She pressed her hands to her ears and didn't look at him, continuing to rock gently back and forth. She stared forward at the large kaleidoscope built into the wall. It was moving, a rolling ocean, waves tumbling and churning. It was one of the coolest things he'd ever seen and he'd have to ask her how it worked. She was totally focused on it and evidently needed to be. He shrugged, checked his gun and headed outside.
Night was falling, and he preferred to be in the shadows where he could see what was coming at him. Most likely it was one of her sisters. He didn't feel a threat at all, but as always, he remained cautious, stepping back into the darkness, just off the porch. The position offered him a good view of the surroundings as well as the road. He studied the ridge. There was no one up there at the moment, but he expected they would have company soon. The nervous small fires told Lev that Rikki's stalker wasn't a patient man.
He recognized Blythe, Rikki's oldest sister. He knew instinctively that Blythe wielded a lot of power in Rikki's life. There had not only been love in Rikki's eyes, but also a deep respect. Her gaze shifted often to the nose of the other sisters, but not Blythe. She looked Blythe in the eye, which to him meant that she believed Blythe could accept her as she was.
He shoved his gun into his waistband at the small of his back and stepped out of the shadows before she pulled into the circular drive. He bent as if checking a hose and straightened slowly, watching as she got out of the car. She flashed him a quick smile. "I brought food. We decided that until you were up and around, we'd take turns cooking for you. Otherwise, you'd be living on peanut butter."
"That's very generous of you but not necessary. I can cook..."
"Believe me, Levi, it's necessary," Blythe interrupted. "Rikki can't take a lot of change at once. She needs plenty of time to process and get used to the idea. Her kitchen is sacred to her. It took me months to get her to let me inside to get my own coffee, and after I leave, I'm betting she wipes all the imaginary fingerprints off her cabinets and sink."
"You'd be right about that. I've seen her do it." He glanced toward the house. "She's upset right now. She's sitting in her favorite chair staring at her kaleidoscope. She's rocking."
Blythe nodded. "It calms her. We put in wood floors so she doesn't have to use a vacuum cleaner. The noise hurts her and she can't cope with it at all. Fluorescent lights do the same thing, although she says in a different way. And never wear corduroy, it hurts her skin. She's extremely intelligent, never think she isn't, but when she doesn't want to talk to you, she won't and nothing you say or do will change her mind. Rikki's her own person and she has a good life here. It's been difficult for her."
"I hear your warning."
"Are you hearing what I'm saying about Rikki? Before you turn her world upside down, you make very sure you're prepared for what her world has to be. You have a choice. She doesn't. Certain things have to be in place for her to cope."
"Such as?" Lev prompted.
"Cooking. She's not going to be able to handle grocery shopping or cooking. Not ever. She isn't going to miraculously get better and do it for you when you're having a bad day."
"She made me soup," he pointed out.
"She heated up the can outside, not in the kitchen."
"Then she found a way, didn't she?" Lev countered with a small shrug. "Maybe I don't have as much of a choice as you think I do. Rikki matters to me. I can't tell you why or even how it happened, but I've never felt for any woman what I feel for her. I'm not playing her, Blythe."
He didn't ever explain himself, but he felt Blythe deserved something. She obviously loved Rikki and wanted to protect her.
Blythe leaned one hip against the car. "I wouldn't plan any parties. She doesn't like more than one person in her house. And the reason she goes on dangerous dives is because she thinks she doesn't contribute as much as the rest of us, even though she does all the planting with Lexi. She couldn't take the sound of the carpentry work. I wouldn't ever take her near a construction site."
"So sounds can trigger a problem," he mused.
Blythe shrugged. "Among other things." She kept her eyes on him. "It's never going to change, Lev."
He sent her a smile, more a showing of teeth than actual humor. "You're saying she's autistic, but then I already suspected that, didn't I?"
Again Blythe shrugged, watching him the entire time, clearly expecting him to run or explain why he wasn't running.
