“Grace. I’m not sure, but I don’t like what I’m thinking.” Connor looked up at her, real concern in his face.
“What?”
“Martial law, abandoned Air Force Bases, Japanese relocation camps, slaughter house design-”
“The bombing...” She covered her mouth in sudden shock. “The Muslims.” She staggered back. “Oh my God. Auschwicz!”
“Another Holocaust.” Connor said solemnly. “A Muslim Holocaust.”
“No. This just can’t be. We’ve got this all wrong, Connor. All wrong.”
“Maybe...once I have a chance to go through the rest of these docs, we’ll know more.”
“This can’t be real. It can’t be.” Grace was speechless.
“Auschwicz.” Connor said quietly.
“Oh my God, Connor. Death camps? Here?” She turned away from him, the shock beginning to envelope her. The copying had finished, and Connor began exiting through the menus to leave the slate as it was found. He pocketed the tiny black square, and handed the slate to her. She looked dazed.
“Here. Put it back exactly where you found it.” He followed her into the office and watched as she shakily crawled under the desk and replaced the slate. He helped her up, scanned the room to make sure that all was as it was, turned the light off, and closed the door making sure it locked. He took the key card into the bedroom and replaced it in the Koran. Once again he scanned the room, and satisfied, went back to Grace. “Look, I know you’re shook up, but we’ve still got a job to do. We have to get you up there ASAP. You need to get dressed right away. You don’t have to say anything or do anything once you get there, but smile and wave. But you need to do that extremely well.”
“I can’t...I won’t.” She exclaimed. “You can’t make me go to him...that monster...I won’t.”
“Come on Grace. I need you to pull it together. You have to do this.”
“I won’t! I tell you.”
“Grace!” He raised his voice to her for the first time since they had met. It had the reaction that he expected. She stopped fighting him. “Grace.” He said quietly. “I need you. Are you with me?” She nodded. “I need you to get in there and get dressed right now. Can you do that for me?” She just stared at him. “Can you?” Her eyes came back into focus. She looked at him for a moment and nodded. “Please hurry.” He said, gently moving her towards the bedroom. She entered alone, and once across the threshold, stood thunderstruck in the middle of the room. She looked around as if in a fog. He called from the other room. “Grace! Please get dressed!” She heard him, but she felt so heavy, so tired, so lost. Slowly she began to dress, and soon was ready to leave, but stopped in the bathroom to take two more pills from the bottle on the sink, swallowing them with a handful of water from the sink.
As she left the bedroom, Connor noticed how unsteady she was on her feet. He carefully helped her towards the door. He was rock steady as they walked down the hallway towards the elevator, and if not for her firm grasp on his arm, she would have surely fallen. When the elevator began to rise, the sudden movement made her stomach flip over. She realized now, too late, that she may have taken too much of her anti depressant medication, and certainly the wine had not been a good idea. When the elevator came to a stop, she felt it lurch, and as she stepped out, side by side with Connor, the hallway began to spin. She tried to speak, but the words would not form in her mouth. Her tongue felt thick, and disconnected. She stumbled, but Connor caught her.
“I can’t.” She tried to say to him, but even she knew the words were unintelligible. She felt her legs soften beneath her. He held her full weight.
“Grace, what’s wrong?” He asked, but he already knew. He hadn’t known how much of her meds she had taken, or how much wine she had drank, but he had to know what he was seeing, she thought. He’s a good man. And I’m a mess. Out of control. Pathetic, Mason had said. That made her begin to cry. She was oblivious to where she was now as the world continued to swirl around her. She could no longer hear Connor as his words became more frantic. She did not feel his hand as it wrapped around her wrist to check for her pulse. She did not feel his finger as it slid into her mouth to clear the vomit that was choking her. And breath after breath that he pumped into her lungs, meant nothing to her. His strong hands compressing her chest in rhythm was wasted on her. She had gone on now. It had all been too much for her to take. Too much to face, in the end. No need to struggle any more, the thought whispered through her mind. Just relax. Embrace. Just glide into the next world. Glide gently and peacefully from what was, to what will be. Begin again. Begin anew. Reborn in the Kingdom of Heaven. Our Father which art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, in Earth as it is in...
Chapter 23