Saying goodbye to a part of my life.
13
Augusto Belmonte
It is the sixth night then I can not sleep. This is becoming a habit that I refuse to accept. But it is difficult when all I need most is a person. And she refuses to look at me.
I try to convince myself that I did the right thing coming out of his life, however, this is not the easiest thing to accept when all I need is more of it in my life. Even if it kills me every second, knowing that she can move on, I try to believe that is the best.
But every day she walks past me and acts like I had never been in his life, is a punch and a reminder that I lost forever. But I can not do anything about it. She accepted what I gave her no objection.
I nights wondering if I had somehow weakened the strong, determined and intelligent woman who is Juliane. But it did not take much to know that I'm an idiot for thinking so. Juliane would not lose his balance by an idiot like me. It is stronger than the pain I caused her. His education tells me that every day she does her job efficiently.
But I do not see the brightness that was there every minute. And that's my fault. Once again their confidence in the world was shaken by what I did to her. And it was not just the lie, but also for having spoiled one of the things she cherishes most in the world.
Your job.
I always saw the dedication and love that she gives for her work every day. It's your way of compensating for the lack feeling of family. Giving all the good that it has, to not feel so empty when I got home.
If I could only get one minute of her attention, I would say I love her more than I ever did in my life.
The folder noise falling to the ground scares me. And I who dropped it.
I Love? That's what I thought? That echoed in my mind was: I love? Of course yes. Of course it is. Sure already knew that, but I just wanted to ignore to let her move on. But as I am now when I know the more deeply I need it?
It is to see ships because it is a fool who did not know how to do things the right way.
I did not do anything different from former bastard Juli. I did worse. I lied to her, broke the confidence she placed in me. I chose the job instead. I chose to have life dull and monotonous, instead of joy and madness that was to be at his side.
I lived something new in these weeks with her. Something I never thought to try. Even if he was always measuring my steps, did not prevent me from feeling and enjoy your free spirit would give me. His infectious smile, his way to take it all on the bright side, the tranquility to solve the most difficult and complicated things just moving on your phone. Your crazy obsession with heroes. I never imagined that having a girl explaining to me several alternative worlds could be so fascinating and exciting at the same time. The way she is true to herself at all times.
And innocence. As good to take her innocence at every opportunity I had. Juli can be the nerd girl, as she likes to be called. But she is fiery and passionate. I could take every chance I had to prove it. To be inside her, to feel the fire that it hides very well emerge in bed or on the couch. Or anywhere where this fire consume us.
She makes me lose control just to smile. As breathing. And when she touches me, even in the simplest way, I can not handle.
But I'm not anymore.
Not even his indifference. That showed me that she was still feeling. Even if it's anger and disappointment, but she still has feelings for me. But this week, she did not even look at me.
All lead to believe that I lost.
When I found out that Paula did, I felt ... disappointed. But it did not even a third of what I felt when I saw Juli crying my fault. Knowing that I've caused those tears, it was certainly something I never want to feel. I do not like the idea of her crying. Unable to cherish it and say it's okay.
Without being able to be with her in my arms saying that I am with her and nothing else will happen.
A knock at the door startled me and brings me back to work. I look at the clock on my computer and I see that they are two of Wednesday afternoon. I only have two more days before Juli take a vacation and go home to their parents.
- You may come in.
Katia enters the room all smiles. I still can not figure out what to do with it. I know it was she who did Paula come here. I know she somehow found out about me and Juli. I know she did it on purpose to hurt my Juli without any remorse. I do not know what she earned from it. Nothing, unless you take the shine Juliane has shrew and managed. But I still have things to do with it. And it will not take long.
- Just missing his signature. - Katya hands me some papers and a thank you card I think.
- And what would that be?
She smiled dismissively.
- The roles are the dismissal of Juliane and the card is our thanks to her for the years of service.
I do not think I heard right. Dismissal of Juliane?
- What did you say? - I ask rolling papers.
She did not need to answer me.
Paid vacation.
Without previous warning.
All duties paid.
Juliana Guedes Couto de Alcantara.
Step by Katia so fast, she even loses his balance when I go out of my room. With hard steps and more than angry, I go to the Duarte room, and own all the eyes on me. So I'm in your room, I see that he is on the phone. Staring at me, Duarte must have realized that I already know what he and others hid from me.
- How to allow this to happen?
He stares at me and crosses his arms over his belly.
- I can not do anything about it, I asked her to take off vacation and thought, but Juli has already made her decision. - He nods at the papers in my hand. - I can only give her everything she has the right and a good letter of recommendation. - He sees me sad. - If someone is more lost with her decision, I, Augustus. I'm losing a daughter and two arms.
I do not know what to say. And if talk is just taking the blame to be taking the thing Juli likes this life.
- There must be something we can do. It has to be a way to make her change her mind.
- Nothing will make me change my mind.
I turn to the door to find Juliane with papers in their hands.
