“Breathe. I’m here. Stay still. I won’t leave you.” His hands traveled the tops of her feet and the front of her shins, over her knees and her inner thighs, where he stuck two fingers to test the pressure of the ropes. Then his fingers followed the rope on her belly, stopping at her chest to twist her nipples. Ronin fit his palm over her neck as his other hand twined in her hair, pulling her head back so he could ravage her mouth.
The friction and pressure from the ropes was a constant throb. Ronin’s kiss, packed with pride, gratitude, lust, and need turned the pain into pleasure.
Amery reveled in that moment, when Ronin’s satisfaction surrounded her, flowed over her as warm as a summer breeze.
“My beautiful Amery,” he breathed against her lips. “I need you to see yourself.”
Ronin slipped off the bandanna.
She blinked against the sudden light. She first noticed the chest harness crisscrossing above and below her breasts, then the double wrap of rope around her rib cage, which changed into a thick section of braided rope snug against her belly. The tight binds on her thighs were attached to pulleys above her head. The object she was secured to by the ropes was a wooden X.
He was in front of her, stroking her cheek. “If I were to take a picture of you, I’d name it: Goddess—Bound Open.”
“Ronin.”
He lowered to his knees.
Without another word, he worshipped her with his mouth and hands until she cried out and the climax swamped her. Then he shed his clothes and fucked her. Those rough and talented hands on her ass, his teeth on her nipples, his body driving into hers with heat and passion.
After he was spent, he murmured, “A better title is: Goddess—Bound Open. Goddess Mine.”
Amery shook herself out of the memory and returned to the living room. Even the flashbacks of the times she’d been bound by that sexy man made her knees weak, made her body heat, made her want him. Although she’d enjoyed that intense encounter, she still hadn’t been convinced she could do a public demo. Her reluctance had fueled her fears, and those fears slipped in and distorted her dreams. During their weeks apart, she’d almost convinced herself she couldn’t be with Ronin because she couldn’t give him what he needed.
My, how things had changed. Maybe it made her needy, but she kind of liked that the infallible Ronin Black needed her right back.
“Morning, gorgeous.”
She spun around to see a bare-chested Ronin leaning against the wall. She’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t heard his approach. “Good morning. I’d ask how you’re feeling, but the pinched look on your face pretty much gives it away.”
The man didn’t blink, but leveled her with his tough sensei stare.
Undeterred by it, she said, “I read the discharge papers. You’re supposed to stay off of that knee, and you need to wear the brace all the time except during therapy.”
He shuffled forward. “That’s one doctor’s opinion. I read online that other doctors advocate the more you work a sprained limb, the quicker the recovery time.”
“I call bullshit on that. I know you weren’t booting up your computer and checking medical facts last night. You were passed out.”
“I’m curious as to why there’s a blanket and pillow on the couch.”
“Because that’s where I slept.”
His dark eyes pierced hers. “You were supposed to be in my bed,” he said with a dangerous edge to his voice.
“We were supposed to talk, and until that happens between us, there’s no chance anything else will.” That blank mask covered Ronin’s face, reminding Amery of her dream last night, and she suppressed a shudder.
“Fine. We’ll talk now.”
Ronin Black was back to being bossy and terse—big surprise.
When he eased himself onto the couch, she sat across from him.
“I don’t know where to start.”
Don’t fall for his helpless act. “From the beginning. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“About my family connections?”
She wouldn’t put up with him hedging or answering her questions with another question. “About your status as a billionaire.”
“I’m not a billionaire.”
Amery looked at him suspiciously. “So you’re not an heir to the Okada Food conglomerate in Japan?”
“I am, but I’m not.”
“Well, that cleared things up a fuck ton. Thank you.” She stood and started toward the elevator. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what? Give me a second to get my head on straight?”
She whirled around and faced him. “We were together for months prior to the breakup. So you’ve had plenty of time to devise a way to tell me, so it’s not like I’m asking for something you aren’t prepared for.”
He played the silent card.
“Look, you don’t need me here. You didn’t want me here in the first place, and I pushed my way in, so it’s best if I leave.”
Ronin lifted his head and looked at her. “Don’t go.”
“Give me a reason why I should stay.”
Very carefully, he pushed up from the couch and stepped into the path between her and the elevator. Curling his hand around the nape of her neck, he pulled her in, bringing her mouth to his for far too chaste a kiss. Then he rested his cheek to her temple. “Is that reason enough?”
