He looked at his potato. He smiled. It made him happy.
He was sure he had made the right choice.
At least he was pretty sure.
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Chapter 15
She’s Back!
Deedee ran across the playground screaming.
At first Louis thought she was just having fun, but then he realized something was wrong. He hurried after her and grabbed her arm.
“Deedee, are you all right?” he asked.
She stared at him wide-eyed as she continued to scream.
Several other kids gathered around. “What’s wrong with Deedee?” asked Myron.
“I don’t know,” said Louis.
Deedee hiccupped three times, then gasped, “I saw her!”
“Who?” asked Louis.
Deedee didn’t answer—she just stared right through him.
But everyone else knew whom Deedee had seen. Most of them had seen her too, during the last two weeks.
“Where was she?” asked Todd.
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“On the monkey bars,” said Deedee, still trembling and breathing hard. “I was hanging upside down, and suddenly she was hanging upside down right next to me!”
“Did she wiggle her ears?” asked Jenny.
“Only one,” said Deedee. “I jumped off and ran away before she could wiggle the other one.”
“That’s good,” said Rondi.
“Who is she?” asked Louis. “A hippopotamus?”
“No!” said Myron with a laugh. “Why do you say that?”
“Because when a hippopotamus gets mad, it wiggles its ears.”
“She’s worse than a hippopotamus,” said Allison.
“I saw her last week, at the water fountain,” said Todd. “I bent down to get a drink, and then there she was, drinking at the faucet next to me.”
“I saw her on the stairs,” said Rondi. “I was going up the stairs, and she went right past me, sliding down on the banister.”
“Who?” asked Louis.
“Mrs. Gorf!” said Deedee. Just saying the name sent a shiver of fear through her body.
“Oh, your old teacher,” said Louis with a shrug. “Is she back? I always wondered what happened to her.”
The children looked at each other. Mrs. Gorf was the teacher they had had before Mrs. Jewls took over. They had never told anyone how they had gotten rid of her. They especially couldn’t tell Louis.
She was the meanest teacher in the history of Wayside School. Of course there are other teachers at other schools who are meaner.
Louis looked toward the monkey bars. “I don’t see her,” he said.
“Well, she was there,” Deedee insisted. “I saw her!”
“You just imagined you saw her, Deedee,” said Louis. “If you hate somebody, or if you love somebody, you often think you see that person when she isn’t there. It’s very common. It’s just like Mrs. Drazil.”
“Who’s Mrs. Drazil?” asked Todd.
“She was the worst teacher I ever had,” said Louis. He shivered just thinking about her. “She was my teacher when I was your age. I sometimes think I see her, too. And I still have nightmares about her.”
“Was she mean?” asked Rondi.
“She was horrible!” said Louis. “Every morning she used to check our fingernails. If they were dirty, she’d tell the whole class. ‘Louis has dirty fingernails this morning,’ she’d say in a really nasty voice. And if you talked in class, she would pick up the wastepaper basket and put it over your head. You had to leave it on your head until the bell rang.”
“Did she ever put it over your head?” asked Todd.
“Lots of times,” said Louis.
Everybody laughed.
“It wasn’t funny,” said Louis. “My mother always knew when I got in trouble, because I’d have bits of trash stuck in my hair.”
“Did it get stuck in your mustache, too?” asked Rondi.
“Louis didn’t have a mustache when he was our age!” said Allison. “Did you, Louis?” she asked.
Suddenly, Louis screamed.
Everyone stared at him.
“She’s back!” he shouted, as he shook with fear. Then he slapped himself in the face. “Excuse me,” he said. “Sorry. For a second I thought I saw Mrs. Drazil.”
He turned to Deedee. “C’mon, let’s go to the monkey bars.”
“No!” declared Deedee. “I’m not going back. I’m never getting on the monkey bars again!”
Louis took hold of her hand. “Mrs. Gorf isn’t there,” he said. “You just imagined her.”
They headed to the monkey bars. No one else dared to follow.
“If she starts to wiggle her ears, run away as fast as you can,” warned Deedee. She held tightly on to Louis’s hand.
When they reached the monkey bars, no one was there. “Where were you when you saw her?” Louis asked.
“I was hanging upside down over there,” said Deedee, pointing.
“Okay, go hang upside down,” said Louis.
“No!” exclaimed Deedee.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right here in case anything happens.”
It had rained during the night, so the sand under the monkey bars was wet and somewhat hard.
Deedee walked across the sand and pulled herself up on the bar. She hooked her legs over, then hung from her knees.
“Well, do you see her?” Louis asked.
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Deedee pulled herself right side up, then hopped down from the monkey bars. She and Louis walked away hand in hand. She held Louis’s hand not because she was scared but because she liked him.
“Mrs. Drazil sounds almost as bad as Mrs. Gorf,” said Deedee.
