I stare at her. These words could have been mine only a few hours ago but now they sound empty. I think she’s trying to convince herself as much as me that she didn’t throw her life away.
Neve leans back, “And we’re not alone because we have made contact with the outside world. This is something that’s not happened in living memory. What’s more, they sympathise with our plight and now have photos of the compound to support them.”
“But who does Alana tell? The government will silence her because they’re clearly keeping knowledge about the compound restricted. They aren’t coming for us, Neve!”
“We don’t need them to come and rescue us,” she replies, emphasising the words don’t and need, like she thinks my anger might have muffled my hearing.
“What?” I ask out of exasperation, not because I want her to keep talking.
“Alana attached a blueprint of the compound that she got from her ex-boyfriend in her email. It details every room in every building, every passageway and every system including the sewage and irrigation which importantly lead underneath the perimeter of the fence.”
I’m speechless for long moments trying to take it all in. My eyes dart from left to right as ideas race though my mind like drag cars. “Wha− Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I stammer. “Why didn’t Redd say when he returned?” I demand, annoyance creeping into my voice.
“Perhaps ‘cause he was feeling how you’re feeling about Jo,” Neve answers in a soft voice. I feel ashamed that I still can’t appreciate the magnitude of Marshall’s death on everyone else just because personally I didn’t like him.
“Okay,” I say, leaning back. “Can I see it?”
“Sorry. Redd only saw it on the computer and jotted down what he could, but there was too much detail. They’re going to break into the library tonight and try to print it off on A3 paper.”
“That won’t work,” I reply curtly, and Neve looks slightly hurt by the directness of my comment. “It won’t work because you need a code to use the printer and the place is alarmed after ten.” I flash a smile at Neve who looks confused because my expression doesn’t match what I’m saying. “We need someone to print it for us, someone inconspicuous who could do it in broad daylight without drawing suspicion or raising alarm.”
“Erm, yes, that sounds great, but who? All we know are gang members and they’ll raise suspicion as soon as they walk into a library because it’s doubtful that many of them can read.”
“But I don’t just know scumbags,” I say with a giggle, before explaining to her about my meeting with Alice and our arrangement.
“So you’re saying you could just go to Lankyan Palace tomorrow with a screwed up piece of paper that has instructions and email login details on, then give her a date and time to drop off the printed blueprints?”
“Jesus, is it Tuesday tomorrow?” I ask rhetorically, not really imploring divine confirmation. “In that case yes. She’ll disguise it and drop it next to the bin; it’s always overflowing anyway and one of us can retrieve it.”
Neve is on her feet and bounds towards a large group of people gathered around the fire. I watch as she talks animatedly to them, without being able to make out what she’s saying. At first I see frowns appear as they look repeatedly over at me and then back to Neve. Lake catches my eye and waves me over and I describe again my trip to the infirmary to the whole group.
I sum up my conclusions like I’m trying to sell them a product. “So I think it’s better to leave the friends we have in place to work silently behind the scenes for our cause, whilst we create a distraction when needs be and orchestrate the whole affair.” I look around at the faces lit by the fire and slowly I begin to see movement. They’re nodding in agreement with me and I see some tentative smiles break across people’s faces. I sigh in relief and Lake winks at me, taking my hand.
***
We spend the night sitting in quiet contemplation, but we spend it together, as a gang, as an army. Lake doesn’t let go of my hand and I don’t want him to. I get a warm feeling inside which fights out the cold when I think about how he knew where to find me, and somehow I think I knew that he would. We have a common purpose but that doesn’t make us the same, so we are bound to get into arguments. What’s important is that our drive to go forward is stronger, and this will always bring us back together. For the first time since I met Lake I don’t want us to be alone together. I’m glad that we’re part of the gang. They’re the only family I have now.
Some members lie down under the tents and try to get a few hours sleep, but Lake and I watch the sunrise. I see the daylight first pierce the sheet of black in the far right-hand corner and then race across the sky like it’s tearing the night down. I listen as birds begin to call out in delight that it’s morning once again, and wonder what it would feel like to soar over the walls like a bird. We speculate about how far away from civilisation we are, before realising that Alana’s ex-boyfriend would know. He drove the food trucks here so he must have come from a nearby town or something. I crawl over to Redd, who’s leaning against the wall that surrounds the roof, somewhere between sleep and a daydream. Touching his shoulder gently is all it takes to rouse him, and tell him my idea. He agrees, but we decide to wait until we have compiled a list of questions before emailing Alana to reduce the risk of our most important contact being discovered.
Sitting back down with Lake I feel my stomach growl deeply and squeeze it with my hands.
“We haven’t got much left, I’m afraid,” Lake says.
“What are we going to do about that?” I ask quietly. “Stealing food didn’t... umm... go so well.”
“I know,” he replies. “I’ve been thinking about it. We’ll be okay once we’ve convinced a few more people to join us because we can just get them to leave us some of their allocated food. It’ll probably be easier to get people to join now since it requires less of a leap to be working with us covertly rather than overtly.”
“I could do with losing a few pounds anyway,” I joke, pulling at the already baggy waistline of my jeans.
