One of his arms wraps around my waist while the other rests on the wall above my head. He’s still shirtless, so I feel every inch of his hot skin through the material of my thin dress as he presses me into the wall at my back.
“Back up,” I breathe, turning my head away from him, feeling his warm breath against my cheek and his hand slide up my waist, burning my skin as it moves.
“I can’t. You know I fucking can’t.” His fingers dig into my side and I squeeze my eyes tighter. “Look at me, June.”
“Back up,” I repeat as my pulse races, and tingles shoot through my system.
“Look at me, baby.” His voice is soft again as his hand moves to lock around my jaw.
“This isn’t a good idea,” I whisper the God’s honest truth as my eyes open to meet his. I may think he’s beautiful—I may even have at some point decided he needed a friend and that I was going to be that friend to him—but this isn’t a good idea. Him touching me, calling me baby, isn’t smart for either of us.
His lips wisp across my jaw, and my hands that I didn’t even realize were touching him turn into talons digging into his skin.
“Ev,” I breathe as his hips press into mine, and as I feel his hardness against my belly, wetness surges between my legs, and I fight the moan I feel in my throat.
“Fuck, I miss that.” His hand moves from the wall above me and his fingers thread through the hair at the back of my head. When his fist tightens against my scalp, I let the moan I was holding in loose. “Beautiful,” he mutters, and then his teeth are on my lips, nipping hard.
I gasp, and his tongue slides into my mouth, tangling with mine. His taste explodes on my taste buds and I lose myself in the kiss, giving as good as I get, nipping his bottom lip then soothing it with my tongue as my hands roam up his arms and into his hair. Forcing my head to the side, he kisses me deeper, taking more of me. That’s when I feel it happen—I feel myself crumble into a billion pieces in his hold and allow myself to do nothing, nothing but just feel him, his hands, his mouth on me.
Crying into his mouth, he yanks me away from the wall and starts moving us across the room. The backs of my knees hit the bed and I go down. His hand never leaves my hair, and his mouth never leaves mine as he shifts me higher onto the bed.
When his mouth finally does leave mine, I don’t even have a second to plea for him to come back. His warm breath trails along my neck, and I memorize the way his beard feels against my skin and the way his tongue feels against the pulse of my neck. His hand travels up and curves around my ribs, close to my breast, and then his thumb sweeps over my nipple, causing my legs to lift and wrap around his hips.
When his hand drags down the top of my dress and bra, I lift my head to watch his mouth lower over my nipple. The first tug from his mouth has me coming out of my skin. His hand in my hair tightens then moves to cup my other breast over my dress. I’m drenched as his weight presses into me, his mouth devours my breast, and his beard drags roughly against my skin. I’m close—so close I know I’m going to come from just this. Shifting to the side, his hand at my breast travels down, and I feel the cotton of my dress slide up my thigh as his fingers trail up higher until their warmth is close to my core.
“Ev,” I breathe, running my fingers through his hair as his fingers slide over my panties.
“Soaked through,” he grunts, releasing my nipple, trailing his lips back up and taking my mouth again. My hips lift, my hands moving to hold on to his biceps as he pushes my panties to the side and his fingers circle my clit. That’s all I need. My head falls back and an orgasm washes over me, lighting everything up with its intensity. I float off to outer space, completely lost in its vastness. Coming slowly back to my body, I feel my dress roughly pulled off before I’m moved again. My head hits the pillow, my panties ripped down my legs.
Watching him tear open a condom, I whisper, “Evan.”
When his eyes lock on mine, I see something familiar looking back at me, something I can’t even begin to understand, something damaged and raw, and it has my legs lifting to wrap around his hips and my arms sliding around his back, wanting to hold him. At my touch, his jaw locks and his forehead drops to mine, pushing into me. My breath leaves on a whoosh and my eyes slide closed. He’s so big—not just long, but thick—and it’s been so long that the stretch of pain I felt the first time comes rushing back.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs.
My eyes open, and I watch as he watches where we are connected. “Oh, God,” I whisper, dragging my nails up his back.
“Look at me, June,” he demands roughly, and my eyes I didn’t realize were closed slide open and lock on his as he slides in and out of me slowly, so slowly I feel every inch of him, every single centimeter, as he possesses me. “I could die right here, right fucking here, and know I felt heaven at least once,” he snarls as his nostrils flare.
Feeling tears begin to gather in my eyes, I lift my head, bury my face in the crook of his neck, and wrap myself around him. My orgasm hits me suddenly, stealing the air from my lungs and my heart from my body. Filling me one last time, he plants himself deep inside me and groans against my neck as his arms wrap around my back, holding on to me so tight it’s hard to breathe. So tight, it makes me feel as if he is trying to fuse us together.
A loud sob rips from my throat, and he rolls us to our sides and rubs his hand over my back, talking softly as I cry into his chest.
Chapter 5
Evan
Pulling the blanket up over us from the end of the bed, I hold June against me, feeling each one of her tears soak into my skin. It kills me that she’s crying. I hate even more that I’m the reason for her tears. I shouldn’t have taken her. I should have done things differently, taken my time with her, slowly built back what we once had. But when I saw the look in her eyes from across the room, the same look that was in her eyes the other day when I was on my bike, I couldn’t stop myself.
