Monday mornings plagued my existence. I loathed the cycle of the workweek. It was an institutionalized system that became the punch line of your average Joe. Walking in like zombies, their illusion of disdain almost comical. I could see the eagerness hiding behind their bullshit facade. Their desperate need to tell the grand tales of their superb weekend to their colleagues was pathetic.
Pampered weak social networking parasites from the feel good generation washed over the floor. Dinosaurs like me watched these bits of tar fill our environments, waiting for them to overtake us. This hot thick goo that your body slowly sinks into, the scolding temperature makes you want to scream out, lash out, do anything but be still. I learned the secret was to let it take you like quick sand. I was a lone raptor in a world filled with sheep, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I liked to stay in my office with the blinds shut on Mondays, to avoid the common courtesies and respects the employees felt obligated to pay. Little children saying hey I was away but now I’m back, like they are checking in from recess. What I wouldn’t give for a minute in the interrogation room with any of these sniveling shits.
Today though, I felt more optimistic than most. My plans were falling into place and I left my blinds open to watch the morning ritual. To my surprise, the employees attempted not to indulge in their senseless chatter for the first hour. They didn’t like the idea of being under my microscope, but an hour is all they could withstand. Whispers and laughter flooded the blissful silence and a nauseating feeling clenched at the pit of my stomach. I shut the blinds, and after a minute or so the sickness subsided.
Gothamsreckoning was moments away from death and I couldn’t let the bottom feeders get to me. I made a phone call to confirm the time, location, and team. The catalyst for Americas rise to its former glory was about to occur. I felt that identical Cliffy death heroin douse my body in pleasure. The finality of it was titillating.
The Chinese will soon grovel at our feet. We will rape their homeland. Yes Rape, say it now. “Rape,” I said in a whisper. The word rape never tasted so sweet on my lips. You will unite the country. You will bring back the spirit of America. The home of the brave will once again be in control. You will bring War, and purify the land… I felt my mind spinning with excitement and reality went dark.
I came to with an erection digging into my zipper. I wished I were at home for my morning ritual. There was some kind of commotion in the main office.
Terry Hennigan, one of the floor supervisors, was laying into some employee on the floor.
“How long does it take you to do a pole analysis? I gave it to you on Friday morning and I come in to find my desk empty. Could you not find my desk?” Terry yelled.
“I’m sorry sir,” is all the man replied. The voice sounded vaguely familiar. I could hear snickering coming from the adjacent cubicles.
“John, I asked you a question. After working here for a year and a half, are you having trouble locating my desk? There has got to be some reason that I don’t have the pole, because there is no way that your excuse could be that you didn’t have time to finish it. Why don’t I show you where my desk is and let me give you a tour of the office while I’m at it? The bathroom is over that way where people produce better shits than the so called work you’ve been compiling lately,” Terry said.
The office erupted in laughter. John hung his head and remained silent. “Here, let me show you…” Terry began to pull John’s chair out.
“That will be quite alright Terry,” I said silencing the room as I walked behind John. “Do you know what the word integrity means?” I said keeping my eyes locked onto Terry so that there was no confusion as to whom I was addressing.
“Sir?” Terry said dumbfounded.
“Integrity Terry, the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, a quality that I’m afraid you are without,” I said in a calm manner.
He fidgeted, “Sir, John had the entire weekend,” he said, the excuse sounding so weak that I could hardly stomach it.
I cut him short saying, “Yes, the whole weekend to do your trivial little exercise. The man apologized did he not?” I said raising my voice now.
“Yes sir,” he said.
“Now for the reason,” I said interrupting him again. “Every man’s got a reason doesn’t he?” I looked around the room at all of the tar that filled it, all of the hollow shells of human beings. The decaying wastes that would some day engulf me. “This is the definition of a man with integrity.” I placed my hand on John’s shoulder. “He is being yelled at for a job that he has an excuse for but he knows that excuses are for the weak and feeble minded. This exquisite employee even apologizes for a crime that he is innocent of as to not shame his superior,” I said.
I approached Terry now putting myself between him and John. “I’ll tell you why John wasn’t doing your weekend project, because of the work he does for me. I personally instructed him to disregard any of your weekend projects so that he may focus on mine. And this employee I’m quite sure can find the bathroom as I’m positive he will be able to find his new office, and position.” Terry looked over at his office that I was now eyeing. I walked over to the door and ripped the name Hennigan off of it.
“Please exit the premises, and good luck finding a job after I have John type up a letter to discourage any reputable company from hiring a man like you. I’m sure you’ll be delighted by the man’s typing skills as well. I’ve grown quite fond of them myself.” Security had already arrived on the scene. Before he could lash out, they had gagged and restrained him.
I enjoyed making sure the employees that left were made an example of. John gave me a subtle bow and walked into his new office without saying a word. He shut the door and closed the blinds. I liked him even more.