He smiles and chucks me under the chin which makes me laugh out aloud. I’m always surprised at the number of things going on in Lake’s mind without his behaviour giving anything away. In the time it takes me to realise there’s a problem he’s usually been thinking about it and come up with a solution. Although I suspect that going without is a solution that Lake and his brother are experienced with, having grown up with an alcoholic father. We watch the fire as it dies down and the sun begins to warm the early morning air.
Neve joins the few of us left sat around the fire, in the same places that we were last night. “Who’s up for collecting wood today?”
“I doubt there’s going to be any,” replies one of the new guys that I spoke to after Marshall got stabbed. “It comes with the food, and then they just chuck it into the wood store for anyone to collect.”
“Still worth a look,” Neve snaps back.
There’s something odd about Neve and the new guy. A sort of familiarity that breeds shortness of temper and an inclination towards saying exactly what you’re thinking without screening it for the benefit of the other person. Ex-lovers, perhaps, or even siblings?
“I’ll come with you,” I say. “I just want to feel like I’m doing something.”
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Redd interrupts. “You’re too high profile. If the officials see you then they’ll take you into custody and we’ll never hear from you again.”
“Shut up,” Neve snaps, cutting Redd off. “She wasn’t asking for your permission and that’s the same for all of us anyway.”
“It’s not worth it,” Redd insists. “Not over wood. With a bit of luck we’ll be off this godforsaken roof shortly.”
“Thank God,” says a female voice from the corner of the roof.
I squint into the shadows where I can just make out Kim sat alone. I can’t imagine how awful it must be to have to stay in the place where your b
oyfriend died. I haven’t asked anyone what they did with the body because I’m not sure I want to know the answer.
“It would make more sense for us to split up and hide out in the houses of people who are sympathetic to our cause. That way, if we are discovered, we won’t all be discovered together,” Redd says, ignoring Kim’s comment.
The story of a young Jewish girl called Ann Frank that we learned about at school is invoked by Redd’s words. She and her family hid in the house of a non-Jewish family who were trying to conceal them and another family from the Nazi’s tyranny.
“I’ll go, okay,” snaps the new guy, standing up and stalking off in the direction of the door.
Neve curls the corner of her lip up in a snarl and wrinkles her nose before turning to look at me with a cheeky smile.
“Who’s he?” I asked in a hushed tone as he pushes open the door.
“Dave? He’s just a massive pain in the ass. His dad’s an official actually, but they haven’t spoken in years. Wherever trouble is, Dave follows in its wake; or does trouble follow Dave?”
“Have you known each other long?” Neve shrugs and avoids the question. My gaze falls on Kim again as I look around the rooftop. She looks a pitiful sight and I have an instinctual urge to rush over and throw my arms around her, but something tells me that it wouldn’t be welcome. “Where’s Star?” I ask, suddenly realising that Kim’s best friend is absent.
Neve pauses for a moment and gazes over the edge of the roof. “She’s gone,” she begins, although I sense that it’s with a heavy heart. Neve is fierce and tough, but she’s also socially perceptive and able to feel what people are going though from their perspective. “Not long after you left. She was addicted to morphine and she couldn’t handle it so she went. We couldn’t stop her. She’s probably with one of the other gangs now,” Neve says, sighing deeply and propping her head on her fist.
Chapter Twenty-One
Other than my brief disappearance, Star is the first person to leave the group and it unsettles me more than I’d have imagined. If others know they can leave without any repercussions from the officials then what’s to stop them all leaving when things get tougher, and I’ll be left to take the fall alone. No, not alone. I know that Lake will stay with me.
I glance with increasing frequency at the door, waiting for Dave to return. She doesn’t say anything but I can feel that Neve’s anxious too, he’s been gone far longer than either of us expected.
***
We busy ourselves in the remaining hours until dark gathered closely together playing cards. The cards belong to a young teenage male affectionately referred to as TJ. He’s something like the second cousin of Lake and Redd, but he bears no family resemblance. His hair is the darkest brown it could be before being called black and he’s shorter than his two cousins. He’s also more introvert and quietly spoken so I have move closer to hear what he’s saying as he explains the rules of the game.
“...And the top hand’s a royal flush,” TJ says, peering into my face to see whether I’m still following what he’s saying.
“Okay, so that’s the one I want, right?” I say in a mocking tone. In truth he lost me ages ago but I don’t want him to have to explain it again. “I’m sure I’ll pick it up as we play.”
I lose almost every hand for the first ten minutes, much to my confusion and everyone else’s delight, but I laugh along with them. It reminds me of when Jo and I used to play games together. When she wasn’t so ill we’d sit outside on the balcony during the warm summer nights and play draughts or backgammon. Whilst we played we we’d talk about what we’d do if we had just one wish. I thought Jo’s would be to get well so she could go to school and live a normal life but it never was. She wished that she lived with her family but said that my mother and I were the next best thing. I always wished that I could leave the compound, even just for one day, so I knew what was out there.
The door flies open, before Dave slams it shut again and leans heavily on the other side, catching his breath. His hair is lank and glistens in the last rays of sunlight, and his clothes are dark where the water has soaked in.
