“Fabulous, then I don’t have to explain.” She handed me the container. I guessed it was my turn. I carry on as she did and hand it back to her. Not even ten seconds later, I could already feel the drip at the back of my throat. I sniffed and swallowed, damn this shit was strong. My face felt numb, my eyes watered, and I rubbed my lips together. My surroundings became brighter and clearer, and I could feel my perceptions sharpen. I downed my wine in one sip. Suddenly, I felt comfortable and confident. Madam was smiling. She was always smiling.
“Good, huh?” She asked.
“Yes, I feel better. Thank you.” I replied.
“Madam knows best, trust that too. Now…that we’re pretty and polished, we should get going, the driver awaits.”
The limo ride was quiet. Madam spent most of the ride talking on her phone. I didn’t understand a word of what she was saying, it sounded Italian. I thought about nothing and everything as I stared out the window. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I was sure if I had looked in the mirror, all I would see would be black irises. I couldn’t help, but watch my Madam, her mannerisms and demeanor, she exuded wealth and beauty. She was everything that I wanted to be.
I wanted to ask so many questions. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to know who she was, where she came from. She was such a mystery to me, like a puzzle that wanted put together. She said I could ask her anything that I wanted, I was too new and didn’t want to seem eager. I wished she would voluntarily tell me these things without my asking. My thoughts were racing as much as my pulse was. I was fucked up. I started playing with my hair, a nervous habit from early childhood. Fuck it, I had nothing to lose. She came after me. I didn’t go after her.
“Lei è in per una vera delizia. Mmm hmm…Ciao.” She hit end on her phone.
“I can hear your thoughts all the way from over here, Bella Rosa. How about you share?”
“I was admiring you. You’re so put together. It’s inspiring.” I boasted.
“And…”
“Well…I don’t really know much about you. Other than what you do. I mean…I’m not trying to be nosy or anything. Just curious.” I said, fidgeting with my fingernails.
“It’s rude to not look someone in the face as you talk to them, Ysabelle.” That immediately made me look up. I recognized that Madam called me by my name when she was upset. I didn’t want to make her upset.
“Much better. There’s not much to know. I’m not married. I don’t believe in it. I have seven beautiful girls that I consider my own. I live and breathe VIP. I travel, I love, and I live. Period. Exclamation point. Anything else?” Ok…let’s try this again.
“Madam, with all due respect that doesn’t make me know you anymore than the driver.” I said, smiling, trying to ease the tension that I’ve created. I saw it on her face and just like that it was gone. She was back to Madam, for that one second I could sense she was trying to determine how to approach me.
“I mean, you know everything about me, without even my consent if I may add. I think it’s only fair I get to know you. Don’t you think? I’m putting a lot on the line for you. I don’t know you, yet you want me to unconditionally trust you, mentally, emotionally, and especially physically. You could be a murderer for all I know and you’re just trying to butter me up. You can understand that I may have concerns?” I tried to sound confidant, thank God cocaine has that ability to do that for you.
“I love this. Where has this Ysabelle been hiding? It took exactly three days for you to stop being a pussy. I’m sure my friend Blow has some influence over that. That’s what she’s good at.” She poured us champagne and handed me a glass.
“You and I are a lot a like, Ysabelle. I believe that maybe one of the reasons that I chose you. Despite your pitiful upbringing, you have a lot of fight in you. I admire that. I don’t need weak woman working for me. This is a tough industry. You have to have the capability to fuck, without remorse. No love is involved, Ysabelle. This isn’t a Pretty Woman knock off. Do you understand?” I sipped my champagne.
“I understand. I don’t have a problem with that. You see Madam, I don’t believe in love. To me it’s a Hallmark holiday. I don’t need it and I don’t want it. I’ve been on my own ever since I can remember, my pathetic excuse for a mother taught me one thing and that’s to rely on myself. I have the capabilities, as you say; to do whatever the fuck I put my mind to.” She smiled.
