We Interrupt This Program
By
Justin Blasdel
Justin Blasdel
11/18/09
Version 7
[email protected] Cast
Floyd Aable ( “AY-bull”); Late 20’s Husband, coal factory worker
Beulah Aable; Early 20’s Wife, dish washer
Neal Odom (“OH-dum”); Mid 30’s Husband, journalist
Evelyn Odom; Late 20’s Wife, part-time seamstress
Time
October 31, 1939; Halloween Night
Place
Bellingham, WA (20 minutes before blackout); two middle-class apartments
Production Notes: I have been given permission to play any audio clips from the Orson Welles “War of the Worlds” radio show. If you require the actual email, please contact me.
There are two apartments onstage separated by a wall. In one apartment, we see a kitchen with a table, an AM radio, rotary telephone, and a window. In the other apartment, we see a living room with two comfortable chairs, an AM radio, a phone, and a window.
FLOYD AABLE is a dim, hardworking man who is easily animated when the chance presents itself.
NEAL ODOM is a fashionable, clean-cut journalist who lives well in a poor area.
EACH is standing by HIS radio, listening to the horrifying show. These two men are about to hear one of the most important radio shows in history.
SFX: Lines from Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” Radio Show, as follows…
OPERATOR FOUR
2X2L calling CQ. 2X2L calling CQ. 2X2L calling CQ. New York. Isn't there anyone on the air? Isn't there anyone on the air? Isn't there anyone...2X2L –
THEY stand in silence trying to comprehend what was just heard.
FLOYD
Oh, god. They’re all dead!
FLOYD taps the top of the radio a few times.
NEAL
Well…wasn’t that dingy. That’s enough radio for now.
FLOYD and NEAL turn off their radios.
FLOYD
It’s happening. It’s happening!
NEAL
Aliens from Mars invading our planet, now that’s a show!
FLOYD
It has to be true, it has to be! They don’t lie on the radio.
NEAL
This Mercury Theatre company knows how to tell a story. I hope the other stations begin playing stories like that soon. I’m tired of listening about flatfoots over and over again.
FLOYD
Yeah, there’s the stories played for people at home, but that one was official! It didn’t sound nothing like a fake.
NEAL
Yet…I wonder if people could mistake it for a real broadcast.
FLOYD
It had doctors, it had scientists, it had soldiers…
NEAL
It had doctors, it had scientists, it had soldiers
FLOYD
What more proof do you need?
NEAL
You can probably fool anyone into thinking you’re an official somebody. I suppose one can sell snake oil to politicians if you’re convincing enough.
FLOYD
It didn’t have no commercials either! No commercials! All them shows play commercials, or else they wouldn’t get any money. Nah, it had to be real! They even had the Secretary of Int..Interior telling people about those aliens and how we still own the planet. It’s against the law to impersonate officials like that.
NEAL
But would a company really be that brave to air a show without a disclaimer? I must have missed it when I was listening to the “Chase and Sanborn Hour”. That’s reasonable. Heh, here I am on one station listening to a ventriloquist, then I’m hearing about the end of the world on another.
FLOYD
Those poor folks at Grover’s Mill…burnt to a crisp…all of ‘em. They didn’t stand a chance against that heat ray. None of ‘em.
NEAL
Flying saucers? Poisonous fog? Heat rays killing people with mirrors and light? Ridiculous! But death and destruction does sell. Perhaps I’ll write a review in tomorrow’s papers. Now, what did those aliens look like?
Finding a pen, NEAL starts to mentally mark down the details of the story.
FLOYD
Good thing those reporters didn’t freeze up. Now I know what to look for…
FLOYD
Metal circles falling from the sky, snake-armed creatures with a ‘V’ for a mouth.
NEAL
Metal circles falling from the sky, snake-armed creatures with a ‘V’ for a mouth.
NEAL
Those are what Martians look like? If that’s true, then I don’t think I’ll be visiting anytime soon.
FLOYD goes to look out the window up at the sky.