There was no explaining his mysterious connection to Rikki or how she made him feel--totally accepted without strings, a freedom he'd never experienced. Or how the things Blythe was telling him tugged at his heart. He didn't feel emotion, that was supposed to be long gone from his life. His trainers would be horrified at the way his heart melted over Rikki. He imagined her as a young girl in a world she didn't understand, stalked by a killer and without anyone to turn to, yet somehow, against all odds, she had carved out a life for herself. He looked at Blythe. With this woman. Blythe had stood for Rikki. She'd believed in her. The fierce protection she and the others felt for Rikki was genuine.
"Is it better to leave her alone when she's overloaded?"
"We do," Blythe conceded. "She calms herself down. If you notice, she keeps things around her that comfort her. She has a blanket that helps, but the ocean is her best resource. When she's away from it too long, she runs into more problems."
She leaned into the car and retrieved the food, two big containers that smelled like heaven. He hadn't realized how hungry he'd become. He was going to be hacking into Rikki's files and reading everything he could about her. If she was autistic, she was too high functioning not to have had some help as a child. He needed to read everything he could about her and get a much larger picture of the things that had shaped her life.
"Thanks for the dinner." Lev watched Blythe get back into her car. She still didn't trust him, and he didn't blame her. He was going to take Rikki and make her his. Blythe knew his intentions and she didn't trust his motives.
He took one more slow, careful look around and locked the kitchen door behind him. He ate while he worked, his fingers flying over the keyboard so that he barely tasted the food when he'd been so hungry. Rikki's juvenile files were more easily accessible because the cases involving the deaths of her parents and fiance were still open. Her parents had sought medical help for their daughter around the age of two and a half. She was given both auditory and occupational therapy, which continued until she was thirteen, thanks to a very progressive doctor and a parent willing to try newer approaches. She had a speech therapist for a short time while she was in the state-run facility, but she had violent outbreaks to the point that most instructors refused to work with her. She was labeled as unmanageable and even dangerous to herself and others.
Lev scowled at the screen, shocked at the anger and adrenaline coursing through his veins. He hadn't realized emotion could shake him the way looking at her past had. Rikki didn't make any noise, but he sensed her presence and looked up to find her standing in the doorway, watching him. He closed her laptop and pushed it away from him, looking right back at her.
"I'm sorry, Lev. I don't know what to say, except thanks for the blanket."
"Don't apologize to me, Rikki. Not for being who you are. Never do that, certainly not to me and not to anyone else either. You do whatever you have to do, Rikki. This is your home."
She didn't smile, but simply watched him, holding herself still as if she were waiting for something. "I see my sisters decided to feed you."
He flashed her a grin. "I think they took pity on me. I was looking a bit thin."
Her gaze drifted over his body. "I don't think that was it. You look pretty filled out in all the right places to me."
His eyes met hers and his heart leapt. There was a speculative look in her eyes, one that told him that his kisses had paid off and she was definitely noticing he was a man. "Come in, sit down at the table. You need to eat something."
She glanced at the dirty dishes on the table and sh
ook her head, backing out of the room. "I think I'll go outside and sit for a while. The rain is starting to really come down, and I like to sit on the porch and watch it."
He wasn't certain he wanted her outside without him, but there was no way to stop her. She enjoyed sitting in her hammock swing and listening to the rain at night. "I'll be out in a few minutes. Do you want coffee?"
She shook her head. "Not this late. I have a hard time sleeping as it is."
Lev watched her go out through the front door. She hadn't even walked through the kitchen with the dirty dishes on the table. And she wouldn't eat. He had to find a way to get her comfortable with the idea of eating together. He thought about solutions as he did the dishes and cleared the table. He made her a peanut butter sandwich, chopped up a few pieces of raw broccoli and added a spoonful of peanut butter to the plate. Adding a glass of water, he took the plate out to her, sending up a silent prayer that she'd accept her meal on her precious dish and not get even more upset with him.
