The urge to keep her around so that I could take her ass was stronger than ever. To be the first man to have her in every way possible. I refused to let myself think of being the only man to have her. That wasn't possible. Especially not after Cleo's visit. Being around me was putting Bryne in danger. Being with me would make her an even bigger target.
This was the last time we could be together. The last time I’d get to feel her hot, sinful mouth, or sink inside her tight pussy. The last time I would feel her come on my tongue, taste her.
No matter how much I hated it, how sick I felt at the thought of what it would do to her when she woke up and I was gone – again – she was safer away from me. We hadn't made any promises to each other, and while I knew it would hurt for me to leave without a word or note, a clean break was for the best.
She had Todd to help her and comfort her. He was her friend and wouldn't leave her.
And he wouldn't try to take advantage of her either. I could hate knowing how close they were and how much closer they'd get, but at least I didn't have to feel jealous of him doing anything else.
It shook me more than I liked, knowing that I had such strong feelings against anyone who still got to be in her life. And I didn't even want to think about the jealousy. I'd never been jealous of anyone in my life. Definitely not over a woman.
But the woman in my arms wasn't just any woman.
And that was why, as the bedside clock showed midnight, I eased her out of my embrace and climbed out of bed. I dressed quickly and quietly, then walked away without looking back. I didn't trust myself not to give in to the temptation to stay, and that could cost her more than I was willing to pay.
With my gut churning, I left the hotel and headed for the subway, barely feeling the icy wind and shards of frozen rain on my face. I had a job to do, and the first part of that was to make sure that Booker knew Bryne was off-limits.
My mom had told me more than once that I didn't think about the consequences when I did dumb stuff, and I never really thought that was true before. I always thought I knew what I was doing, that I considered the risks. Except now I knew that wasn't right because if I had, I wouldn't have let myself get caught up in Georgie's shit at all. As soon as I discovered the shop was a front for the gang, I should've left. Tried to find work somewhere else. But I hadn't. It wasn't easy work, but it was easier than looking for something else. I had a high school diploma, but that didn't mean shit most of the time, especially if you had as much ink as I did.
Now I had to deal with the fallout, and if that meant staying away from Bryne and risking my ass to go on some drug run, that's what I'd do. Whatever it took to keep Mom and Bryne safe.
New York was called “The City that Never Sleeps,” and that was never any more apparent than riding a subway at midnight during the middle of the week. Sure, it wasn't close to as crowded as it would be at rush hour, but there were at least a half a dozen people in my car when I got on. The shop was too far to walk, but it was the best place for me to start looking for Booker. Georgie said the two of them were meeting tonight to finalize details about the job, and I knew that whenever Booker came into the shop, he looked over the books. There was a chance he was still there.
I slumped down in a seat and glowered at the empty space across from me. I should've taken a shower before I left. I smelled like sex...and Bryne. I'd never cared before if the guys knew I'd been fucking someone. Pretty much the only times I ever made an effort to be discreet was when I was working at Club Privé – it might've been a sex club, but Gavin and Carrie had strict standards – and when I was around Mom. Now though, I wished I'd thought to clean up more than just a cursory wipe down. I didn't want Booker knowing I'd just come from being with Bryne, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone thinking about Bryne like that.
I stopped myself before I could follow that line of thought any further. I didn't have any claim on her. She wasn't mine. She'd find some other guy, a better guy. Someone with a good job who she could look good standing beside. Yeah, her uncle could do the whole “bad boy” thing, but Gavin was the sort of guy who could make himself look the part for whatever he wanted. Put him in a suit and tie, and he could have lunch with the fucking mayor.
Put me in a suit and tie, and I looked like a phony. I could look good enough for the basic sort of shit couples did together, but now that I knew she didn't just have some money thanks to Gavin, it was brutally clear that we could never be anything more than this. She and her mom might not be on the best terms right now, but I wouldn’t be the one who kept her from going back to that life.