FLOYD
Nope, not seeing any yet, but they’re up at the bigger apples right now. Not enough of them to tear down every city. Wonder if I can see them flying around?
FLOYD stops looking up at the sky.
FLOYD
Nope, but that doesn’t mean they won’t come. Look at that! The roads are stuffed with cars! People are leaving the city already!
NEAL
From Mars. Genius work. It’s the closest planet to ours, and we can see most of it through a telescope. Never mind that the whole of Mars looks like a desert. “If we can’t see life on the surface, then it must be hiding something underneath!” Ridiculous. I wonder what’s going through everyone’s minds right about now.
FLOYD
We have to prepare! We need guns, we need food, and we need shelter. Those space circles are killing everyone in the big cities. They ain’t worried about the hills and trees. I’ll call Cousin Hank. He lives out there on the farm. He’ll help me and the wife stay safe till the government takes care of this thing.
FLOYD grabs the phone and dials.
SFX: NEAL’s phone rings
NEAL picks it up.
NEAL
Hello? Yes, mom. No…no…I’m sure it’s just a story… What? …Old Bill is selling all of his meats at half price?...He really believes the world is ending?
NEAL finds the situation almost too hilarious. FLOYD hangs up the phone, wondering what could have happened.
NEAL
What?...No, I’m not laughing at you…Listen mom, it was only a show…A fake…Go down to Old Bill and buy some sausages for me…No, don’t tell Bill. You’ll have to pay full price…I understand you have to go now…Love you, too…Bye.
FLOYD
Why don’t he answer? Why don’t he answer? I got it! He’s already up in the hills. Maybe he heard the same thing on the radio, gathered his stuff, then took his family up where he makes his giggle juice. That’s where we gotta go too, right now! Beulah!
FLOYD exits.
EVELYN enters
EVELYN ODOM is a part-time housewife with the need to speak her mind at all times. SHE’s dressed as a minor-league Donna Reed outfitted with mitts and apron.
EVELYN
Who calls you this late at night, Neal?
NEAL
Oh, it was mom.
EVELYN
I should have guessed.
NEAL
She heard a story from the radio about Martians invading planet earth…and believed it.
EVELYN
That old bird really think it was happening?
NEAL
Evelyn! That’s my mother.
EVELYN
I know she’s your mother. Why you let her live alone, I’ll never know.
NEAL turns his head away from EVELYN, who is about to leave the room.
NEAL
Because you won’t let her live with us.
EVELYN’s burning ear pulls her back into the room.
EVELYN
If I thought you were serious, I’d…I’d…flop down on this very spot and wouldn’t move till you apologized a thousand times.
NEAL
Please, muffin.
NEAL realizes that EVELYN was cooking.
NEAL
Dinner’s going to burn.
EVELYN
I’m not going to move, and you can’t make me.
NEAL
Evelyn, I can see smoke. I’ll take care of it.
EVELYN
Oh, no you won’t!
NEAL and EVELYN exit in a hurry. FLOYD and BEULAH enter.
BEULAH is a young working woman who knows her place as the obedient wife, but still needs to be convinced once in awhile.
FLOYD is pulling BEULAH by the arm towards the radio, trying to get HER to understand the gravity of the situation.
BEULAH
Floyd, why are you blowing your wig? What’s on the radio?
FLOYD
The end of the world! Aliens...from Mars…are here and plugging every person in sight. Dollface, we got to go!
BEULAH
Aliens? On the radio?
FLOYD
Yeah!
BEULAH
Was it a story, or someone official saying it?
FLOYD
I’d call the Secretary of Int…Int…Interior an ‘official’, wouldn’t you?
BEULAH
Yeah, I guess. What else they say?
FLOYD
These aliens were flying around in their tin cans, killing people with fire and smothering them with poison smoke. They bumped off New York from the map. Wiped it clean off! It won’t be long till we’re next!
BEULAH
Well…umm…umm….
Beat.
BEULAH
What’ll we do?
FLOYD
I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We can make tracks down to Cousin Hank’s