***
Once dressed, Carmen turned to face the towering six-feet four inches of wolf with a lift of her chin, still reeling from the sudden appearance of a wolf who’d become a legend whispered about among The Society, a lethal killer who took jobs for pay, and did what no other would do. And she didn’t doubt he was capable of killing. In fact, she’d seen him do it, to defend his race, and to protect her and her father.
“What’s the plan?” Carmen asked.
Shi’s eyes narrowed on her, and she sensed his surprise at her compliance, when only moments before she’d refused to leave, and even tried to attack him, but he didn’t comment, which told her how real the Rebel threat truly was. Instead, he drew her hand in his, lacing his fingers with hers, the touch scorching her inside out. “We get the hell out of here,” he replied, and an instant later he was shoving back the curtain.
Carmen willingly followed Shi into the store. She’d doubted him for just a moment in the dressing room, feared his intent, but that was before she’d searched his stare, and truly seen him, and the wolf who’d once been her bodyguard, and the man she’d once been in love with. No. She was still in love with him. That hadn’t changed. He was still her Shi, no matter what he claimed otherwise. And he wouldn’t hurt her, but the Rebels were another story. They were vicious monsters and as the daughter to one of the Society leaders, she was always a target, and it seemed her safety zone, the walls of the society, were not longer protection enough.
But Shi was here with her, and as twisted as their past had become, as damned as his and her father’s relationship had ended, he was still familiar and strong, and yes, her hero. She knew it was a dangerous way to think considering all that had happened between him and The Society, but she couldn’t help herself. It hurt to know he’d walked away from her, to know that had to mean they were never mates, but still, she trusted him on some level that reached beyond logic.
Nervously, she scanned for trouble, spotting Deanna absorbed in conversation with a big, blonde wolf, she assumed to be one of Shi’s mercenaries since he seemed unaffected by the sight. By the way this other wolf angled Deanna towards a corner, she sensed he was shielding her with his body. Protecting her. Carmen knew then that her instincts were right. She had no idea why Shi was here but it wasn’t to harm her.
By Shi’s side, where she’d once been daily, Carmen moved through racks of clothing, and she could feel her heart thundering in her chest. She could almost imagine the eyes of enemies upon her, the moment they would attack, but she kept her cool. Kept her hand on the side of her purse in case she needed the second knife she had stashed there. She always had a backup. Years before, Shi had taught her to be cool and prepared under pressure, and she’d prided herself on doing so ever since.
Shi’s shoulder touched hers, his big body crowding her against a wall, shielding her from an attack, as he’d done many times before. The memory of losing her mother replayed in her mind, and while it hurt, it also made her remember Shi’s training and stand a little straighter. There was a reason Carmen never stopped training to fight after Shi had left. She would not die at the hands of evil as her mother had. Shi could outsmart her, but he knew she had skills. And while she’d worked to hone those skills, she’d kept her intense training behind closed doors with her father. The element of surprise was on her side with anyone but him and Shi.
“Stay close to me when we exit the building,” Shi ordered as they moved through the men’s clothing department. “And if anyone comes at us-”
“I’ll fight,” she said. “You can bet your life on it.”
He glanced down at her, his green eyes glistening with approval. “Good girl.”
Emotion tightened her chest at the endearment he’d once used often when they’d trained, at the glimpse of the wolf she’d once known, and wasn’t sure still existed. “You just make sure you kill as many of the bastards as you can.”
His lips twitched in that sexy way she knew so well, but he didn’t reply, and their pace never changed. She peaked at his profile, unable to help herself. He was intimately big, with a hard edge to him to match every inch of him. She cut her gaze and swallowed hard, remembering the random dreams she’d had of him since he’d left, about him with his long hair loose and wild, him on top of her, inside her. He’d haunted her for what felt like a lifetime, and she’d been unable to escape him, but he’d seemed to never look back at her. If they had been mates, he wouldn’t have turned his back on her. Or would he have? He’d killed his first mate. So why was he here now? It sure wasn’t because he wanted her, or because he’d come to proclaim his love, and how he’d never forgotten her. It was something he wanted from her and that realization twisted her in knots.
They approached the doorway to a stairwell, and Shi pulled her inside the entry, his touch scorching her skin as he pressed her against the wall. Their eyes locked and held, and she knew he felt the connection, too. Damn it, why did it exist? Why did she have to feel this need for him when he would only hurt her again?
Abruptly, he turned away and Carmen didn’t waste time dwelling on her desire for the wolf who’d left her. She yanked open her purse and grabbed the silver and gold knife she kept inside. The silver would kill a natural born wolf. The gold a virus infected human turned wolf, their form of rabies. She wrapped her palm around it, ready for confrontation and watched Shi as he removed a small handgun from under his pant legs she knew would also be loaded with silver and gold. He scanned above and below them with cool readiness before he glanced at her knife and then back up at her, and their eyes locked and held, seconds ticking by like minutes. Awareness formed and deepened in his green eyes, and she knew he understood she could have gone for his back, but she hadn’t, nor would she ever. When finally he motioned her forward, making no move to disarm her, she wasted no time rushing down the stairs to the exit.
