But I was miserable inside.
“Ready?” Tracy asked as she put her last earring in and twirled around in her flowing black skirt, which she’d paired with a sparkling silver spaghetti-strap top. Downstairs in Tracy’s living room, our parents were waiting with cameras in hand. There’d be plenty documentation of my sorrow.
“Yes.” I tried to sound excited. I knew we’d have fun, we’d dance, laugh … but there was something missing. Someone missing.
“Well, I guess we should head down,” Tracy declared before partially shutting her bedroom door. “But I think we need to have a talk first.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Penny Lane Bloom, this is an intervention.”
“A what?”
Tracy put my hands in hers. “I’m worried about you. You can’t keep hiding your feelings. You’re in total denial. We need to talk about this.”
“Can you please not do this right now?” I begged. My makeup wouldn’t survive it. “Besides there’s no reason to. Ryan hates me. I screwed up in so many ways. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“You’re my best friend, Pen. I need to understand what’s going on. Let’s start with the breakup.”
“Why?” My voice cracked.
“I think it would make you feel better to get it all out in the open.”
“Fine!” I was so mad at Tracy for doing this to me. “I ruined the guy’s life. I’m the reason why his friends abandoned him, I put him behind everything else in my life, I caused him so much suffering. And yeah, I’m also terrified of being hurt again.”
It actually did feel good to get this out of my system. My voice started to rise. “You saw what happened to me after Nate, and what it took for me to get back to normal. I like Ryan so much more than I ever liked Nate. I like Ryan more than I thought it was possible to like another person. I was so devastated after Valentine’s Day even thinking we were breaking up, that maybe I broke up with him to protect myself.”
I slumped down in defeat. “Believe me when I say that I’ve been going over and over all the stupid stuff I’ve done to try to make sense of it. But I can’t. Because none of it makes sense. Because I want to be with Ryan. I’m ready. No more excuses. But I can’t because he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. And I don’t blame him!”
My chin started to quiver and I knew that if I continued, all of the makeup artists in all of the land wouldn’t be able to put Penny Lane Bloom back together again. “Can we please just go so we can get tonight over with?”
I stormed past Tracy, pulled the door open, and ran into the person standing right outside. I gasped when I saw him.
Ryan Bauer in a tux.
With Diane right by his side.
Of course it would all come down to Ryan and Diane going to Prom. It was practically their destiny since birth.
Ryan’s eyes were wide. “Did you mean everything you said?” he asked.
He’d heard everything. EVERYTHING.
Tracy walked by and gave my arm a gentle squeeze as she and Diane went downstairs.
Ryan and I stared at each other. All I wanted for the past week was to be able to come clean to him. I didn’t think he wanted to hear from me. I didn’t think he even wanted to be in the same hemisphere as me, let alone the same room.
Yet here he was.
Maybe all was not lost.
It was now or never.
“Yes,” I replied. “Every single word. I should’ve said all of that to you sooner. I should’ve done a lot of things, Ryan.”
“Listen,” he said as he wiped away a stray tear from my chin. “I need you to understand that everything that happened with Todd and my dad had nothing to do with you, especially Todd. And, yeah, it wasn’t fun feeling like an afterthought, but I also know how much the Club means to you. I know you were trying. I’ll admit that I was being stubborn, but I was also really hurt.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Stop.” He gently put a finger up to my lips. “You don’t have to apologize anymore. I heard everything. That must’ve been really hard for you. But I’m glad I finally understand what you were going through.”
“Okay, I’ll stop apologizing.”
He took a step forward. “And you really like me more than you thought it would be possible to like another person?” His lip started to curl into that crooked smile he did when he knew he had me.
I stammered over my words.
“Because” — he was trying to not laugh — “I could take that to mean that I am the single greatest guy you’ve ever met.”
Oh, he was really enjoying this.
“I guess you’re okay ’n’ stuff,” I said as I grabbed one of his hands.
“Uh-huh.” He put his other arm around my waist. “And you’re ready to make this work? No more excuses?”
“Yes.” Because it really was that simple. “Are you willing to give me a second chance? Or is this the third chance?” At this point, it was hard to tell. All I did know was that if he took me back, I’d never sabotage us again.
I had learned my lesson. A very painful lesson.
He didn’t respond. Instead he leaned in and kissed me.
It was the only answer I needed.
When we pulled away, I said what I should’ve said to him a long time ago. “Thank you. For everything. For understanding. For being you. For being here right now. For looking ridiculously good in a tux.”
He adjusted his bowtie with a raised eyebrow. “So, do you like me in a tuxedo more than you thought it was possible to like someone in a tux?”
“Oh my God.” I pulled my arm away. “You’re never going to forget that, are you?”
“Are you kidding me?” He laughed. “There’s no way I’m going to let you live that down. I like that more than I think it’s possible to like something.”
I groaned. But I also couldn’t fight back the smile that was creeping onto my face. He deserved to hear the truth. I did like him more than I thought was possible. Plus, I also deserved as much grief as he could give for what I put him through.
