Tentatively, he picked up her hand. “You told me you let me in that night because I needed you. I still do. More than ever. I know you only married me because you were trapped into it. And I know that I didn’t treat you like I should have. But I promise you, if you come back that will change.”
Abby stared at their joined hands, his warm and strong around hers. His thumb was caressing the skin on her wrist, sending shivers up her arm that echoed through her body. He’d said everything but the two things that might make her go back with him. One of those had to be dealt with now, before they went any farther.
She forced herself to ask the question she dreaded hearing the answer to. “Diane?”
His thumb briefly stopped its movement then started again. “Diane.” He cleared his throat. “We had a long talk after they released her from the hospital. All four of us.”
Abby met his gaze. “All four of you?”
“Me, Diane, Clayton and her new therapist. You see, Diane didn’t love me any more than I did her. We just got caught up in a circle neither of us could break. Taking care of her was a habit for me, just like I take care of Buddy. She understands now that she can’t run to me every time she’s unhappy and expect me to make it right. I can’t do it. I never could. You know what the funny thing is? She and Clayton really love each other. It may take them a while to work out all their problems, but I think they’ll do it. Either way, I’m finally out of it. Diane is Clayton’s concern now.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not. Do you know what I did that day, after I talked to them? I went straight home, got Diane’s rings out of my dresser and flushed them down the toilet. It was the only time I’ve felt happy since you left.”
Confusion mixed with hope had her reeling dizzily. “But you told me…”
“What?”
“That day at the pond, you told me that sometimes you wanted to forget about all the responsibility and do things just for yourself. Do it because you wanted it, not because it was what you needed to do.”
“God, Abby. I wasn’t talking about Diane. I was talking about you. I thought Clayton was abusing Diane and I felt like it was up to me to do something about it. But all I really wanted was to forget about Diane and her problems and just concentrate on us.”
“Why?” Hope overpowered the confusion, filled her until she could barely get the question out. Please let him say it, she prayed silently. Her whole future hung on three little words.
“Why?” He stood up and ran his hand through his hair. “Why? Haven’t you been listening to me?” He closed his fingers around her upper arms and pulled her to her feet. “Damn it, Abby, I love you. I’ve loved you from the beginning. You’re the only thing I’ve ever done in my life that was just for myself, because it was what I wanted.” His voice broke. “I’ve been through hell the last month thinking I’d lost you. I can’t go on like that anymore. I know you don’t love me, but please, give us a chance. Maybe you’ll learn to love me. Just don’t say no right now. Think about it for a few days if you need to. I can wait if there’s any hope at all.”
She put her fingers against his lips to stem the flow of words, her heart singing. “Yes.” She wanted to shout the word from the rooftops. He loved her. Oh, God. He really loved her.
“Yes?” A stunned expression filled his eyes.
“I don’t need a few days. I already know. I’ll come home with you. Everything you said is true except for one thing.”
“What?” He looked like he was prepared to renew his argument and Abby smiled.
“You said I didn’t love you. You were wrong. I do love you. With all my heart. All I’ve ever needed was to hear the words from you.”
“Oh, Abby. I’ve been so damned stupid.” His arms went around her, his lips trailing down her hair. “I love you,” he whispered. “You’ll have the words every day for the rest of our lives.”
She drank in his taste as his lips touched hers, hesitantly at first, then with more assurance as she responded. Pressed so tightly together, it was impossible to miss the strong kick that suddenly came from the direction of her stomach.
Tate lifted his lips from hers, laughing. “Maybe he’s jealous. Doesn’t like anyone messing with his mom.”
“No.” She cupped his face in both hands. “I think he’s just glad to have his dad back.”
* * * * *
Tate’s feet followed the familiar path as he pulled his jacket tighter around him. The December wind was bitterly cold, the dirt under his boots frozen solid in spite of the weak afternoon sunlight.
The white picket gate swung open soundlessly as he pushed on it and he slipped into the cemetery, pausing here and there at different headstones on his way across until he reached his father’s granite marker. The tree that shaded the graves in summer was bare of leaves now, its limbs rattling in the chilled air.
