a large table, where a profusion of viands werespread. Amongst others were sweetbreads stewed in milk of almonds,saffron soups, and lamb à la crême, of all of which the Caliph wasamazingly fond. He took of each as much as he was able; testified hissense of the emir’s friendship by the gaiety of his heart; and made thedwarfs dance against their will; for these little devotees durst notrefuse the commander of the faithful. At last he spread himself on thesofa and slept sounder than he had ever before.
Beneath this dome a general silence prevailed, for there was nothing todisturb it but the jaws of Bababalouk, who had untrussed himself to eatwith greater advantage, being anxious to make amends for his fast in themountains. As his spirits were too high to admit of his sleeping, andnot loving to be idle, he proposed with himself to visit the harem, andrepair to his charge of the ladies, to examine if they had been properlylubricated with the balm of Mecca, if their eye-brows and tresses were inorder, and in a word, to perform all the little offices they might need.He sought for a long time together, but without being able to find outthe door. He durst not speak aloud for fear of disturbing the Caliph,and not a soul was stirring in the precincts of the palace. He almostdespaired of effecting his purpose, when a low whispering just reachedhis ear: it came from the dwarfs, who were returned to their oldoccupation, and for the nine hundred and ninety-ninth time in their liveswere reading over the koran. They very politely invited Bababalouk to beof their party, but his head was full of other concerns. The dwarfs,though scandalized at his dissolute morals, directed him to theapartments he wanted to find. His way thither lay through a hundred darkcorridors, along which he groped as he went, and at last began to catch,from the extremity of a passage, the charming gossiping of women, whichnot a little delighted his heart.
“Ah, ah! what not yet asleep?” cried he, and taking long strides as hespoke, “did you not suspect me of abjuring my charge? I stayed but tofinish what my master had left.”
Two of the black eunuchs on hearing a voice so loud detached a party inhaste, sabre in hand, to discover the cause, but presently was repeatedon all sides:
“’Tis only Bababalouk, no one but Bababalouk!”
This circumspect guardian having gone up to a thin veil of carnationcolour silk that hung before the doorway, distinguished by means of asoftened splendour that shone through it, an oval bath of dark porphyrysurrounded by curtains festooned in large folds. Through the aperturesbetween them, as they were not drawn close, groups of young slaves werevisible, amongst whom Bababalouk perceived his pupils indulginglyexpanding their arms, as if to embrace the perfumed water, and refreshthemselves after their fatigues. The looks of tender languor, theirconfidential whispers, and the enchanting smiles with which they wereimparted, the exquisite fragrance of the roses, all combined to inspire avoluptuousness which even Bababalouk himself was scarce able towithstand.
He summoned up, however, his usual solemnity, and in the peremptory toneof authority commanded the ladies instantly to leave the bath. Whilst hewas issuing these mandates, the young Nouronihar, daughter of the emir,who was sprightly as an antelope, and full of wanton gaiety, beckoned oneof her slaves to let down the great swing, which was suspended to theceiling by cords of silk, and whilst this was doing winked to hercompanions in the bath, who chagrined to be forced from so soothing astate of indolence, began to twist it round Bababalouk, and teaze himwith a thousand vagaries.
When Nouronihar perceived that he was exhausted with fatigue, sheaccosted him with an arch air of respectful concern, and said:
“My lord, it is not by any means decent that the chief eunuch of theCaliph our sovereign should thus continue standing, deign but to reclineyour graceful person upon this sofa, which will burst with vexation if ithave not the honour to receive you.”
Caught by these flattering accents, Bababalouk gallantly replied:
“Delight of the apple of my eye! I accept the invitation of thy honiedlips, and to say truth, my senses are dazzled with the radiance thatbeams from thy charms.”
“Repose, then, at your ease,” replied the beauty, and placed him on thepretended sofa, which, quicker than lightning, gave way all at once. Therest of the women having aptly conceived her design, sprang naked fromthe bath and plied the swing with such unmerciful jerks, that it sweptthrough the whole compass of a very lofty dome, and took from the poorvictim all power of respiration. Sometimes his feet rased the surface ofthe water, and at others the skylight almost flattened his nose. In vaindid he pierce the air with the cries of a voice that resembled theringing of a cracked basin, for their peals of laughter were still morepredominant.