Hearing her sobs die down, I jerk back my chin and notice her eyes are closed and her body has gone soft. Pulling away, I go to the bathroom and take care of the condom, wash my hands and face, and then go back to her and pull her right back into my arms. Her words from last night have been playing through my head since the moment she hightailed it away from me. Her telling me I was always good enough for her really hit home.
When I left last night, I went for a ride to give myself some time to think. By the time I got back, I knew one thing for sure—I needed to find a way to get her back, to get us back to what we once had. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, the reason I fought to live and to get better after I got back stateside.
Pressing my lips to the warm skin of her forehead, I rest them there. I know I’m going to have a battle on my hands. I hurt her, I know I did. I also know it’s going to take a lot for her to trust me. She’s strong, and stubborn as hell, but I’m banking on the fact that she feels the same pull I do, like I can only breathe right when we’re together. My men and I used to joke that you never appreciate the beauty of what’s under your own feet until you’re walking through a minefield. This thing between us is a minefield of a different kind. Between our history and what I did to her, I’m going to be working hard to make sure we get through to the other side intact.
Lying there, I soak in the feeling of her in my arms, the same thing I did last night while she slept. I missed her so goddamn much—not just her body, but her smell, her laugh, and the way she looks at me like I hold the key to heaven and have personally granted her access through the gate. I’m not stupid enough to think I can sleep with her once and be back to where we were before. I know I’m going to have to work at proving myself to her. I’m gonna have to prove that with me is the best place for her.
I’ve been fighting my feelings for her for so long that now that I’ve let them loose, they are all flooding to the surface at once. My emotions where she’s involved are irrational and extreme at best, causing me to act even more possessive than I used to. I hated it when
she was with that piece of shit in Alabama, but I made my bed and was determined to lie in it, even if I was miserable. I said she deserved better than me, but I can’t do it again. I can’t sit on the sidelines and watch her from a distance. If she fell in love with someone else because I was too fucking scared to take what I wanted, I would hate myself for the rest of my life.
Hearing a light tap, tap, tap on the door, I carefully extract myself from her, slip out of bed, find my jeans on the floor, drag them on, and go to see who’s there, not even bothering with the buttons of my pants.
“Is June in there with you?” July asks quietly as soon as I have the door opened up a crack.
“Yeah.” I nod then lift my chin at Wes, who’s standing behind her.
“Can I see her?” she asks, and I look over my shoulder at the bed.
“She’s asleep.”
“So your saying I can’t see her?” she prompts.
“You can see her when she’s awake.”
“I can see her when she’s awake?” she repeats in disbelief.
“Babe,” Wes mutters from behind her, and her head swings toward him, giving him a glare, then back to me just as fast, the glare still in place.
“If you fuck her over, I’ll cut off your balls and use them as cat toys,” she hisses, and I see Wes flinch behind her as I fight my own, but I don’t respond. I just raise a brow and wait for her to finish. “Just so you know, I think my dad has a feeling something is going on between you two, so you better understand that if you’re with her, you’re with all of us.”
Feeling my jaw clench, I mutter, “Right.”
Her face goes soft and her head tilts to the side as she whispers, “Please take care of her,” and takes off before I can reply.
Closing the door, I kick off my jeans and get back into bed. As soon as I’m settled, June burrows her way into my chest and whispers, “Ev.”
“I’m here, beautiful,” I tell her, kissing her forehead.
“Hmm…” she breathes, wrapping her arm around my waist, so I bury my face in her hair and breathe her in, listening to her sleep.
“Are you going to eat, or are you going to pout and stare at your breakfast?” I ask, feeling my lips twitch as I watch June debate with herself across from me.
When she woke up in my arms, she immediately tried to get away, but figuring I needed to put my plan into action sooner rather than later, I didn’t let her go far. I pinned her to the bed and kissed her until she was panting. It took everything in me not to slide right back into the heaven I knew she held between her legs. The only thing that stopped me was knowing the walls she built between us wouldn’t be coming down if I did that, if I used her own body against her, she’d resent me.
So instead, I kissed her neck and rolled off her, pulling her along with me to the bathroom, where I pushed her into the shower ahead of me then got in with her. She was a hissing cat throughout the whole shower, but I wasn’t going to let her out of my sight, not even for a moment. It may have been awhile since we were together, but knowing her, she would have taken off the first chance she got and disappeared. After we got out of the shower and got dressed, I confiscated her key and drove us in her car to the diner down the street from her house.
“I’m going to eat, because it’s stuffed French toast, but I’m not going to enjoy it,” she mutters under her breath, and I throw my head back and laugh. At the noise, her head flies up and her face softens, making my heart clench.
“I haven’t seen you laugh in a long time,” she whispers, studying me from across the table.
Her serious tone sets a pause to my humor. “Tell me about your new job. Are you excited?” I change the subject before taking a bite of my omelet.
