Chapter 3
There are reasons butterflies and rabbits move erratically. Each of them spends much of its life trying to avoid something that wants to eat it.
Nevin the rabbit raced under low hanging branches and vaulted over stumps, juking right and left, double-juking, triple-juking, his eyes bulging with fear. His respiration would have rivaled a hummingbird on caffeine.
Behind him a huge wolf-like shape bounded in pursuit, bushy tail compensating on the turns.
Nevin hadn’t been chased like this since the janitor at the community pool caught him peeking in the girl’s locker room. He still suspected most of the janitor’s anger was because Nevin was butting in on the janitor’s own favorite pastime.
If there hadn’t been a big dog ravening on his butt, Nevin probably would be trying to figure out why he was a rabbit, and what he was doing in these woods. But with a hot savage wolf panting on his cotton tail, all Nevin could think of was to run as fast as his four legs could take him.
His eyesight and hearing were remarkable and though he was racing at an amazing pace, Nevin felt in command of his wild gyrating through the woods. Even as he bounced left and right, he searched for a safe little hidey-hole to duck into.
There was a rocky hill ahead with loose shale, and Nevin scampered over the rocks with the alacrity of … well … a rabbit.
If he hadn’t been running for his life, he would have enjoyed some mirth at the panicked scrabbling sound of the wolf losing its footing in the shale. But he was too busy looking for an escape route.
He zipped over the top of the hill and beheld something that normally would cause him dismay.
High school.
Now though, it was the perfect refuge. He knew its nooks and crannies as well as any student …
… student … huh … but he’s a rabbit.
He shook his head in confusion and got back to the business of avoiding becoming Kibbles and Bits.
The sound of a wolf chuffing up the shale behind him was a timely reminder of his plight.
Without further thought, he scampered down the hill.
Unfortunately, while his light frame made him a better climber than the wolf, the wolf’s bulk and longer legs aided it on downhill sprints.
A looming shadow was the only warning Nevin received. Fortunately, it was the only one he needed. With finely honed rabbit reflexes, he darted to the right without loss of speed, and was rewarded by the buffet of the wolf blowing right past. The wolf snarled in frustration as it tried to halt its forward momentum.
Nevin angled downhill, trying to reduce the wolf’s advantage of gravity and momentum. He risked a glance and saw his pursuer was back in full chase. Perversely, Nevin slowed, letting the wolf close.
A wide dog smile grew across the wolf’s face when he saw his prey slowing. A wolf can outrun deer if given enough terrain, and the rabbit was obviously tiring.
Nevin was in fact getting winded. His path was diagonal to the building he had selected for his escape route. It was the gymnasium door, left open on this sunny day to let the smell of sweat socks blow out of the doors. Nevin knew his way around the gym.
The wolf pounded closer and Nevin slowed even more.
Suddenly, Nevin stopped and turned, raising onto his haunches. His furry chest heaved as tiny lungs pumped air furiously. He twitched his nose at the onrushing wolf and his whiskers whirred. The gym door yawned only about twenty yards away, but Nevin could see there was no way he could get there before the wolf.
With a look of triumph, the wolf raced towards him, intent on snatching him in his long jaws.
There are very few animals with the zero to full speed acceleration of a rabbit, and Nevin used every bit of this gift.
Like a little furry heat-seeking missile, he zipped directly at the wolf.
At the sight of its prey running at it, the wolf skidded to a stop in stunned amazement. Helpless jaws snapped as the rabbit dipped left and cut behind the wolf like an All-Pro halfback. The wolf spun around in confusion as Nevin sprinted … well … hopped … towards the gymnasium door. Before the wolf could recover, Nevin was inside.
Nevin tore through the gym, tiny claws clicking on the parquet floor. He cocked a long ear and could hear the wolf thunder into the building.
When he saw Nevin, the wolf veered sharply, golden eyes gleaming hotly in the empty room.
Nevin saw the room he wanted and bolted towards it. He could read the sign and if the wolf hadn’t been chasing him, he might have pondered the fact that a rabbit could read English. Or anything for that matter.
But this was an opportunity he couldn’t ignore.
The girl’s locker room.
Naked girls.
Boo-yah!
I hope you enjoyed this preview. Please check out my full length humor novels, young adult, adult and in between. Visit https://www.normcowie.com for more.
Norm’s books
Bonk & Hedz (a caveman ... and woman...story)
The Adventures of Guy
The Next Adventures of Guy
Fang Face
WereWoof
The Guy'd Book, why we leave the seat up... and other stuff
https://www.normcowie.com
Some of Norm’s reviews:
on Fang Face and its sequel WereWoof
"I loved this book, fangs and all." ~ Best selling author James Rollins
“… fantastically funny.” ~ BookLoons
"This book sucks ... in a most delightful way. Don't miss this gem.." ~ Shane Gericke, national bestselling author
"... an amusing teen vampire tale..." ~ Five-starred review ~ Harriet Klausner, Amazon's #1 book reviewer
"...genuinely funny...” ~ Taliesin - The Vampire's Lair
on The Adventures of Guy and its sequel The Next Adventures of Guy
“… humorous fantasy at its best…” ~ Armchair Interviews (Amazon Top reviewer)
“…LOL funny” ~ Beverly at Publisher's Weekly
“No topic is safe from Cowie’s incredible wit and entertaining turn-of-phrase.” ~ Pop Syndicate (named one of Pop Syndicate's Top Ten Books of 2007)
"...hilarious mishaps...." ~ Joliet Herald News
“Hilarious, witty and oozing with snappy sarcasm…” ~3Rs Bits, Bites & Books
“Don't bother picking up this one if you've no sense of humor" ~ Amanda Richards, Amazon Top Reviewer
"Everything in the book is so true, you can't help but laugh in agreement." ~ Roundtable Reviews
The Next Adventures of Guy, winner "Best Sci-Fi Fantasy" in Preditors and Editors readers choice award
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