She looked at him warily and nodded.
“It’s a nice evening. Why don’t we go sit on the front porch for a while?”
The idea seemed to startle her. “I was going to clean the upstairs bathroom.”
“It can wait.” Tate stood and held out his hand. He would have sworn he could hear the clock in the living room ticking while he waited for her to take it. She finally did, but left him with the impression that she was ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.
Retaining his grip on her hand, he led her out onto the porch and sat on the swing, pulling her down next to him. Even when she tugged slightly, he continued to hold her hand.
“The courthouse opens at nine tomorrow. I thought we’d leave here about eight-thirty, if that’s okay with you.”
She gave a slight nod, her gaze focused on the horizon.
“You don’t have to fix breakfast. We’ll get something to eat in town.”
This time there wasn’t even a nod and Tate felt his irritation rising again. So far, subtlety had gotten him nowhere. It was time to be blunt. “Abby, are you afraid of me?”
“No.” Her voice was low and she still refused to look at him.
“Then what’s wrong?” He hesitated, not quite sure how to say what he wanted to, except to just say it. “I know I must have hurt you that night, but I didn’t intend to. It always happens the first time.”
He’d seen her blush before, but now her cheeks were bright scarlet.
“I know. It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
It was her turn to hesitate. He waited.
“It’s just that I don’t know what you expect from me. And now I don’t have a job or a house to go back to.”
Good Lord. No wonder she was a nervous wreck. She was afraid if she made a mistake he’d toss her out. He looked down at their hands. Hers was swallowed in his and, to his shock, he realized his thumb was gently caressing the soft skin on the inside of her wrist. He forced himself to stop.
“Abby, I know I said we needed help with the house, but I didn’t mean you were going to be a servant. You’re going to be my wife. I don’t expect you to do anything you don’t want to do. This is your home now. Everything in it is yours. The food, the furniture, everything. You aren’t going to make a mistake and, even if you did, I wouldn’t throw you out. I don’t expect you to spend every minute of the day working. I want you to be comfortable here, do the things you want to do. For instance, what would you like to do right now?” Hastily he added, “Besides clean the bathroom, I mean.”
She gave a half smile, but at least she was looking at him now. “It’ll sound silly.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Well, I’d like to go for a walk. Just to see what’s here, you know? The only place I’ve been so far is the house and the tractor shed.”
Mentally, Tate kicked himself. He should have thought of that, and not have made her have to ask. The truth was, he didn’t know how to treat her anymore than she knew how to react to him. “That I can do.” He pulled her to her feet.
“You’re going with me?”
She sounded surprised and he shrugged. “I don’t have anything better to do right now. Might as well give you the grand tour.” Not to mention, the more time they spent together, the faster they’d both get over this case of nerves. “Were do you want to start?”
“I don’t know. The barn?”
“The barn it is.” He released her hand and stuck his own in his pockets as they walked toward the building. “The horses are out in the pasture right now, but I figure some of them will show up when they hear us.” He ushered her inside. The light was dimmer here, the setting sun not reaching this far.
“You don’t keep them in here all the time?”
“We let them in to feed and groom them in the mornings, then turn them back out to pasture unless we’re going to need them.” He pointed toward the end of the barn. “Those are the box stalls. They’re kind of like our maternity ward. When a mare gets close to her time, we bring her in and keep her in one of those until the foal is born. They’ll be full next week. We’ve got a few mares that are coming due.”
“How many horses do you have?”
“We,” he emphasized the word, “have about thirty-five head. Most of those are brood mares. About ten are just for working stock. And then there’s Cody, our stud. You won’t see him tonight. He’s a couple of pastures over.”
He stopped to open a wooden door at the very end of the barn, and flipped on a light so she could see. “This is the tack room. All the saddles, bridles, blankets, ropes and grooming tools are kept in here. The room next to it is where we store feed.”
As soon as they left the barn, Tate unchained a gate enough to let them slip through, then whistled. Several horses shuffled out of the gloom. One of them, a black with a white mark on her face, came right up to them while the others watched curiously.
“This is Diamond.” Tate held her head with one hand, the other rubbing down her neck. “She was born on the ranch. I learned how to ride on her and so did Buddy.”
Abby had taken a step behind him when the horses appeared. Now she peeked around his arm. “I’ve only seen them from a distance before. I didn’t realize they were so big.”
“Don’t worry, Diamond is more like a pet than anything. Here, let me have your hand.”