“Ronin—”
“Look at me. I’m covered in sweat just from walking to the damn couch. Part of the reason I ignored medical advice and left the hospital when you weren’t there? I hate that you’re seeing me like this . . . like a fucking invalid. I’d rather take another beating than let you see me, even briefly, in a goddamn wheelchair.” He broke eye contact.
Amery grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. “Don’t. I get you’re injured. But you need to understand that I won’t let you use it as an excuse; nor will I stick around if you keep avoiding the issues between us.”
“I get that now. And I’ll tell you everything—I will answer every single question you throw at me with complete honesty from here on out, but can we please sit down during this discussion?”
Then she felt like an ass. The man was wounded. “Pick a spot because we’ll be there for a while.”
He hobbled back to the couch.
After she sat next to him, she gave him a pointed look. “Start talking, billionaire baby.”
He sighed. “Contrary to what my sister told you, I’m not a billionaire. The Okada empire is worth billions, but I’m not directly involved in it.”
“Except for suggesting Okada use my company for a prime design gig.”
“After you told me you were struggling financially, I tried to help you out because I know you’re talented—not because we were lovers. But in my defense, I never knew Maggie Arnold followed through and contacted you.”
“If she had, then you would’ve told me the truth?”
“Yes. But Shiori wields the corporate power. If she told Maggie to keep me out of the loop, she would. Why didn’t you say anything to me when you were contacted?”
Oh, hell no. She was not taking the blame for this. “I signed a ton of nondisclosures. But that’s not the point.” She jabbed her finger at him. “You did nothing when I confronted you with the truth except treat me with disdain. There wasn’t a single sign of the man”—I’d fallen in love with—“I knew when I showed up to talk to you. You’d never treated me like that, Ronin. It hurt. It scared me, and I lashed out.”
“But you’re not apologizing for your behavior,” he said curtly.
“At the time, I wasn’t sorry. Because you showed all the emotion of a goddamn parking meter.” She inhaled and exhaled. “That’s why I left. If you’d acted like you cared at all—”
“Five minutes after you ran out, I hurled a chair through the window. I’d gotten a good start on destroying the conference room when Knox stopped me.”
Amery’s mouth dropped open.
Ronin leaned forward slightly. “You think
I’m scary when I’m trying to maintain control? Wrong. I’m scary when I lose it.”
Holy. Shit.
“After you walked out? I. Lost. My. Fucking. Mind. Knox dosed me with an entire bottle of rum because passed-out drunk was the only way he could keep me from going after you. And trust me; you didn’t want to deal with me in that state.”
“I’m not being trite when I say thank you for telling me,” she said softly. “I’m sorry for the shit I spewed. Some of what I said is a blur.”
“What stung the most was your accusation that I’m a billionaire who plays at running a dojo.” His hands clenched and unclenched. “Direct fucking hit to the one thing in my life I’m most proud of. Everything I’ve built? I’ve earned. Every drop of blood I lost fighting, every sketchy thing I did to make a buck went into building this business. The only exception?” He gestured to the room. “My living space.”
“Your grandfather offered to pay for it?”
Ronin shook his head. “He’d set up several trusts to be paid at various milestones. I never touched a penny until the year I turned thirty-two. I’d been living in an office on the third floor for years—I didn’t need more than a futon, a TV, and a hot plate.”
Hearing him describing how he lived and looking around this place . . . It was hard to reconcile those two images and maybe even those two men.
“I’d convinced myself there was no shame in living a minimalist life. But something . . . clicked right around that birthday, and I decided I deserved to use some of the cash to create a living space with all the amenities. As soon as I withdrew money to pay the architect, I got a call from my grandfather.”
“What did he expect from you?”
“It’s not important now. But at the time? I had so much resentment toward him. He disrupted my business to attend to his, and he meddled in my personal life.” He shoved his hand through his hair. “He manipulates Shiori with this same shit. She’s been trying to prove herself worthy of taking over since she started working in the Okada offices at age twelve. She’ll follow any instructions he gives her.”
“Still?”
“She’s been in Colorado for more than seven weeks. I don’t know if she has an agenda—besides fucking up things between us.” Ronin’s eyes bored into hers. “That’s not me refusing to take responsibility for not telling you about my familial ties, but what Shiori freely admitted to me.” He reached for her hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about any of this. But being an heir isn’t something I’m proud of because I didn’t earn it. I hate that you questioned your own judgment because of me. I know what that feels like.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“I’d really like to have you back in my life, because it’s been empty without you in it.” Ronin stroked her cheek. “I missed you.”