“She was,” said Louis. “She once made me put gum on my nose, because I was chewing it in class.”
“How can you chew your nose?” asked Deedee.
Behind them, Deedee’s footprints could be seen in the wet sand under the monkey bars. There was also another set of footprints, made by a person who had much bigger feet.
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Chapter 16
Love and a Dead Rat
Dameon was in love with one of the girls in his class. Can you guess which one?
He thought about her all the time.
Myron threw a red ball to Dameon. It bounced off his face.
“Huh?” said Dameon.
“Why didn’t you catch the ball?” asked Myron.
“What ball?” asked Dameon.
“The one that hit you in the face,” said Myron.
“Did a ball hit me in the face?” asked Dameon.
“Yes,” said Myron.
“Oh, good,” said Dameon. “I was wondering why my nose hurt.”
He had been thinking about the girl he loved.
He was in love with Mrs. Jewls.
That was why he was always doing things for her, like passing out papers. He thought she was very pretty and nice. He thought she was smart, too. In fact, he thought she was one of the smartest people in the class.
After recess he hurried back up the stairs.
“Hello, Dameon,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Hello, Mrs. Jewls,” he said.
“You’re always the first one here, aren’t you?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
Dameon blushed and shrugged his shoulders. “Do you need any papers passed out or anything?” he asked.
“It’s so nice of you to ask,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“I think you’re nice too,” said Dameon.
Mrs. Jewls gave him a stack of workbooks to hand out. Then she gave him a Tootsie Roll Pop from the c
offee can on her desk for being so helpful. “But don’t eat it until after lunch,” she said.
“I won’t,” he assured her.
He ate lunch with Myron and D.J. He saved his Tootsie Roll Pop for last.
Joy and Maurecia came up behind him.
“Hi, Dameon,” said Joy. “How’s your girlfriend?”
“What?” asked Dameon. He turned red. “Who are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend!”
“You’re in love with Mrs. Jewls!” accused Maurecia.
“You better watch out,” said Joy. “Mister Jewls might come after you.”
The two girls laughed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Dameon. “I’m not in love with Mrs. Jewls!” He looked to his friends for support.
Myron shrugged.
D.J. smiled.
“Prove it!” said Joy. “Prove you’re not in love with her.”
“That’s stupid,” said Dameon. “How can I prove I’m not in love with Mrs. Jewls?”
“Give her this,” said Joy. She handed Dameon a paper bag.
“Your lunch?” asked Dameon.
“Look inside,” said Maurecia.
Inside the paper bag was a dead rat.
Dameon knew Mrs. Jewls hated dead rats more than anything in the world.
“Put it in her desk,” said Joy.
“If you don’t, it means you love her,” said Maurecia.
“I’m not in love with her,” said Dameon.
“Prove it,” said Joy.
“Okay, I will!” said Dameon.
The girls left.
“You don’t have to put the dead rat in her desk,” said D.J.
“We don’t care,” said Myron.
“You think I’m in love with her too, don’t you?” asked Dameon.
Myron shrugged.
D.J. smiled.
“Some friends you are!” said Dameon. “I’ll show you!”
After lunch he was the first one back in class. He carried Joy’s paper sack.
“Hello, Dameon,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Did you have a nice lunch?”
“It was all right,” he muttered.
“Oh, would you mind getting the construction paper from the closet and putting it on my desk?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “Thank you.”
Dameon went to the closet and got the construction paper. He put it on her desk. Then, when she wasn’t looking he opened her desk drawer and dumped the dead rat into it. He shut the drawer.
“Thank you, Dameon,” said Mrs. Jewls. “You’re always so helpful. It’s such a pleasure to have you in my class.”
Dameon felt awful.
Mrs. Jewls read a story to the class.
Dameon couldn’t pay attention. He kept wondering when she’d open her drawer.
After the story they had art. Everyone was supposed to make snowflakes.
Dameon folded his piece of construction paper in half.
Mrs. Jewls screamed.
“What’s wrong, Mrs. Jewls?” asked Joy.
“Somebody put a dead rat in my desk,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“I did!” declared Dameon.
“Dameon?” Mrs. Jewls said with great surprise. “Why?”
“Because I hate you!” said Dameon. “You’re always making me do things for you.”
“Oh, I see,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Should I write my name on the board under DISCIPLINE?” he asked.
“No, that won’t be necessary,” said Mrs. Jewls.
That made him feel even worse. Why did I have to prove myself to Joy? he wondered. I don’t like Joy. I like Mrs. Jewls. He felt rotten.
When the bell rang, Dameon waited for all the other kids to leave. Then he walked to Mrs. Jewls’s desk.
She was grading papers. “Yes, Dameon?”
“Do you want me to erase the board for you?” he asked.
“That’s all right,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I’ll do it myself.”