I jerked myself upright as the train started to slow. It'd be an extra block to the shop if I got off here, but I needed it. The cold and the physical activity. It was the only way I could stop myself from going right back to the hotel and trying to figure out a way to make her mine.
My feet and hands felt like chunks of ice by the time I stepped into the shop, but I saw a dim light coming from the office, so it was worth it. Most likely, that was Booker. It could be Georgie, but I could reach out to Booker through him, still letting me get this done before we left for Jersey.
The door was open, but I knocked anyway. It was Booker behind the desk, and there was no point in pissing him off by barging in. What I was about to say would piss him off enough.
“Dax.” He looked up. “Come in.”
I did, but I didn't sit this time. I wasn't here for a friendly chat. “Cleo gave me your message.”
The expression on Booker's face was mild, but I knew better than to trust it.
“Did she?” He leaned back in the chair and it let out a screech that set my teeth on edge.
“I'm doing the job. Leave the girl alone.”
Booker's eyes narrowed, and I knew I was toeing the line. I wasn't going to back down though. He didn't respect weakness. I just had to be careful with what he thought my reasons were. If he knew how much Bryne's safety meant to me, he wouldn't hesitate to use her the next time he wanted something from me. He had to think it was in his best interest to forget about her.
“Cleo's a jealous bitch.” I hooked my thumbs in my pockets. “Sees me around with some new girl and thinks it means shit.”
“But it doesn't?”
I shrugged rather than shaking my head, trying to look as bored as possible. “She was a good enough lay, I went back for seconds. Not enough for anything else.”
“You said she was off-limits. Seems a bit risky for you to be telling me what to do for a girl you don't care about.”
That's what made Booker more dangerous than Georgie. He was a lot smarter than people gave him credit for.
“Her aunt's a lawyer.” I wasn't about to tell him that anyone in her family had any sort of money. He might start getting worse ideas about what he could do with her to get a piece of it. “Nothing big time, but she's got enough connections to make my life hell if something happens to her niece, and she thinks I had something to do with it. I don't need that kind of shit in my life.”
He was quiet for a minute, his eyes boring into me like he could figure out what I was thinking. “You're right,” he said finally. “We don't need lawyers sniffing around while we're dealing with this. Just make sure you do your part, or I'll find someone you do care about.”
I gritted my teeth to keep from saying something stupid and nodded. Even though I was just starting to get feeling back in my hands and feet, I headed for the door. I needed to go home and check on my mom, grab a shower and some clean clothes. Then I’d crash at the shop until after this was done. I didn't want Mom thinking I was up to something, and I sure as hell wasn't going to risk one of the guys showing up at the house.
To keep the people I cared about safe, I needed to stay as far away from them as I could until I figured out what the hell I was going to do once this job was done. And no matter how much I'd tried to keep my distance from her, Bryne was one of those people.
Chapter Thirteen
Bryne
I was
starting to think that waking up alone after sex was normal. Then I remembered that nothing with Dax – or whatever it was we had – was normal, so it wasn't exactly the best comparison to use when trying to figure out how things were supposed to go after sex.
He hadn't left a note. Again, not a surprise.
I rolled my eyes as I stretched my arms above my head. I hadn't bothered to explain that another reason I wanted to come to a nice hotel was that I planned on having a slow morning. Taking a nice, hot shower and ordering room service before I headed into rehearsal. Today was costume fittings, so I didn't have to be in until a little after noon, and I wanted to enjoy being a bit lazy for a couple hours.
At least since Dax's behavior was consistent, I wasn't upset that he left. I knew it didn't mean he hadn't enjoyed himself. And that's all we were. Two people who enjoyed spending time with each other. Right now, I was okay with that. I might not be at some point in the future, but that wasn't something I wanted to think about right now.