She is beautiful. Her hair is tied in a ponytail at the time of his neck. His glasses in a new frame, does not hide its beauty. His black jeans shaping your body from the waist down. The blue blouse squeezing his torso, leaving his bulkier breasts.
- You signed the papers? - She asks asking the papers. - I need to take them to the HR today.
Seeing that I will not give her the papers, Juli of the back and hands in his hands to his head.
- I talked with my former manager, he showed me four of his trust and have already given one given in the list and left only two, which I know will be of more use here.
Duarte takes the papers and smiled at her.
- Even when you're leaving me, you take care of me. - He takes her hand and kisses Juliane. - Will you make me a lack girl will leave this here, crazy without you.
She squeezes his hand and kisses her as well.
- And I'll miss to take care of it all here, but it's past time changes in my life. I need to expand my limits.
- And you'll get it, honey.
She turns to me and smiles.
- Later step in his room to get the papers signed. - She turns to Duarte. - I'll be ready in ten minutes.
- That's all I need to hear.
Said that she leaves the room without any ceremony.
- I'm taking Juliane for the farewell lunch, for sure, I will not return until two in the afternoon. - He gets up and grabs his wallet and car keys. - I know you're upset for not telling you, but it was a her request. Others only knew today, when they received the email.
- I have not received any email. - I mean, even if you have a lump in my throat.
- Well, maybe she forgot to add your address.
Or she does not want me to know.
- You know, sometimes there's no way to fix thin
gs at the time it happens. - Duarte to the front of me and pointed out the key to me, he continues. - And in these hours we should run after the injury and fix things. And who knows does not come better than before.
Then he comes out of his room.
I need to do something. I need to do something.
I do not know if I can fix it.
14
Two weeks later.
- MAX. HELP ME ... I'm FEELING !!!!
My brothers and I shouted it with Grinch.
- I've talked to the three stop screaming!
Mom yells from the kitchen, in rebuking. We are three in the huge sofa of our parents room. Cass stretched on one side. Joaquim sitting and I lay my head on the lap of my brother. The three still in pajamas with a huge bucket of popcorn with my profile open Netflix in full morning, a day after Christmas.
And they are not even ten in the morning.
- She reprimands us for being screaming, but shouts to us by shout. Does she know that makes no sense?
My older sister asks putting a piece of popcorn in his mouth. Yes, this is our breakfast. And with good and cold Coca-Cola to follow.
- Mothers never make sense. - Joaquim answers.
We are the three well, as if we have less than ten years. And that's what happens when we are all three together. And it will happen much now that we're together again. These last two weeks have been crazy. With the change then, do not know how I did not kill anyone in that time. But it all worked out. When your Duarte said he would rather make the changes, my and my brother, I just gave the best hug I could.
He certainly avoided a bigger headache. And I do not trust anyone else to bring my little treasures here. not I'm still in my apartment. But I intend that month move there. Mom and Dad still insist that I stay here. And there's plenty of room. The house before the renovation was great. And with the reform that Mom and Dad did, gives to inhabit the entire cast of Teen Wolf. And if that happened, I wanted to be able to share the room with the Alphas twins and then a past in Derek's room.
But I can not stay here anymore. I love my parents, love my brothers, but after so long living alone, independence was. Even though I have always claimed to be alone, my spirit demands its own space.
And I'm not alone. I have the most important people in my life just minutes away. Since my new apartment is just two streets down from my parents' house.
With the help of Leo, I managed to sell my apartment in a week. Sure, the sister of my friend was crazy to move with her husband. Then he joined business with very pleasant. She gave the price I wanted and with the money in my hands, I bought the first one I liked the guy.
It's bigger than my old one, but the kitchen needs only one reform. Otherwise, I'll manage it. My brother fell into the labia of my mother and decided to stay with her. Bianca was also not against, but of course it will help with the expenses.
And this is something that my father and mother always give us headache. The reform was an uphill battle for them to accept our help, now us under the roof of them, will have to help, giving stubbornness shows. But the case of Humberto and Eliza, hardheaded not even describe. But the way my sister is, they will give no time.
My sister even league. She's crazy and whenever you can, will be under the wings of our parents. My parents do not care if they could find a way, we would still have ten years. But I do not want it. I will be yes every weekend with them, and every day of the week as well. Since I'm going into the family business.
No, I'm not doing medical school, the only thing that still know the area is the difference of dipyrone and Buscopan. Moreover, only remedies that are great tongue twisters. I entered the industry because Dad needed a manager for their clinic. And I understand numbers and organization. So why not?
Dad could not stand to work in private clinics that did not give you good conditions for work, and have almost no money transfer. And with the money he has saved along with mom, he decided to risk it and called my brother who, at the time, agreed.
And I was backstage doing what I do best. Clean the house. In two weeks I could fix the entire process of the company. And an agreement with my father, I used what I received termination and invest in the clinic. I know I will not regret. Because besides being something I like, I'm helping my brother and father to do what they like.
