“Please don’t. It’ll just make it harder.”
He wasn’t sure what she meant, but in some way knew that she was right. “Okay.”
“You’ll have Co-President Rione,” Desjani added in a rush.
“No. I don’t have her now. Not like that.” He shrugged, hoping he wasn’t sounding callous. “We’re using each other. I need someone who is skeptical of me and willing to speak openly her every doubt to me, and she needs . . . I’m not sure what she needs.”
Desjani spoke in a very low voice. “It seems that you’re giving her what she wants.”
Geary barely managed not to flinch. Desjani had a point. A very good point. Why was he having sex with a woman when he wasn’t even remotely sure of his feelings about her? “Not lately. But maybe that should stop completely.”
“If the fleet needs it—”
“That’s a fine justification for me to use, isn’t it? Just the sort of abuse of power I’m supposed to be avoiding.”
She smiled slightly. “Yes.”
“It’s not like Rione and I get along that well. Especially when—” He broke off, suddenly realizing that he’d been about to say “when she acts jealous of you.”
But Desjani looked even farther away for a moment, as if she’d actually heard those words. “I’ve given her no grounds for that. Nor have you.”
“She seems to think so,” he noted in frustration. “So does most of the fleet, apparently. What the hell are we going to do, Tanya?”
She knew that he wasn’t referring to the Syndics or the fleet this time. Desjani gazed toward a corner of the room for a while before answering in a calm and controlled voice. “We can’t do anything. Sir.”
“No. We can’t.” The carefully emphasized “sir” was meant to remind him of their relative positions. She was his subordinate, he was her commander, and nothing could be done about either of those things. He looked down, trying to understand the feelings inside himself and wishing Desjani hadn’t gotten dragged into the politics surrounding him. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “I’m sorry, too.”
It was only after she left that it occurred to him to wonder exactly what she felt sorry for, and only then because he wasn’t entirely sure that he’d meant it the way he’d thought he had.
“CAPTAIN Geary, this is Captain Desjani. The accounting of prisoners liberated from Audacious was scrambled by the subsequent engagement and the losses of some of the ships involved in the recovery, but a preliminary list is now available. They’re working on verifying it and hope to have a finalized list before we reach the jump point for Branwyn.”
Geary felt a sense of satisfaction at the news, a reminder that he had succeeded in liberating some of the Alliance sailors captured during the first battles in Lakota Star System, as he reached out and tapped the comm unit in his stateroom. “Thank you, Captain Desjani. You didn’t need to track that for me. You’re not my chief of staff.” He didn’t have a chief of staff, of course. Admiral Bloch’s had died along with Admiral Bloch in the Syndic home system, and Geary hadn’t wanted to pull any officers out of badly needed primary duties on any of his ships. The automated systems available could do most of the work staffs used to do, anyway.
“I’m happy to help however I can, sir.”
Geary smiled and broke the connection, then turned to see Victoria Rione glowering at him. She’d come here to discuss the fleet conference she had observed but not attended, but had been interrupted by Desjani’s call. “Now what?” he asked. “That was good news.”
“Yes,” Rione agreed in an icy voice, “eagerly delivered by your happy little helper.”
He felt heat rising to match her coldness. “Are you talking about Captain Desjani?”
“Who else? Everyone in this fleet knows how she feels about you. You don’t have to flaunt it in front of me.”
“Those are rumors, and you know it! I’ve never seen her act that way, and I don’t act that way with her,” Geary objected. “No one I meet in the passageways of Dauntless gives me looks of disapproval. If the crew of this ship thought Captain Desjani and I were even thinking of that, they’d—”
“No, they wouldn’t!” Rione gave him a look mixing anger and exasperation. “If you and that woman were screwing on the bridge of this ship, the watch-standers would politely look away and joyfully approve that their respected captain and their legendary hero had found happiness together! How can you not know that?”
“That’s ridiculous. They know you and I are together.”
“We may walk together at times, but anyone can see that we’re no more emotionally tied to each other than we were the day you were defrosted from survival sleep!”
He started to object, then thought better of it. Rione was right about that. Even when their bodies were joined, their spirits were separate. Lust and love were two different things. He knew which of those motivated him to desire Victoria Rione, and he couldn’t pretend otherwise. “We’ve still publicly been companions. If I left you for Desjani—”
“They’d applaud! I’m a civilian and a politician! They don’t trust me, they don’t think I’m one of them, and I’m not!”
“That doesn’t mean—”
“Yes, it does! If an election on the matter were held tomorrow in this fleet, the officers and sailors would overwhelmingly vote to shove me into an escape pod and eject it in the direction of the nearest Syndic labor camp, and for her to move into this stateroom to warm your bed and body for the foreseeable future and fleet regulations be damned! She knows that! Why do you think she’s so uncomfortable when the subject is raised?”
“She has every right to feel uncomfortable!” Geary shot back heatedly. “She’s never done anything to justify the impression that she’d want that.”
Rione stared at him for a long moment. “Of course she hasn’t done anything. Neither have you.”
“What? Are you implying something about my feelings for her?”
