CHAPTER LXXII.
THE STRANGE STORY.--THE ARRIVAL OF THE MOB AT THE HALL, AND THEIRDISPERSION.
"You will find that the time which elapsed since I last saw you inLondon, to have been spent in an eventful, varied manner."--"You were ingood circumstances then," said Mr. Chillingworth.--"I was, but manyevents happened after that which altered the prospect; made it even moregloomy than you can well imagine: but I will tell you all candidly, andyou can keep watch upon Bannerworth Hall at the same time. You are wellaware that I was well to do, and had ample funds, and inclination tospend them."--"I recollect: but you were married then, surely?"--"Iwas," said the stranger, sadly, "I was married then."--"And now?"--"I ama widower." The stranger seemed much moved, but, after a moment or so,he resumed--"I am a widower now; but how that event came about is partlymy purpose to tell you. I had not married long--that is very long--for Ihave but one child, and she is not old, or of an age to know much morethan what she may be taught; she is still in the course of education. Iwas early addicted to gamble; the dice had its charms, as all those whohave ever engaged in play but too well know; it is perfectlyfascinating."--"So I have heard," said Mr. Chillingworth; "though, formyself, I found a wife and professional pursuits quite incompatible withany pleasure that took either time or resources."--
"It is so. I would I had never entered one of those houses where men aredeprived of their money and their own free will, for at thegambling-table you have no liberty, save that in gliding down the streamin company with others. How few have ever escaped destruction--none, Ibelieve--men are perfectly fascinated; it is ruin alone that enables aman to see how he has been hurried onwards without thought orreflection; and how fallacious were all the hopes he ever entertained!Yes, ruin, and ruin alone, can do this; but, alas! 'tis then toolate--the evil is done. Soon after my marriage I fell in with aChevalier St. John. He was a man of the world in every sense of theword, and one that was well versed in all the ways of society. I nevermet with any man who was so perfectly master of himself, and of perfectease and self-confidence as he was. He was never at a loss, and, comewhat would, never betrayed surprise or vexation--two qualities, hethought, never ought to be shown by any man who moved in society."--
"Indeed!"--"He was a strange man--a very strange man."--
"Did he gamble?"--
"It is difficult to give you a correct and direct answer. I should sayhe did, and yet he never lost or won much; but I have often thought hewas more connected with those who did than was believed."--
"Was that a fact?" inquired Mr. Chillingworth.--
"You shall see as we go on, and be able to judge for yourself. I havethought he was. Well, he first took me to a handsome saloon, wheregambling was carried on. We had been to the opera. As we came out, herecommended that we should sup at a house where he was well known, andwhere he was in the habit of spending his evenings after the opera, andbefore he retired. I agreed to this. I saw no reason why I should not.We went there, and bitterly have I repented of so doing for years since,and do to this day."--
"Your repentance has been sincere and lasting," said Mr. Chillingworth;"the one proves the other."--"It does; but I thought not so then. Theplace was glittering, and the wine good. It was a kind of earthlyparadise; and when we had taken some wine, the chevalier said to me,--
"'I am desirous of seeing a friend backwards; he is at the hazard-table.Will you go with me?'--I hesitated. I feared to see the place where avice was carried on. I knew myself inclined to prudential motives. Isaid to him,--'No, St. John, I'll wait here for you; it may be aswell--the wine is good, and it will content me?'
"'Do so,' he said, smiling; 'but remember I seldom or never play myself,nor is there any reason why you should.'--'I'll go, but I will notplay.'--'Certainly not; you are free alike to look on, play, or quit theplace at any moment you please, and not be noticed, probably, by asingle soul.'
"I arose, and we walked backwards, having called one of the men who werewaiting about, but who were watchers and door-keepers of the 'hell.' Wewere led along the passage, and passed through the pair of doors, whichwere well secured and rendered the possibility of a surprise almostimpossible. After these dark places, we were suddenly let into a placewhere we were dazzled by the light and brilliancy of the saloon. It wasnot so large as the one we left, but it was superior to it in all itsappointments.