A muffled ringing made me jump. Shit. That was Carrie's ringtone. I scrambled out of the bed, hurrying into the sitting area where I'd left my purse last night. I'd forgotten to let her know that I wasn't coming home. She and Gavin hadn't set down any sort of rules or anything for me, but I knew it was polite to let them know where I was.
“Hello?” I managed to answer just before it went to voicemail.
“Bryne, are you with Dax?”
I immediately tensed at Carrie's tone. Something was wrong. I wanted to believe that it was just Carrie being overprotective because she didn't like the idea of me hooking up with Dax, but my gut told me that wasn't the case.
“I was, why?”
“How long were you with him?”
I was starting to get the impression that this was how Carrie questioned people when she was in lawyer mode. I stood, barely aware that I was still naked.
“We met after rehearsal yesterday.” I began to pace. “Went to dinner, then a movie.” I paused to pick up my clothes. “Then we came here.”
“Here?”
“A hotel.”
“You're still there?”
“I am.” I tossed the clothes onto the bed. “We had, um, sex, and I fell asleep.” I wasn't about to tell my aunt that Dax had fucked me until I passed out. “I woke up a couple minutes before you called, and he was already gone.”
“Are you okay?”
There was more of the aunt than the lawyer in that question.
“I'm fine.” I felt compelled to add, “Dax doesn't stay over.”
Heat rushed to my cheeks. The words sounded strange, as if I was trying to defend what Dax and I had done. I didn't need to defend it. We were both consenting adults. And I knew Carrie wouldn't judge me. She wasn't like my mother.
“What time did he leave?”
“I'm not sure.” Annoyance crept into my voice. “What's going on, Carrie? I know I should've texted you last night to let you know I wasn't coming home, but what's with the interrogation about where he is now?”
The silence went on longer than I was comfortable with, but Carrie broke it before I could.
“Annabeth Prevot called me ten minutes ago,” she said. “Dax's mom. She said he didn't come home last night.”
“Maybe she just didn't hear him.” Dax had talked a bit about his mom but hadn't mentioned that he lived with her. I'd just assumed he hadn't invited me back to his place because we weren't serious. Now that I knew, though, I really got it. I couldn't imagine bringing a guy back to a place where I lived with my mother.
“She's always up when he gets up for work, and he wasn't there this morning.”
I swallowed hard and told my queasy stomach that I'd get something in it after things were straightened out with Carrie and Dax's mom. That's all this was. “Couldn't he have left early?”
“He didn't answer when she called. Three times. Or her texts. And he didn't answer when I called either.”
Dodging Carrie's calls made some sense. She'd fired him. I could see not wanting to talk to her without knowing what it was about, and I knew something about ignoring a mother's calls.
But not when she called three times in a row, texted, and had someone else call. No matter how much the two of us argued, I would've wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.
“Shit,” I whispered as I closed my eyes. “Did she try calling the shop?”
“No one's answering there either. And the ‘find my phone’ app he usually keeps on for her to check on him is off. He never turns it off because he doesn't want her to worry.” Carrie sighed. “Annabeth is worried that he's in trouble...or that he's done something stupid.”
Even as little as I knew about Dax, I was pretty sure that it was a matter of him doing something stupid that would get him into trouble.
I just hoped he wasn't in it yet.
I was willing to accept that we weren't anything more than friends who had sex, but I wasn't willing to lose him completely because he was an idiot. I was going to find him, and then I would kick his ass for making me worry.
Continues in Collide Vol. III. Turn the page to keep reading.
Collide Vol. 3
Chapter One
Bryne
I never considered myself to be one of those people who had a temper or made rash decisions. Even if something looked impulsive – say, losing my virginity to a guy I barely knew – chances were, I'd thought about it beforehand. And I didn't get angry easily. Sometimes I snapped at people or raised my voice, but I wasn't the sort of person prone to shouting matches or violence.
But right now, all I wanted to do was find Dax and hit him.
Hard.
