Read Vices Page 26


  Chapter 24

  And then we lived happily ever after, the end.

  But not really. Honestly, I can’t tell the future. I can hardly even understand horoscopes and the mumbo jumbo of reading tarot cards. I will admit though, back when Chinese restaurants existed, I would believe in that sliver of paper wedged in between those fortune cookies. I’m really more of the type to just go with the flow and see where and if I come out on the other side.

  We spent the rest of the day enjoying one another’s company and talking. Talking about life, talking about family, talking about old friends, and just enjoying the sound of each other’s voices. We don’t just talk about solid things either, we talk about the world and how it works. We talk about the way we’ve lived and even a little bit about how we hope to live in the future. It was probably one of the most relaxing days I’ve had in years. I finally felt safe, comfortable, and more alive than I’ve been in years.

  I will admit though, there were some stray kisses received and given here and there. I can’t help it. I may have lived through a world-wide apocalypse, but life and all its little enjoyments must continue on, because if we stopped our onward trek, we’d really be the ones to bring about the end.

  It feels odd, you know, being close to a person when for the past five years I’ve been nothing but in solitude. To feel the warmth of another’s skin next to your own, to hear a laugh ring out due to the words you’ve spoken, to feel at home just sitting next to a person who could potentially be the world to you, those things are what really make me feel alive again.

  I don’t know what it is about Kael, but he makes me feel right. He makes me feel whole.

  I’d previously thought that my life would always be an empty shell of something that should’ve been much greater, much fuller of life, but now things are actually starting to look up. Call me naïve for clinging to something so small, but it’s better to cling onto a blade of grass than nothing at all. And hey—when the world ended, all my hopes and aspirations were blown to smithereens. So really, I’ve made a complete 360. I guess things may not be as grim and hopeless as previously thought.

  I’d like to think that my life will be full of love and peace, but I’m not so naïve to think I won’t have to fight out of the darkness to finally see the light. I know I’ll have to do everything in my power to help the Guild or the Degenerates, whatever you want to call us. At least I know one thing, and that’s that deep down in my heart, in that churning little chasm that used to hold an undying love for my life and my family and friends and especially for Zeus, that all of that love is expanding out into the recesses of my heart that had once held hate.

  When you feel so low as to think you’ll never be able to swim to the top and look up at the sky and see beauty in the twinkling beads of stars and not just the remnants of a past that was unexpected, unwarranted, and completely cataclysmic, a growing, shifting, whirling feeling of impending doom seems to shroud your every thought, but when a new light is brought into your world, things become, what I’d call, special or maybe even hopeful.

  If I’ve learned anything from my life so far, it’s that I cannot allow myself to just sit back and watch life pass me by. I can’t just allow the greedy and the selfish, those who commandeer life and bring an end to innocence, those whose only wish is to sit back and watch the world burn, prosper and receive everything their dark heart desires. They deserve nothing and I hope they get less.

  Just like those brown branches in those swaying trees back in the park I used to find solace in back when I was still just a child at heart, I will grow out and reach for the sun. Like the waxy grass-colored leaves, I will shield those I love from the storms that come our way and soak in the light of life. Most importantly of all, I hope that I will lay down roots as dense and everlasting on this earth and that when my children’s children hear about this dark world I lived in, that they do not forget about what has happened. I hope that when the summer comes, they bow their heads in reverence for the billions of people whose lives were distinguished like a flickering flame.

  For there is one thing I know and that is if we do not respect one another and do not see each other as individuals with rights and with beating hearts and with dreams as vastly immense as our own, that we will never truly be able to live in a world that is not fraught with war and with pestilence and greed. And believe me: living in a world that is so densely shadowed by such an immensely dark past isn’t easy.

  But hope is not lost. I know it is not. You know when it strikes me as being the strongest? When I am close to this man, this man who I’ve known for days, yet feel like I’ve known for years. I do believe in inner peace, but now I feel that peace should not exist only within yourself, but with the world and those who inhabit it. Holding this feeling close to my heart, this feeling of hope and of peace, I know that my future can be as bright as the blue eyes that I lay next to as I try to fall asleep.

  As I lay here, thinking of my future and of the things to come, I know that things will never be the same. I know that my mother will never be able to gripe about how unclean I am or that my father will never be able to cry at sappy romance movies with me. I know that I will never be able to have slumber parties with my friends or rough house with my cousins in ways that caused my distraught aunts to yell at us with venomous tongues. Worst of all, I know that I will never be able to lace my fingers between Zeus’ feathers and scratch him in that perfect spot that would always make him crow in delight.

  I will always remember them and I promise that from this day forward I will live in their honor. I will remember not only the good times, but the bad. I will remember the hurt feelings and the many nights filled with raucous laughter.

  As I lay here in these arms that seem like a wall of protection to me, I see what I’ve been waiting for. I see a person, a man, who is not only determined and ambitious, but passionate and true to himself and to his life. I can feel his stubbly chin against my forehead and I know that I wouldn’t move away from this spot for anything else in the world.

  Hey--before I keep getting all sappy and crap with you guys, I’d like to get back to more important matters.

  Earlier in the night Kael told me of their latest findings. Evidently Kane is also their go-to man for doing some much needed sleuthing and apparently he’s been digging up some information with his hacking skills and even a little bit of fieldwork.

  There’s to be a gala in the next year, a gala that will be celebrating the victory the government has achieved. Apparently it will also be commemorating the guards who lost their lives in the process. The guards. And you know, if you’re a human being who has any moral code whatsoever left, then you would not be celebrating what’s happened here. You would be clenching your fists and doing everything in your power to bring justice to those who showed no mercy.

  According to Kael, we have a lot of meticulous planning to do in the next couple of months if we want to crash the party of the year, but I think it’ll be worth it. But the work can wait a day, right? I’m far too comfortable to even think about moving a muscle.

  About the Author:

  Amy Solus is a student studying English at some small Midwestern Liberal Arts school. She’s a lover of getting angry over hockey and spending her time outside in the company of good friends.

  You can check out her blog at amysolus.tumblr.com.

  The sequel, Visage, will be released sometime in 2013.

 
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