12
RIKKI swung one foot back and forth as she swayed gently in the swing, staring out into the gathering darkness. She had no idea what to do with Lev. She'd made up her mind he could stay, but she didn't know how to share her life. She needed a certain environment to live in peace, and yet if she was allowing Lev into her world, it wasn't fair to expect him to conform to her needs. She sighed. She was definitely intrigued by the man, and she felt for him. He was lost and trying to find his way, just as she had been. She couldn't do less for him than Blythe and the others had done for her.
She sighed again. Maybe she'd started out helping him because she felt he needed it, but now she wasn't as certain of her own motivation. She was becoming fascinated by him, almost obsessed--and she could really fixate on something if she was interested in a subject. So far, the subject had never been another human being, but her weird connection to Lev seemed to be growing. She thought about him way too much.
"That's your third sigh."
A million butterflies took flight in the pit of her stomach. She brought up her hand and shook her fingers, blowing on them as if putting out a fire. Realizing what she'd done, she dropped her hand quickly. It had taken years of concentrated effort to stop that childhood pattern of shaking her hands and blowing on her fingers repeatedly. The act was mesmerizing and allowed her mind to focus on the repetitious pattern rather than deal with what was new and uncomfortable. She glanced at Lev's face. Yeah. He'd noticed.
"I wasn't counting," she replied.
"You worry too much." He held out the plate with the sandwich. "I brought you something to eat."
Her stomach lurched. Her sandwich was on one of the plates her sisters had given her. This was the second time he'd used them and she couldn't do it again. She folded her hands in her lap. "I don't ever use those plates."
"Why?"
There was curiosity in his voice, but not anything else she could detect. She frowned, trying to think of what to tell him. She didn't use the dishes because she loved them and she was afraid something might happen to them. It sounded stupid when she thought about admitting the reason aloud. Her sisters had given her the dishes to use and yet, for four years, she'd just looked at them. Keeping the dishes in mint condition seemed very logical until she tried to say it out loud. Even Blythe had objected to her not using the dishes.
She looked up at Lev's face. There was no expression on his face, just a gentle understanding in his eyes. That look set off another round of flying butterflies. She wanted to reach out and trace every line on his face. "I know it sounds silly, even to me it does, but no one ever gave me anything, not after my parents died, and I didn't want to risk chipping or breaking a single dish."
He smiled. Her heart jumped. His smile wasn't amused or teasing or even mocking--it was almost tender. "That makes perfect sense to me. I'll put this on a paper plate for now, and we'll buy dishes we don't care about breaking or chipping. You could put this set in a display case. They'd look beautiful." He looked down at the rim of the plate with the shells and starfish surrounding it, all in white, but obviously handcrafted. "Actually, the entire set is a work of art. It would be a shame to see them ruined."
The knots in her belly unraveled and she could breathe again. She hadn't even realized she was holding her breath. She blinked at the sudden burning in her eyes and turned to stare out at the rain coming down. It was soft still but beginning to fall harder. The storm front was coming in off the ocean and bringing a lot of water--which was needed. Her body felt more together and less likely to fly apart with the rain coming down.
"I'm going to see what else I can use."
"I'll take the sandwich," she offered slyly. She couldn't help it if she couldn't eat the broccoli out here on the porch. Usually she just broke off a piece and dipped it into the peanut butter jar. She scooped the sandwich from the plate and took a bite, savoring the taste of her favorite food.
He grinned as if he were reading her mind, which maybe he was, but Blythe wasn't there to lecture her so it was all good. She ate her sandwich happily. Lev disappeared into the kitchen with the plate and she was left alone with the night. The clouds had dropped the veil of darkness early. She swung her foot in time with the beat of the rain and closed her eyes to absorb the sound.
Her heart found the rhythm, then her pulse followed. She tuned her hearing to focus on each drop. The rain was beginning to fall more heavily, and she found herself hearing the music it always made in her head, drowning out every other noise. She was fascinated by the various tones as the drops hit objects--the rooftop, the trees, cement, asphalt, the dirt. Everything made a slightly different sound.