“No, I’m not implying anything, I’m stating it! It’s clear you prefer her company to mine or anyone else’s. Moreover, she returns the feeling, and you know it!”
“I know nothing of the kind!” Geary roared. “We have to work together! She has a good military mind and good instincts, so of course I want to consult with her! Why the hell are you so jealous of Desjani anyway?”
“Because you like her better than me, you idiot! If not for your honor and her honor, which I will freely admit are impeccable, and both of your refusals to violate regulations because you’re both so damned dedicated to your duties and responsibilities as officers, you and she would be spending every waking moment together! And every sleeping moment, too! And if it came to that, she would feel the kind of bliss she’s previously only gained from destroying Syndic warships! And if you don’t know all of that, then you’re even more oblivious than I thought any human male could ever possibly be!” Rione glared at him as if trying to decide whether to say anything else, then threw up her hands in apparently total frustration and stormed out.
The obvious reply came to Geary right after the hatch shut. Maybe I like her better because she doesn’t yell at me as much as you do! But there wasn’t much sense in wasting the comeback by saying it to an empty room, and there was no way he was going to chase her down the passageway to deliver it, and in any event he didn’t think he’d believe the retort nearly so wise once his own anger had cooled.
Besides, he knew a totally honest answer would be different. I like Desjani because she understands me. Even though she thinks I’m some great hero on a great mission, she seems to know who I really am, too. And because we work so well together, like we just instinctively know what the other needs. We like the same things, we can talk, I can relax with her in ways I can’t with anyone else. Which made Desjani a great captain for his flagship, a great companion to discuss things with, a great person to be around, a great—
Damn.
Rione’s right.
He sat there
a while, trying to figure out what to do. In a way, though, he and Desjani had already discussed it. They couldn’t, and wouldn’t, do anything that wasn’t appropriate for a commander and one of his subordinate officers. That didn’t mean they couldn’t have a close working relationship, and indeed, recent events had emphasized how important her assistance was to him during critical situations. But he’d have to make sure not to push beyond that, not to seem to pressure her in any way that wasn’t professional. She hadn’t invited his feelings for her, and he had no right to even state them to her.
Never mind Rione’s angry accusation that Desjani had feelings for him. He couldn’t assume that was true and certainly couldn’t act as if it was true. It would be better for all concerned if it wasn’t true.
Geary finally recalled what had started his (latest) argument with Rione, and called up the preliminary listing of Alliance personnel who had been liberated from Audacious. The list was gratifyingly long, though he didn’t want to compare it to a list of the total crews of all of the Alliance ships that had been lost in this star system. For that matter, he didn’t want to linger on the knowledge that those liberated prisoners would be needed to make up combat losses on his surviving ships. Most of the former prisoners were enlisted personnel, of course, with a decent number of junior officers among them. Only one officer above the rank of lieutenant was listed. Geary’s gaze lingered on Commander Savos’s name for a few moments, then he noted that Savos was currently aboard the battle cruiser Implacable and called that ship. “If Commander Savos is up for it, I’d like to speak with him.”
Ten minutes later, Implacable reported that Savos was standing by for his interview. Geary stood up, made sure his uniform looked decent, then told Implacable to activate the link.
The image of Commander Savos, former commanding officer of the light cruiser Spur, which had been destroyed during the Alliance fleet’s first visit to Lakota Star System, looked like hell. His uniform appeared new, obviously provided by someone on Implacable to replace the one Savos had worn while abandoning his ship, then being captured and imprisoned, but the rest of the man reflected what he’d been through in recent weeks. Commander Savos appeared slightly gaunt, his face lined with the strain of his time as a prisoner. One side of his head was covered by a flex-patch, and his eye on that side bore the remnants of a nasty bruise. Commander Savos nonetheless tried to stand at attention and salute. Geary returned the salute quickly, feeling guilty for having summoned the man and wondering why no one had bothered telling him that Commander Savos wasn’t in good shape. “At ease, Commander. Sit down. Are they taking good care of you on Implacable?”
Savos sat down carefully, keeping himself slightly stiff as if trying to sit at attention, then nodded. “Yes, sir. Implacable ’s been wonderful for all of us, sir. Excellent treatment, though the captured Syndic food leaves a bit to be desired.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. I’m already starting to miss Danaka Yoruk bars, and I never thought that would be possible.” Geary paused. “How are you doing?”
“Happier than I imagined I could be a couple of days ago, sir,” Savos stated with a grin that quickly faded. “The Syndics didn’t feed us enough and worked us hard at times. We’ll be okay now, though.”
“You’re the senior surviving officer among the liberated prisoners.”
“Among those on Audacious, yes, sir,” Savos confirmed. “I heard some things that make me think one or more captains may have been captured but taken to Syndic warships for interrogation.” The commander paused, looking distressed. Geary knew what he was thinking, the same pain that troubled Geary at the very real possibility that some of the Syndic warships they’d destroyed had held Alliance prisoners of war. There had been no way to know and no way to save them, but the thought would still disturb Geary whenever he thought about the battles here.