“Although I have a confession to make as well.” He leaned down so we were only inches away from each other. “I like you more than I thought it was possible to like another person.” He held out his elbow for me. “Miss Penny Lane Bloom, would you do me the honor of being your escort to Prom?”
I put my arm around his as we walked to the staircase. I was expecting to see a throng of friends and parents taking pictures, but the only person downstairs was Tracy, looking quite smug with herself.
I whispered to Ryan, “I know I shouldn’t ask because it doesn’t matter, but how did Diane get you to come tonight?”
“Yeah.” Ryan shook his head. “That club of yours is awfully persistent.”
“WHAT?”
“So,” Tracy said with a troublemaking grin as we made our way downstairs, “I have a confession to make. I guess I actually am a romantic. Who knew?”
“You mean …” My mind started to race. “You knew about this?” I pointed to Ryan. “You knew he was on the other side of the door, so that’s why you wanted me to pour my heart out?”
“Oh, come on,” Tracy said with a sigh. “You were both being so stubborn. You needed to tell him the truth and Ryan needed to listen to you. So we came up with this plan. I personally wanted to kidnap you both and bury you in a shallow grave, but I was voted down. You know I love the Club, but what a bunch of wusses.”
“I’ll have to disagree with you on the wusses part, Tracy.” Ryan pretended to get chills down his spine. “They kept coming up to me before school, after school, during class, at PARC, at home. Everywhere I turned, there was a Lonely Hearts Club member telling me that I had to hear you out. It was a little freaky. Then Diane made me swear I’d come here tonight or she’d leave me alone in a soundproof room with Tracy.”
“I was so ready to come after you, Bauer.” Tracy glared at him, before play hitting him on the shoulder. “Just kidding.” Tra
cy then looked at me and mouthed, I’m not kidding.
“Oh, God.” I should’ve been horrified, but I was so touched that the Club went through so much … stalking to get Ryan here.
Tracy placed her hands on her hips. “I probably should’ve let you know what our plan was, but you sort of had a week of wallowing coming to you. Now maybe you’ll not screw this up again. I don’t think anybody can take any more drama between you two.”
“Especially me,” I replied.
Ryan pulled me in even closer. “And me.”
Tracy crossed her arms. “Fair warning, Pen: You go crazy again and the Club will haul you off to the loony bin and save us all some time.” She turned toward the basement door. “It’s safe to come out!”
I faced Ryan as everybody — Club members, dates, and parents — started reemerging from the basement. “Ryan, I don’t think I can tell you again how —”
“Please, don’t,” he interrupted. “Let’s start everything fresh. It’s a new beginning. We can do this. Clean slate. Compromises.” He tilted his chin toward me. “Copious amounts of PDA.”
“I think that can be arranged.” I kissed him again until I heard a voice clear itself loudly next to me.
Ryan could sense me tense and pull away. “Is everything —”
“Hello, Ryan,” Mom cut him off. Her arms were folded tightly. “Good to see you.”
“Yes, hello.” He reached out to shake my parents’ hands. “Good to see you.”
I pulled him over to where everybody was getting pictures taken. I hoped to save him from the Bloom Inquisition.
“Come on.” Tracy wrapped her leg around Bruce playfully. “Let’s get some pictures so you can show all your friends back home the sexy American girl you took to Prom. Maybe The Lonely Hearts Club won’t be the only thing to go global. But do we really feel the world is ready for Tracy Larson?”
We all stayed silent, since we knew better than to answer that question truthfully.
The pictures seemed to take forever. We had to get ones with the Club members, then the couples, then every other mixture we could think of, including one where all the girls surrounded Bruce. “Gotta make some memories,” Tracy teased him.
We were all grabbing our wraps and purses, about to leave, when Mom asked to speak with me.
“You look beautiful, Penny Lane,” she said, brushing a stray piece of hair out of my face. “Remember that you need to be home no later than midnight. And you need to check in when you get to Diane’s after-party. Call us if anybody needs a ride home. And please remind Ryan that I know where he lives.”
Yeah, like I was going to risk that.
I’d always been excited about the possibility of Prom.
I’d hung out in Lucy’s and Rita’s rooms as they got ready for their junior and senior Proms. I’d felt the excitement when the doorbell rang and their dates had come to pick them up. I’d admired their corsages and woke up early in the morning anticipating hearing every detail.
But as high school had approached, and the realities of being a high school girl set in, I became a little prejudiced against Prom. What if I didn’t get asked? What if I went with the wrong person? What if the night was a complete disaster?
Once The Lonely Hearts Club started up, I knew I wouldn’t have to fret about a date. We’d all agreed we’d go together as a big group.
But as I arrived at our junior Prom with the Club, and with Ryan on my arm, I realized that this Prom was going to be better than any I’d ever imagined.
I gave Ryan a squeeze as we waited in line for our official Prom photos. I kept touching him and looking at him, not fully believing he was there with me. If I had only one goal for the night, it was to live in the present, not thinking beyond tonight or high school.
There was no way anybody could predict the future. Instead of always assuming it was going to end in heartbreak, I had to believe in my good fortune.
The auditorium was decorated with twinkling lights and silver stars hanging from the ceiling. After we found our table, I grabbed Ryan and danced with him.