Hat in hand, he squatted next to his father’s grave. “I’ve got a lot to tell you, Daddy, and I need to get it all said, because I think this will be the last time we talk like this.” He looked down at the hat he was turning idly. “I brought Abby and our son home from the hospital this morning. You’d be proud of him, Dad. He’s a big, strapping boy. Weighed ten pounds and two ounces when he was born. Abby says he looks just like me. When I hold him, it’s like…”
He cleared his throat. “I guess you know what it’s like, don’t you? There’s nothing else in the world that can make you feel that way. Wonderful and scared to death at the same time. You want to keep him safe, protect him from all the hurts you know are going to come his way. And you pray that you won’t screw up, that you’ll raise him to be the kind of man you know he can be.”
He stopped, his gaze drifting over the brown pastures of the ranch. “You know, Daddy, I spent my whole life being afraid I’d disappoint you, that I’d turn out just like grandpa. I guess that’s why I took all your talk about responsibility so seriously. But I’ve had time to do a lot of thinking lately and I finally realized something. You weren’t just talking to me, were you? You were talking to yourself. Deep down, you were just as scared as I was that you were like grandpa.”
He looked back at the grave, his voice softening. “And you know something else, Daddy? You were right. Both of us have part of grandpa inside. It’s the part of us that makes us love with all our hearts, the way you did Mom and the way I do Abby. It’s the part that let’s us laugh and enjoy life. That’s a good thing, Daddy, not something to worry about or be ashamed of.”
Slowly, he put the Resistol back in place and stood. “We named the baby Jonathan Patrick. I wanted him named after strong men and I couldn’t think of any stronger than you and Grandpa. I’ve got a lot to teach him, Daddy. Things like responsibility and honesty, all the things you taught me. But there’s one thing I’m going to teach him that you forgot to tell me. His first responsibility is to himself. That may be the most important lesson of all, Daddy. It took me so long to learn it that I almost lost the only woman I could ever love and my child along with her. But you don’t have to hit me over the head with a hammer more than twice.” He smiled. “From now on, I’m hanging onto them, come hell or high water. I’ve never been so happy in my life, Daddy. So now I’m going back to the house to be with my family.”
He turned and then paused, looking back at the grave. “One more thing. If you happen to see Mom and Grandpa, give them a big kiss for me and tell them I love them both.”
Abby was curled up on the couch when he got back, a blanket over her legs. She looked up and smiled as he stripped off the coat, hat and gloves. From the kitchen came the sound of voices. “Don’t tell me you actually managed to get a few minutes alone?”
“I ordered them out. His Lordship was hungry and making sure everyone in three counties knew about it.” She looked down at the baby tugging furiously on her breast. “Between Hank, Joe and Buddy I doubt I’ll get to keep him for long.”
“You mean Dog isn’t getting in on the act?” A loud thumpin
g noise came from beneath the Christmas tree as Dog heard his name and they both laughed.
Tate sat down beside her, putting one arm around her shoulders as he watched the baby nurse. Abby leaned her head against him. “Tired? It’s been a long day.”
“No.” She kissed his jaw. “Just incredibly happy.”
He reached out with one finger and gently touched his son’s cheek. The sucking stopped and a frown furrowed the tiny brow before he started again with renewed vigor. “I know exactly what you mean, sweetheart. Exactly.”
About the author
In real life, I’m Kathy to those who know me, since Katherine has always sounded snooty to my ears. Physically, I’m 5’5” with brown eyes. The rest of me is subject to change at the whim of my caloric intake, exercise regimen (or lack thereof), and Miss Clairol. I’ve worked at everything from killing bugs to telephone operator. I have a degree in journalism that is stuffed in a drawer somewhere. I’ve been writing for seven years now and have sold seven novels, five most recently to Ellora’s Cave. The Sweet Gum Tree won the PASIC Book of Your Heart contest in 2002 in the single title category. I’ve been a member of Romance Writers of America since the day I started writing, and serve as judge for numerous chapter contests. I’ve been married to the same man for thirty-eight years now. We got married when I was two. That’s my story, I’m sticking to it.
Katherine welcomes mail from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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The Sweet Gum Tree
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