“Tell me,” he whispered the command and his breath moved the curls around my face because he was so close.
“It’s just...I have this theory.”
I told him the whole bit. About God watching over me, about how every person who ever tries to protect me dies or leaves. I went down the line of precession of deaths and abandonment’s to further my point. Then, as much as it pained me, I had to tell him. I explained that we should remain friends. Though I had no idea how he really felt about me, but it was for the best because I didn’t want him to die too. And the more I talked, the crazier I sounded, I knew.
He stared at me with contemplation and weariness for a bit. Like he wasn’t sure how to handle me. Then he spoke.
“Lillian, you are not to blame for anyone’s death. There is a God in the universe, yes, but he isn’t out to watch you play musical chairs with all your boyfriends and family members, ok? You’ve just had a run of bad luck and bad timing. And...look, I know that our short time together hasn’t been glamorous. It’s been very strained and emotional but despite that, I love spending time with you. I really like you, a lot. A lot more than I ever have anybody else in just a couple weeks time.” He moved a little closer and kissed the end of my nose so sweetly my breath caught. “Don’t push me away or forbid me to see you before we even really have a chance to see if this can work or not. Not because you’re scared for me. Please. I want nothing more right now than to get to know you even more.”
It took me a minute to catch my breath. When I did I blinked and tried to find words. He watched my lips fighting breath in and out and then moved in to kiss me. I couldn’t let him.
“Please, don’t,” I said breathlessly. “It’s hard enough already, Cain. Look, if I lost you too, after all this...”
“You can’t just not live because you’re worried you’ll lose people. If that’s the case why would you get close to anyone? Huh?”
“It’s different. There’s a pattern-”
“Screw the pattern, Lillian. I’m not gonna die because I’m interested in you. God is not out to get me or you. There is no agenda in the universe to curse Lillian. Bad things just happen sometimes and if you let it run you, you’ll have nothing in the end.”
“I know, Cain, ok. I know it’s silly and stupid.” I wanted to cry but his hands were still on me and I couldn’t do it. Not now. “But I would be pretty selfish if I just made the decision to be with you, knowing what I know, and then something happened to you. I’d never forgive myself.”
“Then I’ll make the decision for you.”
He pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine and though it devastated my senses to do it, I pulled back quickly.
“Cain! Please! I can’t even think with your hands on me,” I gasped, which I ultimately knew then, that was a mistake.
One hand traveled to the back of my neck, his control tactic, I knew.
“Look. If you’re not ready or don’t want me, that’s one thing. But being scared, especially for me, is another. If your not ready...stop me and I won’t try again. I promise.”
My brain told me to rebel, to push him away for his own good, but my body was being disobedient. He waited just a few seconds, his blue green eyes, like grass in the sea, looking straight into mine. Then he pulled me closer and I closed my eyes in blind anticipation. Knowing he wouldn’t try again made me want to kiss him this time. Made me realize that I did want him to, despite my protests.
Our lips met gently. He eased me into a slow sweet easy kiss. I couldn’t take it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and heard a low grunt or mutter but didn’t hear the words as he opened my mouth with his and kissed me deeper. He continued to kiss me until I was witless. There was no frisky roaming hands, no tugging on my clothes, no ploys to reach for private skin. Just kissing. Intense, vital to life kissing. It was extremely nice and exactly what I needed. And wanted.
My heart beat a mile a minute. His heart did also against my chest, out of sync with my own making me feel like mine was beating triple time. My breathing was terrifyingly loud but I couldn’t seem to stop.
Then we heard someone shuffle in and stop, speaking quickly.
“Oh...sorry,” a low easy voice said.
It was Merrick, stopped just in the doorway. We both pulled back and I tried to get up from the bed, fleeing in embarrassment, but Cain held me in place by a hand on my leg.
“It’s ok, Merrick.” Cain cleared his throat. “Did you get the drain fixed in the hall bathroom?”