"At first I could not well see who was, or who was not, in the roomwhere we were. As soon, however, as I found the use of my eyes, Inoticed many well-dressed men, who were busily engaged in play, and whotook no notice of any one who entered. We walked about for some minuteswithout speaking to any one, but merely looking on. I saw men engaged inplay; some with earnestness, others again with great nonchalance, andmoney changed hands without the least remark. There were but few whospoke, and only those in play. There was a hum of conversation; but youcould not distinguish what was said, unless you paid some attention to,and was in close vicinity with, the individual who spoke.
"'Well,' said St. John, 'what do you think of this place?'--'Why,' Ireplied, 'I had no notion of seeing a place fitted up as this is.'
"'No; isn't it superb?'--'It is beautifully done. They have manyvisitors,' said I, 'many more than I could have believed.'
"'Yes, they are all _bona fide_ players; men of stamp and rank--none ofyour seedy legs who have only what they can cheat you outof.'--'Ah!'--'And besides,' he added, 'you may often form friendshipshere that lead to fortune hereafter. I do not mean in play, becausethere is no necessity for your doing so, or, if you do so, in goingabove a stake which you know won't hurt you.'--'Exactly.'
"'Many men can never approach a table like this, and sit down to anhour's play, but, if they do, they must stake not only more than theycan afford, but all their property, leaving themselves beggars.' 'Theydo?" said I.
"'But men who know themselves, their resources, and choose to indulgefor a time, may often come and lay the foundation to a very prettyfortune.'
"'Do you see your friend?' I inquired.--'No, I do not; but I willinquire if he has been here--if not, we will go.'
"He left me for a moment or two to make some inquiry, and I stoodlooking at the table, where there were four players, and who seemed tobe engaged at a friendly game; and when one party won they looked grave,and when the other party lost they smiled and looked happy. I walkedaway, as the chevalier did not return immediately to me; and then I sawa gentleman rise up from a table. He had evidently lost. I was standingby the seat, unconsciously holding the back in my hand. I sat downwithout thinking or without speaking, and found myself at the hazardtable.
"'Do you play, sir?'--'Yes,' I said. I had hardly uttered the words whenI was sorry for them; but I could not recall them. I sat down, and playat once commenced.
"In about ten or fifteen minutes, often losing and then winning, I foundmyself about a hundred and twenty pounds in pocket, clear gain by theplay.
"'Ah!' said the chevalier, who came up at that moment, 'I thought youwouldn't play.'--'I really don't know how it happened,' said I, 'but Isuddenly found myself here without any previous intention.'
"'You are not a loser, I hope?'--'Indeed I am not,' I replied; 'but notmuch a gainer.'
"'Nor need you desire to be. Do you desire to give your adversary hisrevenge now, or take another opportunity.'--'At another time,' Ireplied.
"'You will find me here the day after to-morrow, when I shall be at yourservice;' then bowing, he turned away.
"'He is a very rich man whom you have been playing with,' said thechevalier.--"
"Indeed!"
"'Yes, and I have known him to lose for three days together; but you maytake his word for any amount; he is a perfect gentleman and man ofhonour.'--''Tis well to play with such,' I replied; 'but I suppose youare about to leave.'
"'Yes, it grows late, and I have some business to transact to-morrow, soI must leave.'--'I will accompany you part of the way home,' said I,'and then I shall have finished the night.'
"I did leave with him, and accomp
anied him home, and then walked to myown home."
* * * * *
"This was my first visit, and I thought a propitious beginning, but itwas the more dangerous. Perhaps a loss might have effectually deterredme, but it is doubtful to tell how certain events might have beenaltered. It is just possible that I might have been urged on by mydesire to retrieve any loss I might have incurred, and so made myself atonce the miserable being it took months to accomplish in bringing me to.
"I went the day but one after this, to meet the same individual at thegambling-table, and played some time with varied success, until I leftoff with a trifling loss upon the night's play, which was nothing of anyconsequence.