Nouronihar in the inebriety of youthful spirits being used only toeunuchs of ordinary harems, and having never seen any thing so royal anddisgusting, was far more diverted than all of the rest. She began toparody some Persian verses, and sung with an accent most demurelypiquant:
“O gentle white dove as thou soar’st through the air, Vouchsafe one kind glance on the mate of thy love: Melodious Philomel I am thy rose; Warble some couplet to ravish my heart!”
The sultanas and their slaves stimulated by these pleasantries perseveredat the swing with such unremitted assiduity, that at length the cordwhich had secured it snapped suddenly asunder, and Bababalouk fellfloundering like a turtle to the bottom of the bath. This accidentoccasioned a universal shout. Twelve little doors till now unobservedflew open at once, and the ladies in an instant made their escape, afterthrowing all the towels on his head, and putting out the lights thatremained.
The deplorable animal, in water to the chin, overwhelmed with darkness,and unable to extricate himself from the warp that embarrassed him, wasstill doomed to hear for his further consolation, the fresh bursts ofmerriment his disaster occasioned. He bustled but in vain to get fromthe bath, for the margin was become so slippery with the oil spilt inbreaking the lamps, that at every effort he slid back with a plunge,which resounded aloud through the hollow of the dome. These cursed pealsof laughter at every relapse were redoubled, and he, who thought theplace infested rather by devils than women, resolved to cease groping,and abide in the bath, where he amused himself with soliloquiesinterspersed with imprecations, of which his malicious neighbours,reclining on down, suffered not an accent to escape. In this delectableplight the morning surprised him. The Caliph, wondering at his absence,had caused him to be everywhere sought for. At last he was drawn forthalmost smothered from the whisp of linen, and wet even to the marrow.Limping, and chattering his teeth, he appeared before his master, whoinquired what was the matter, and how he came soused in so strange apickle.
“And why did you enter this cursed lodge?” answered Bababalouk, gruffly.“Ought a monarch like you to visit with his harem the abode of a greybearded emir who knows nothing of life? And with what gracious damselsdoes the place too abound! Fancy to yourself how they have soaked melike a burnt crust, and made me dance like a jack-pudding the live-longnight through on their damnable swing. What an excellent lesson for yoursultanas to follow, into whom I have instilled such reserve and decorum!”
Vathek, comprehending not a syllable of all this invective, obliged himto relate minutely the transaction; but instead of sympathising with themiserable sufferer, he laughed immoderately at the device of the swing,and the figure of Bababalouk mounting upon it. The stung eunuch couldscarcely preserve the semblance of respect.
“Aye, laugh my lord! laugh,” said he, “but I wish this Nouronihar wouldplay some trick on you; she is too wicked to spare even majesty itself.”
These words made for the present but a slight impression on the Caliph,but they not long after recurred to his mind.
This conversation was cut short by Fakreddin, who came to request thatVathek would join in the prayers and ablutions to be solemnized on aspacious meadow, watered by innumerable streams. The Caliph found thewaters refreshing, but the prayers abominably irksome. He divertedhimself however with the multitude of Calenders, {79a} Santons, {79b} andDervises {79c} who were continually
coming and going, but especially withthe Brahmins, {79d} Faquirs, {79e} and other enthusiasts, who hadtravelled from the heart of India, and halted on their way with the emir.These latter had each of them some mummery peculiar to himself. Onedragged a huge chain where ever he went, another an ourang-outang, whilsta third was furnished with scourges, and all performed to a charm. Someclambered up trees, holding one foot in the air; others poised themselvesover a fire, and without mercy fillipped their noses. There were someamongst them that cherished vermin, which were not ungrateful inrequiting their caresses. These rambling fanatics revolted the hearts ofthe Dervises, the Calenders, and Santons; however the vehemence of theiraversion soon subsided under the hope that the presence of the Caliphwould cure their folly, and convert them to the Mussulman faith. Butalas! how great was their disappointment! for Vathek, instead ofpreaching to them, treated them as buffoons; bade them present hiscompliments to Visnow and Ixhora, and discovered a predilection for asquat old man from the Isle of Serendib,