This is a work of fiction. All the characters, organizations and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously.
To my wife Laura. Thanks for always being there for me.
CONTENTS
Note From Author
Dedication
Prologue
Early Background
Current Times
A New Day
Great Escape
Rude Awakening
Taste of Metamorphosis
The Corn Field
Closing Remarks
Part Two
Opening Dialog
NMASA Headquarters
Sidekick Is Back
Trouble Spotted
White Trash Gertrude
Back in Waycross
Santa Clause FEMA
The TV Interview
Glossary
About the Author
Other Books
Connect With Author
Note From Author
The first ten minutes of Idiocracy genuinely resonated for me, a movie that depicts the stupider people taking over the world and what becomes of their triumph. The reason for the morons’ success is an absence of natural predators, an ample food supply, and a pastime where the imbeciles excel...breeding.
Most I’ve talked to who confess to seeing Idiocracy have had the same general reaction: “This could honestly happen!” Subsequently, after watching the movie a second time, some individuals, like me, have taken our revelation one bunny hop further: “This is actually happening!” My inspiration for scribbling out this novel begins with Idiocracy, that and the actions and events now rolling out before our very peepers...let’s hope the present is just a blip for the history books. But enough about those minor issues...now, on to what is really important...me.
My sojourn into writing began many moons ago, in the 60s, before long hair, marijuana, surfing, driving and girls had come on the scene. The 60s was an era when the musical duo Simon and Garfunkel, the television show Kung Fu and the comedy hour of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In were in vogue for teens my age. It was before Woodstock so you were either a jock, hoodlum, cool, uncool, popular, a wallflower, a nerd, or a brainier type who took Latin, while the rest of us took Español.
I was sitting at my desk peeking out at freedom from a third-story window, the tardy bell would have already sounded followed by the English teacher closing the one and only door of escape. I was a straight-A student at the time, so it wasn’t like I hated school...just English.
The hour slowly ticked by as the red second hand of the wall-mounted Simplex chronograph advanced with that hesitating, analog motion. As the minute hand closed in on the end of the period, Mrs. Goldberg announced she would be reading a short story from one of her students; someone in one of her five classes who deserved meritorious mention.
Mrs. Goldberg started reading the paper and I still remember thinking, Wow, that’s really kind of killer...I wonder which goody two shoes wrote it! It wasn’t until the second, or third paragraph into her monologue that I realized the teacher was reading my paper...a short story on the final thoughts of a convict waiting to be taken to the electric chair or gas chamber. Macabre I know; nevertheless, that was what I assessed the homework assignment called for and besides, as a preacher’s kid I probably believed I was a prisoner of sorts at the time having to give up every Sunday for church activities, which invariably took away an entire day of fun. Anyway, being put in the spotlight for that moment had never happened before, and therefore resonated with me and became one of my notable memories.
I still call to mind the pride I felt as the classroom listened in stony, near-riveted silence and what’s more, everyone in every one of Mrs. Goldberg’s classes was going to be forced to listen to my brilliance...Yea! My conclusions had to something like, I will finally be recognized for something! Sadly, that was not to be the case. What notoriety that might have arisen that one day was gone...gone before I realized it, but the instance led to an idea that I might have a knack for writing, a revelation I promptly deep-sixed, a far-flung memory that would resurface a half-century later.
Now on to why I have decided to write about liberalism in an Idiocracy-like way.
My reason for writing WTF! This is a Liberal Utopia! is my belief that the today’s ‘moderate’ can be reached through humor, humor that is provocative and gets them to see ‘the light.’ Those in the middle need to know why the geniuses on ‘the left’ are wrong and why we can thank most of their ideas and policies for this great booming economy of ours, for putting the comic and his entourage in the White House, and for turning the country up on its noggin.