"Thus matters went on; I sometimes won and sometimes lost, until I won afew hundreds, and this determined me to play for higher stakes than anyI had yet played for.
"It was no use going on in the peddling style I had been going on; I hadwon two hundred and fifty pounds in three months, and had I been lessfearful I might have had twenty-five thousand pounds. Ah! I'll try myfortune at a higher game.
"Having once made this resolution, I was anxious to begin my new plan,which I hoped would have the effect of placing me far above my thenpresent position in society, which was good, and with a little attentionit would have made me an independent man; but then it required patience,and nothing more. However, the other method was so superior since itmight all be done with good luck in a few months. Ah! good luck; howuncertain is good luck; how changeful is fortune; how soon is the bestprospect blighted by the frosts of adversity. In less than a month I hadlost more than I could pay, and then I gambled on for a living.
"My wife had but one child; her first and only one; an infant at herbreast; but there was a change came over her; for one had come overme--a fearful one it was too--one not only in manner but in fortune too.She would beg me to come home early; to attend to other matters, andleave the dreadful life I was then leading.
"'Lizzy,' said I, 'we are ruined.'--'Ruined!' she exclaimed, andstaggered back, until she fell into a seat. 'Ruined!'
"'Ay, ruined. It is a short word, but expressive.'--'No, no, we are notruined. I know what you mean, you would say, we cannot live as we havelived; we must retrench, and so we will, right willingly.'
"'You must retrench most wonderfully,' I said, with desperate calmness,'for the murder must out.'--'And so we will; but you will be with us;you will not go out night after night, ruining your health, ourhappiness, and destroying both peace and prospects.'
"'No, no, Lizzy, we have no chance of recovering ourselves; house andhome--all gone--all, all.'--'My God!' she exclaimed.
"'Ay, rail on,' said I; 'you have cause enough; but, no matter--we havelost all.'--'How--how?'
"'It is useless to ask how; I have done, and there is an end of thematter; you shall know more another day; we must leave this house for alodging.'--'It matters little,' she said; 'all may be won again, if youwill but say you will quit the society of those who have ruined you.'
"'No one,' said I, 'has ruined me; I did it; it was no fault of any oneelse's; I have not that excuse.'--'I am sure you can recover.'
"'I may; some day fortune will shower her favours upon me, and I live onin that expectation.'--'You cannot mean that you will chance thegaming-table? for I am sure you must have lost all there?'
"'I have.'--'God help me,' she said; 'you have done your child a wrong,but you may repair it yet.'
"'Never!'--''Tis a long day! let me implore you, on my knees, to leavethis place, and adopt some other mode of life; we can be careful; alittle will do, and we shall, in time, be equal to, and better than whatwe have been.'
"'We never can, save by chance.'--'And by chance we never shall,' shereplied; 'if you will exert yourself, we may yet retrieve ourselves.'
"'And exert myself I will.'--'And quit the gaming-table?'
"'Ask me to make no promises,' said I; 'I may not be able to keep them;therefore, ask me to make none.'--'I do ask you, beg of, entreat of youto promise, and solemnly promise me that you will leave that fearfulplace, where men not only lose all their goods, but the feelings ofnature also.'
"'Say no more, Lizzy; if I can get a living elsewhere I will, but ifnot, I must get it there.'
"She seemed to be cast down at this, and she shed tears. I left theroom, and again went to the gambling-house, and there that night, I wona few pounds, which enabled me to take my wife and child away from thehouse they had so long lived in, and took them afterwards to a miserableplace,--one room, where, indeed, there were a few articles of furniturethat I had saved from the general wreck of my own property.
"She took things much less to heart than I could have anticipated; sheseemed cheerful and happy,--she endeavoured to make my home ascomfortable as she could.
"Her whole endeavour was to make me as much as possible, forget thepast. She wanted, as much as possible, to wean me away from my gamblingpursuits, but that was impossible. I had no hope, no other prospect.
