I had no idea who she was, but manners prevailed when my mom pinned me with her answer correctly look.
“Hi.”
She beamed at me as if I’d just agreed to be her new BFF and then returned her attention to my mom.
“Okay, Mrs. Lancaster, right this way.”
We were ushered inside and about to walk past the bar when I spotted him. He was standing at the counter watching the television that was mounted on the back wall.
I stopped in place, and as my father ran into me, he cursed, “Shit, Addison.”
That was the moment that Grayson saw us.
It was the first time Mr. McKendrick met my parents.
* * *
Present…
Doc snaps my attention back to him with a sharp click of his fingers.
“Addison, as adults we become burdened with different kinds of responsibilities. When do you believe we are ready for that?”
Once again, I find myself sitting opposite Doc as he tries to pull from me the answer he seeks. He does this, as always, by asking questions I don’t give a shit about.
Tick, tick, tock.
How am I supposed to know about adult responsibilities when my only examples have been so quick to abandon all of theirs?
That isn’t the real question here. No.
The real question, disguised so poorly by the adult in the room, is age.
There it is.
Only three letters, yet it’s a word so big that it can ruin a career, tarnish a reputation and destroy a life. Forever.
“He was thirty-two.”
His age.
“You were eighteen.”
My age.
“That wouldn’t be illegal, except...”
Tick, tick, tock.
He’ll be waiting a long time for me to finish that statement.
I have time. He doesn’t. Doc needs me to talk. To trust him with all of my secrets and all of his because without those words, they have nothing. I look this adult in the eye, and he knows. He isn’t going to get anything from me.
I know where my responsibilities lie, and it’s nowhere near him.
Chapter Nine
Past…
I could tell by the way he glanced at the door that Grayson’s first thought was to run. I guess I couldn’t blame him. It was my first thought too. But while he wanted to run to the exit, I felt the irresistible urge to run to him.
He was dressed in dark jeans and a red shirt with his hair pulled back and tied at the nape of his neck. Everything about him appealed to me—including the flash of paranoia that crossed his face, so subtle only I noticed.
Knowing he had no immediate means of escape, I turned to my dad and stated clear enough to penetrate his alcohol-induced mind, “That man over there is my new history teacher. I’m going to go and say hello, if you even care.”
My father, I guess I could still call him that even though he’d checked out of our lives a little over two years ago, stared down at me. “Don’t talk to me like that, Addison.”
“Yeah, whatever.” I paused and looked back to where Grayson was paying for a pizza. “I’m going.”
“Addison, get back…” he tried, but his words faded as I made my way through the tables. I reached the end of the bar just as Grayson turned to exit.
“Well, tonight just got a whole lot more interesting. Hello, Mr. McKendrick.”
* * *
She appeared untouchable. So immaculately put together that she almost didn’t seem real. Her curls hung loosely over her shoulders, and her mouth was painted the same color as the rosy blush tinting her cheeks.
Taking in the rest of her ensemble did nothing to alleviate the heat spreading through my veins. Standing in front of me was a walking contradiction.
Wearing a pink summer dress with short sleeves that cupped her shoulders, Addison should have represented sweet, innocent even. However, the words that left her mouth, and the eyes that found mine, were anything but.
I was losing this battle.
As I stood beside her with her parents making their way over to us, I made sure my focus remained on her face.
“Hello, Addison. I see you’re here with your parents. Hi, I’m Mr. McKendrick, Addison’s history teacher.”
I held the pizza box out in front of me to stay at a distance and angled my body away from hers. Her mother, an attractive lady in her early forties, gave me a much more thorough once-over this time around. When her eyes came up to meet my own, recognition dawned.
“Ahh, yes. Now I remember. You were at the track meet yesterday.”
With that wonderful reminder, I became light-headed.
Am I really standing here doing this? Discussing the track meet with Addison’s mother as if I hadn’t watched her daughter orgasm only inches away from me?
I felt like I was going to throw up.
“So you’re new to the school?”
The deep, skeptical voice broke through my paranoia. Nodding my head at who I assumed was Addison’s father, I confirmed his question without having to speak. Thank fucking god.
“He’s traveled all over Europe. Greece, Rome…” Addison’s voice washed over me, but I blocked it out when cool fingers touched my own where they were holding the pizza box. Addison’s mother.
“Have you, really? Where else have you been, Mr. McKendrick?” she asked conversationally, but her regard and touch were beginning to make it more than obvious where Addison’s confidence came from.
Usually, I could list the cities in order of each visit, but with Mrs. Lancaster still touching me, I was rendered speechless. I stepped back, more than ready to escape this awkward little run-in, and knocked against the bar as I searched for a way out.
As I did, I caught Addison in my line of sight, and the way she was looking at me had my palms sweating and my cock hardening in a way her mother’s touch hadn’t.
