“Mom,” I screeched, burrowing under the covers. “What did I do to deserve this?”
“We are going to have a girls’ day out,” she announced.
“Today?” I asked. Every few months, my mother and I went shopping together, got haircuts, and had lunch. We left Dad with the boys. We hadn’t been in months, and I had been hoping she wouldn’t notice. I didn’t know if I could pull off “normal” all day under that kind of scrutiny.
“Someone needs a dress, and I happen to be an excellent shopper.”
A dress? A dress for the dance. “Oh, seriously, Mom? I don’t think I have the energy for this today.”
“Enough with the drama, Natalie. We are going, and we are going to have fun. The right dress is just what you need to boost your confidence.”
“What time is it anyway?” I shoved back the covers.
“It’s nine. The malls open in an hour.”
“We don’t need to be there when they open, Mom. It’s not like there is going to be a run on dresses or something.”
Mom put her hands on her hips but she was smiling. “We aren’t looking for just any dress. We are going to find the perfect dress. This may take all day.”
Please tell me she’s kidding. “All day?”
“Plus we are getting shoes to match the dress.”
Matching shoes? How many hours would that take? “It isn’t the prom for goodness sakes.”
“And we are going to let Victor style your hair. I think something special for the dance.”
“Not the prom.” Black dress. Black shoes would be easy and we’d be in and out in an hour.
“Now quit your whining and get dressed. We are going to have a blast!”
Chapter Four
We hit our fourth shopping mall after lunch. I was wearing down quickly. I was tired, hungry, and overwhelmed by the crowds. Everywhere we went, I heard the pulsing of dozens of hearts and I was weary of fighting the craving.
“I’ve heard great things about the selection of dresses at this location.”
Blah. Blah. Blah.
“Mom, that last dress was fine. I think we should just go back and get it.”
Mom stopped walking. Put her hands on my shoulders, stared me in the eyes, and said, “We will not admit defeat.”
“It’s not a war. It’s a dance.”
“You have the cutest figure, Natalie. I wish you would realize it. You are always hiding under those baggy clothes.”
Great. This speech again. I hated this one.
Mom was still lecturing when we walked through the jewelry section of the department store, dodging the aggressive perfume peddlers, and heading for the junior department.
“Bluh,” she said. “She sprayed that in my mouth. It’s rancid.”
“Shouldn’t have had your mouth open,” I said.
“Not funny.”
We reached the dresses, and I braced myself for another round of arguing and trying on.
“Mom, can we just give up?”
“No, we cannot. If you want to save time, you should just let me pick and then try them on without wasting time arguing.”
“Oh, please.”
“At least lift your restrictions. I can’t work with dark colors, high neck, and long sleeves.”
“Fine. I’ll try on ten dresses. Pick them yourself.”
Mom clapped her hands with glee. The woman was insane. How could this be fun for anyone?
I went toward the black dresses on a rack in the corner. Unfortunately, they were all way too flashy. I wasn’t comfortable in skin tight, and I hated having my boobs practically hanging out. The gauzy black sleeves on some of the dresses may have been intended to make the dresses more modest. Instead, the gauze made them uglier. Maybe I should look in the women’s section. They had to have something there that wouldn’t leave me hanging out there for all to see.
“Ten dresses,” Mom said, startling me by sneaking up behind me.
Her arms were full when I turned around. I glanced down to see something with white sequins. “Aww, Mom.”
“You promised.” She strode toward the dressing room with her armful of dresses. “I get to see each one on you. No exceptions.”
Mom hung her selections in the dressing room and backed out. “I’ll be right here.”
Dear Lord. Let me survive this, I thought to myself.
I closed the door, sliding the flimsy bolt lock. Then I finally paid attention to the dresses. I was famished, and a piece of blood red fabric immediately attracted my attention. I flipped through the dresses to find the red one. I pulled it out and held it against my cheek. The color moved something in me. Something besides my appetite. I wanted it.
I held the dress up to the light. The style of the dress was not too bad. It wasn’t conservative, and I knew it wouldn’t be baggy. I hoped my mother couldn’t read my mind because I wanted to try this on. I didn’t want her to know. I would never admit to liking this dress.
I pulled off my hoodie and slipped off my jeans. The silky fabric of the dress slid easily over my head and down my body. I blinked as I saw myself in the mirror.
I was stunning. The color complimented my skin tone perfectly, and the fit emphasized the swell of my breasts. The result wasn’t sleazy. It was flattering. The dress hugged my stomach and somehow made it look flat and emphasized the curve of my hips. I was actually hot.
I turned from side to side, excited to see the swishing of the skirt. The hemline hit about four inches above my knees. I had smokin’ legs in this dress. The thing was a miracle.
“Natalie, remember your promise,” Mom chided from outside. “I get to see every one of them.”
I opened the dressing room door and stepped out.
Mom stared, and her jaw dropped. She raised her hands to her face, and tears actually formed in her eyes.
I stood there and grinned.
“I just…I can’t…You look…”
Holy crap! My mother was actually speechless.
“My beautiful girl,” she said, and rushed forward to hug me.
“Mom,” I said, tearing up myself, “you’re crushing the dress.”