"Thus she strove, but I could see each day she was getting paler, andmore pale; her figure, before round, was more thin, and betrayed signsof emaciation. This preyed upon me; and, when fortune denied me themeans of carrying home that which she so much wanted, I could neverreturn for two days at a time. Then I would find her shedding tears, andsighing; what could I say? If I had anything to take her, then I used toendeavour to make her forget that I had been away.
"'Ah!' she would exclaim, 'you will find me dead one of these days; whatyou do now for one or two days, you will do by-and-bye for many days,perhaps weeks.'--'Do not anticipate evil.'
"'I cannot do otherwise; were you in any other kind of employment butthat of gambling,' she said, 'I should have some hope of you; but, as itis, there is none.'--'Speak not of it; my chances may turn outfavourable yet, and you may be again as you were.'
"'Never.'--'But fortune is inconstant, and may change in my favour asmuch as she has done in others.'
"'Fortune is indeed constant, but misfortune is as inconstant.'--'Youare prophetic of evil."
"'Ah! I would to Heaven I could predict good; but who ever yet heard ofa ruined gambler being able to retrieve himself by the same means thathe was ruined?'
"Thus we used to converse, but our conversation was usually of butlittle comfort to either of us, for we could give neither any comfort tothe other; and as that was usually the case, our interviews became lessfrequent, and of less duration. My answer was always the same.
"'I have no other chance; my prospects are limited to that one place;deprive me of that, and I never more should be able to bring you amouthful of bread.'
"Day after day,--day after day, the same result followed, and I was asfar from success as ever I was, and ever should be; I was yet a beggar.
"The time flew by; my little girl was nearly four years old, but sheknew not the misery her father and mother had to endure. The poor littlething sometimes went without more than a meal a day; and while I wasliving thus upon the town, upon the chances of the gaming-table, many apang did she cause me, and so did her mother. My constant consolationwas this,--
"'It is bad luck now,' I would say; 'but will be better by-and-bye;things cannot always continue thus. It is all for them--all for them.'
"I thought that by continuing constantly in one course, I must be atland at the ebb of the tide. 'It cannot always flow one way,' I thought.I had often heard people say that if you could but have the resolutionto play on, you must in the end seize the turn of fortune.
"'If I could but once do that, I would never enter a hell again as longas I drew breath.'
"This was a resolve I could not only make but keep, because I hadsuffered so much that I would never run through the same misery againthat I had already gone through. However, fortune never seemed inclinedto take the turn I had hoped for; fortune was as far off as ever, andhad in no case given me any opportunity of recovering myself.
"A few pounds were the utmost I could at any time muster, and I had tokeep up somethi
ng of an appearance, and seem as if I had a thousand ayear; when, God knows, I could not have mustered a thousandth part ofthat sum, were all done and paid for.
"Day after day passed on, and yet no change. I had almost given myselfup to despair, when one night when I went home I saw my wife was morethan usually melancholy and sad, and perhaps ill; I didn't look ather--I seldom did, because her looks were always a reproach to me; Icould not help feeling them so.
"'Well,' said I, 'I have come home to you because I have something tobring you; not what I ought--but what I can--you must be satisfied!'--'Iam,' she said.
"'I know also you want it; how is the child, is she quite well?'--'Yes,quite.'
"'Where is she?' inquired I, looking round the room, but I didn't seeher; she used to be up.--'She has gone to bed,' she said.
"'It is very early.'--'Yes, but she cried so for food that I was obligedto get her to sleep to forget her hunger: poor thing, she has wantedbread very badly.'
"'Poor thing!' I said, 'let her be awakened and partake of what I havebrought home.'
"With that my wife waked her up, and the moment she opened her eyes sheagain began to cry for food, which I immediately gave her and saw herdevour with the utmost haste and hunger. The sight smote my heart, andmy wife sat by watching, and endeavouring to prevent her from eating sofast.
"'This is bad,' I said.--'Yes, but I hope it may be the worst,' shereplied, in a deep and hollow voice.