Share it with me.
She became of aware of Lev, close, so close his body heat warmed her, but she didn't open her eyes. His voice in her head was commanding, velvet over steel, a brush of heat that spread like a drug through her veins. The center of her left palm pulsed as if he'd brushed his fingers there, physically stroking her, but she knew he hadn't. She found herself opening her mind without really knowing how she was doing it, but deliberately sharing her world was a unique experience for her--she wanted to share it with him.
The moment she allowed him fully into her head, it was as if somehow they merged, skin into skin. She felt him inside. Everything feminine in her responded to the masculinity in him. Electrical currents ripped through the heat in her veins and pooled low and hot. She caught images in his mind, erotic and shocking, both tempting and a little frightening. Her breath caught in her throat and she took a deep breath, drawing him in further.
I want to experience everything that you experience,.
She let out her breath. He would know how her body reacted to his. He already knew. Color slid up her neck and into her face. It was normal to be physically attracted to a man--especially one as hot as Lev--but like this? Every single cell in her body was on alert. She was hot, right there in the midst of the rainstorm.
Are you feeling the same? She couldn't ask aloud, but she had to know.
His breath was ragged against the back of her neck. Even stronger.
Her heart jumped at his honesty. He wasn't ashamed or embarrassed to feel such an overwhelming sexual attraction.
Is it you? Or me?
I think we have extraordinary chemistry. I have never encountered this need before, so strong that it's a hunger that grows rather than allows control.
There was satisfaction in knowing that she wasn't alone and that he was honest with her about the way his body responded to hers.
Not just my body, lyubimaya, he corrected. Cool us down with the rain.
The sheer poetry of his suggestion appealed to her soul. She lifted her hands and began a symphony that for the first time she performed for someone other than herself. Bright diamonds fell from the sky, sparkling and perfect. The sound seemed precise at first, but in response to the commands of her fingers, she began to hear individual notes--the drumming of the rain, harder along the forest edge.
Lev had seen her do this before, but he'd never truly experienced what she did when she disappeared inside her head. Rikki was a water element, but he knew even had she not been, this was her world, this other place where sound wasn't harsh and lights didn't burn.
He inhaled sharply as he was drawn into another dimension, an alternate reality, more vivid, more alive, than the world he lived in. The landscape was painted with sound. Soft at first, like a string quartet, the rain was nearly weeping with joy.
She changed the rate of fall to bring in the various sounds of drums, the pounding rhythm, the midrange snare, the kick of the bass, all flowing together into a symphony of color and magic. She created a complicated, intricate pattern, or maybe it was there all along and he had never been tuned to it before.
He could hear individual notes and, like in a Bach fugue, counterpoints to the building thematic melody. While the music seemed soft, it was also strong and commanding, a force to be reckoned with, nature building on itself. Each individual voice was different, as if a variety of instruments played various tunes, yet somehow they all melded together to create a masterpiece.
Just like the movements in a symphony, the rain sent vibrations through his body, painting the world in a physical map of mountains, valleys and high peaks dropping into deep ravines. The physical structures were all created by sound itself, and the colors were intense and vivid--substance created by sound, by feeling. He realized the emotions in her, so closed off to the rest of the world, were right beneath the surface, a swirling cauldron of heat and fire and cool rain. The vivid colors and sounds expressed what she felt--the amazing intensity of her emotions.
For the first time in his life, Lev shut out the world around him. He was lost in the wonder and beauty of the rain coming down. He was utterly fascinated, experiencing a joyful euphoria, a sharing with Rikki that was intimate beyond imagination. This world, this creation, was as real as the two of them--he'd just never had an opening into another dimension before.
The rain swelled and ebbed, pouring over the slopes and valleys, each section answering with a loud or soft rush of music, as if there were melodic voices in the rain calling and answering one another with greater and greater force. The drops whirled and danced as they came down over the house, creating small twisters of crystal prisms.