the car door and helped Ethan get buckled in his booster seat. That was one thing he would not challenge Jessi on. She’d blow up if she ever found out Ethan wasn’t in his safety seat. Their man-to-man talks would have to be from the front seat to the backseat, not like Mark and his dad’s—sitting next to each other in his dad’s old Buick, his dad with a beer in his hand, and him with a root beer, just like Dad. Someday I’ll be just like him, he had thought to himself. He would picture himself sitting in the front seat of a car like this one on a hot summer day with a nice cold beer. Nowadays you couldn’t even have a beer outside of the car and then drive, let alone tool along with one. Course, he didn’t let laws keep him from having fun when he was younger. He and his buddies would pick up a case and cruise down country roads like there was no tomorrow.
Yep, the fun stopped about six years ago, when he met Jessi. Granted she wasn’t a religious freak like her aunt Merry, but she was pretty straitlaced—no partying, no swearing, and certainly no fooling around before they were married. She was up front with him about that. He figured she was lying to him about the religion stuff. It turned out she wasn’t. She didn’t have time for a God who would allow so much pain and suffering in her life. Then she figured she wasn’t worthy of his love anyway. He could never figure that one out. If ever there was someone worthy of God’s love, it was a goody-two-shoe like his wife. He had never been attracted to teachers’ pets or Ms. Perfects before. She definitely fit into those categories. For the life of him, he could not remember what it was that had attracted him to her in the first place. She was pretty, that was for sure, with her blond hair and dark eyes. Dark brown. He’d never seen such dark eyes before. Indian eyes, she had told him later. He first noticed her at one of the college hangouts near Oklahoma State University. She’d been sitting with her friends at a table, and they were laughing and carrying on, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He’d asked her to dance, and they danced a couple of numbers before he offered to buy her a beer. She politely declined the beer and asked for a Sprite. He should have figured something was up with that but then dismissed it with the thought she was probably letting up because she was driving. Talk about wrong first impressions. Later he’d learned the only reason she was even there was because it was one of her roommates’ birthdays and she was in the minority when it came to choosing the place to celebrate. He’d gotten her number and promised to give her a call. After putting it off for a week, he was unable to get her off his mind, so he called her. They decided to get together the following Saturday for the OSU vs. OU football game. Being big rivals, the game promised to be packed to the hilt and a great showdown between two good football teams. About a half hour before kickoff, Jessi met him outside the stadium, as planned. He was duly impressed by her knowledge of football and didn’t mind letting her know. She had played flute in the marching band all through high school and had never missed a game in four years. Sometimes she lost her voice from yelling so much but never missed a game. Therefore, she developed an understanding of football, if not a love of the game.
The next thing he knew it was a year later and they were standing at an altar saying “I do.” A year after that, Ethan was born. Everything had been a series of up and downs since then. She had her teaching degree and had no problem securing a job in Oklahoma City, teaching inner-city third graders, while he drifted from construction crew to construction crew. It seemed as though he would just get in a rhythm at one job and then they’d let him go. So he’d been late a few times and had a couple at the local bar with his burger at lunch. Everyone else was doing the same thing. Shoot, a couple of times his crew chief drank one down with him. He still couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. Mark jumped when the car behind him laid on the horn. Green light.
Mark pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store, looked back at Ethan, and started to say something when he noticed Ethan was sound asleep in his car seat. Well, I suppose if I lock the doors he’ll be just fine. I just need a couple of things, and I’ll only be a minute, he thought to himself. Mark hurried into the nearly empty store and found the pasta, sauce, and French bread. He bought some cheese and the makings for a salad and then hurried out to where he left Etha
n. He found him right where he left him, sound asleep. He wasn’t sure if Ethan still took naps, but today he did.
Mark took a different route home, thinking the roads might be a little better than they were on route to the store. He saw the sign before he could really even read it: Pappy’s Bar and Grill. And it beckoned him like a lighthouse guiding a lost ship. I’ll just go in and say hi to everyone, he reasoned with himself. He looked back at Ethan, who was still sleeping soundly, and figured if he was okay in the grocery parking lot he would be fine for a few minutes while he went in to see his friends. He wouldn’t drink anything; he’d promised Jessi. He’d just say hi. He got out, locked the doors, and headed straight for the door.