"'Lizzy,' I exclaimed, 'what is the matter--are you ill?'--'Yes, veryill.'
"'What is the matter with you? For God's sake tell me,' I said, for Iwas alarmed.--'I am very ill,' she said, 'very ill indeed; I feel mystrength decreasing every day. I must drink.'
"You, too, want food?'--'I have and perhaps do, though the desire to eatseems almost to have left me.'
"'For Heaven's sake eat,' said I; 'I will bring you home something moreby to-morrow; eat and drink Lizzy. I have suffered; but for you and yourchild's sake, I will do my best.'--'Your best,' she said, 'will kill usboth; but, alas, there is no other aid at hand. You may one day,however, come here too late to find us living.'
"'Say no more, Lizzy, you know not my feelings when you speak thus;alas, I have no hope--no aid--no friend.'--'No,' she replied, 'your loveof gaming drove them from you, because they would not aid a gambler.'
"'Say no more, Lizzy,' I said; 'if there be not an end to this lifesoon, there will be an end to me. In two days more I shall return toyou. Good bye; God bless you. Keep up your heart and the child.'--'Goodbye,' she said, sorrowfully. She shed tears, and wrung her handsbitterly. I hastened away--my heart was ready to burst, and I could notspeak.
"I walked about to recover my serenity, but could not do so sufficientlywell to secure anything like an appearance that would render me fit togo to the gaming-house. That night I remained away, but I could notavoid falling into a debauch to drown my misfortunes, and shift thescene of misery that was continually before my eyes."
* * * * *
"The next night I was at the gaming-house. I went there in better thanusual spirits. I saw, I thought, a change in fortune, and hailed that asthe propitious moment of my life, when I was to rise above my presentmisfortunes.
"I played and won--played and lost--played and won, and then lost again;thus I went on, fluctuating more and more, until I found I was gettingmoney in my pocket. I had, at one moment more than three hundred poundsin my pocket, and I felt that then was my happy moment--then the tide offortune was going in my favour. I ought to have left off with that--tohave been satisfied with such an amount of money; but the demon ofavarice seemed to have possessed me, and I went on and on withfluctuating fortune, until I lost the whole of it.
"I was mad--desperate, and could have destroyed myself; but I thought ofthe state my wife and child were in; I thought that that night theywould want food; but they could not hurt for one day--they must havesome, or would procure some.
"I was too far gone to be able to go to them, even if I were possessedof means; but I had none, and daylight saw me in a deep sleep, fromwhich I awoke not until the next evening let in, and then I once moredetermined that I would make a desperate attempt to get a little money.I had always paid, and thought my word would be taken for once; and, ifI won, all well and good; if not, then I was no worse off than before.
"This was easy to plan, but not to execute. I went there, but there werenone present in whom I had sufficient interest to dare make the attempt.I walked about, and felt in a most uncomfortable state. I feared Ishould not succeed at all, then what was to become of me--of my wife andchild? This rendered me almost mad. I could not understand what I was todo, what to attempt, or where to go. One or two persons came up, andasked me if I were ill. My answers were, that I was well enough. GoodGod! how far from the truth was that; but I found I must place morecontrol on my feelings, else I should cause much conversation, and thenI should lose all hope of recovering myself, and all prospect of living,even.
"At length some one did come in, and I remarked I had been there all theevening and had not played. I had an invitation to play with him, whichended, by a little sleight of hand, in my favour; and on that I hadcalculated as much as on any good fortune I might meet. The person Iplayed with observed it not, and, when we left off playing, I had somesix or seven pounds in pocket. This, to me, was a very great sum; and,the moment I could decently withdraw myself, I ran off home.
"I was fearful of the scene that awaited me. I expected something; worsethan I had yet seen. Possibly Lizzy might be angry, and scold as wellas complain. I therefore tapped at the door gently, but heard no oneanswer; but of this I took no notice, as I believed that they might be,and were, most probably, fast asleep. I had provided myself with alight, and I therefore opened the door, which was not fastened.