“Bella Rosa, Darling, my Beautiful Girl…this is the beginning of a lovely relationship. If anything else trust in that. The rest will come.” I nodded. I did trust her, for whatever reason, I trusted her.
We arrived at a gate that opened for us without being buzzed in. Someone was expecting us, I presumed. We pulled to the entrance and my door was opened for me. I took the gentleman’s hand and let him help me out. I waited for Madam, who quickly took my arm and escorted me inside. We walked through an entrance that was just as impressive as Madam’s. A man who could have been George Clooney’s twin immediately greeted us.
“Welcome,” he offered, kissing Madam on both cheeks.
“Gabriel.” Madam smiled, so this is Gabriel.
“Let me introduce you to, Ysabelle.” He leaned forward took both my hands, and kissed my knuckles.
“You are a beauty.” Madam and him quickly exchanged looks, as if they were speaking some silent language.
“Bella Rosa, I am going to excuse myself, please make nice. Gabriel do you mind catering to Ysabelle? How about you two make nice.” She said, with a wink of her eye.
“Not at all. It would be my pleasure.” He looped his arm within mine and led me towards a terrace. I couldn’t help to look back at Madam who was smiling with a huge grin. Was this a test?
“I have heard a lot about you, Ms. Ysabelle. Madam has high hopes for you. In my history with her she’s never been wrong. What do you think?”
“You mean you’re not going to think for me?” He laughed.
“No love, I like my woman like I like my liquor…smooth and easy.” I laughed. I couldn’t help it, he was funny.
“Then you’ve come to the right place, I hear I’m in the business of being easy.” We reached the terrace. I noticed that he left the doors opened. I walked over to the balcony and admired the view.
“This view is breathtaking.” I felt a solid chest behind me moving my hair to the side.
“You’re breathtaking.” He retorted, as he kissed the side of my neck, nipping on my earlobe with his teeth.
“I thought I wasn’t allowed to come out and play yet? Aren’t you breaking the rules?” He turned me, roughly to face him.
“You heard that, huh? Let’s pretend you didn’t.” He grabbed the back of my neck and traced the edge of my lips with his tongue. His breathing was erratic and heavy.
“You have the most amazing lips. They were made for dick sucking. You know that right? You and your amazing dick sucking lips, I think we should prove that theory. You want to suck my cock, Baby?”
“Actually,” I said close to his ear in a raspy whisper, “they were made for tantalizing, for pleasing who I want them to please. Don’t get me wrong Gabriel, I think you would be very please-able. You are a very attractive man, and hmmmm, you smell fucking amazing,” I said, letting the cocaine over dramatize my performance. “However, we do this on Madam’s terms first, and then mine. Do you understand, what I am saying to you Gabriel?” I asked, letting my fingers dance on the back of his neck.
I fucking stunned the hell out of him. I think he was under the assumption that his control would over power my own, and he would have me eating out of his hand in no time. Wrong. I didn’t work that way, well, unless Madam told me to work that way which I highly doubted she would. She didn’t work that way either.
“Gabriel,” I heard Madam’s voice, as he pulled away from me. “You’re not trying to intimidate my girl, are you?” She asked, smiling the proudest smile ever at me.
Madam walked over to me and circled my waist with her hand, spinning m
e back to the stone wall. She never once told me what to do. She placed her hand in the center of my back and I rested my hands on the wall. I had no idea what the hell she was up to.
“Would you like a sample, Gabriel?” She inquired, sliding my dress up my hips.
“You know I would, Madam.”
“I think we can oblige, but just a taste,” she said in her low powerful tone that mesmerized me.
“Would you like to know what heaven feels like, Gabriel?” Madam provoked, as I felt her pull the elastic of my panties to the side.
He never answered with words. It was more like a grumble or something. I turned slightly to see him standing to the left of me. He made the same rumbling noise as I felt his fingers glide down my wet folds. He rubbed me back and forth and fuck did it feel amazing. I wanted to come. I’m not sure if it was him, or his fingers, or if it was Madam watching, hell, maybe the cocaine even played a part. I don’t know, I do know that I wanted release. I wanted it so bad. He became firmer and more demanding, and then suddenly he forcefully pushed two fingers into my pussy, I yelped and moaned simultaneously.