“Yeah. Pap’s pretty handy actually, with stuff like that,” Merrick said and I could tell he was trying not to stare and it even looked like he was holding in a laugh.
“Good. I can’t do plumbing but I figured Pap could. He’s kind of a jack of all trades.”
“He is. Thanks. I think he liked being useful. I only heard one negative thing from his mouth the whole time. And that was that you were being lazy and weren’t helping us. Though...now I see why.” He smiled clearly amused. “Hi, Lillian.”
“Hey, Merrick. We stole cookies.”
I just blurted it out, anything to blurt out to get him to stop smiling at me like that. No doubt Cain and Merrick would converse and plunder of the details later anyway.
“Lillian! He’s the enemy!” Cain said incredulously.
“What?”
“He’s the cookie makers’ husband,” he stage whispered extra loudly.
“Oh! I see. Well, we could always bribe him. With cookies.”
“He won’t be bought. I’ve tried.” Cain smiled at me and then turned to Merrick. “Don’t betray us and tell the little wife.”
“She’s little but she’s vicious. You know this. You are putting me in a very difficult position,” Merrick said with arms crossing and a mock shake of disappointment to his head.
I stared puzzled. I was mesmerized at his ability and want to joke and goof off. None of the other Keepers I’d seen had ever done that. I didn’t even know they could. It was fun to watch. No wonder Sherry and Cain loved Merrick so much. He was so...human.
“Oh. I have no doubt you can take little ol’ Sherry.”
“For your sake, I won’t tell her you said that.”
We all laughed.
“Aren’t you late for work, slacker?” Merrick asked, looking at his watch.
“Nah. They cut my hours this week since we only have a few days left. Hardly anybody comes in the shop anymore anyway. It’s a sad day when the world can live without coffee.”
“True. Do you think you can swipe some creamer on your way home? Tell your boss you’ll take his supply off his hands?”
“Yeah. Actually, I already talked to him about it. He said I could take the creamer and coffee grounds. He hasn’t placed an order for more in a long time. Not much left anyway.”
“Great, thanks. Sherry will flip to have real creamer in the house.”
“Yep. No problem.”
“Alright. I’m sorry I interrupted,” Merrick said and smirked, shooting a quick glance at me. “I’ll, uh, let you get back to it.”
Cain picked up a throw pillow, tossing it at him and Merrick laughed as he dodged it and left.
“Sorry. He’s just playing around,” Cain explained.
“I know. I can’t believe how...”
“Normal? How normal he is?”
“Yeah. I’ve never seen a Keeper act so human like that before. I mean, they do act human, but not joking and laughing like that. They are always so serious.”
“Danny and Sherry really brought him, really all the Keepers here, out of their shells by treating them like humans. Most people don’t. You treat them like they are aliens just here to help us and that’s what they’ll act like. Ryan, I know you’ve talked to Ryan some but he can be such a hoot. And Jeff. He’s just crazy. Don’t get him started and you’ll be fine. And Merrick. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. It’s strange.”
“Why strange?”
“Because, I always had friends, but they weren?
??t real. None of it was real. They’d stab me in the back for a hot girl in a second. But Merrick. He’s not even from this planet, but I know I can trust him and he’s always got my back. I can joke with him and he knows it. I can fight Lighters with him and know I have nothing to worry about.”
I wonder if that’s why he refused to give in to his feelings for Sherry. Because it wouldn’t be fair to Merrick.
“Well, whatever it is about him, it’s nice. I always wondered what kind of relationship Sherry could have with a Keeper.”
“Yeah. They are really awesome together.”
I looked at him to see if he was upset. Or maybe wistful thinking about Sherry with Merrick. He wasn’t. He was looking at me with amusement and something else. Something nice.
“Well that’s great for them.”
“So...are we good? I’m sorry if I was pushy earlier,” he asked and half smiled not looking a bit sorry.
“Yeah, we’re good. Believe me, if I hadn’t wanted you to, I would have stopped you.”