"'Lizzy!' said I, 'Lizzy!' There was no answer given, and I paused.Everything was as still as death. I looked on the bed--there lay my wifewith her clothes on.
"'Lizzy! Lizzy!' said I. But still she did not answer me.
"'Well,' said I, 'she sleeps sound;' and I walked towards the bed, andplaced my hand upon her shoulder, and began to shake her, saying, as Idid so,--
"'Lizzy! Lizzy! I'm come home.' But still no answer, or signs ofawaking.
"I went on the other side of the bed to look at her face, and somemisgivings overtook me. I trembled much. She lay on the bed, with herback towards the spot where I stood.
"I came towards her face. My hand shook violently as I endeavoured tolook at her. She had her eyes wide open, as if staring at me.
"'Lizzy,' said I. No answer was returned. I then placed my hand upon hercheek. It was enough, and I started back in great horror. She was dead!
"This was horror itself. I staggered back and fell into a chair. Thelight I placed down, Heaven knows how or why; but there I sat staring atthe corpse of my unfortunate wife. I can hardly tell you the tremendouseffect this had upon me. I could not move. I was fascinated to the spot.I could not move and could not turn."
* * * * *
"It was morning, and the rays of the sun illumined the apartment; butthere sat I, still gazing upon the face of my unfortunate wife, I saw, Iknew she was dead; but yet I had not spoken, but sat looking at her.
"I believe my heart was as cold as she was; but extreme horror and dreadhad dried up all the warm blood in my body, and I hardly think there wasa pulsation left. The thoughts of my child never once seemed to cross mymind. I had, however, sat there long--some hours before I wasdiscovered, and this was by the landlady.
"I had left the door open behind me, and she, in passing down, had thecuriosity to peep, and saw me sitting in what she thought to be a verystrange attitude, and could hear no sounds.
"After some time she discovered my wife was dead, and, for some time,she thought me so, too. However, she was convinced to the contrary, andthen began to call for assistance. This awoke the child, which wasnearly famished. The landlady, to become useful, and to awak
en me frommy lethargy, placed the child in my hands, telling me I was the bestperson now to take care of it.
"And so I was; there was no doubt of the truth of that, and I wascompelled to acknowledge it. I felt much pride and pleasure in mydaughter, and determined she should, if I starved, have the benefit ofall I could do for her in the way of care, &c."
* * * * *
"The funeral over, I took my child and carried it to a school, where Ileft her, and paid in advance, promising to do so as often as thequarter came round. My wife I had seen buried by the hands of man, and Iswore I would do the best for my child, and to keep this oath was a workof pleasure.
"I determined also I would never more enter a gaming-house, be theextremity what it might; I would suffer even death before I would permitmyself to enter the house in which it took place.
"'I will,' I thought, 'obtain some employment of some kind or other. Icould surely obtain that. I have only to ask and I have it,surely--something, however menial, that would keep me and my child. Yes,yes--she ought, she must have her charges paid at once."
"The effect of my wife's death was a very great shock to me, and such aone I could not forget--one I shall ever remember, and one that at leastmade a lasting impression upon me."
* * * * *
"Strange, but true, I never entered a gambling-house; it was my horrorand my aversion. And yet I could obtain no employment. I took mydaughter and placed her at a boarding-school, and tried hard to obtainbread by labour; but, do what would, none could be had; if my souldepended upon it, I could find none. I cared not what it was--anythingthat was honest.
"I was reduced low--very low; gaunt starvation showed itself in mycheeks; but I wandered about to find employment; none could be found,and the world seemed to have conspired together to throw me back to thegaming-table.
"But this I would not. At last employment was offered; but what was it?The situation of common hangman was offered me. The employment wasdisgusting and horrible; but, at the same time, it was all I could get,and that was a sufficient inducement for me to accept of it. I was,therefore, the common executioner; and in that employment for some timeearned a living. It was terrible; but necessity compelled me to acceptthe only thing I could obtain. You now know the reason why I became whatI have told you."