His hand cupped my face. I loved when he did that. It made me feel safe. Like his large hands could protect me.
The restroom door opened behind me, and I felt him tense. Oh God, he still reacted to her. He had loved her. I hadn’t known he had loved her. The feeling of safety left me, and I shook my head in answer to his question while simultaneously moving away from her. Away from him. Away from my confused emotions.
“Did you do that? Is she upset because you said something to her?” West was angry. I turned to see him glaring at Raleigh much the same way she’d glared at me. His glare was just more intense. And frightening.
Raleigh shrugged and flipped her dark hair over her shoulder as if nothing had happened. “I’ve moved on, West. I don’t care who you do,” she snapped at him before strutting away. I knew she didn’t mean what she’d said, but she was a great actress.
“She said something to you,” he said, closing the distance between us again.
I shrugged. “Nothing much. She’s just . . . not over you.”
He slid his hand over my hip. “Whatever she said, don’t listen to her. She’s trying to hurt me, and she’s figured out that hurting you will hurt me. That’s all.”
I didn’t think he was right about that, but I wasn’t going to correct him. Instead I changed the subject.
“I thought you’d be eating by now,” I said.
He smirked, then bent his head to kiss my lips once. “Not without you.”
Oh. I didn’t know what to think about that. What were we now? Had last night really changed us?
He put his hand on my back. “Come on. Let’s go eat.”
I went. Because I had no idea how to ask him what we were now.
“Missed you this morning,” he said, his hand not leaving me.
“We texted.” I reminded him of the many texts he’d sent me throughout morning classes.
“Can’t see your face in a text,” he replied.
The birds in my stomach woke up.
When we got to the cafeteria door, West reached in front of us and opened it, and we walked inside together.
Every eye in the place was on us . . . or it felt like it. I could feel people staring. Wondering what had happened with us. Why our friendship seemed more intimate now. I glanced over at his table, and Brady, Asa, and Ryker were all watching us. Gunner was the only one who didn’t find us entertaining. He was too busy glaring at his phone while he texted something.
I didn’t look at anyone else as we walked through the line. West’s arm went around my shoulders, and he tugged me close to him as he placed a kiss to my temple. Surprised, I glanced up at him, but suddenly he was looking at someone else with a scowl. Following his gaze, I saw that Nash had stopped to watch us, his tray in his hands.
Nash looked at me, then shook his head and walked off toward the table with the other guys. I was sure they’d seen that interaction between West and Nash. Would Brady make it okay with them now that West and I were . . . doing whatever this was?
“Is he mad?” I whispered. I didn’t want his friends upset with him. He needed their support right now.
“Don’t care. If he is, he’ll get over it.”
That wasn’t the answer I was hoping for.
He grabbed my tray and his, and we walked over to the table and our vacant seats in between Brady and Nash.
West sat down next to Nash, which was normally where I sat. He was making a statement today. I just wasn’t sure what it was yet.
“So, y’all are a thing now?” Gunner asked, dropping his phone onto the table and reaching for his soda. “Thought she was off-limits and shit.”
“Don’t,” Brady said before West could react. “This ain’t got nothing to do with you.”
Gunner seemed more amused than anything. He picked up his apple and smirked. “Sure don’t.” Then he glanced at Nash before taking a bite and grinning.
I wanted to be anywhere but here.
“I was wondering, though, Maggie. You got a date for the homecoming dance yet?” Gunner asked.
“Gunner, shit, man,” Ryker muttered.
I didn’t look up. I studied the fries I was about to eat and pretended like I didn’t hear him. I hadn’t thought about the homecoming dance. I’d seen the posters and I’d heard the announcements, but I wasn’t thinking about it. I’d never been to a dance. I didn’t expect to go to this one.
“She’s with me, Gunner. She’s going with me. Everywhere,” West replied. “Is that enough clarification for you?”
His hand slid over my knee and squeezed as he spoke.
“Well, that clears that up,” Asa said with a chuckle. “We gonna let this slide or what?”
I glanced up at Asa to see who he was talking to. His gaze was fixed on Brady.
My cousin simply nodded. Nothing else was said.
Talk of Friday’s game began to take over, and I eventually relaxed enough to eat most of my lunch.
She Had Become My Everything
CHAPTER 36
WEST
Coach had said I didn’t have to be at practice this week. Although, if I wanted to, I could still play in the game. He knew they needed me, and he also knew my dad would have wanted me to play. So, I’d play.
I had missed all the other practices, but I wasn’t going to miss this one. My grandmother was at my house by now, so I knew my mother wasn’t alone. It gave me some freedom, but it also was keeping me from my house. I didn’t want that woman there. She’d never visited, not once my entire life. We always had to go to her home. She rarely spoke to my father or acknowledged him.