***
Ethan woke up and looked around. He was cold. He let himself out of his car seat and curled up on the backseat of the car with the blanket his mother kept handy for emergencies. He recognized it for its warmth, curled up, and went straight back to sleep on the backseat of the old Buick.
***
It wasn’t until lunchtime that Jessi remembered to call home. No answer. She tried calling several times while she ate lunch. Still no answer. She closed her eyes and rested her arms and head on her desk. She breathed deeply, wishing she had remembered to call earlier.
It was something she would never forgive herself for.
Chapter 2
Mark’s friends finally talked him in to having a couple of beers with them. They sure tasted good, too. One followed another and then another. He lost track of time but knew he should be doing something else, so he finally said his good-byes and left. He almost fell on the ice trying to get back to his car. He slid in the front seat and started the car without a backward glance at his son sleeping on the backseat. Truth be told, he didn’t even remember Ethan was in the car. He shook his head, trying to clear up his vision. He pulled out of the parking lot rather cautiously, the way a drunk usually does.
If it hadn’t been icy, he probably would have been pulled over for weaving back and forth across the middle line. Unfortunately, most of the police were dealing with traffic accidents and helping the power company guard downed lines. One drunken dad, with his four-year-old son sleeping in the backseat, left the parking lot going the wrong direction on a road heading out of town.
Mark couldn’t remember where he was going, let alone how to get there. It seemed as though there were voices in his head playing tricks on him and they were all talking at once. Nothing was making sense, so he just drove—back and forth, weaving to and fro. Before long Mark was nodding off and then jerking his head back up. Finally, he nodded off and didn’t wake up until it was too late. He slept through tires hitting the gravel on the side of the road and the front of his car hitting a tree head-on. He slept through both Ethan and himself being thrown from the vehicle. One major difference was Mark weighed a lot more than Ethan did. When he did wake up, he found himself lying in a ditch. He tried to stand up but couldn’t make it to his knees. From a distance he could hear a very small voice saying, “Daddy, please help me; please, Daddy.” Mark belly crawled out of the ditch toward the small voice that he now knew was his son. He dragged one of his legs, which was twisted and lay at an odd angle behind him. He saw the car with the front end smashed up against a tree. On the street about twenty feet from the car, he saw Ethan. Ethan was laying very still for a boy of four. Mark instinctively knew that something was very wrong with his son, who was still quietly calling for his daddy, “Please, Daddy, please. Help me.”
Mark crawled to where his son lay and started sobbing. He couldn’t get help for his own son. He lay there next to Ethan, trying to give him what warmth he could, and waited until a passing car stopped to help. He would always remember the desperate cries of his son pleading with him for help. More importantly, he would always remember not being able to help his own son.
The police arrived on the scene just three minutes after the first passerby called in the accident. By the time they arrived, both father and son were covered with blankets in an effort to keep them warm. There was glass everywhere, and Ethan had bits and pieces embedded in his face and forehead. No one dared move the boy. The ambulance arrived right after the police and quickly transported both father and son to the nearest hospital. Mark’s wallet was checked for identification and residence. His blood was drawn, and tests confirmed what was already suspected. He was legally intoxicated, and his alcohol blood level was a .14, well above the legal limit. He suffered from multiple breaks in the right leg and two broken ribs. Ethan didn’t fare so well.
***
Jessi was beside herself trying to reach Mark at home. She decided to brave the elements and head home. She’d already done the distance once today. As long as she was extremely cautious, she should make it back again. As soon as her car left the parking lot, the school phone started ringing. After listening to the messenger on the end of the phone line, Dr. Davies ran out of the building just in time to see Jessi’s taillights grow dim and then disappear in the distance.
***
Jessi let herself in to the front door and looked around for a note. She did not find one. Next she checked phone messages. The first one was indeed from Dr. Davies. “Jessi. Hi, this is Dr. Davies. School has been cancelled for today because of the ice storm. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
There were two other messages, one from Aunt Merry inviting Jessi and Mark to attend church with her and Ethan and to have lunch at her house afterward. This was no surprise, as she extended this invitation at least once a month.
Jessi shook her head and had a wry smile for her aunt. “She sure doesn’t give up easy, I’ll give her that.”