“So, you admit you wanted me to?” he said and leaned forward a little bit to see my face, smiling. I smiled too and tucked my hair behind my ear and then he reached up to trace the path I took to do it. “I love it when you do that.”
“Why?” I asked but felt my lips curving up again.
“Because it tells me what you won’t. That you’re shy and loveable and unsure about yourself. Though I’m not sure why you’re unsure, I’ve kissed you three times now. That should tell you something about how I feel about you.”
“So, you get all that from me pushing my hair around?” I teased, loving that I could tease him and he completely got it.
“Yep.”
Oh, I loved his cockiness. His playfulness. His eagerness.
“Hmm.”
“Ok.” He slapped his palms down on his legs. “I really do have to go to work now, or I will be late.”
“Well, have a good night. And don’t forget Sherry’s creamer.”
He got up and pulled me from the bed by my hands, scooting me to the edge then lifting me to stand very close in front of him. He grabbed my hands at our sides.
“You’re not still worried about that are you?” he asked softly and I knew exactly what he was talking about.
About his feelings for Sherry.
“Not really.”
“Not really or not at all.”
“Not really,” I answered truthfully.
He sighed.
“Lillian, you’ve got to get some self worth. Go look in a mirror. Go watch the other guys in the bunker watch you. Go listen to what everyone says about how sweet you are. You have no idea how great you are.” He nuzzled my nose with his. “I think you could make me forget just about anything. I’m really enjoying this,” he said softly, dragging out each word slowly like they were important.
He does the most extraordinary things. Sweet one minute, cocky the next, teasing then kissing then talking about Keepers then rubbing noses? It’s fascinating.
“I am too. I just don’t want you to think that I would think that you’d be over her in a week, ya know. I can be realistic. Patient. In fact, I still feel confused about Mitchell myself so.”
“You do?”
“Yes.” Seeing his frown I hurried to explain. “No, not like that. I just still really feel bad about, ya know, him thinking like he did. It’s scares me a little bit. I did like him but...” I steeled my courage, “not the same as I feel for you. Not even close.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about Sherry anymore,” he whispered firmly.
He bent down and kissed me again, his hands immediately came up to my face. We kissed for only a moment and then he reluctantly released me, keeping his face close.
“I really do have to go.”
“I know. Go,” I said and laughed at his pained expression. “I’ll be here when you get home.”
He laughed too, which was my intention. Where exactly would I go?
“I’ll come check on you when I get home...but I’m not so sure it’s a good idea for me to sleep in your room anymore,” he said looking pensive but happy and I smiled up at him.
“Why? Worried about my self control?” I teased.
“Nuhuh. I’m worried about mine.”
He pressed one last quick soft kiss to my stunned upturned lips and turned to go, smiling smugly.
I walk into the kitchen in a daze to start supper wondering how in the world I could have such an array of feelings for someone after such a short time.
Easy Does It
Chapter 28 - Merrick
“Good of you to join us, slow poke,” Sherry goaded as I walked in, well after everyone else had started the training lessons.
She was sparring with Miguel. Well I wouldn’t actually call it sparring. More like dodging because Sherry refuses to take a hit, insistent that she doesn’t want to hurt anyone. No one has the heart to tell her she couldn’t actually hurt one of us, even if she wanted to.
“I was talking to Cain...and Lillian.”
“Really. Well, I’m sure Miguel is tired of doing basics with me when there are plenty of others who need his help. So I’m glad you’re here.” She smiled and walked over to me and pulled me down to kiss me. “Now, are you ready to hurt?”
I laughed and shook my head at her.
“Sure. Let’s go over here.” We walk over and I try to explain as I go. “Ok. Now. When someone is coming at your head with their arm, duck down,” I corrected because she bent down at the waist instead, “no not duck, bad word, squat. Then you punch his groin. See.”
I demonstrated the move.
“Oookay. But for the record, I’m not really thrilled about punching some Lighter’s junk.”
