“Your home and family is lovely,” said the journalist. “My questions … I was only doing my job. In reality I love wolves. M-m-maybe you could let me go and I could start a wildlife sanctuary!”
“Do you see those apple trees way across the back yard?” Joseph asked.
Gorge stared silently.
“How long would you guess it would take you to run to them?”
“Please …”
“Take heart,” Joseph said. “Because I freely admit that you are not the worst of all media personalities, I will grant you a fighting chance of survival. Though my brother is a savage, he is not without a code, and he will honor my wishes on my property. I’ll give you a ten-second lead on your way to those trees, starting from the moment your feet touch the grass beyond the porch steps.”
Gorge swallowed. He was as white as a ghost.
Joseph resumed, “If you can reach the shade of those apple trees before my brother catches you, I promise he will let you live. And not only will you live, I will personally fly you home in my jet and grant a live interview on the evening news. Then I’ll buy your dinner.”
“This isn’t fair,” the journalist whispered.
“The world is often unfair,” the elder Snow returned. “Which is why this country desperately needs professional journalists, operating on the principal of honesty, to keep the general public aware of what is truly happening beyond their daily routines. It’s really no different than needing auto mechanics to properly tighten lug nuts, or chefs to take care not to lose bandages in the mashed potatoes. It could all be easily summed up as integrity.”
“B-b-but I can change,” Gorge said. “I can set my opinions aside and convey truth. I’ll become a new man. Please, my reform will make a beautiful story!”
“I’m sorry,” Shawn said through the doorway. “I greatly admire Dickens, but this is not A Christmas Carol. The truth is, whenever I try to write cozy stories, nobody buys them. A perfect example is The Earthkeepers.”
“Best not keep my brother waiting,” Joseph said, giving the man a little push. “My advice is not to look back once you’ve left the porch. Face front, focusing all your might on reaching the destination at hand, and you just might make it.”
***
Author’s Note
Guys, it’s only a joke. No annoying journalists actually got hurt.
Feeling bored? Aimless? Drop by Facebook Shawn Underhill (Author) where I share news about my stories and lots of pictures of awesome wolves. Someday I might offer to give away a new car, but I can’t make any concrete promises.
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