She jumped back. Then she whipped out her cell phone and started snapping pictures of me in the dress. And for once, I didn’t mind getting my picture taken.
“Now take it off and hang it up. We are going to find the perfect shoes.”
“I can’t walk in heels,” I said.
“You can do anything you put your mind to,” she snapped.
“You are supposed to use that one on medical school, or at least honors calculus. Not shoes.”
“Whatever,” she said. “The theory holds true.”
We found the shoes quickly. A classic pair of black pumps with a cute little strappy detail. I would definitely need practice.
When Mom had paid for the shoes, I smiled. “We’re finished!”
“Not exactly,” she said. “You forgot the hair.”
I didn’t know if I could make it through a cut and style. Someone leaning so close to me with that tantalizing blood running through their veins.
I tried desperately to talk my mother out of it as we drove through Atlanta traffic. She would not listen to reason.
“Why would you want to stop after all the success we’ve had today?”
My stomach growled.
“Oh, Natalie. You’re just hungry. We’ll grab a snack. A snack will get you through.”
A snack. Right. I needed two quarts of the red stuff, and I needed it fast. I could have slapped myself upside the head for my stupidity. The Johnsons’ could bring me a snack. Matt would do it, and if he couldn’t, his parents would.
While my mother was loading the shopping bag into the car, I texted “911” to Matt.
My phone rang a millisecond later. “Where are you? Are they still alive? How bad is it?”
“What?” I wasn’t following.
“You bit someone?”
“Oh, God, no! I’m just ravenous, and my m
other will not stop our shopping day. I’m afraid I’m going to lose it.”
“Natalie, you scared me to death! I thought it was a real emergency.”
Mom was motioning for me to get in the car.
“I can’t talk. I need food. Bring me something at the V salon if you can. I’m on the edge here!” I clicked end and climbed into the car.
“I can’t wait to see what Victor does with your hair.” My mother loved this stuff.
“Yay,” I said weakly.
***
My hair had been washed and cut, and I was bracing myself for the next hour of drying and styling.
“Maybe we should try with an updo and with it down. You could style it twice,” Mom said to Victor.
I’m pretty sure I whimpered.
Victor nodded. “I could do that, if you wait for me to do Mrs. Mashburn before we start the second.”
Somebody had to save me. I was never going to survive this day.
“Excuse me, Victor,” the shampoo girl said. “Somebody dropped this off for your clients.”
She held a cardboard drink carrier with two large fast food cups.
“Oh, thank God!” I leapt out of the chair, sending wet hair clippings flying. I took the carrier from the girl, and lowered my face to the straw on the cup marked with my name. I sucked that chocolate milkshake down so fast, I had brain-freeze, but I didn’t stop.
“Natalie!” My mother exclaimed with hands on her hips. “That was rude. Who on earth dropped those off for us?”
The slurping noise signaled the end of my much-needed meal. I set the carrier on the countertop and pulled my mother’s shake out. “Here’s yours,” I said. Then I climbed back into the chair.
Mom, the shampoo girl, and Victor stared at me like I had three heads.
Not a problem for me. I didn’t care what they thought. I was finally full. The craving was subsiding and I actually had the strength to smile at everyone. “Let’s do this thang,” I said.
Victor, never one to miss an opportunity, said, “You go girl!” With that rallying cry, he got back to work on my hair.
In the mirror, I saw a reflection of the window at the front of the store. For a few seconds, Matt stood there watching me. I could barely make out his lopsided grin. Then he was gone, but I couldn’t help grinning too.
I had it pretty bad for that boy. I knew I shouldn’t. I knew he was just a friend, but I still hoped. I could lie to myself, but I knew the truth. I wanted him to notice me as a girl. No, a woman. I wondered how many miracles that red dress could work. I’d opened hundreds of generic, cheap Valentine’s cards in elementary school while other girls opened boxes of chocolate. Last year, I’d watch delivery after delivery of red carnations to the girls in my classes. Was a real Valentine too much to hope for this year?
***
When Matt climbed through my window that night, I ran over to give him a hug. I almost knocked him over.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” I squeezed him tight. Then I let go and let him regain his balance.
“What was that for?” he asked. “I’m not complaining, but I don’t remember doing anything to deserve that kind of enthusiasm.”
“You saved me this afternoon,” I said. “I was so close to either taking a bite of somebody or running out in front of a bus.”
“So I’m a hero?” he asked. “Maybe you should hug me again.” He held out his arms, and I hugged him again.
This time, when I started to pull away, his arms tightened around me.
I giggled and swatted at his back. “Stop messing around,” I said. Then I looked up into his eyes and the laughing stopped. “Oh.”
Desire. I hadn’t seen desire in a guy’s eyes before, but I knew this must be it. I swallowed nervously, and then Matt’s eyes were back to normal. Shuttered and private.
He cleared his throat and released me.
I sat on the side of my bed. Matt sat next to me and took my hand in his. “Natalie, do you want to go to the dance with me?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Good,” he said. “Because I want to take you.”
Then he stood, pulled two bottles out of his jacket, set them on my nightstand, and said, “Set these on the window sill, and I’ll come back for them.” He left through the window.
