Jessi couldn’t believe her worst nightmare had just come true. Mark was going to move to Wisconsin. He was going to be a part of her life whether she liked it or not. It didn’t look as though she was going to have a choice in the matter. She had always known this would be a possibility. She’d just hoped it would never become a reality. Jessi turned and walked home.
Chapter 14
Jessi walked in and slammed the door. Since leaving the park she’d thought of a hundred responses to Mark and his solution to being with Olivia. Why she couldn’t come up with one quick enough to counter him before he walked off, she’d never know. Now she had to face the possibility of Mark actually moving to Wisconsin and being a constant in hers and Olivia’s lives. She walked through the kitchen and out the back door, where she watched Olivia and Aunt Merry playing in the garden. Neither noticed her presence in their land of fairies, castles, princesses, and frogs. Olivia was dressed up in the princess costume that her grandmother had bought her. She had to admit that it was a good gift, even if it was purchased out of guilt. Olivia loved it. Maybe that’s all that counted. The memories Olivia would have of her grandmother may be few, but at least they would be special. Mom always saw to that. Jessi could hear Olivia talking to Aunt Merry from her perch outside the back door.
“Mr. Frog, you need to kiss the princess, and then you can be a real prince. The princess needs a real prince, right, Aunt Merry?”
“Yes, sweetheart, the princess needs a real prince. She certainly can’t marry a frog, you know.”
Olivia giggled. “How silly. Who would want to marry a frog?” Olivia continued. “I think Mommy is a princess. She’s pretty like one. Don’t you think so?”
Merry played along. “Yes, I do think she is pretty like a princess. We should ask her to play castle with us when she gets home.”
Olivia thought about that for a moment. “Who would be her prince?”
Merry knew the child was a sensitive one and wondered just how much she understood in regard to her mother and father. “Well, I don’t know, Olivia. Who do you think should be her prince?”
“Well, that nice man who came over yesterday would make a nice prince. And he did say he was going to come back and see me. Maybe he would like to be Mommy’s prince?”
Merry sighed and looked around. “Well, you could certainly ask her. I don’t know if your mommy wants a prince right now.”
An incredulous look crossed Olivia’s face. “Why wouldn’t Mommy want a prince? Mommy reads me stories about princesses, and I know that all princesses want a prince. Ask Mommy; she’ll tell you. Cinderella wanted a prince. And Snow White wanted a prince. In my story, Mommy wants a prince.”
Jessi figured this was a good time to interrupt their play, and she walked to where she would be seen.
Olivia saw her first. “Mommy, tell Aunt Merry that all princesses want to have a prince. Tell her.”
Merry looked at Jessi with a look that said, “I tried.”
Jessi sat down in the grass next to her daughter. “Olivia is right. A princess definitely wants a prince.”
Olivia raised her chin a little and looked at her aunt. “See, I told you. Mommy wants a prince.”
“Whoa, what makes you think Mommy wants a prince?” Jessi waited for Olivia’s reply.
Olivia, with tears forming in her eyes, defiantly crossed her arms and again lifted her chin before replying, “Because, Mommy, I want to have a daddy!” She then turned and ran from the garden, through the house, up the stairs, and into her room.
Jessi rested her head in her hands. Her daughter was missing her father. She was going to have to find out if anything Mark said was true about the past six years. While she wanted nothing to do with him, Olivia needed her dad.
Jessi got up and followed Olivia to her room. She knocked on the door and entered to find Olivia lying facedown on her bed, crying. It broke Jessi’s heart to see her daughter in pain. She sat down next to Olivia and rubbed her back. “Honey, I want you to have Daddy too. I really do. Mommy needs you to forgive her for something. Do you think you can do that?”
Olivia sat up in bed. She and her mother had a pact. When one of them did something wrong or hurt the other one’s feelings, they asked for forgiveness. “Mommy, why do you need me to forgive you?”
Jessi was hoping she wouldn’t regret this decision. “Because I told you something that wasn’t true. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I know that it wasn’t the right thing. Telling the truth is always the right thing to do.”
“What wasn’t the truth?”
“Well, I told you that you didn’t have a daddy. But that wasn’t the truth. You do have a daddy.”
Olivia’s eyes were dry and open wide. “I do? I really do? Where is he, Mommy? Where is my daddy?”
This was the tough part. “Well, do you remember that man who was here yesterday?” Olivia nodded her head. “He’s your daddy, sweetheart.”
Olivia threw her arms around her mother’s neck. “Oh, thank you, Mommy. I’ve always wanted a daddy. All my friends have daddies, and I wanted one too. Now I have a daddy.” Olivia stopped talking and became pensive. “Mommy, didn’t Daddy want to be my daddy?”
Jessi knew this was coming. Olivia was too smart to just accept that she had a father. She would have a lot of questions over the next few days. “No, honey, it’s nothing like that. Your daddy had to go away for a long time, and he wasn’t able to come and be your daddy. Now that he is back, he wants to be your daddy real bad. He loves you, Olivia. As a matter of fact, he is going to move to Wisconsin just so he can live by you. What do you think of that?” Jessi smiled at her daughter.