“Junk?”
Her eyes glanced meaningfully down to below to my belt and I got it. I laughed and had to chide her. We’ll never get any work done like this.
“Honey. I need you to focus. Be serious, ok. We’re gonna practice this move. I’m gonna swing at you slow first, then fast. I want you to squat and punch each time, ok? Punch my leg for practice.”
“Ok.”
I admit, it was a little hard for her to squat with a walking cast on, but we still needed to try. We took a stance in front of each other and I swung slow motion. She squatted and punched like I told her to but she hit air, not my thigh.
“What’s the matter?”
“I just want to practice like this. I don’t want to hit you.”
“You won’t hurt me. I want you to know what hitting feels like. You’ll hurt yourself in a real fight if you’ve never hit anything before. Now hit me.”
We went again. She barely tapped me.
“Honey...”
“Merrick.”
“Come on. These sessions are pointless if you’re not gonna try.”
“I am trying! I’ll remember everything like this. I just don’t want to hit you.” I sighed and she came up to me and hugged me around my midsection. “We talked about this. I know I can’t hurt you. I’m not stupid. But I don’t want to hit you. I don’t like how it makes me feel. Please. Let’s just practice.”
I scrub my face with my hands and sigh again.
“Fine. Let’s practice this a few more times, then we’ll practice kicks with the pillows.”
“Ooh. I love the pillows,” she said and smiled, taking her defensive stance again.
I smiled too, rolling my eyes at her and we set off. We practiced that move more and then moved on to kicking practice pillows. Then punching practice pillows. Then she did some maneuvering with getting out of holds with Miguel as I worked with Lily on her gift.
Whoa. That choking thing is no walk in the park. She doesn’t even concentrate. Just thinks of it. Touches you anywhere and instantly, you start to feel it. I’m not sure I want to do that with her again. Besides, she seems to have it down anyway and she was extremely cute asking me if I was ok. Apparently, she can’t stop it. It has to run it’s course.
I t
urned back to watch Sherry. She was working with Ryan and Miguel now. She was trying to knock their feet out from under them. Again, refusing to make any real contact. Then Ryan grabbed her around neck and shoulders. She wiggled and squirmed, tried to turn, tried to jerk away and push at him but to no avail, so she gave up letting her arms go slack to her sides and pouting slightly, all disappointed in herself. Then Ryan whispered something in her ear from behind and tickled her side with his free hand, sending her into a giggling fit.
I laughed and just kept watching. Everyone loved her. Everyone loves each other. Most put their differences aside to be able to coexist, even though it’s not easy. It’s the most human I’ve ever seen people act.
When I came here before during crisis, no matter what decade or century, the humans are always the same. Self centered, reckless and greedy. There are always good ones too, but in a majority of people, that’s the traits that come out in times of trouble. The gift of free will lets them choose to be pitiless and callous. But this group is different. I guess this crisis is different.
Now Miguel and Ryan are coming from both sides with Celeste and Sherry in the middle. Celeste’s gift is all in her mind so she needs just as much physical training as Sherry does. Miguel grabs Sherry’s neck and I wince at the memory of the Lighter in Phillip’s body doing that to her. She slams the inside of his elbow with the heel of her palm hard, like he showed her before. He was testing her and she passed.
That loosened his grip enough for her to twist and duck under his arm and kick him in the back of the knee with her heel from behind, forcing it to buckle. He fell forwards down on the floor and she looked horrified. She ran over and fussed over him, like she actually hurt him.
“Oh! Miguel! I’m so sorry,” she said patting him and turning him over.
“Don’t be, love, I’m fine. That’s what I wanted you to do. And it was awesome.” He saw me walk up behind her. “This is one tough Sheila you got here. She just kicked my arse.”
“I saw.” I helped him up with a hand out. “It was highly entertaining.”
“Miguel, I’m so sorry. See! This is why I don’t like hitting for real!”