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So I stand up and say, “You’re late for dinner. Better get going. ”
Matt nods his head and I turn around to walk out of his office, more confused now than ever over my feelings. Yes, Matt handled the whole ‘dinner with Lorraine’ thing badly, but I also learned that he has no romantic interest in her as I thought.
And I keep dwelling on the fact that Lorraine said Matt did nothing but talk about me during said dinner. In fact, it led Lorraine to believe that Matt and I were in a relationship.
Maybe it was possible that Matt did have feelings for me, but he just didn’t know how to act on them?
“I know I’ve told you once already, but you really are stunning tonight,” Cal says.
I smile and thank him because, yes, I remember the appreciative look in his eyes when he picked me up at my apartment a bit ago. He raked his eyes down the form-fitting red ball gown I was wearing—yes, red is apparently my color and the gown was compliments of Macy again—and told me how beautiful I looked.
I felt like a princess tonight, but the only problem was… I wasn’t with my prince. As the days ticked down toward the Gala and my date with Cal, my mind kept filling more and more with thoughts of Matt.
Should I have trusted him when he went to dinner with Lorraine? Is it really that big of a deal that he wouldn’t divulge what was actually private firm business? And most importantly… did he have feelings for me? Something more than just the passion we shared between the sheets?
“So what do you think?” Cal asks as he sweeps his arm out toward the ballroom. I look around, taking in the setting. Heavy crystal chandeliers hang over the room, dimmed down to just a soft glow. Large tables seating eight are parceled around the room, ladened with bouquets of lilies. An orchestra is playing music, and the dance floor is filled.
“It’s amazing,” I tell him.
And it is.
It’s just… I wish I weren’t here. Cal seems like a really great guy, and I can’t find a single fault with him, other than the fact that he isn’t Matt. Which is f**ked up, because Matt is just not cut out for what I ultimately need to be satisfied long term.
Sometimes, when you obsess about a desire long enough, it can magically appear before you. As if I had been secretly wishing for it to happen, and maybe I had been, I hear Matt’s voice say, “Mind if we join you?”
Looking up from my seat, Matt is standing there, resplendent in a tailored tuxedo. His gaze flickers back and forth between Cal and me, not paying too much attention to me. Then I notice he’s not alone. A lovely, statuesque blonde is beside him, her arm tucked into his elbow. She’s wearing a black concoction that showcases a tiny waist and huge boobs. She’s utter perfection. How can I ever compare to that?
Cal doesn’t look pleased to see Matt, but he stands for introductions. “Sure… it’s open seating so help yourself. I’m Cal Carson,” he says to the blonde as she shakes his hand.
“Melody,” she says in a sexy purr, and I hate her and her cursed sexiness.
She doesn’t turn to me or even acknowledge me in any way, so Matt takes it upon himself. “Mel… this is McKayla. She’s an associate in our firm. McKayla, this is Melody. She’s a partner over at Weinstein Fannerty. ”
Melody turns her baby blue eyes my way and gives me a nod of her head. I do the same and envision poking her eyes out, but my nails aren’t long enough, nor are they perfectly manicured the way hers are.
Matt chooses to take the seat next to me, and Melody sits beside him.
“You look nice tonight,” Matt says as almost an afterthought to me.
Nice? Cal said I looked stunning and beautiful. What in the world is wrong with me that I long for a man that says I look nice?
“Thanks, Matt,” I tell him pleasantly. “You clean up well yourself. ”
He gives me a wide smile and then turns his back on me to talk to Melody. I reciprocate and turn to Cal, making it my mission that I’m going to give him a chance, and I’m going to find something within me to let Matt go.
The most obvious thing at this point is to get away from Matt and the dangerous pull he seems to have over me. I suggest to Cal that we dance, and he is all over that. He leads me out onto the dance floor, and we sway to a slow song. We chat about work and politics, and he even tells me a funny story about his dog. He’s great.
Really, really great.
So why are my eyes intentionally seeking out Matt’s every time Cal spins me around?
They’re seeking him out because Matt’s eyes are glued on me. I noticed it like a slap in the face the first time Cal twirled me that way.
He’s talking to Melody and her back is to the dance floor, but he’s watching me dance with Cal. And I can tell he doesn’t like it. Even when he stands up from the table and steps a few feet away from Melody to make a phone call, his eyes stay glued on me.
But I’m not sure if he doesn’t like it because he has feelings for me or because he just seems to hate Cal, but yes… he is definitely not happy at this moment.
When the song ends, Cal walks me back to the table, as dinner will be starting soon. Matt is sitting there alone, and he guardedly watches us as we walk toward him. As soon as Cal holds my chair out for me, his phone rings and he gives me a sheepish look as he takes it out of his pocket. Looking at the number, he frowns and says, “I’m sorry… this is an urgent call. Excuse me. ”
As Cal walks away, Matt stands and takes my elbow. “Let’s dance. ”
I have no choice but to walk with him, but I wouldn’t want any other choice. I’m a freakin’ moron for pining for his touch, but I’ll take it any way I can get it.
“Where’s Melody?” I ask.
“Off powdering her nose or whatever it is that you women do when you have to go to the restroom. ”
“I believe it’s called peeing. I’m sure she’s just peeing,” I tell him, and Matt rewards me with a bright laugh as one arm goes around my waist and the other cups my hand.
