* * *
Today it is on beautiful Saturdays of June and this morning, even if Alice doesn't work, we wake up soon there. It threw some wind but the day you/he/she has immediately appeared me pleasant and the sun, that from you/he/she has immediately heated the air, it was of a particular hulling, that hulling that only in June it is possible to admire here on the lake.
Shared life asks alone for the different attentions in comparison to the way of living but I has not stopped cultivating my passions and, as I often do, I/you/they are gone out to race.
I race only still, it is always my form of meditation, but if it happens me in the run to cross Alice that also races her alone, I greet her/it saying her «Toh, the girl that laughs!»
And she smiles really in that way, all now exactly the same: that famous fresh smile that has made me surrender.
Inserted the shorts and turned on the reader mp3, I have looked for the usual one" the vida Lives" and when I have found her I/you/they have departed. I have gone with ample falcades and to read toward that road that, with 4 kilometers of comfortable curves, it conducts in the place in which more than every other hook to pass my leisure time. The wind was marvelously in favor and you/he/she is not taken a lot it because the definite but deprived push of work of my legs helped me to reach the destination; shortly time I/you/they have arrived.
All so simple appears and at the same unbelievable time when landscapes are observed as this. To observe then the life from the tall one, offers the advantage to clearly gather the contours and the particular ones of that sketch, very greater than we are able to gather, what time sure am it exists. It is a sketch that from places as this can be realized.
But him, after all, the vida live!
Also when it becomes hard and unbearable, also when the disenchantments and the bitterness come sudden as an abrupt nighttime awakening. Also when the pain and the weeping rouse us and they reach us.
After all on a lot of things you/he/she has always been right Mr. Mario: you/he/she Khan be striven us to pick up confirmations on the motives for the trip or on the destination, but then he risks to lose all the particular the landscape that races us before and it is ended up ruining the whole aroma the whole taste. Perhaps life is as a necklace of precious pearls that flows us slippery from the hands: you/he/she cannot be grabbed, neither you/he/she can be stopped her/it and to study its details with academic precision.
However you/he/she can be lived with passion, and if he/she succeeds us every thing it becomes very beautiful, inexorably marvelous, sopratutto when he becomes in degree to feel that rhythm of foundation the primordial melody, that produces the same life.
The vida live!
Speaking of Mario, in the living room, suspended next to the couch, I have put the Japanese sword that has left me in the will. It is an authentic object, a thing of value, and I don't miss to polish its blade with a specific oil and to dust its lining with diligence. Once Alice has made me notice that you/he/she will end that I will take care me more than that object that of her, but I have immediately specified her that won't happen. A dry fist has planted me on the shoulder however.
By now I am not able it stuffed nothing, it is a vice that I won't succeed in getting away, but even if it will make me come the fury calluses to lead you/he/she has become me a nice constant and me there I/you/they have accustomed.
The music is returned my principal passion, after all I have always known that our sudden divorce would not have lasted for ever, I need too much of her to separate me of it.
I like the new job, even if it hocks on Saturdays and almost all the Sundays. I will be for example tomorrow here in the sporting center of a near country to observe a meeting of the championship interregionale. You/they have given me a label identificativo of that my qualification attests" employee press": I admit that an exaggerated thread is seemed me, but I won't miss to tell that game as I try to make every time, that is writing with an ending pathos of it of" Champions League." Journalist label or less, I have decided to take back the university studies, to give the examination of journalism and to enroll me in the order. I have been preparing me for months, well aware of the fact that cannot be improvised us if he/she is wanted to develop a work with seriousness, but that rather it needs to acquit his/her own profession with skill and scrupulousness, sopratutto when he becomes father of family.
Already because Alice is pregnant and you/he/she has revealed him/it to me with a naturalness that would have been able to kill myself yesterday.
Say the truth have not done anything to have been avoiding him/it for one month to this part, but has been the same folgorante when, removing himself/herself/itself the shoes just reentered from the office, has exclaimed «Paul have made the test, accipicchia compliments! Have won one hundred stings, have made her to the first hit! We expect a child!»
Self-acknowledged that had the news has come me to cry, even if I would not know how to clearly define the motive. In every case for once I/you/they have succeeded in preserving a crumb of masculine behavior and I have not been upset, nevertheless I am me due to sit.
I will be father, but for absurd the future I don't fear him/it more as when I felt me an incompetent and I didn't have the least ability to determine what I wanted from the life. The idea to have a child with which to speak then some doesn't frighten me a particular.
I believe that this evening I will phone all to divulge the news.
To Henry I have told last night already him in web cam. It studies architecture to Bologna and internet it is by circumstance become our solo channel of communication. I have not understood yet as to a line has departed him the inspiration to continue the studies, moreover in house, but when you/he/she has decided you/he/she has been so determined that to the whole best solution you/he/she is seemed to subsequently encourage him/it. It maintains alone practically him with the job of waiter that makes in the evening, but mine often unhook him (also thanks to my insistences) of the good extra contributions to which him of certain he doesn't oppose. It doesn't lose an examination my brother, and I have to admit that with the time I am accumulating a respect for him that I would ever have thought about reaching.
Mine also know that will be grandparent, and even if my father is seemed some surprised by the fact that everything has happened so in hurry, I am sure that you/he/she is happy.
My mother I would not know, when it will stop crying from the emotion I will ask her what he/she thinks of it. It seems that has stabilized somehow their precarious equilibrium of couple, in every case, I know that I don't have to take care of me of it and that every relationship goes from itself and of fact it is not comprehensible to the outside, sopratutto if observed too nearby by a point of view and partial as that of a child.