“So you’ve said.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t believe me?”
“I think that you actually showing me this sweet side of you is the result of your concussion.”
“I’d turn you over my knee for that smart-ass comment, but it hurts too fucking much.”
“Speaking of . . . You are putting on that brace as soon as we’re done talking,” she warned him.
“When did you become such a hardass?”
“When you asked me to take care of you. That entails more than fluffing your pillows and administering your meds.”
“Yes, ma’am. So now it’s your turn to talk about fun family stuff.” He blinked at her with confusion. “I know in the past I’ve been lax about remembering details of things you’ve told me, but I’m positive you never mentioned you were planning a trip back to North Dakota.”
Amery’s cheeks heated. “I needed to get away. And since money is tight—not that you’d understand what that’s like—I couldn’t jet off to a tropical island for a few days. I ended up in my car, heading north. Ironically enough, my father’s thirty-fifth anniversary as an ordained minister was that weekend.” She twisted her fingers. “I wasn’t going to go. In fact, I’d told them I wouldn’t be attending. Then all that happened with us, and I couldn’t leave town fast enough.” She looked away. “Pathetic, huh? That the only place I had to go was the last place I ever wanted to be.”
“Jesus, Amery. How—”
“I’m glad I went if for no other reason than my brother, Aiden, got seventy-two hours’ leave from the army and surprised our parents, which worked out for me because I didn’t spend much one-on-one time with Mom or Dad. They were pleased that I showed up more for how it looked to my father’s congregation and the community than from joy at seeing me. So it was a miserable trip with the exception of spending time with Aiden.”
“Baby. I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is.”
After an uncomfortable moment, Ronin asked, “Are we done talking about this?”
“For now. But I reserve the right to ask other questions as they occur to me.”
“Anything, anytime. From here on out, I’m an open book for you, Amery.”
As much as she wanted to believe him, unless he proved that statement true, he was just paying lip service to what she wanted. “Good. But for now, you need to get back in bed. I’ll grab the knee brace.”
He slowly rose to his feet but still had to slap a hand on the wall to keep his balance as he started down the hallway.
His knee buckled, and Amery made it to his side before he hit the floor. “Sweetheart, you need to remember I’m here to help you.”
“God, I missed hearing you call me that.” Breathing hard, he sagged against the wall.
“Are you okay?”
“No. I’m exhausted. Feels like I got hit by a truck while running a marathon. But that’s not the worst part.”
Amery waited as his eyes roamed over her face.
“The worst part is, after six goddamn weeks without you, I can’t even kiss you like I want to.”
Maybe it was reckless, ignoring the warnings to take it slow, but she closed the gap between them and slid her hands up his chest to cup his jaw. Meeting his gaze, she said, “Then how about if I kiss you?”
Those soulful brown eyes watched her with hunger and relief.
She swept gentle kisses across his upper lip, placing an extra-soft kiss on the stitches. Then she moved to the corners of his mouth and his lower lip, dipping her tongue inside that pouty lower swell. Keeping their eyes locked, she pressed her lips to his fully, letting the moment linger.
Watching his beautiful banged-up face, she knew her tenderness soothed more than just his bruised mouth. “Let’s get you tucked in.”
• • •
WHILE Ronin was resting, she raced to her loft and showered. In her overnight bag, she packed clothes, her laptop, a few client files, and her e-book reader.
At Target, she bought the bare necessities for groceries. Just because Ronin hadn’t shown much of an appetite didn’t mean it wouldn’t suddenly appear. She picked up a bottle of over-the-counter painkillers, an extra ACE bandage, and two more ice packs. In the clearance section, she noticed a single wooden crutch. That would allow him to keep weight off his knee. She threw it and a pair of foam pads in the cart.
The universe smiled on her when she found a parking space close to the dojo. Trying to get all the bags carried to the front door in one load made for slow going.
She heard angry footsteps and looked up to see Knox bearing down on her.
“Goddammit, Amery, are you really too stubborn to ask for help?”
“I didn’t know you were at the dojo today or I would’ve asked.”
He took all the bags except her suitcase and the crutch. He didn’t speak until they were in the elevator. “How is he doing?”
“He’s in pain. And tired. Cranky. Frustrated with himself.”
“I can’t fucking believe he locked the damn elevator.”
“Yes, you can. He’s got way too much pride. Couple that with a head injury . . .”
Knox sighed. “Thank you for
being there for him. I hope it means you’re working things out.”
“We’re trying.”
They switched elevators. The doors opened, and she immediately