“Oh my god, what’s happened?” Neve cries when she sees him.
“I was ambushed,” he says, making his way over to the fire. “That slimy governor’s kid pointed me out.”
“Jericho?” I ask, feeling a chill come over me.
“What did they do?” asks Neve.
“Grabbed me from behind and dragged me into a nearby alehouse where they taped me to a chair.” We all stare, captivated by the unfolding story. “Jericho said that he knew I’d joined you guys, and wanted the names of everyone involved. When I told him to go screw himself, they dunked me into the ice bath for the first time.”
“That’s torture!” Neve protests, and moves closer to Dave.
“Yeah I think that was the idea.”
“So how did you get away?” asks Lake from behind me.
“It was my dad,” Dave says narrowing his eyes. “Actually it’s probably the kindest thing that he’s ever done for me. Jericho left to fetch his father and when the others were out of the room, he cut my restraints and freed me.”
“Do you think that he’ll get in trouble for letting you go,” I ask but Dave doesn’t reply, instead he stares deep into the fire.
***
As dusk falls the gnawing hunger in the pit of my stomach is replaced by a tight knot of apprehension.
Lake passes me a small but sharp pencil and an empty food bag. “Write the message on this,” he says.
I try to write but the grease residue on the bag prevents the pencil from gripping. Scanning the roof my attention is eventually captured by my mother’s diary at my side. I flick through the pages to find a blank one and pull it out. Writing again, I’m careful to avoid using any names in case the note is discovered by someone else.
“Your help is greatly appreciated,” I write and then stare at it, dissatisfied because it sounds strangely formal. “The most helpful thing you could do would be to log into an email account and print off a map which is attached to an email,” I write before going on to describe the login details. I finish the note by saying, “Please drop the map in the same place, disguised in a cardboard box in twenty-four hours time.” I specify a cardboard box so we know what we’re looking for and because I know that Alice has access to lots of them down in the cellar.
Once I’ve finished I show it to Redd to check his login details and I’m surprised when he doesn’t give the note back to me.
“It’s best if you don’t do it. We need someone more inconspicuous, but you can come and watch from a room nearby to see whether it’s your friend who collects the note,” Redd says.
I watch in annoyance as he passes the note to TJ, who accepts it like they’ve already discussed the arrangement.
“It’s just going to be us four,” Lake says from behind me.
I see Neve’s face darken when she realises that she’s been left out of the recce mission but doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to because she wears her emotions plainly for everyone to see. I like that, it removes the mystery.
Lake takes my hand on his way towards the door and, despite my anxiety about what we’re about to do, my heart races a little harder when I feel his skin on mine. Redd opens the door for us to pass through and we start to pick up the pace as we jog down the stairs and out into the street. Lake leads the way and unusually Redd doesn’t rush ahead, probably because he accepts that Lake’s generally better liked, especially in Narrowmarsh which is where we’re heading.
It’s immediately apparent when we reach Narrowmarsh, like we have crossed an invisible boarder. There are houses instead of apartment blocks and they’re so close together that people string washing lines across the street between them. Groups of men sit huddled tightly together on the street with little else to do but to gamble their wages on games of craps, whilst young scantily clad women hang around hoping to cash in on some of the victors’ suc
cess.
I know where we’re heading. A few months ago these streets would have been as alien to me as if I was walking on the moon, but now I find them familiar, almost comforting, with their winding back alleys able to hide a person at little more than a second’s notice. As we approach the prearranged corner where the drop will take place, Lake pulls sharply to one side. He leads me down a dark alleyway and bangs softly on a closed door. After a few moments silence, just when I was thinking that it might be worth knocking again, a fierce looking middle-aged man opens the door with a girl about my age wearing only negligee and a pair of black stiletto heels. Aghast, I turn to Lake, who looks unfazed, like he was expecting this.
“Room for an hour?” Lake asks the man.
The man glowers at me whilst still talking to Lake. “You want the girl?” he asks, and she pouts her lips seductively over my head at the two boys.
“No thanks,” Lake replies. “Just the room. One at the front of the building please.”
Lake’s being awfully polite so I suspect they’ve met previously and that the man’s personality suits his face.
The man rolls his eyes and then walks in without saying another word. I presume that we should follow him, but it could just as easily mean get lost so we walk slowly in the direction he walked. We follow the man as he takes a left turn down one of the landings which leads us back towards the front of the house and kicks open the first door that we reach.
“Two shillings,” he growls. “No longer than an hour. If I find you here after then, I’ll kick your heads in.”
TJ fumbles around in his pocket for the money; I think it’s taking him longer because his hands are shaking. He holds the coins out to the man who snatches them impatiently and stomps off back down the landing. TJ pushes the door closed quickly behind him.
“Am I to understand that you’ve rented a room for an hour in a brothel?” I say sarcastically. “Well it’s a good job that I’ve no need to make an honourable marriage, isn’t it, because I think this would seriously damage my reputation.”
“Perhaps you could think of it as a powernap house,” Lake replies, trying to keep a straight face.
“No sleeping takes place on that bed.”