Shi was beside her in a flash, slowly easing the door open and searching the garage and apparently finding it safe. He grabbed her and pulled her to his side, and with the hard strength of him next to her, and the handle of her blade in her palm, she felt remarkably calm. They made it all of two steps inside the garage when and black Escalade rounded a corner and right at them.
Carmen jerked backwards, fearful of Rebels, only to have Shi hold her steady. “That’s our ride.”
A relieved breath gushed from her lungs as the vehicle pulled to a halt beside them and Shi quickly ushered her inside. Shi followed her in so quickly she had no time to turn to face him. The door shut and he tugged her back against his hard body, warmth pouring through her for an instant, only to find her eyes were covered with some kind of cloth. Carmen reached for the cloth but Shi held it, and her, firmly in the place.
“Sorry sweetheart, but you can’t see where you’re going. It’s for you safety and ours.” His mouth lowered near her ear. “Leave it on willingly or I’ll tie you up.”
Anger filled her at his actions, at the hard jolt of reality they created. He’d come here with an agenda she now had to face. “Why do I think you’d like that?”
“Actually,” he murmured. “I prefer you both, free of restraints and willing, but I somehow doubt that’s how I’ll keep you.”
“Then you must believe I won’t like what comes next,” she said, aware of the sensual heat in his words that were both seductive and somehow hard and unbending.
His lips brushed her ear. “You won’t, Angel, but if it’s any consolation, I’ve decided I won’t either.”
Chapter Four
“But you’re going to do whatever you came to do anyway,” Shi heard Carmen whisper before pulling away from him and he knew he was in trouble when it was all he could do not to pull her back, to explain. He didn’t explain himself, not for the past five years that had changed him, hardened him, but he wanted to now. Yeah. He was in trouble. Big, screwed, deep shit, kind of trouble. And he was on fire, hot for Carmen in the worst of ways, and the fact everything inside him was again screaming mine didn’t help. He’d
convinced himself they weren’t mates. The chance of finding two mates in one lifetime was once in a non-existent blue moon, almost unheard of, after all. But then most wolves were off the market after finding their biological mate, he reminded himself.
Carmen turned towards him, crossing her arms in front of her, her skirt rising high on her long, shapely legs and his groin tightened. She was beautiful and she always had been. But she was so much more. She meant something to him. The idea that she, like his previous intended mate, could be aligned with, or even acting with, someone betraying their race, destroyed him. Not Carmen. He couldn’t deal with the loss of the good he’d always believed she represented, and the idea set free something fierce and explosive that rose inside him.
Shi snapped and pulled Carmen to him, pressed her against the seat and framed her body with his. He yanked down the blindfold, wanting to see her eyes, where magic couldn’t disguise the truth. “I don’t have a choice but to do what I came here to do,” he growled low in his throat. “Your father is selling Society secrets to the Rebels.”
She gasped. “No. He wouldn’t do that.” Her hands settled on his chest, scorching him through his t-shirt. “No. You know he wouldn’t do that.”
“He is, Carmen. I have pictures and proof. The only questions I have are why, what’s the end damage and game, and are you helping him?”
She gaped. “Me? You think I’m selling secrets to the Rebels?” She shook her head. “No. You know me, Shi. You know me like no one else but my father does. I wouldn’t do that.” Her fingers curled around his shirt. “You’re an elder wolf. You can smell a lie. You can smell the truth. I’m not betraying the Society or anyone else. You know I’m telling the truth.”
“The Rebels have the Bendanti helping them, Carmen,” he said, talking about the immortal offspring of wolves and a witch from many centuries before, who like they, were split between good and evil. “There is magic that can hide a lie and they use it.” And the idea that it might create a false mating heat, only set him further on edge.
“We have Benedanti helping us, too. Nico’s wife is Benedanti, and only his mate by magic. Surely she can test me.”
“Nico’s mate is about to give birth to their first child or she’d gladly do so. Nico is, however, sending someone to test you, Carmen. Someone very powerful.”
“Good,” she whispered. “Then you have to believe me.”
The words, laced with the pain of his distrust, ripped through him. He didn’t want to hurt Carmen. He didn’t want to believe bad of her. “Don’t you think I want to trust you?”
Her turbulent stare searched his face. “I know you do, Shi. And I know why you can’t. I understand, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
She did know. She was one of the few in his life with knowledge of his past and the betrayal that had ripped him from the folds of the Society who’d been his family, when his own had been long ago killed in war. And deep down he knew he knew her, that she was good and kind, and honest. He’d stayed away to give her a chance at happiness, to keep her from living a life underground, disgraced. But he had to be careful, tread cautiously. There was too much on the line. “Carmen-”
Her fingers went to his lips, soft and gentle in a way he had not been touched in far too long, perhaps since this woman had graced his life. “Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t let guilt eat you up. You’re doing what you have to do for the right reasons. I know what they are and I know what you’ve been through. But know this, Shi. When I prove my innocence, and I will, I plan to prove my father’s.”
His heart thundered in his chest at her willingness to fight for someone she loved who wasn’t going to deserve her effort. He knew how alone she really was, how much her father meant to her, how certain her getting hurt was before this was over. And he knew staying away had been right. Making her choose between him and Alexander would never have worked.