Dameon sadly walked out of the room and down the stairs. When he reached the bottom, he turned and ran all the way back up to Mrs. Jewls’s room.
She was just putting on her coat.
“I love you, Mrs. Jewls!” Dameon declared. “I’m sorry I put the dead rat in your desk. I did it because I didn’t want everyone to know I loved you. I’m sorry.”
“I love you, too, Dameon,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“You do? But what about Mister Jewls?”
“Just because I love Mister Jewls, it doesn’t mean I can’t also love you. Love is different from most things.” She picked up a piece of chalk. “If I gave my piece of chalk to someone, then I wouldn’t have it anymore. But when I give my love to someone, I end up with more love than I started with. The more love you give away, the more you have left.”
Dameon smiled. “I love you, Mrs. Jewls,” he said. He felt his heart fill up with more love.
“I love you, Dameon,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“This is getting disgusting!” said the dead rat. It climbed out of Mrs. Jewls’s desk and walked out of the room.
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Chapter 17
What?
It was purple.
So Jenny read the story backward. When she finished, she threw up.
“Okay,” said Jenny.
“So read the story backward,” suggested Mrs. Jewls. “That way the beginning will be a surprise.”
“But I already know how the story ends!” Jenny complained. “I only like stories with surprise endings.”
“Good point,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Here, you can read the story yourself. It’s very funny.” She gave the book to Jenny.
“All I heard was the last sentence,” said Jenny. “It isn’t funny unless you know what happened first.”
“Why aren’t you laughing, Jenny?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “Didn’t you think it was a funny story?”
That made Dana laugh harder.
“There goes the giggle box,” said Myron.
Everybody laughed, except for Jenny. Dana laughed hysterically.
Mrs. Jewls looked back at the story she had been reading before Jenny’s interruption. There was only one sentence left for her to read. She read it to the class.
Jenny made a face. She could still taste the awful stuff.
“And next time you’ll drink your prune juice more quickly,” said Mrs. Jewls.
Jenny sat down.
Mrs. Jewls waited for Jenny to sit down.
Jenny wrote her name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.
“Well, that’s no excuse,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Now go write your name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.”
“I couldn’t leave the table until I finished it,” explained Jenny. “And then I missed the bus.”
“What does prune juice have to do with anything?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
“Because I hate prune juice!” Jenny griped.
“Why are you late?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
“I can’t hear you,” said Jenny. “I better take off my helmet.” She took off her helmet.
“Take off your helmet,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“What?” asked Jenny.
“Why are you late?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
Jenny caught her breath. “What?” she asked. She couldn’t hear too well because she was still wearing the motorcycle helmet.
Mrs. Jewls looked up from the story she had been reading to the class. “You’re late,” she said.
She hopped off the bike in front of Wayside School and charged up the stairs. Her stomach was still going up and down as she opened the door to Mrs. Jewls’s room.
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sp; She put on her helmet; then her father drove her to school on the back of his motorcycle. It was a very bumpy ride.
“Put on your helmet,” said her father. “I’ll drive you to school on the back of my motorcycle.”
“I missed the bus,” Jenny grumbled.
“What are you doing home?” asked her mother.
She finally got it all down, then hurried as fast as she could to the bus stop. When she got there, the bus was just pulling away. She sighed, then turned around and ran all the way back home.
Her mother wouldn’t let her leave the breakfast table until she finished her prune juice. It took her forever. She hated prune juice more than anything in the world.
One day Jenny was late for school.
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Chapter 18
The Substitute
Benjamin couldn’t take it any longer. Today was the day he would finally tell Mrs. Jewls his real name. So what if nobody likes me? he thought. So what if I stop getting high marks?
“Hi, Mark,” said Jason.
“Hi, Mark,” said Stephen.
“Hi, hi,” he glumly replied, then started up the stairs.
“Hi, Mark,” said Bebe as he took his seat next to her. “Guess what? We have a substitute!”
“Yahoooo!” shouted Maurecia.
Everyone in Mrs. Jewls’s class loved it when they had substitute teachers. They loved playing mean and horrible tricks on them.
Benjamin frowned. He finally had the courage to tell Mrs. Jewls his real name. “Rats!” he said.
“That’s a good idea!” said Terrence. “We’ll put dead rats in her desk!”
“Let’s trick her into going outside,” said Joy, “then lock her out of the room.”
“But what if she tells Mr. Kidswatter?” asked Eric Fry.
“So what?” said Joy. “She’ll have to go all the way down to the office, and then all the way back up. By then we’ll unlock the door. Mr. Kidswatter will think she’s bonkers!”
Benjamin looked at the substitute teacher sitting at Mrs. Jewls’s desk. She looked like a nice lady. She wore tiny spectacles and had long gray hair tied in a ponytail. He felt sorry for her, and he felt sorry for himself. I was going to tell Mrs. Jewls my name, he thought. I really was!