Produced by Al Haines
WEE MACGREEGOR ENLISTS
By
J. J. BELL
1916
TO
MY WIFE
CONTENTS
CHAP.
I ARMS AND THE MAID II BREAKING IT GENTLY III FIRST BLOOD IV THE RING V IN UNIFORM VI MRS. McOSTRICH ENTERTAINS VII WILLIE STANDS UP VIII CORRESPONDENCE IX THE FAT GIRL X THE ALARM XI AN INVITATION XII A TEA-PARTY XIII MISS TOD RETURNS XIV AUNT PURDIE INTERVENES XV THE FAT GIRL AGAIN XVI CONSCIENCE AND A COCOA-NUT XVII 'FONDEST LOVE FROM MAGGIE' XVIII PITY THE POOR PARENTS! XIX A SERIOUS REVERSE XX THE REAL THING AT LAST XXI 'HULLO, GLESCA HIELANDERS! XXII NO HERO, YET HAPPY
ARMS AND THE MAID
Through the gateway flanked by tall recruiting posters came ratherhurriedly a youth of no great stature, but of sturdy build andcomely enough countenance, including bright brown eyes and freshcomplexion. Though the dull morning was coldish, perspirationmight have been detected on his forehead. Crossing the street,without glance to right or left, he increased his pace; also, hesquared his shoulders and threw up his head with an air that mighthave been defiance at the fact of his being more than an hour latefor his day's work. His face, however, betrayed a certainspiritual emotion not suggestive of anticipated trouble withemployer or foreman. As a matter of fact, the familiar everydayduty had ceased to exist for him, and if his new exaltation wavereda little as he neared the warehouse, fifteen minutes later, it wasonly because he would have to explain things to the uncle whoemployed him, and to other people; and he was ever shy of speakingabout himself.
So he hurried through the warehouse without replying to thechaffing inquiries of his mates, and ran upstairs to his uncle'soffice. He was not afraid of his uncle; on the other hand, he hadnever received or expected special favour on account of therelationship.
Mr. Purdie was now a big man in the grocery trade. He had a cosyprivate room with a handsome desk, a rather gorgeous carpet and aneasy-chair. He no longer attended at the counter or tied upparcels--except when, alone on the premises late in the evening, hewould sometimes furtively serve imaginary customers, just for auldlang syne, as he excused to himself his absurd proceeding.
'But what kep' ye late, Macgreegor?' he inquired, with a futileeffort to make his good-humoured, whiskered visage assume a sternexpression. 'Come, come, oot wi' it! An 'unce o' guid reasons isworth a pun' o' fair apologies.'
'The recruitin' office,' said Macgregor, blushing, 'wasna open tillnine.'
'The recruitin' office! What--what--guidsake, laddie! dinna tellme ye've been thinkin' o' enlistin'!'
'I've enlisted.'
Mr. Purdie fell back in his chair.
'The 9th H.L.I.,' said Macgregor, and, as if to improve matters ifpossible, added, 'Glesca Hielanders--Kilts.'
The successful grocer sat up, pulled down his waistcoat and made agrimace which he imagined to be a frown. 'Neither breeks norkilts,' he declared heavily, 'can cover deceit. Ye're under age,Macgreegor. Ye're but eichteen!'
'Nineteen, Uncle Purdie.'
'Eh? An' when was ye nineteen?'
'This mornin'.'
Mr. Purdie's hand went to his mouth in time to stop a guffaw.Presently he soberly inquired what his nephew's parents had said onthe matter.
'I ha'ena tell't them yet.' 'Ah, that's bad. What--what made yeenlist?'
Macgregor knew, but could not have put it in words.
'Gettin' tired o' yer job here?'
'Na, Uncle Purdie.'
'H'm!' Mr. Purdie fondled his left whisker. 'An' when--a--ha'e yegot to--a--jine yer regiment?'
'The morn's mornin'. I believe we're gaun into camp immediately.'
'Oho! So ye'll be wantin' to be quit o' yer job here at once.Weel, weel, if ye feel it's yer duty to gang, lad, I suppose it'smines to let ye gang as cheery as I can. But--I maun tell yeraunt.' Mr. Purdie rose.
Macgregor, smiled dubiously. '_She'll_ no' be pleased onyway.'
'Aw, ye never can tell what'll please yer aunt. At least, that'sbeen ma experience for quarter o' a century. But it'll be best totell her--through the 'phone, of course. A handy invention the'phone. Bide here till I come back.'
In a few minutes he returned suppressing a smile.
'I couldna ha'e presumed frae her voice that she was delighted,' hereported; 'but she commanded me to gi'e ye five pound foraccidental expenses, as she calls them, an' yer place here is to bepreserved for ye, an' yer wages paid, even supposin' the war gangson for fifty year.'
With these words Mr. Purdie placed five notes in his astonishednephew's hand and bade him begone.
'Ye maun tell yer mither instanter. I canna understan' what way yedidna tell her first.'