He reached up to stroke her cheek. “Carmen-”
She snatched his hand. “Don’t comfort me until you trust me. Then, well, then I might let you, that is, if I decide I trust you.”
He wanted to tell her she could trust him. He wanted to trust her. But life had taught him hard lessons and he couldn’t blindly ignore the real threat to The Society.
“How do I know this Benedanti you plan to have check me out isn’t a Rebel?” she asked. “How do I know the Rebel’s didn’t hire you and this is a trick to extract secrets from The Society?”
Shi took the blow of her questions with a hard stare, but he felt their hard impact. His nostrils flared, seeking the truth beneath her words, and he smelled none of the manipulative intent that could have been present. Instead, he scented her fear that he would really betray her, not the other way around. Damn it to hell, how had they gone from where they’d once been to here?
He yanked his cell phone from his belt and punched a button before putting it to his ear. “It’s Shi,” he said when Kole answered.
“Do you have her?” Kole asked and Shi watched Carmen’s eyes widen with surprise at the voice of the Royal Guard’s leader her exceptional hearing had already identified.
“Yes,” Shi confirmed. “I have her. She wants confirmation I’m not working for the Rebels.”
He was silent a moment. “She’s within hearing distance?”Then she already knows what she needs to know. I hired you.”
Carmen reached for the phone and Shi wasn’t inclined to deny her. He let her have it. “My father is not a traitor,” Carmen said vehemently the instant she had it to her mouth. “There’s some explanation for whatever you think you know.”
“Then help us help your father,” Shi heard Kole tell her. “Do what he asks you to do.”
Carmen’s eyes lifted to Shi’s. “Why go outside the Guard?”
Kole was silent several long beats. “I have my reasons. Tell Shi I’ll call him later.” The line went dead.
Carmen handed him back the phone and Shi slid it onto his belt. For a moment, the two of them just stared at one another, and he felt their past collide with their present, their uncertain future as well. He’d never felt so tormented in his life, not even with Susan. Absolutely not with Susan. He’d felt mating heat and obligation with Susan. What he felt for Carmen was so much more. They had history, a relationship. A bond that was powerful enough to never be forgotten, to keep him looking out for her, protecting her from a distance despite her father’s hatred of him. Despite being certain she would feel the same. But she didn’t. He knew that now. She hadn’t judged him or turned her contempt on him when truth be told, he had. He hated himself for letting Susan nearly destroy him.
Suddenly, Shi needed space, he needed to think, he needed to get his body under control before he forgot his duty over a woman again. Not just any woman, he told himself. This is Carmen. Whose father is a traitor. Shi shoved away from Carmen and distanced himself from her, leaning against the door of the truck opposite her, and it was all he could do to keep a stony face, to control his emotions. To appear as if he was casually watching her when he felt like he was going to climb out of his own skin.
She turned to sit against her door, facing him, tugging her skirt down before wetting that lush mouth of hers and studying him. Her gaze flickered towards the front of the truck and back to him. “What about my blindfold?”
“The Benedanti can erase your memory. The blindfold was just extra precaution.”
“I see,” she said after a momentary pause, her delicate brows furrowing. “Does that mean you can send me back to the Society without the knowledge of you ever being here?”
“Yes.”
“Is that what you plan to do?”
“I haven’t decided.”
She stared at him a long moment and then laughed without humor. It was the closest thing to bitter he’d ever heard from her, despite all she’d been through. Her gaze cut to the ceiling and she laughed without humor. “At least you’re honest.”
Shi opened his mouth to respond and snapped it shut. He
trusted his driver, Jacob McKnight, like he trusted no one else he employed, but this was a conversation for behind closed doors. “We’ll talk when we get to our destination.”
“After the Benedanti interrogate me.”
“When we’re alone.”
“Right. When we’re alone having a conversation I might have erased.”
Shi did what he would never do with the group of misfits he employed, who required a strong leader to maintain control. He broke eye contact with Carmen and let his head fall back against the window, his lashes lowering. His gut twisted with the knowledge that no matter how much he wanted to tell her he wouldn’t clean her memory, he couldn’t do that. Hell, he wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, and make her feel better, but he didn’t have it in him to lie to her when he knew what she didn’t. Once he’d made sure he’d discovered her father’s secrets and done damage control to protect The Society, her father would be sentenced for his crimes. Her father would be charged and punished and that punishment for a council member betraying his people was death. In this case a discreet execution that would appear an accident, meant to maintain the integrity of the council.
Shi couldn’t save Alexander even if he wanted to, but his involvement in proving Carmen's father guilty was something she’d never be able to forgive him for, no matter how much she might see the truth of her father’s actions. It was a natural. Alexander was her father and Shi would again be the enemy.
“Shi,” Carmen said softly, drawing his attention, her voice quivering and something in her tone warned him he wasn’t going to like what came next even before she added, “You can erase my memories but you won’t erase the betrayal. Deep down, if you wipe my memories, I’ll still know what you did to me.” She paused, her teeth scraping her bottom lip. “Whatever that might be.”
She turned away from him and faced the front.
Everything was most definitely not going to be okay.