“Will he live in our house? Like all my friends’ daddies?”
Jessi breathed out. “No, he won’t live with us. He will have his own house, and he will live there. But he can come to our house and visit you. How does that sound?”
“Well, I think he will live in our house with us. Mommies and daddies should live together with their children. Aunt Merry told me I can pray to God anytime I want, and he will listen to me. She told me it’s okay if I ask God for things as long as I’m really really sure I’m thankful and thinking of others first. I am thankful for having a daddy, and I am thinking of you and Daddy first. So I’m gonna pray and ask God to let you and Daddy and me live all together in our house. That’s what I think.”
Olivia hopped off the bed. “I’m going to tell Aunt Merry about my daddy. I just knew he was your prince.” And with that she ran out the door.
Jessi opened her mouth and then shut it again.
Chapter 15
Mark walked around for a while before stopping at a bus stop. He had to think about what had just happened with Jessi. He couldn’t believe she’d tried to put him off with seeing Olivia once a year while she visited her aunt. That was no way to be a father. He wanted a real relationship with his daughter. He’d never done anything right in his life, and this was his chance to prove that he could be a good father, even better than good.
His daughter needed him. He had heard about girls who had no relationship with their dads while he was in prison, both from the guys who took advantage of young girls and the fathers who taught the guys who took advantage a lesson. He didn’t want his little girl looking for approval and worth from physical relationships with guys who didn’t love her. She needed to develop her own sense of self-worth so she wouldn’t need the approval of others. For that, she needed a father who would love her and encourage her. She needed him.
Now, convincing his parole officer that this would be a good move for him was next. He stopped at a payphone and made an appointment for the next day. Mark headed home and read his Bible while he ate macaroni and cheese for supper. He read in Romans, and when he got to chapter 8, verse 28—“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”—he repeated the verse to himself several times and waited for God’s peace to envelop him, praising hi
s Father with his lips.
That night Mark went to church with Bill. There was a men’s Bible study he had been looking forward to taking part in. Bill picked him up at six fifteen, and on the way to the church Mark told Bill what was happening.
“Bill, I don’t know what came over me. I went to meet her with Meredith’s words specifically in mind: ‘Go slow; take it easy,’ she said. ‘It will take her time to get used to the idea.’ But when she suggested I see Olivia once a year when she visits her aunt, I just blurted out exactly what I had been thinking. I told her I would be moving to Wisconsin to be closer to Olivia whether she liked it or not. I didn’t even give her a chance to comment. Then I left the park and called my parole officer. Do you think I acted too rashly? Do you think I actually have a chance?”
Bill had seen many different scenarios in his days of working within the jail system. “I’m not sure how the system will react, Mark. I’ve seen some guys with totally crazy ideas who have actually been given the go-ahead, and some others with relatively tame ideas who have been turned down. It depends on who you talk with and whether or not they decide to take up your cause. Have you prayed about this? Is this God’s will for your life?”
Mark thought about all the hours he’d spent in prayer. He mostly thought about the instant bonding he had felt with the little girl he met at Meredith’s house, his little girl, and the desire to be with her, teach her, and learn from her. There was so much they could give each other.
“Yes, I have, Bill. I have prayed and read my Bible for hours. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t concentrate during the day. I just can’t imagine doing anything else. Oklahoma doesn’t even appeal to me anymore. All I can think about is Wisconsin. I went to the library and looked up all I could about the state. I want to be near her, Bill. I just can’t imagine the alternative.”
By the time they reached the church, Mark had Bill’s word that he would find out all he could for him, as well as put in a good word for him if possible. Bill pulled into the parking lot, and both men entered the church. Bible study was exactly what Mark needed. He met some men who agreed to pray for him. He even found a job with a business owner who needed a janitor. The Oklahoma job market was down, and he’d had a hard time securing a position in the construction field. Mark gave a shortened version of his testimony and walked away with a whole support group. Things were looking up.
The next morning, Mark entered the county complex where his parole officer was located. At ten he was ushered into an office and was sitting and explaining his situation. “I’m not asking for the probation period to end. I’m just asking for a transfer into the Wisconsin system. My ex-wife had a child while I was in prison and didn’t tell me, after which she moved to Wisconsin. Now I have a five-year-old little girl who lives eight hundred miles away from me, and I would like to live near her. Is there something I can do?”
Terrance Clark—friends called him Terry—had been a parole officer for twenty-two years when Mark Jensen entered his life from within the system. He liked the guy. He wanted to help him. Mark had been through some rough times, had done some pretty heinous stuff, but underneath he was a pretty decent guy. Terry dealt with all types, and Mark was pretty much the exception when it came to rehabilitation. Most of the guys he supervised went through all the hoopla, said all the right things, and then ended up back in prison for doing the same thing, if not something worse. He would bet the farm that Mark would never see the inside of a prison cell again.
“Mark, I’m not making you any promises here, but I’m going to see what I can do. I’ll make some calls and talk to some people who can make things happen. I’ll do my best.”
Mark left Terry’s office feeling pretty hopeful. He had to call him back in a week to see where things were at. If all went well, he would be moving to Wisconsin within a couple of months.