Joaquim not wait to get to the big day. There are only a few days to start and we have a great demand for the service. Of course the faithful patients of my father go where he goes. It is not to brag, but my dad is the best pediatrician that this city has ever seen. And with colleagues of my father, who were also feeling frustrated, come along with us, I know we will start with the right foot the New Year. And that's why I'm here.
To not let things desandem. My father is a great doctor, but when it comes to organization, is not his strength. And in our first meeting, I forward the conversation and said that everything is related to administration, will be settled with me. Of course, before making any decisions, I will always talk to them.
That is, I am the Lord Duarte and doctors are the other managers.
When I said this in a message with my old boss, he laughed too. But like the reference. You have a week that I do not talk to him. After all, they were years of companionship that company. It could not end like this. And I'll use everything I learned from him and of course, also ask for advice and opinions when I need.
A nudge in my head makes me go back to the room with my brothers.
- Where I was, young lady? - My brother asks me.
- Here, watching Grinch!
He laughs.
- The film is for four minutes in pause because Cass went to get more popcorn, then you're lying. Come on, girl, say where he was. Do not make me use force.
I roll my eyes at him and sit with his knees to his chest.
- I was thinking how did it happen in the last days. - Take control and turn the film back. - It was crazy, but we did.
My brother puts her arms around my shoulders.
- Of course we can, we have you. - He pinches my cheek. - And I have to tell you, once again, thank you! - Joaquim lays her head on my shoulder. - I do not know if we could do it without you.
I roll my eyes and realizing he pulls my hair.
- Do not underestimate your ability. - He lay in my lap and stares at me steadily. - I'm not the smartest son because I did medicine as Dad.
- And I'm not the smartest daughter because I'm always getting raises and promotions. - Cass says coming up with another bucket of popcorn.
I stare at my two brothers who seem to be in some kind of mental connection.
- You have the two of you. So is the daughter most successful family, and I'm so proud of you, your cow. - Cass hands me the popcorn bucket.
- Is not true.
- Puft of course it is! - My brother is already getting my manias talking. - You are the one that has more experience on your resume, not to say the visa you have. And I can not imagine your bank account today. - Joaquim sits down and pulls me so you can hold me. - But that's not what matters ...
- What Joaquim you mean. - Cass interrupts our younger brother. - It is that we know is the wrong thing to you. - She takes control and turns off the TV. - And we want to know what happened.
She turns to look at me.
- Nothing happened. - Quick answer too. - Just I wanted to be part of the family again.
Joaquim begins to fix my hair.
- You never stopped being, while away, Juli. You know it. - It separates layer by layer of my hair. - And the first time I mentioned to you about Dad's plan, you were excited, but not to the point of leaving everything and going to venture here. And then, days later, you call me early in the morning saying that already have all our neat change along with the tickets. - My brother finished the braid and put my hair gently on my shoulders not to break their work.
- Since when you braid? - My sister and I asked together.
Joaquim grimaces.
- Since I have a
daughter like I combed her hair. But it's not me here. - He calls back attention to me. - Juli, what happened to you change your mind?
- Nothing, I said! - I say with a shrug.
Cass sighs when he takes my hands in his.
- I got a call from Leonardo, days after you get here. - She looks Joaquim who seems to agree to tell me anything. - He asked to keep an eye on you, because there's something bothering you. - She squeezes my hands and the kind look that uses with their little children, she starts talking. - You are different, my sister, even playing and smiling as it does with us, is something that is bothering you. I know that. - Cass takes the strands of hair from my face. - I know you cry at night before bedtime, it has done so since he arrived, I can not stand it to see it and can not do anything. Please, my sister, tell me what's wrong, let me help you. Let us try to help you. - She asks almost crying.
I can not stand. I cry when everything inside me is overflowing. Joachim and Cass embrace me once. Somehow, the two can embrace. By doing so, a brother of sandwich, three of us getting as close as possible.
- Chore, you can cry. - My sister whispers every time a sob explodes. - Take it from within.
Joaquim us loose and goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
- Do not tell Mom, please. - I'm down when he hands me the glass.
Joaquim smiled and then clean my tears.
- She's too busy listening to the stories of her granddaughter. - My brother kisses my forehead. - I'll keep Dona Eliza away until you recover, but as it does not appear, tell me what happened. And I want you to tell me everything.
I tell them. And for some divine intervention, I do not cry anymore, but I can not improve my face. If my mother see me so that's where I will not endure. Because mother is something else. But I am satisfied with the lap of my two brothers.
- If I say I want to kill you, I'll be giving a very bad example for my daughter. And if you said I do not want to kill him, I will also be giving bad example being a liar.
I even smile with your drama.
- I can do it for you, quiqui. - Cass gets up angrily. - What does this idiot think he is? King Black Cocada?