I felt nothing for her.
But my mother loved her.
No one questioned me when I walked into the locker room to get my practice gear on. Some nodded, a few slapped me on the back, but no one said a thing. This was what I needed. If I couldn’t have Maggie with me all the time, then this was the only other way to keep my mind free of shit.
As I tied my cleats, I stood up to see Brady walking over to me. He wanted answers, and I wasn’t going to give them to him. What I’d told him this morning was his answer.
“How long has she been talking to you?” he asked in a hushed voice.
I grabbed my helmet and started walking to the door. “A while,” I replied.
“How long’s ‘a while’? Since the hospital . . . or before?”
“Before.”
Brady fell into step beside me. “That’s why you grew attached so fast, isn’t it? She’s been helping you deal with things. She’s been there.”
I didn’t reply. I didn’t know the answer. Maybe that was why I’d grown attached to her so quickly. Grief changed you. Made you react differently. But I didn’t want to say that I wouldn’t have wanted Maggie had she not spoken to me.
But would I have?
“You understand probably better than anyone what she’s gone through. If she’s told you stuff, it’s more than she’s told anyone else.”
He was right. She had, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
“She needs to talk to other people,” Brady added.
He wasn’t going to let up about this. I had to shut this down. Until Maggie was ready to talk, I wasn’t going to let anyone make her.
I stopped walking and looked at him. “She isn’t ready. It’s how she deals. Let her deal with things the way she needs to. I won’t let anyone push her. Not even you,” I told him. Then I walked off toward the field and left him standing there.
It was almost midnight when Maggie slid her window open for me to come inside. I had practice until late then gone to the bluff and sat up there for a few hours. When Momma had called about me coming home to eat, I did. For her. Then my grandmother had asked me about college, and I had left without answering her. She hadn’t been there for us before, and she had no right to interfere with my life now.
I called Momma and told her to go to sleep. Told her I’d be home soon, that I was at Brady’s. That was the truth. I was at Brady’s. I just wasn’t here for Brady. I think she probably knew that, but she didn’t ask.
Maggie stood in the middle of her room in a pair of baggy sweatpants tied at the waist and a tank top. Her long hair was in a messy knot on top of her head, and she couldn’t have looked more beautiful. I’d missed her this afternoon. I always missed her when she wasn’t with me.
That scared me if I thought about it too much. I didn’t want to miss her like this. I could lose her.
No.
I wasn’t going to lose Maggie. I wouldn’t let that happen. I would make her want to stay with me. I’d be whatever she needed me to be.
“Hey,” she said softly.
I grinned. “Hey.”
Closing the distance between us, I reached for her and held her close to me. “Missed you,” I whispered before pressing a kiss to her lips. She had great lips.
She laughed against my kiss. I loved that sound. She didn’t laugh often. But when she did, it was like magic. “What’s so funny?” I asked, unable to keep the incredibly pleased smile from hearing her laughter off my face.
“You just saw me a few hours ago,” she said.
I shook my head. “No, I saw you nine hours ago. That is not a few. It’s a fucking long time.”
Maggie pressed her lips together, and her eyes danced with laughter. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. Her face was washed clean. I loved that she had known I was coming over and didn’t fix up. She was just her, and she was comfortable being just her.
“You really should be sleeping. You have the game tomorrow night,” she said as she placed a hand on my chest.
“I am gonna sleep. Here with you. I’ll set my alarm to get up at five, and I’ll go home. But tonight I want to hold you.”
Her eyes sparked with pleasure. That made me think about things. Things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Not in her house. Not where Boone was so close to us.
I glanced over at her bed and could see she had already been in it tonight. I hadn’t texted her I was coming over until about an hour ago. I wondered if she’d been asleep then. Seeing her covers messy and knowing I was going to have her cuddled up against me all night made everything that felt hollow fade away. Maggie made me feel like a caveman. I liked having her with me.
Maggie slipped her hand into mine, and I had that familiar feeling of peace that had gotten me through this last month. Four weeks. Tomorrow it would have been exactly one month since I kissed her at the field party. She’d come into my life when I thought I was going to lose myself. When I wasn’t sure I had the strength to make it. And she’d shown me I could. She had reminded me that I wasn’t the only person on earth to lose a parent.
Maggie pulled the covers back on my side then crawled over to her side to straighten her sheets. Seeing her like this, being here with her like this, made me want things. Things that should be for me and me only. For example, I never wanted another guy to see her dressed like that on this bed. Just me. I didn’t want her to ever slip her hand in another guy’s hand. Ever. Just mine.
“You have to get in in order to go to sleep,” Maggie whispered, a playful smile on her lips.