I needed to leave, right fucking now.
“Well, it was nice to meet you both,” I lied and pushed my way past the family. “I hope you have a good night, and I’ll see you on Monday, Addison.”
I made my way through the restaurant and out the door, knowing my behavior was probably coming off as odd.
Fuck.
Angrily, I kicked a rock that was on the pavement and this time, cursed out loud. “Fuck!”
A couple dashed past me and exchanged nervous looks before rushing inside.
Just great, that’s fucking fantastic. Now they think I’m crazy too.
I walked to my truck, pissed off with myself and the entire situation I had gotten into. Tonight needed to be over with.
The sooner the fucking better.
* * *
“Well, he seems very nice.”
Yes, I’d noticed how nice my mom thought Grayson was. It’d been obvious as she’d fondled his hand in front of my father.
“How would you know, Sandra? You said all of three things to the man.”
They argued their way back to the table, and I made an impromptu decision. “I’ll be right back. I need to use the restroom.”
My mom looked at me, and for an irrational moment, I thought she could read my mind, until she said, “I’ll order chicken for you.”
Not caring in the slightest, I made a beeline for the restrooms. At the last minute, I ducked out the side door and saw Grayson climbing into his truck.
Running across the dark parking lot, I called out to him just as he was pulling his door shut. “Mr. McKendrick!”
Will he talk to me? Or just leave?
One, two, three.
When the truck didn’t rumble to life, I scanned the area I was in and moved closer. He pushed the door back open and I had to crane my neck to see him.
“What are you doing out here?”
He was furious, but at the same time, his eyes betrayed him. They were blazing hot, and it had nothing to do with anger.
Licking my lips, which suddenly felt dry, I placed a hand on the side of the door. “Meet me later.”
“Are you fucking insane?”
Good question. Am I? I didn’t think so.
“That’s not a no.”
Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he looked away and said, “Well it’s not a fucking yes.”
One, two, three. One, two, three.
I waited for him to turn back, but when it was clear he wouldn’t, I whispered the one thing I knew would get his attention. His name.
“Grayson?”
Just as I suspected, he responded, speaking so softly I had to strain to hear him.
“Go back inside, sit down with your parents, and eat your dinner. You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
As that last condescending sentence met my ears, the fact that we might get caught disappeared from my mind. I put a foot on the step bar of his truck and held the door, pushing myself up within inches of his face. He moved away so abruptly it was as if I was poison, but that didn’t deter me.
“Don’t kid yourself. I know exactly what I’m asking for, and you know it. Look at me.”
“Go inside,” he demanded with a tense jaw.
“I will. After you look at me.”
Reluctantly, he turned his head, and when our eyes met, I dared him to do something I knew he wanted, but hadn’t given in to.
“Look at all of me.”
* * *
Nothing had prepared me for this. Nothing could. This was a moment that wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t allowed to happen.
With my hands wrapped in a death grip, I finally gave myself permission to really admire her.
I started with the chestnut hair that brushed up against the creamy complexion of her skin. It seemed to go on forever as my eyes trailed down her long, elegant neck and took in all that her dress displayed—and it displayed plenty.
The way the material gathered under her breasts framed her chest almost as well as my hands would. I brought my gaze back up to find her watching me, and the fire I could see burning there convinced me that she was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted.
“Meet me later.”
“No.” My response was simple and to the point. If I said too much, I’d end up doing something stupid.
“Two-thirty-two Maplewood Drive.”
I waited as she stepped down from my truck.
“That’s my address.”
Shaking my head in disbelief, I asked, “And what? I’m just going to knock on the door and ask if you’re home?”
The smile that tipped her lips up at the corners was impish, almost cute. It was the glint in her eye that was pure sex.
“No. But you might want to drive by later tonight and imagine me upstairs in my bedroom, the window to the far left. I’ll be thinking about you.”
“I’m leaving,” I stated, finally saying something fucking sensible. I started up the truck and reached for the door handle.
“Grayson?”
Mentally exhausted, I demanded, “What?”
Stepping away from the truck, she smiled. “Enjoy your pizza.”
Good thing she’d reminded me. Within the space of five minutes, I’d forgotten all about the damn to-go box sitting on the back seat of my truck.
* * *
Four hours later, I was making my way down Maplewood Drive like the fucking idiot I was.
I hadn’t meant to drive over there. I’d gone home, eaten my pizza and downed two bottles of beer. My mind then wandered back to my father—You want her heart? Go and take it—and I started to convince myself he was right.
That was before I turned down her street and drove past her parent’s large, two-story house. It was close to midnight when I glanced up to the far window on the left side and watched in disbelief as a light illuminated the room.
Shit. I turned off the headlights and then realized how stupid that was since Addison already knew my truck.
While trying to decide what to do next, I felt my heart almost stop when the light shut off. A muted glow then lit up the center arch of the house, and a figure made their way down the interior staircase.