“Ah… Mac,” he says wistfully. “I’ve missed your crazy humor. ”
My heart flops over, because I don’t get many glimpses of light-hearted Matt Connover. I feel immensely happy that I made him laugh, and I can’t help but snuggle in closer to him.
Matt leans his cheek against my temple, and we dance silently for a few minutes. He breaks into my thoughts by murmuring, “You look amazingly and fantastically gorgeous tonight. Every woman in this room pales next to you. ”
“Even Melody?”
“Even Melody,” he confirms. “By the way, she’s just a friend. We went to law school together. ”
My night just keeps getting better and better. “So, you’re saying I look better than just… ‘nice’?”
Chuckling, Matt says, “That’s all I could say to you in mixed company. I don’t think anyone would understand an employer calling his employee ‘amazingly and fantastically gorgeous’, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Totally agree,” I whisper, and I let the music and Matt’s arms carry me away.
“Mac?” Matt says near my ear.
“Hmmm?”
“Leave with me right now. I need you, and it’s killing me not to be with you. ” His words are harsh and urgent. He sounds like a man in pain, and I pull my head back in surprise to look at him.
His eyes are molten, his look serious. He wants me… desperately, and, unfortunately, I want him, too. How can I say no? There’s no way I’m saying no, because I’m an idiot, but I’ll be a well-fucked idiot come sunrise.
Then it crashes in on me. “I can’t… I’m here with Cal. ”
Matt spares a glance over at the table and confirms that neither Cal nor Melody are back.
“Make up an excuse,” he urges me.
My mind is blank. “Like what?”
A devious grin forms on Matt’s beautiful face. “How about fake a bout of diarrhea? I heard that worked well with Lorraine. ”
My mout
h hangs open for just a second, stunned that he knew about that. “What? How did you know?”
Matt gives me a particularly quick spin on the dance floor while he laughs at me. “Everyone in the office knew about it, and people think you are incredibly clever. ”
A smile breaks out on my face, and I laugh. “It did work nicely. ”
Matt suddenly releases me and pushes me in the back toward the edge of the dance floor. He leans down and whispers. “Now go. Make an excuse. I’ll ditch Melody and meet you at your apartment. ”
I turn to look at him, trying to gauge if he’s really serious.
Yes… yes, he is. I see it in his eyes.
I try to take internal stock of my feelings. I’m going to give myself one last chance to make the right decision for my sanity and for the health of my heart. Am I going to give in to this… my desire for Matt and what he’s offering me right this very minute?
Yes… yes, I am.
I nod at him and say, “I’ll meet you at my apartment. ”
I start to walk away but Matt grabs my hand, pulling me back to him so I’m close enough to hear him murmur. “Don’t plan on getting any sleep tonight, Mac. We have a lot to make up for. ”
My tummy feels like butterflies are flying around inside, so it won’t be a complete untruth when I find Cal and tell him I need to leave because I’m having stomach problems.
It’s been ten days since Matt and I have been together in an intimate sense, and I feel like an addict in desperate need of her next fix. I hit my apartment, thankful that Macy is out on a One Night Only date, and start pacing around.
What should I do? Light candles? Put on a teddy? Strip naked?
The doorbell rings, and I yelp in surprise because I didn’t expect Matt so soon. I was able to cut away from Cal pretty quickly with the old stomach bug excuse, but I figured he might need a few more minutes to make a polite excuse to Melody.
I open the door and there he stands, looking exquisitely handsome with a hungry look on his face. He steps toward me, and I back up.
He keeps walking and I keep backing up, in pace with his stalking. His eyes roam over me as he shuts the door. He keeps sauntering toward me as he takes off his jacket and lets it hit the floor. Next comes his tie and then he’s loosening his cuff links, all while hunting his prey.
Except this prey wants to get caught, so I stop walking backward and wait for him to push all up into my personal space.
He doesn’t disappoint, coming to stand flush up against me. His gaze is searing… electric, and I can feel it down into my toes, in my br**sts, and yup… right between my legs.
“First time’s going to be quick,” Matt warns me, his breath coming out in a harsh pant.
“Works for me,” I tell him, taking pleasure in the flash of lust that overtakes his face.
His hands reach down, grabbing the tight material at my thighs. I can feel him grip the dress and pull it slowly up until it settles around my waist. He glances down, and I follow his gaze. I watch with anticipation as he fingers the lacy material of my panties at my hipbone, and then he rips it away. The force of his move is sudden and causes me to jerk, then gasp, and then his hand is between my legs as I moan in sweet surrender.
It’s all Matt needs to hear before he’s lifting me up and pulling my legs around his waist. He takes three steps over to the wall that separates the living room from the kitchen and pins me against it. While keeping me held up with one strong arm, his other goes down to his pants, and he makes short work of the button and zipper.
And then he’s shoving into me and my body melts around him, because just seeing him in my doorway made me ready
“God… you feel so good,” he says through clenched teeth, and he just holds still for a second… savoring the intensity of this moment, his face pushed into my neck. I can feel his breath, rapidly blowing out and sucking in, almost as if he’s fighting for control.