“I realize I’m a week late on my promise,” I said as we swayed to the music.
“Better late than never,” Ryan whispered in my ear.
I held on to him tighter, even though the music had changed to a more upbeat song. I didn’t want to let go.
“Come on!” Tracy nudged me. “I know you can bust a move better than that.”
Ryan and I stopped our slow dance and began dancing with our group. Everybody was in high spirits, dancing along, enjoying ourselves.
No drama. No crossed signals. No hiding my feelings.
Simply the pure joy of being around the people I cared about.
This lasted until a burst of feedback came from the microphone. “Can I have your attention, please?” Principal Braddock’s voice boomed throughout the gym. “Will the Prom court make its way to the stage for crowning.”
A couple of girls gave me a thumbs-up, while I took that moment to glare at Diane. Ryan had to practically drag me to the stage.
I reluctantly lined up next to Pam and Audrey. They ignored me and kept preening each other. On the other side of the stage, Ryan, Todd, Brian, and Don stood in a group talking.
The spotlight blinded me, so I fortunately didn’t have to look out at the entire class, who probably thought I was a huge hypocrite.
Pam and Audrey held hands excitedly while Braddock droned on about our theme, which was the oh-so-clever “Night Under the Stars.” More like “Night Under a Tight Budget.”
“And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” he announced with great fanfare, even though I think the only two people who’d really been waiting for it all night were Pam and Audrey.
“The McKinley High junior Prom king is … Brian Reed.”
Pam nearly fainted because she knew what it meant to have her boyfriend chosen. Prom King: Athletic Stud. Prom Queen: Said Stud’s Cheerleader Girlfriend.
I glanced over at Ryan, who gave Brian a pat on the shoulder. I’d honestly thought it was going to be Ryan.
Brian pumped his fist as the crown was placed on his forehead. Pam was shaking next to me. “I can’t believe it,” she said under her breath.
Braddock returned to the microphone. “And your junior Prom queen is …” He opened the envelope as Pam took a step forward. “Penny Lane Bloom.”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
I looked apologetically at Pam, who glared at me with disgust. So much for being a gracious runner-up. I tried to appear comfortable as a crown was placed on my head, and bobby pins were shoved painfully in to make sure it didn’t fall off. I did my best to not roll my eyes at Ryan, who seemed to be enjoying this more than anybody.
Brian held out his arm to me so we could get our official picture taken. We both smiled for the cameras, but it felt so fake. And confusing.
Brian and I went down to the dance floor while some manufactured boy band sang a cheesy ballad about “lovin’ you, girl.” It was a typical clichéd song for an extremely non-clichéd couple. Brian put his arms awkwardly around my hips, while I placed my hands on his shoulders.
“So …” he said, and I realized that in heels I was taller than him. A bead of sweat was making its way down his cheek.
“So, this is …” I searched for the appropriate word.
“Awkward,” he finished.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah. I’m sorry that Pam didn’t get picked.”
He glanced over to the corner and winced. “Believe me, I’ll be made to feel sorry, too.” He exhaled deeply. “Actually, do you think you could talk to her sometime?”
I forgot that there were hundreds of eyes, not to mention cameras, on us. I stopped cold, trying to actually understand what Brian was asking me.
“Ah, Penny.” He lightly squeezed his hand on my hip, which reminded me to move with the music.
“You want me to talk to Pam?” I asked. “About how not life-changing being Prom queen is?
”
He leaned in close so the other couples now dancing couldn’t hear him. “She can be a bit intense. And like, everything has to be a big deal. She wants to spend all this time together, and I want to see her, but I shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to hang with my friends, too. She puts too much attention on me. It’s a lot of pressure. And you and your club seem to have your heads on right.”
I was nodding along with him, but it seemed that he was finished. “I’m sorry,” I said, “but you want Pam to join The Lonely Hearts Club?”
Were we really getting to the point where guys wanted their girlfriends to join?
He tensed up, and I could see Pam fuming in the corner, her hand wound tightly around a damp tissue. “Uh … I don’t know. I just think — I really love the girl, but girls can be so dramatic, you know?”
Oh, I do know.
“I’ll try,” I said. “But I don’t really think she’d listen to me. We aren’t exactly friends.”
“Come on, Penny.” He laughed. “There’s a reason you have that crown on your head. People respect you. I mean, yeah, I didn’t get the Club at first, but I’m not going to deny what it’s done for my little sister.”
Brian’s little sister was Michelle. He often dropped her and a few other girls off for our meetings. I guess he really did support the Club.
“And,” he continued even though the song had finished and Pam was looking extremely impatient, “there’s a reason I’m here with you. Everybody knows how you feel about Todd, and you and Ryan were broken up during the voting. So it was between me and Don — I guess I’m considered the lesser of two evils. I should probably be flattered.”
“Yeah.” I nodded in a daze. Did the majority of the class really see me that way?
“Anyways, I better …” Brian broke away as Pam bounded toward him.
I made my way back to my table. Once I got there, everyone applauded. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, pointing at my crown. “You see this? Why aren’t you bowing? Do you not realize this means I’m far superior to you mere mortals?”