When I'd woken up alone less than an hour ago, I wasn’t surprised or upset. That just seemed to be how he did things. If we were in some sort of relationship that extended past sex, it might've been an issue, but we weren't, so it wasn't. Then Carrie called to ask if I knew where Dax was because he hadn't gone home last night.
Now, I was mentally cursing him as I pulled my curls back into a messy bun. Not only had he not gone back to his place, he wasn't answering his phone or responding to any texts, and his mom was worried. And since I was the last person to see him, Carrie wanted to talk to me in person. Which meant I was about to meet Dax's mother with wet hair while wearing yesterday's clothes.
Needless to say, I wasn’t in the best of moods when I went out into the brutal cold to wait for my car. Carrie had already contacted the on-call family driver, but I still had to wait a couple minutes before he arrived. My teeth were chattering, and my hair felt like ice as I climbed into the backseat. As we began to move, I let myself start to think about all the things I'd pushed aside while I showered and dressed.
Things like Carrie and Dax's mom being worried that he was in trouble. The sick feeling I got in my stomach when I thought about him not wanting to tell me about the mutual friend he and Cleo had gone to meet earlier this week. The gut reaction I had to his friends at the shop.
I didn't know if Georgie or those other guys had anything to do with where Dax was or why he wasn't taking his mother's calls, but they were the first people I thought of when Carrie said that she was worried.
No, that was a lie. They weren't the first who came to mind. Cleo was. They'd hooked up in the past, and no matter what he said to me about it being over, she clearly hadn't accepted that. I didn't want to consider her being a factor because I didn't want to think that he could've gone with her willingly. At the same time, I seriously doubted she could've forced him. I didn't see Dax being the kind of guy who got intimidated by a gun or knife.
Unless she hurt him, and the reason he wasn't answering the phone was because he couldn't.
I wasn't sure which was worse. Thinking that he could've gone with her because he wanted to, or thinking that she'd hurt him badly enough that he was unable to answer his phone. I supposed he could've had another meeting that he didn't want to talk about, but that wasn't a good option either.
I closed my eye
s and rubbed my temples. I’d felt great when I woke up. Okay, a little sore considering the sex Dax and I had last night hadn't been even close to gentle. My nipples were so sensitive that the pressure from my bra was almost painful, and the low throbbing between my legs reminded me both of how hard he'd driven into me, and how much I’d been stretched by his delicious cock.
“Dammit, Dax,” I muttered as I pulled out my phone to see if he'd responded to my voicemail or text. Still nothing. “Answer your damn phone.”
“Did you need something, miss?”
I jerked my head up, startled. I'd forgotten I wasn't actually alone. While there was a partition that could separate the front from the back, providing some privacy, I hadn't asked the driver to put it up, and now he was giving me a concerned look.
“I'm fine,” I lied. “How much longer?”
“About ten minutes,” he said. “It's only a couple miles to Mrs. Manning's office, but the traffic will cost us a few extra minutes.”
It was only now I realized that he wasn't taking me home. While I fully intended to get my own place, I'd been in the city less than a month. Since my new-found uncle and his wife didn't mind me using the guest room in their loft, I was taking my time deciding where I wanted to live.
I'd never been to Carrie's office, and if the circumstances had been different, I would've been intrigued. As it was, I could barely manage basic curiosity about the place where my aunt was practicing law, despite how interesting I found the subject.
She was a divorce attorney before she and Gavin met. Now, she worked against human trafficking. I'd asked how she did that since she was a private lawyer and not a prosecutor like her friend Dena, and she'd explained that she dealt with the civil side of things. Getting solicitation charges overturned so former sex workers could apply for jobs without criminal records. Filing lawsuits against pimps and others who owned or used slaves in order to seize their assets and have them distributed among the victims. She occasionally did other types of lawsuits where people were being taken advantage of, often free of charge. I was already planning on discussing helping fund some of those cases with the inheritance my great-grandparents had left me but hadn't had a chance yet.