Also Henry is convinced of this.
I will have to call Gianca and I am curious to discover with what fierce wisecracks he/she will greet me. For now alive alone in Turin because it has to take care of with devotion that the starting of" Fantasy world 2" goes according to his/her expectations. The car the good Gianca is also changed, and now that the business of the first shop travel to swollen sails, you/he/she has not hesitated to lose heart himself/herself/themselves in the risk of a new activity. Moreover it seems that for a certain category of women has suddenly become very interesting.
To become rich selling statuettes, almost absurd.
Chicken has remained with Alvaro to Cesenatico, where president or segretario,o it is simple member of thousand organizations ludiche full of members. clients that find again him to play to the war with weapons that shoot plastic little balls or simulated to fights of swords or magic or to build modellini of auto in wood with which to launch him for dangerous descents. You/he/she can be found everything this to" Fantasy world" and also more, so much that you/they have confided me that after Turin their dream would be to sound the ground to Florence or to Perugia with the purpose to install a hypothetical" Fantasy world 3."
; I succeed in being happy for their success without warning anybody envy for the good economic condition that you/they are reaching, but he/she anchors I am not convinced me that the people, in times as these of crisis that never passes, spends money to dress himself/herself/themselves from elf or from dwarf.
To every way this is the confirmation that I have never understood there nothing of business.
To David the news I warmly hope to be able to give her/it tomorrow. It has to have been coming for a week to regulate me the boiler, but only when I will perceive the white furgoncino of the" Curti Termo-idraulica" to arrive fast in the street where we now live I can believe us.
Australia after the death of Mark is far progressively for him redoubt to a simple space whether to cry the friends that are not more and to remember with nostalgia those that are still there. So much was worth to return.
Therefore David has returned, but just as you/he/she had foreseen Mark you/he/she has never denied his/her decision. It says that one day will perhaps go again down there us and that meanwhile now some English that never spoils speaks. He more than me sees Chicken and Gianca and the strange couple again you/he/she had thrown within also him in one some false war that he/she was fought by the parts in Milan. Obviously the excitable Zinzi he is too immedesimato in the simulation and later, to have slaughtered with a gust of eighty little balls a guy that distava less than five meters from him, have been worthwhile with the two organizers that you/he/she would have been better perhaps to start over fishing or at the most to grant him some innocent game of calcetto on Wednesdays evening.
Thinking of us, only and sweaty quassù, seems almost that the young air of this blue lake contains a new pleasure today, a message, a best expectation. The times as this in which I reflect on the speed of the changes that I/you/they are alternated recently, I don't miss to record how much my life of now tracings quite a lot that that had undertaken Mark; even if by now I have understood that the unpaid houses, the relationships that become projects, his/her children that are born and they grow, the friends that take proper roads and the maturity and the awareness that it buds within you without not even realizing are tappe of the life of million of people over that of us; they are the notes common of the human kind.
Certain times I would like to be able to die, but only an instant, correct the time to rouse that precise of Mark and to see how if it passes her/it. I like to believe that I/you/he/she am in a beautiful place of it and that even I/you/he/she look us at all from far, with his/her analytical and blue eyes and with a new smile of understanding for all how much our futile banalities.
Clear that mine is only an idea and nothing of all of this can probably exist, but from different time I am learning anymore to not pormi the problem and to hope, simply to hope.
Of certain there is that I still have expectations as everybody and ambitions of happiness in the norm, I have at times always my a little realizable dreams, my a little bearable duties and my worries inaffrontabili but the basic substance of me, my intimate part, it turns today better decidedly.
Some special people have helped me to understand that it is not true that the days that count in the life are at the most an about twenty, but that rather, every minute of the trip is precious to be tasted.
In every case then: the vida Lives!
My name is Paul Orlando and the morning of June when it finishes this history I am from not too long twenty-eight years old, a tattooed knot on the right arm, three unbelievable friends, a woman that I love, few certainties on as it will be my run, a lot of less restlessness in comparison to some a long time ago and, altogether, still a healthy confusion in head that however I don't care a lot to have and that everything ago also company.
I don't live in the anxiety and for this anymore I never forget to thank those people that have taught me the most important message.
Thanks, I have learned him.
It happens unfortunately that some guests, the best, leave even the party on the most beautiful without giving a minimum of warning. You/he/she must be accepted, because" happens", just as Gianca it said; and it doesn't need to be afraid of it, because certain bonds survive forever in the gestures and in the words of the men that have interwoven them.
I know well that the events change and they are modified, and that that today I live as one period of stable serenity, this kind of fable in which I am me, risks every day to get high himself/herself/themselves completely.
After all enough a thread of wind to change the horizon, but this is not a good motive for to wait wound in the fear that the worse happens.
I could certainly relapse us, and to take back to distress me the whole life in the search of something that I even know what both, I could keep on tormenting me for the episodes of fierce pain that it is our turn to live, to again shake on every action, on every footstep to be completed, on every effort to be done, and to complain me for, what doesn't have explanation, that doesn't have solution; yet I finally feel to have understood that it would be only wasted time.
Because in every case, anything happens us, that want him/it or less, with us or without us, anyway the wind blows and it will always keep on blowing...
The author
Luca Attrattivo was born to Angera, in the province of Varese, in 1981 and alive to Laveno Mombello, on the Most greater Lake. Graduated in sciences of the rehabilitation, it develops the profession of fisioterapista and it pleases him in the writing.
"The vida lives" it is its novel of debut.
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