Put your foot on the gas and go, I told myself, but as my car idled just off the side of 232 Maplewood Drive, I saw a side door open. Under the porch light stepped Addison—still wearing her pink dress.
I could hear my breathing as it came quicker in the thick silence of my truck, and just when I thought I knew what to expect, she slipped into a long, white coat and looked at me over her shoulder.
Follow me, she mouthed.
* * *
I darted down the side of my house then looked back to the road where his truck remained. He hadn’t sat idle. The headlights were back on.
Got you, I thought and pushed open a small wooden gate that led to an alley between the houses. With a final glance at the man I somehow knew was looking at me, I disappeared to the other side.
As I made my way down the familiar path, I raised my arm and placed my watch to my ear—tick, tick, tock—yes, there it was. It would remind me when I needed to be home.
This wasn’t something new for me. Sneaking out of the house, making my way down the quiet, shadowed alley. When bright lights lit me up from behind though, I thought, that is new.
He was following me.
Adding an extra sway to my hips, I made my way to the end of the alley, and when I got there, I spun on my toes and watched the truck pull to a stop. He wasn’t too close, so I crooked my finger, inviting him closer.
That was when the truck started its slow crawl forward.
Tipping my head back, I laughed into the night sky and practically skipped out to the street. I turned to the left and started to walk faster as the truck pulled out behind me.
After passing the large oak tree on Blackwood Drive, I trailed my fingers along three wooden fence rails until I reached the final mailbox and made a right. Again, I tried to see him through the blinding headlights, focusing on the place I knew he’d be sitting.
With an extra bounce to my step, I crossed the street and walked on the footpath that lined the main road leading out of my subdivision.
I knew exactly where I was going. I’d done it every Saturday night for the last two years. I just hadn’t done it quite like this.
Stopping on the side of the main road, I looked across the four lanes of traffic. From where I was standing, I could barely make out the sign that was illuminated by two floodlights, but I knew exactly what it read.
I checked to the right and then to the left where his truck had pulled up beside me. Grayson rolled down a window, and as he peered out at me, I resisted the urge to raise my arm and press my watch to my ear.
He frowned, confused, while I grinned. For the first time, I saw everything clearly.
With him, the ticking had stopped.
Chapter Ten
Present…
Tick, tick, tock.
“Do you know what day it is today, Addison?”
Here we go again, but today I can’t bring myself to step inside his office. I see Doc sitting in his usual chair and I anxiously smooth my hands down my thighs.
Of course I know what day it is. It’s the day Daniel…I can’t even think it.
“Why don’t you take a seat?”
He seems as uneasy as I am.
“Addison?”
I don’t answer, but that’s nothing new. I don’t want to be here today. I don’t want to be anywhere.
“Please, Addison, come inside. Sit with me.”
I press my fingers to the outside of my legs but otherwise remain unmoving.
“We don’t have to talk, okay? We can just sit.”
I wonder if he really means that and if the concern in his eyes is real. It’s probably paid for concern.
“It’s okay to be sad, Addison,” he tries to reassure me.
He raises a hand and beckons me to step inside. Every day, he tries to get me to give something that I no longer have inside me. Trust.
“Is that how you feel, Addison? Sad?”
Tick
, tick, tock.
With the black shadow looming, always threatening to swallow what little emotion I have left, I finally put an end to today’s session.
“I feel nothing.”
* * *
Past…
I peered out at Addison as she watched me from the side of the road and then inclined her head.
Squinting, I tried to make out the words on the sign. I couldn’t read it from where I was, and before I could ask, Addison was crossing the street.
Stay or go? Well, fuck. I’d come this far, what was a little farther going to do? Lead me down a path straight toward temptation? I think I’d already made that decision when I’d driven over to temptation’s house.
With the roads deserted, I drove out to the middle lane and then continued into the drive of—Oakland Cemetery.
What the fuck was going on? And where the hell was Addison?
Deciding enough was enough, I turned the truck off and pushed the door open.
A cemetery. I had to admit, this was not what I’d been expecting when I came to her tonight, and yes, that’s what I had done—come to her.
I could feel my confusion changing to concern when I realized I hadn’t seen Addison since she’d run out into the street.
What if something had happened to her?
Stepping outside, I slammed the door and made my way around the front to the passenger side. There were no floodlights on this side, just a perimeter fence and darkness.
Straining to see, I finally gave in to my apprehension and hissed, “Addison.”
My heart thumped so hard, I counted each pulse it made while I waited for something—anything. When I got no response, I tried again, feeling the panic start to take ahold of me. “Addison.”
Sometimes, as I was about to discover, panic of the unknown can be more comforting than panic of the known.
“Yes, Grayson?”
Just like that, with those two words, Addison sealed our fate and I did nothing to change its course.