She made a mental note to talk to Mark. If they were going to make a go of this marriage and be a good example for Ethan, maybe they should start attending church together. No one would have to know it was for appearances only. It was only an hour once a week, and it would make Ethan happy, not to mention Aunt Merry.
The next message caused her to catch her breath. “Hi, Mrs. Jensen, this is officer Burtell with the Oklahoma City Police Department. Your husband and son were involved in a car accident today. We tried to reach you in person at home as well as by phone at your place of work. They have been taken to Baptist Medical Center on NW Expressway. Please enter at the emergency room, and the nurse at the registration desk will direct you to where your family members are.”
That was it. No reassuring words, no explanations, nothing.
All the way to the hospital, Jessi pleaded with God. “God, if you would just let Ethan be okay, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll go to church. I’ll give money. I’ll move to Africa—anything, God. Please just let him be okay.” She tried cutting every deal she could think of. She promised him everything she had—all her worldly possessions and her health—not stopping to think that the only thing he might want was the one thing she did not offer: her heart.
Jessi pulled into Baptist Medical Center at the emergency entrance at 1:23 in the afternoon and ran into the hospital. She grabbed the first person she saw that looked like they worked there. “Where is my son? I’m Jessi Jensen. My husband and son were brought in here a little while ago. Where is my son? Please take me to him.”
The nurse smiled at Jessi and led her to the reception area. Giving the receptionist a look that Jessi did not at all know how to interpret, she introduced her. “Sandy, this Mrs. Jensen. She is looking for her husband and her son. Could you please see that she is taken care of?” With that, she turned and continued walking in the direction she had been pulled from.
Sandy smiled at Jessi. “I will phone the doctor and let him know you are here.”
With her patience wearing very thin, Jessi stood by the receptionist’s desk and waited. A few minutes later, who she assumed to be a doctor appeared by her side.
“Mrs. Jensen, I am Dr. Peters. Why don’t we go over to my office so we are a bit more comfortable?”
Jessi wordlessly followed the doctor.
She sat across
from him and calmly asked, “Where is my son?”
“Mrs. Jensen, I’m not sure of how much you know or if you know anything at all, so I am going to assume I am the first person to actually speak to you since the accident. I will start with your husband’s condition. Mark was brought to the emergency room via ambulance. He has multiple contusions and several fractures in his right leg. He will need surgery to be able to walk properly, as he also fractured his right ankle. He has two broken ribs and a punctured lung. He’s in pretty good condition, all things considering. The police will want to speak with you as soon as you are able to, to discuss the details of the accident. Mrs. Jensen, medically speaking, I must tell you that Mark’s blood alcohol level was .14. Your husband had been drinking before the accident.”
Jessi closed her eyes, and a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. “Please tell me that Ethan is okay. Please tell me he wasn’t hurt.”
Dr. Peters took a deep breath and began. “Unfortunately, Ethan wasn’t as lucky. He was thrown from the vehicle on impact and has suffered an acute subdural hematoma from a traumatic injury to the head, which means he developed a blood clot, and he is bleeding internally from the tissue that protects and cushions the brain from the skull as a result of his head hitting the icy road. He is in surgery now, and surgeons are working to drain the fluid from the brain. He was conscious at the scene of the accident but slipped into a comatose state before he reached the hospital. Studies have been done showing that patients with severe head trauma often have a better chance of recovery when their body temperatures were lowered into a semi-hypothermia state. These studies were not performed on four-year-old children, Mrs. Jensen, but we are hopeful that in this case the elements have made a positive contribution to your child’s recovery.
If Ethan makes it through the surgery, as we are hopeful he will, and if there are no further complications, then the best-case scenario would be for Ethan to come through the injury completely unscathed. The more likely scenario would be Ethan coming out of his coma with a combination of various types of side effects that range from vision problems to seizures. But that would be okay. As a matter of fact, better than okay. We can deal with the various symptoms that are caused from a trauma to the head. Worst-case scenario would be for Ethan to not recover from surgery and/or return to consciousness from his comatose state. We will cross that bridge when and if we have to. There are other relatively minor injuries compared with the brain trauma. He also has a fractured pelvis, a broken left arm, various contusions, and… ”