Savos began speaking again. “After I had to order Spur abandoned, I’m afraid I was knocked out for a while when the ship suffered some more hits. My crew helped get me off in one of the escape pods, but it took me a few days to get thinking again. That may be why I was left on Audacious instead of being taken for interrogation like other senior officers. ”
“What do our medics say about your concussion?”
“Nothing they can’t fix, sir.” Savos gave a smile that was almost a grimace and raised one hand toward the bandage on the side of his head. “If it hadn’t been treated, I’d have developed serious problems down the road, but I’m told everything should be fine now.”
“Good. I’m sorry about Spur.”
Savos looked distressed again before answering. “She wasn’t the only ship lost, sir.”
“No. But she also didn’t go without making the enemy pay. Your ship fought well.” He knew that was what any good commanding officer would want to hear. “The battle with the Syndic pursuit force scrambled up the released prisoners with crew members from other ships we just lost. We’re getting the liberated prisoners sorted out, and once we have a list of those from Spur, I’ll make sure you get a copy.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“We’ll probably distribute them around the fleet on ships that need replacements for battle casualties,” Geary told him. “Let me know if there are any you’d like to be on the same ship with.”
Commander Savos nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
Geary regarded the officer for a moment. Savos had impressed him, and he needed a new commanding officer for Orion. Could Savos handle it? Going from a light cruiser to a battleship might be too big a step, especially if Savos was suffering aftereffects from combat injuries. It would be best not to push him. He’d see what shape Savos was in when the fleet reached Branwyn and make a decision then. “I know intelligence is debriefing all of the liberated prisoners, but is there anything you think I ought to know right away?”
Savos pondered that for a moment. “We heard very little. They’d haul us out in small bunches and put us into working parties, but otherwise we were kept in our compartments. There is one thing you probably ought to know.”
“What’s that?”
“We didn’t know what was going on yesterday, but the Syndics knew I was the senior officer among the prisoners on Audacious. A bunch of their Mobile Assault Forces guys hauled me outside the compartment, stuck their weapons in my face, and asked me if you were really in command of the fleet and whether it was true that you’d forbidden the killing of Syndic prisoners.” Savos shrugged. “I didn’t know why they were asking, but I told them the truth, yes and yes. I told them that you’d insisted on following the old rules of war and that all of us were following those orders. I said you always did what you promised. Then one of them said something like ‘screw our orders,’ they shoved me back into the compartment, and that’s all I knew until the Marines broke the hatch open. Our Syndic guards must have bolted for their escape pods right after they talked to me.”
Geary wondered what the “orders” had been. Shut off life support to the prisoner compartments? Set Audacious’s power core to overload? Apparently his threat, backed by his record, had worked in this case. “Thank you, Commander. Get yourself some rest. You’ve earned it. I’ll talk to you again at Branwyn.”
“Yes, sir.” Savos made a gesture toward the controls at his location, then paused. “They’re scared, sir. They’re scared of this fleet. They’re scared of you. I could feel it.”
“Huh.” How did he respond properly to that? He’d never led by fear, though it was one thing for your own personnel to be afraid of you and another for the enemy to fear you. Still, it wasn’t how he saw himself. “Well, they ought to be scared of everyone in this fleet, Commander Savos, because I couldn’t have done a single blessed thing without every man and woman on every ship in this fleet.” Savos looked grateful, as if, Geary thought, he couldn’t have been expected to state the obvious. Then Commander Savos’s image disappeared, leaving Geary alone once more.
“THE shuttle carrying Captain Casia and Commander Y
in to Illustrious is on its way,” Desjani reported, as if transporting one senior officer to meet a firing squad and a second to be imprisoned were the most routine event in the fleet.
“They’re both on one shuttle?”
Desjani’s image on his stateroom communications display nodded. “Conqueror and Orion are still close to each other, so there wasn’t any sense wasting fuel with two shuttle flights. The bird should be at Illustrious in twenty-five minutes.”
Which would leave about four and a half days before the fleet jumped to Branwyn. Plenty of time for the firing squad to do its work at Lakota just as Geary had promised Casia, but somehow the time available still felt rushed.
It felt wrong to sit in his stateroom, working or not, while that shuttle was en route to Illustrious with its small cargo of prisoners and Marine guards. Geary made his way up to the bridge and sat down near Desjani, noting that the shuttle was now twenty minutes from Illustrious. He wondered if Colonel Carabali had managed to find enough volunteers for Captain Casia’s firing squad yet but decided he wasn’t ready to ask. He didn’t want to think about it at all, but couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Ten minutes later an alert pulsed.
“Accident on shuttle flight Omicron Five One,” a watch-stander called out.
Geary was still focusing on his display when Desjani gasped in recognition. “That’s the bird with Casia and Yin on it.”
He stared at the display with a sick feeling. “The bird that had them on it.” Images and text presented the same picture, that the shuttle had blown up. “It’s gone?”
Desjani was scowling now, tapping controls. “Shuttle accidents are uncommon but not impossible. But that level of failure—our systems say it must have been the shuttle’s fuel cell suffering a catastrophic containment failure. What the hell could’ve caused that?”