'I--I was feart I wud maybe be ower wee for the Glesca Hielanders,'Macgregor explained.
'Ye seem to me to be a heid taller since yesterday. Weel, weel.God bless ye an' so forth. Come back an' see me in the efternune.'
Macgregor went out with a full heart as well as a well-filledpocket. It is hardly likely that the very first 'accidentalexpense' which occurred to him could have been foreseen by AuntPurdie--yet who shall discover the secrets of that august lady'smind?
On his way home he paused at sundry shop windows--all jewellers'.And he entered one shop, not a jeweller's, but the littlestationery and fancy goods shop owned by Miss M. Tod, and managed,with perhaps more conscience than physical toil, by the girl he hadbeen courting for two years without having reached anything thatcould be termed a definite understanding, though their relationswere of the most friendly and confidential nature.
'Mercy!' exclaimed Christina, at his entrance at so unusual anhour; 'is the clock aff its onion, or ha'e ye received the sack?'
He was not quick at answering, and she continued: 'Ye're owerearly, Mac. Yer birthday present'll no be ready till the evenin'.Still, here's wishin' ye many happies, an' may ye keep onimprovin'.'
He smiled in a fashion that struck her as unfamiliar.
'What's up, Mac?' she asked, kindly. 'Surely ye ha'ena cast ootwi' yer uncle?'
'I've enlisted,' he softly exploded.
She stared, and the colour rose in her pretty face, but her voicewas calm. 'Lucky you!' said she.
He was disappointed. Involuntarily he exclaimed: 'Ye're no a bitsurprised!'
'What regiment?'
He told her, and she informed him that he wouldn't look so bad inthe kilt. He announced that he was to report himself on themorrow, and she merely commented, 'Quick work.'
'But, Christina, ye couldna ha'e guessed I was for enlistin',' hesaid, after a pause.
'I was afraid--I mean for to say, I fancied ye were the sort to daeit. If I had kent for sure, I wud ha'e been knittin' ye socksinstead o' a silly tie for yer birthday.'
'Ha'e ye been knittin' a tie for me?'
'Uh-ha--strictly platonic, of course.'
She had used the word more than once in the past, and he had notderived much comfort from looking it up in the dictionary. But nowhe was going--he told himself--to be put off no longer. Seatinghimself at the counter, he briefly recounted his uncle's kindnessand his aunt's munificence. Then he attempted to secure her hand.
She evaded his touch, asking how his parents had taken hisenlistment. On his answering----
'Dear, dear!' she cried, with more horror than she may have felt,'an here ye are, wastin' the precious time in triflin' conversationwi' me!'
'It's you that's daein' the triflin',' he retorted, with suddenspirit; 'an' it's your fau't I'm here noo instead o' at hame.'
'Well, I never!' she cried. 'I believe I gave ye permission toescort me from these premises at 8 p.m.,' she proceeded in her bestEnglish, which he ha
ted, 'but I have not the slightest recollectionof inviting ye to call at 10 a.m. However, the 8 p.m. appointmentis hereby cancelled.'
'Cancel yer Auntie Kate!' he rejoined, indignant. 'Hoo can yespeak like that when dear knows when I'll see ye again?'
'Oh, ye'll no be at the Front for a week or so yet, an' we'll hopefor the best. Still, I'll forgive ye, seein' it's yer nineteenthbirthday. Only, I'm thinkin' yer parents 'll be wantin' ye to keepthe hoose the nicht.'
Macgregor's collar seemed to be getting tight, for he tugged at itas he said: 'I'll tell them I'm gaun oot to see _you_.'
'That'll but double the trouble,' she said, lightly.
Their eyes met, and for the first time in their acquaintance,perhaps, hers were first to give way.
'Christina,' he said, abruptly, 'I want to burst that five pound.'
'Ye extravagant monkey!'
'On a--a ring.'
'A ring! Ha'e ye enlisted as a colonel?' But her levity lackedsparkle.
As for Macgregor, he had dreamed of this moment for ages. 'Ye'lltak' it, Christina?' he whispered. 'Gi'e me yer size--a hole in abit pasteboard. . . .' Speech failed him.
'Me?' she murmured--and shook her head. 'Ye're ower young, Mac,'she said, gently.
'I'm a year aulder nor you . . . Christina, let's get engagedafore I gang--say ye will!'
She moved a little way up the counter and became engrossed in thelurid cover of a penny novel. He moved also until he was directlyopposite.
'Christina! . . . Yer third finger is aboot the same as ma weeyin.'
'Ay; but ye needna remind me o' ma clumsy han's.'
'Play fair,' he said. 'Will ye tak' the ring?'
'I dinna ken, Mac.'
But her hand was in his.
Too soon they heard Miss Tod stirring in the back room.
'If ye spend mair nor a pound on a ring,' said Christina, 'I'llreconsider ma decision!'
'Ye've decided!' he almost shouted.
'No yet,' she said, with a gesture of dismissal as Miss Tod entered.