“Fuck, she’s tight. I can barely get two fingers inside her. Are you sure she’s not a virgin, Madam?”
“I’m sure. Now you need to stop finger fucking my protégé. You know the rules Gabriel, no pay no play.” She reached for his wrist and pulled him away from me. I felt my panties being replaced and my dress being put back into place. Shit, I didn’t want him to stop.
We had a nice dinner, very expensive wine, and I sat amazed listening to the sophistication of their conversation. The room reeked of money and decadence. I sat by Gabriel who wouldn’t stop staring at me. It was a bit intimidating at first, then I just played into it.
I grabbed the cherry that was in my drink, brought it to my lips, and sucked on it while my fingers played with the stem. I lifted my eyes in a seductive way to see him and he was entranced with my mouth.
I heard him clear his throat and I subtly laughed. He leaned over to whisper in my ear.
“You’re teasing me.” He hissed, hearing the desperation in his voice.
“Is that what I’m doing?” I coyly answered, “here I thought I was eating a cherry. Would you like my cherry, Gabriel?”
“Badly.”
“Well it’s been in my mouth, I’ve licked and sucked on it.”
“I’d like to put something else in your mouth.” He reassured.
“Now now…is that anyway to talk to a lady? Where are your manners?”
“They stopped the moment I felt your g-spot.”
“Maybe if you play your cards right, you’ll get to feel it again.” He grinned and pulled away from me and I continued to assault my cherry.
We drank one more glass of wine before Gabriel walked us out.
The drive back in the limo was quiet. I gazed out the window unaware of where Madam’s eyes were.
“Go ahead, Darling. You deserve it,” she finally spoke.
“Excuse me?” I said. I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. Did she think I had something to say about what happened? I didn’t. I was fine with it other than I still needed relief.
“Remove your panties and take care of your ache,” she ordered.
I sat up a little straighter. “Um…that’s okay. I’m fine,” I tried.
“Ysabelle, I thought that we had an understanding. When I order you to do something, I mean for you to do it. Anytime I tell you to do something, it is never up for debate. Can we please get this under control now?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I sat staring with a stupid stare with my mouth agape.
“Ysabelle…remove your panties and please yourself,” she ordered again. I swallowed and slid out of my panties. I started to run my fingers down my wet throbbing pussy. I moaned instantly. This situation made it feel so fucking intense. I knew it was the fact that my Madam was sitting right beside of me. I didn’t think the intenseness could be stronger than it was. It could. Madam moved from beside me to in front of me, placed her hand on my knee and spread me more.
Her face was so intent, so serious as she watched my fingers affectionately dance around my clit. My eyes never left her face, and hers never left my pussy.
She did look up to my eyes as soon as I whimpered. Fuck. I was going to come.
“That’s it, pretty Baby,” she spoke, as I brought myself to bliss, staring directly into her eyes.
Chapter 10
They say time heals all wounds. That’s a bunch of bullshit. It didn’t matter how many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, or seconds went by. I couldn’t get Olivia out of my mind. I couldn’t stop blaming myself. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her face, heard her voice, or felt her touch. She was ingrained in my soul.
Not one day went by where I didn’t think about her. I regretted everything and I feel nothing. I spent the last year of my life drinking, partying, sleeping around, and studying. School and life became my way of living. I kept my mind occupied on getting through the day. The one regret that I had the most that never seemed to go the fuck away, was the fact that we were never truly together.
She consumed my thoughts and my dreams. I wished that I could go back and just deal with the fallout, let what would have happened just be.
“Mr. Vanwell.” I heard as Professor Wills called, interrupting the rant in my mind.
“Yes?” I replied, looking up.
“Would you like to elaborate on our discussion?”