Mark decided to head to his sister’s house, as he would be starting work and wouldn’t have much time for a while. The company he was going to work for had been without a reliable janitor for so long that Mark was going to have to work some extra hours to help get them in order. Between that, spending time with Olivia, and going to church, he’d be pretty busy. He’d not seen his sister since he’d been released from prison, and he wanted her support. Her support had made all the difference while he was in prison.
Mark called from a payphone before he took a bus to her neighborhood. She was excited to hear from him, and yes, by all means, he could come over. She had a direct selling business that she operated from her home and was usually pretty flexible with her schedule. Today she had been making phone calls and doing paperwork. She was glad for the break.
As soon as Julia hung up with her brother, she closed up the office and headed to the kitchen. I bet he hasn’t had a good meal since before he went to prison, she thought. Right away she set to work making lunch. Chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes would hit the spot. She was just finishing up when the doorbell rang. She had worried that Mark would fall back to his old ways once he was out of prison. She would know as soon as she saw him if her worries were in vain or with good cause. She made her way to the door and broke out in a huge grin when she looked at him. He looked better than she’d seen him look since the accident. He looked healthy and vibrant. He actually looked happy. She knew that he had made a complete turnaround while in prison. He’d come out a completely different person. She threw her arms around his neck in a big hug. She stood back and looked at him. “It’s so good to have my little brother back. I’ve missed you. I have lunch ready.”
Mark inhaled a deep breath and said, “Something smells delicious,” and followed his sister into the kitchen. She had the table set for two with a salad already on the table. She dished up the rest of the food and set it on the table.
“Sis, I believe I need to say grace. I have a bunch to be thankful for.” They bowed their heads. “Lord, I want to thank you for all you have been doing in my life. Thank you for my wonderful sister and all she has put up with from me. I pray that somehow I can be a blessing to her, Father, as she has blessed me so much. I thank you for the food that you have so graciously provided. In Jesus’s name, amen.” Mark dug in with gusto.
After lunch, Mark and Julia discussed all his options. Julia felt as though she was losing her brother again. Wisconsin was a long ways away. “When do you think you will be moving?”
Mark sensed his sister’s mood. “Well, I can’t leave until I get the go-ahead from my parole officer, and even then I won’t be leaving until Jessi and Olivia return to Wisconsin. You know, sis, you could come with me.”
Julia hadn’t given the possibility a thought, but now that Mark had brought it up, it was worth looking into. She didn’t have much to remain for in Oklahoma. They had family that lived in the area, but she’d never felt particularly close to them like she had felt to Mark. For some reason, probably their nearness in age, they had always been close. Even during the hard years, they could help each other out. Her husband had died several years before in a work-related accident. They had always planned on having children someday. He died before they got around to it, and she’d always regretted waiting. The idea of living near her niece was very appealing. “Mark, what do you say we drive over and see Olivia? I’m dying to meet her.”
“I already planned on going over today, so you are welcome to come with me. There’s just one thing; she doesn’t know I’m her dad yet. So we can’t say anything. I want to make this as easy for her as possible. She thinks her dad is dead.”
“That’s gonna be hard to explain. What does Jessi say about it?”
“Jules,” Mark said, reverting to his childhood pet name for her, “I understand completely why Jessi did what she did. It’s easier to tell a kid that her father is dead than that he’s a loser who is in prison for killing her older brother. In some ways, I want her to think I’m dead. I’m going to have a real hard time answering her questions honestly as she gets older and still retain her love and respect. I would hav
e probably done the same thing. I better call and make sure they’re home before we head over.”
Mark picked up and dialed while Julia thought about the possibilities. She could sell her place and buy something up north. She’d have Mark around to help with the stuff she didn’t know how to do or didn’t have time for, and he’d have a place to live and decent food to eat. Her business could be operated from anywhere in the world, so that wasn’t an issue. She did have her church and friends, but she would find a new church, and she didn’t seem to have a problem making friends. This was worth praying about. Her thoughts were interrupted when Mark addressed her.
“Julia, did you hear me?” Mark grinned at her. “I didn’t think so. I said we can go over, but Jessi wants to talk with me first. It seems she has found her tongue since we last spoke. I’m sure she is going to give me a hundred reasons why I can’t move to Wisconsin, now that she’s had time to think about it. I think I caught her by surprise when I told her my plans.”
They headed over to Aunt Merry’s house in Julia’s car, a two-door Corsica that badly needed replacing. She had planned on going and looking at new cars—she had the money set aside—but if she was seriously considering this move, it would make more sense to wait until she got to Wisconsin. It wasn’t long before they were pulling up in front of the house. Julia turned to look at her brother. “I’m nervous, Mark. What if she doesn’t like me?”
Mark started laughing. “Julia, she is a five-year-old little girl. You don’t have to impress her. Just be yourself. Besides, what’s not to like.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
They approached the house and were let in by Aunt Merry. She led them into the living room and offered them some cold iced tea. It was an unusually hot day, even by Oklahoma’s standards. A hundred and five in the shade made cold sweet tea go down pretty well. Aunt Merry was about to go get Jessi when Olivia screamed what sounded like “Daddy” and took off for Mark at a full run.