“Yes, well, I’m not excited to work the whole summer, but I’m excited to start my career and get settled,” she says to her plate, and I nudge her foot under the table, urging her to give me her eyes.
“I’m proud of you. I know how important graduating was to you, and I know how excited you were to start teaching.”
Her eyes stay locked on mine, and I see the wheels in her head turning as she asks softly, “What’s going on?”
“We’re having breakfast,” I point out, and her eyes narrow.
“You… you…” She throws her hands up in the air. “And then…then I wake up in bed with you…and we…we had sex!” she shouts at the end, sending her eyes flying around the restaurant.
“Baby, calm down.”
“No, no way.” She leans across the table, pointing her fork at me.
Letting out an aggravated breath, I feel my nostrils flare as my eyes roam over her. “Do you know what it’s like to stand in front of something you want, but know you shouldn’t have, to wish you had the ability to turn off your feelings so life for the both of you would be easier?” I ask, and she flinches like I struck her. “No, beautiful, not for the reason you think. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, the one good thing I had in my life.”
“Until you left me,” she says quietly, and a sharp pain shoots through my chest.
“I didn’t want to get you dirty,” I tell her softly, honestly.
“What?” she whispers, but I see the tears in her eyes about to spill over. I don’t want her to cry. Her tears fucking kill me every time.
“Let’s talk about that another time,” I suggest gently.
“Ev—”
“Baby, please, let’s just have breakfast,”
“I don’t know?” She closes her eyes. Reaching across the table, I take her hand and bring it to my mouth, and her eyes open as my lips touch her skin.
“One day, I’ll explain everything.”
“I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this with you.” She swallows, looking conflicted. Even with the struggle she’s feeling, she’s not telling me to fuck off.
“One day at a time. I’ve been fighting this, and I can’t fight it anymore. I miss you. I miss us.”
“Please don’t do this.” Her chin wobbles, and I kiss her fingers again.
“Just breakfast today, this moment today. We’ll think about tomorrow when it gets here.” Watching tears fill her eyes again, I stand and move around to sit next to her then wrap my arm around her shoulders to hold her. “I hate when you cry.”
“I don’t like it much either,” she concedes, sounding miserable, and I smile at her tone.
“Why are you smiling?” She frowns, tilting her head back to look at me.
Leaning in, I whisper into her ear the truth—or part of it. “This morning, I took a trip to heaven. Not too much could piss me off right now.”
“You didn’t just say that.”
“I did.” I kiss her nose then grab my plate from across the table and set it in front of me. “Eat,” I tell her, gaining an eye roll, but she starts to eat and doesn’t pull away.
“What are your plans for the day?” I ask halfway through my omelet.
“I need to run some errands. What are you doing?”
“I need to drive up to Nashville for Jax. I’ll be back around five. Do you want to have dinner?”
“Dinner?” she repeats, looking like she’s never heard of it before.
“Yeah, dinner.” I lean in, licking off a speck of powdered sugar from the side of her mouth.
Clearing her throat when I lean back, she mutters, “Dinner…uh…sounds good.”
“Good, I’ll be by your place around five.”
“Okay,” she agrees, and her eyes drop to my mouth, so I give her what she wants, only this time when I’m finished, her hands are woven into my shirt, holding me closer giving me hope.
*
“Sorry, man.”
“It’s not your fault she’s a fucking bitch,” Julian says, tucking the pictures of his wife I just had the unfortunate job of showing him back into the envelope. He places them in the inside pocket of his suit jacket as I pick my coffee up off the table. “If this goes to court and I need more, can I c
ount on you guys to get me what I need?”
“I’m sure we can work something out.” I detest this part of the job. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, worse than telling someone the person they chose to share their life with isn’t who they thought they were.
“Good, my boy needs better than this shit.” He taps the front of his jacket, where the pictures are. “I know I’m gonna have a war on my hands when I ask for a divorce, and I don’t want that bitch to get anything.”
“Let us know what you need.” I pull out my personal business card and slide it across the table to him. “If something comes up and you can’t reach anyone at the office, use that,” I say, standing and taking my coffee with me.
“Thanks,” he mutters, picking up his coffee and turning his head to look out the window. Pushing the door open and walking out of the restaurant, I head toward my bike and pull my cell out to look at the time. Shoving my cell back in my pocket, I throw one leg over my bike, back out of the space, and head for the office.
“You do the drop-off to Julian?” Jax asks as soon as I step into his office and close the door behind me.
“Yep,” I reply, taking a seat across from him.
“How’d he take the news?”
“He asked if he needed more for court, if we could help him out. I told him we could.”
“He thinks he’ll need more than what you got?” He frowns.
“Not sure. Dude has money, but he’s been married for years. I doubt he has a pre-nup, and he sounded like he wanted full custody of his boy. My guess is he’s gonna hold on to this and see what his lawyer has to say before he makes his play.”
“Christ, I can’t imagine having to sleep next to the woman I knew was fucking around on me, so I could get my kid.” Jax shakes his head and I do the same. “I think we can lay off June’s place. There hasn’t even been chatter about her, and I doubt there will be.”