Shit. I had no clue what the hell he had been saying for the last thirty minutes. That’s because, the only thing in my mind was Olivia.
“Sorry, I guess I was a little distracted.”
“You seem to be distracted a lot, lately. Maybe you should review your options and decide what is really important to you.”
“No, no. I’m fine. I’ll pay attention,” I lied. I couldn’t pay attention. I couldn’t stop thinking about Oli to save my life.
“Hey man, you coming over to Andrew’s party? You only turn twenty-one once.”
“Yeah, I’ll stop by.”
I walked out the double doors straight into the New York winter. Damn, I missed Florida. This 20-degree weather was frigid.
I reached the party a little after midnight. I had met up with some friends prior to the party to get slightly fucked up before arriving.
I walked into the smell of beer and weed. I had never been much for drugs, that didn’t mean I wasn’t around it.
“Seb, damn man you finally made it. I was beginning to think you forgot about me.” Andrew said, handing me a shot.
“Nope, wouldn’t miss it.”
I hung out with the boys for a few more rounds of beers and Tequila shots. The blunt was being passed around and I was so fucked up that I didn’t realize that I had it on my lips until I inhaled and started coughing up a lung.
I heard laughter all around me, “Virgin lungs, you pussy. You gotta cough to get off.” Tony stated.
“Fuck” cough “you.”
“Take one more hit and then puff puff pass, brother.”
I was entirely too fucked up. I needed to go lay down. I found the first room I could find and toppled over on my back. I stared at the ceiling for God knows how long contemplating life until I heard my phone ring.
I grabbed it from my back pocket and saw Julia’s face.
“Fuck. I can’t answer you right now, Babygirl.” I clicked decline and a text message came through seconds later.
J – What are you doing? I miss you. I want to talk.
I really tried to reply, I couldn’t see the keys if my life depended on it. I tried anyways until I heard a giggle. I looked up and saw a blonde that I recognized from my Business Law class.
“Hi.” She chuckled walking over to me and lying beside me.
“What are we looking at? You seemed lost in thought.” She said with a smile.
“Oh you know…a little of this…a little of that.” I answered with a grin.
She turned her
head to look at me, “You want to know what I’m thinking about?”
“Why not.” I breathed out turning to look at her.
“I want to suck your dick.”
You would think this would surprise me, except this wasn’t the first time this had happened. Girls in college were easy. It didn’t take much to get them to spread their legs. I’m not trying to sound like a cocky bastard it was the truth.
I did what any normal man would do. I let her suck my dick.
I grabbed the back of her head with both hands while she deep throated me so far in the back of her throat I thought she might throw up. She had no gag reflex and sucked me like a fucking pro.
It usually took me forever to come when I was drunk, within minutes she was milking my dick with her hand until I came. She went as far as to swallowing and saying you’re welcome.
This is what my life had become. I had completely lost myself. I continued on like this for the next few years. I didn't care who the girl was, if she was willing to fuck and suck me, I was game. Maybe it was a decoy; maybe it was my way of coping. Whatever it was, it became me, defining someone I wasn't.
<>*<>Y<>*<>
Where is that noise coming from? What the hell is that? I moved my arms to where I heard the noise. I didn’t want to open my eyes. Damn what time was it? Thank God it stopped. I rolled over and made myself comfortable once again. Not even a minute later and I heard the doorbell. Damn it. I woke up stumbling and opened the first drawer of my nightstand. Intending to fine a t-shirt, but all the drawer seemed to have was nighties. I grabbed the first one and put it on over my head as I walked to the door. Before I even reached it the door opened on it own.
“Thank you love, yes right over there by the breakfast bar.” Madam ushered the man with a tray of every breakfast food designed by man.
“Good morning, Bella Rosa.” It’s morning, it seemed more like early dawn to me. I smiled. She had to learn by now that I was not a morning person.
“Darling, good to know that you still look just as amazing in the morning as you do when you’re put together. That will come in handy. Come on don’t dilly dally the long day awaits.” She said, as she smacked my butt to get me to move.