She had become my lifeline. I wanted to be hers. I wanted her to feel this way about me, too.
I climbed into the bed and lay on my back with one arm behind my head and the other one held out for Maggie, inviting her to come lay her head on my chest. She didn’t need instruction. She knew exactly what I wanted. When her head was right where I liked it, I slipped my hands into her silky hair and untied her bun. She didn’t protest.
We lay there quietly for a few minutes while I played with her hair and stared at the ceiling fan. My head was a mix of emotions. She’d entered my life when I’d needed her most. I’d never expected this. Or her. But now that I had her, I wasn’t sure how I’d made it this long without her.
My Girl
CHAPTER 37
MAGGIE
When Aunt Coralee knocked on my bedroom door to wake me, I had a brief moment of panic until I saw West wasn’t in my bed anymore. I guess I hadn’t woken up when he’d left.
There was a note on the pillow where he had slept. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and then opened the folded paper.
GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL. YOU WERE SLEEPING SO PEACEFULLY WHEN I LEFT. I DIDN’T WANT TO WAKE YOU. BUT TODAY I’D LIKE TO BE THE ONE TO TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL. I’LL BE BY AT SEVEN THIRTY. IF BRADY GIVES YOU A HARD TIME-, CALL ME AND HAND THE PHONE TO HIM.
He wanted me to ride with him to school. I glanced up at the mirror across from my bed and saw the smile on my face. It was a real smile, one filled with excitement and hope. For a long time that smile had been a stranger to me. Now I was happy.
Standing up, I walked over to the mirror, then reached out and touched the girl there. She was older than the one I once knew. Her eyes held more strength and maturity. But she was happy. That was familiar.
“You’d like him, Mom,” I whispered. “He’s wonderful.”
She would have wanted me to tell her everything about him. She’d squeal with me when I told her about our first kiss. She would listen to me talk about him and not get bored. She hadn’t just been my mother; she’d been my best friend. Knowing that West would make her happy for me made me feel even more complete. The emptiness that had become part of me wasn’t so empty anymore. West was filling it.
Aunt Coralee’s voice calling that breakfast was ready reminded me that I had to hurry. I wanted to let her know I was riding with West today. It was his game day, and I wanted to surprise him with my school spirit too.
I just needed to get Brady to lend me a jersey.
Fifteen minutes later I was dressed and headed to the kitchen. I had texted Brady asking him if I could borrow a jersey. He’d agreed and said he’d bring it to the kitchen for me. I also had a note in my hand that wasn’t asking, more like telling, Aunt Coralee that I was riding with West today.
When I got there, Brady was already at the table eating a plate full of eggs and bacon. He was wearing the blue jersey that he would wear tonight. There was another blue one folded up on the table that had his same number but looked like it had been worn more.
“Here you go. You can take my jersey from last year,” he said, a grin tugging on the corners of his lips.
Did he think it was silly for me to wear it? Was this something I shouldn’t do yet?
“Good morning, Maggie. I have your plate on the warmer. Let me get it.” Aunt Coralee paused and looked at the white tank top I was wearing and frowned. “Um, I don’t think you can wear that to school.”
“Oh, she’s not. She’s wearing my old jersey today,” he replied.
Aunt Coralee’s eyes lit up, and she smiled. “Well, that is so sweet! Isn’t it, Brady?”
Brady continued to look like he was going to burst into laughter at any minute.
“Sure is,” he managed to say before eating another forkful of eggs.
I decided to ignore him and went to slip the jersey on before handing my note to Aunt Coralee. She read it then smiled softly. “Sure, sweetie. That’s fine. I expected this.” Relieved, I took my plate of food from her hands and moved to the table.
“What did you expect?” Brady asked.
“That she’d start riding with West to school soon.” Brady smirked again. “So, she’s riding with West today?” I nodded as Aunt Coralee said, “Yes.”
Brady was being weird, so I decided to ignore him. I was excited about riding with West. I was excited about his seeing me in a jersey. I was also excited about just seeing him.
He gave me a reason to love life again. I’d not really lived in two years, and I finally realized now I had missed so much. Not speaking had protected me in many ways, but it had also isolated me. From everyone.
When Aunt Coralee walked upstairs, Brady looked over at me. “What I warned you about with West is still something you need to remember. But I admit he is different with you. I’ve never seen him treat anyone the way he treats you. So maybe this is more to him than other relationships have been. I’m just afraid you could be a crutch to get him through dealing with his dad’s death. When someone else he wants comes along, he might take her. You’d be forgotten,” he said, then he stood up. “Guard your heart. He won’t mean to hurt you. But in the end he might.”
A sharp knock interrupted Brady. He glanced at the door as I stood up. I knew it was West. I grabbed my plate and took it to the sink before