I had to wait a minute to drink my dinner because drinking through a water bottle is really difficult when you are smiling so big.
I had total confidence in my little red dress. Valentine’s day was Tuesday. I didn’t have long to wait. I was going to go all out. I was going to do my nails and lips in red. Mom had some pretty crystal jewelry that would be perfect. When I closed my eyes, I could see myself in the dress. I couldn’t wait to see Matt’s reaction.
***
I bumbled through Sunday with my parents and brothers. The Johnsons were visiting Matt’s grandmother and they’d left me some synthetic powder packets under a rock in the back yard. I waited until my mother was busy chasing my brothers, and I snuck out to retrieve them. I drank them in a bottle of water, alone in my room. What if Matt decided to start dropping the powder in my yard on a regular basis? What would I do if I couldn’t see him every night?
***
I had dinner with the Johnsons on Monday night. His mother was ridiculously excited about the Valentine dance. You’d have thought she was going.
“What are wearing, Natalie? I cannot wait to see it. I bet you will look beautiful.”
“Mom made me buy a jacket and tie,” Matt grumbled.
I kicked his calf. “I shopped all day.”
He rubbed his shin and shot me a wounded look. “I brought you refreshments, remember.”
“Oh, right.” I smiled. “I take it back.”
“It’s a little too late for that.”
“We got a red tie,” his mother interrupted. “Will that work, or will we need to get another color?”
“Red will work,” I admitted.
“You know I wouldn’t wear a monkey suit for just anybody.”
“It’s not even a suit. You said it was a jacket.”
“Same difference.”
“What are you guys doing for Valentine’s?” I asked his parents. “Anything special?”
“Not really. I guess we’ll go out another night this week.”
“The dance only lasts until nine-thirty,” I said. “We could babysit and you could go out for a late dinner.”
“Good idea,” his father said with a glance at Mrs. Johnson. “What do you think?”
“We’ll discuss it,” she said.
“It’s very kind of you to offer, Natalie,” his father said.
“Fool,” Matt whispered. “Have you forgotten what she’s like?”
I shook my head. “You’ll be here too. I think we can handle it.”
“I’m on strike,” he said. “I’ll just sit and watch you deal with her.”
“Fine, Matt,” his sister said with a smirk. “Me and Natalie are on the girls’ team. So you are the one who will suffer.”
“Enough arguing, kids,” Mr. Johnson said.
“You’re on my team,” Matt whispered.
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Mrs. Johnson said.
“We’ll discuss it,” her husband said. Then, he winked at me, and I knew we were definitely babysitting.
“She goes to bed at nine on a school night,” Matt told me on the ride home. “She’ll be asleep.”
“Thank God!”
“That was nice of you. My parents probably need some time alone.”
He pulled up in front of my house, and I opened the door.
“You do realize that they aren’t the only ones who will have some alone time tomorrow, don’t you?” His evil leer sent me running from the car.
Time alone? I couldn’t wait.
School lasted forever on Tuesday. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t concentrate. Most of the teachers gave up on trying to teach and focused on keeping us quiet.
When the
y called me to the office at two, I didn’t care how much trouble I was in. I was just glad for a distraction.
I was surprised to see my mother standing in the office. “I’m checking you out,” she said. “We’re getting your hair done.”
“We are? You didn’t tell me.”
“I thought you’d argue.”
“Just spring me from this place before I go nuts.”
Mom put her arm around my shoulders. “Finally, the quiescent daughter I’ve always dreamed of.”
“No need to be snarky, Mom.”
“Back to the plan. Are we going with the hair up or down?”
“I want it lavender and styled like Katy Perry’s.”
“Who?” Mom asked.
“Never mind.” My mother was hopeless.
***
When we got to the salon, I took control. “I’ll go with the updo, but only half as big as the last time. Up but not so do.”
Mom gave me a frown, but she didn’t protest.
“Sounds like a plan,” Victor said. “One scaled-down updo.”
I almost winked at my reflection in the mirror. I was proud of myself.
Then Mom said, “After this, Lily is doing your nails and lips. Red to match the dress.”
The girl in the mirror mouthed a cussword.
Two hours later, I was released from salon hell. My nails and lips were the color of my dress, and I actually loved my hair. Since I still had jeans on, I looked a little silly as we walked to my mother’s car.
“You must eat before you put your dress on,” Mom said. “You can’t risk dropping something on it.”
“I could just eat red stuff. Then if I spilled, it wouldn’t be a big deal.” Blood was red. Blood matched the dress. I could eat blood. My stomach growled.
My mother glanced over and laughed. “I guess we should run through a drive-thru.”
I didn’t want to spend the evening with my stomach full of heavy food that I couldn’t even digest. “No, it’s okay. I’ll just eat something at home.”
With a shrug, my mother said, “Suit yourself. Just as long as I have time for pictures when Matt picks you up.”
“Pictures? Did you find your camera?” We’d hidden her camera because she couldn’t figure out how to work it. On Christmas day, we’d spent hours of torture, and she’d only gotten twenty photos.
My mother snorted. “I know you guys took it. I may be completely incapable of operating that thing, but I’m not an idiot.”