She held it out and he took her wrist. “Flatten it out, palm up.”
When she did, he held it under Diamond’s nose. The mare lowered her head and woofed, blowing air gently on Abby’s skin.
“Oh, she’s so soft! Like velvet.” Gathering her courage, she stroked Diamond’s neck. The mare stood still, enjoying the attention. “What’s this all over her back?”
“Mud,” Tate said in disgust. “Don’t ask. It’s a long story.”
Tate continued the tour until it was too dark to see. Dog joined them on the way back to the house and Abby stopped to pet him.
“He’s wet.” She wrinkled her nose and Tate smiled.
“He’s probably been chasing armadillos through the creek again. Just be glad it wasn’t a skunk.” They started toward the house. “Tomorrow afternoon I’ll show you the rest of the place and take you down to the creek. It’s pretty this time of year.”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“I think I can take one day off without breaking the bank.”
She smiled up at him as she went through the door he was holding open. “I’d like to see the creek.”
A funny feeling twisted inside Tate’s middle. And for the life of him, he couldn’t decide if it was fear or anticipation.
Chapter Six
It was fear, he decided the next morning. He’d barely gotten an hour of sleep the night before and was seriously wondering if he was going to have to share the toilet with Abby. Thank God he’d told her not to cook breakfast. He didn’t think he’d be able to keep it down.
He sank onto the side of the bed and buried his face in his hands. Somehow, even with Abby here at the house, it hadn’t seemed real until now. But today his whole life would change. Today, he was marrying a woman he didn’t even know and ending all his hopes for marrying the one he’d been with forever.
Was it a mistake? Was he really ruining three lives instead of solving a problem? He didn’t know and now it was too late to back out. For better or worse, this was his wedding day. He’d promised Abby he’d take care of her and the baby. He had to keep that promise even if meant spending the rest of his life in a loveless half-marriage.
Tate took a deep breath to steady his nerves, then stood and walked to the dresser. A small velvet box lay on top and he picked it up and flipped it open. The large diamond engagement ring glittered at him mockingly.
Diane had picked it out herself and he was still making the payments on it. Lately it seemed like the ring had spent more time in its box than it had on her finger. Now, it would never be on her hand again.
He closed the lid gently and tucke
d it away in the top drawer of the dresser. Moving to the closet, he reached up to the shelf and took down another, larger, cardboard box. After a bit of searching, he found what he was looking for. This box was similar to the first one, but its blue velvet cover was older, faded with time. It resisted a little when he opened it, the hinges showing a trace of rust.
Compared to the sleek elegance of the ring he’d gotten for Diane, this set looked ancient. The diamond was small, surrounded by a white gold design that gave the illusion of more stones where there weren’t any. It had been worn by two generations of McCullom women, including his mother, and part of him had always thought his wife would be the third.
Diane hadn’t liked it. That’s why it had been stored in his closet. He’d had a vague hope that maybe someday Buddy would use it. Now, it would belong to Abby. He probably should have given her the engagement ring as soon as she’d agreed to marry him, but he hadn’t thought about it. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to think about it.
Tate tried to force Diane out of his mind, but she wouldn’t go. Was she lying on some warm beach even now, wearing one of those skimpy bikinis she seemed to favor? How many times had he rubbed lotion onto that soft, tanned skin? And who was doing that for her now?
It would only take one phone call to find out if Clayton Caldwell was still in town, but he couldn’t make it. Didn’t even want to know. And from now on, it would be none of his business who she saw. The only thing he had to worry about was how to tell her about Abby. He had almost two weeks yet to decide how to handle it.
The sounds from the bathroom had stopped several minutes earlier and Tate glanced at the clock. It was almost time to leave. He pulled the engagement ring out, then dropped the box into the pocket of the suit jacket he’d taken out.
Buddy was waiting in the living room, his clothing more casual since he had to return to classes after the wedding.
“Thanks for feeding the stock this morning.”
His brother smiled. “Don’t worry about it. You had to get ready.” He looked Tate over. “Nice. Not everyday we get to see you dressed up.”
“Well, take a good look. It’ll be the last time for a while.” He ran a finger under his collar. “Feels like I’m choking to death.”
“You’ll live.”
They both turned as Abby’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. He only got a glimpse of long bare legs before Buddy breathed an awed “wow” from next to him. Tate knew exactly how he felt.
Abby was wearing a pale green dress that hit her just above the knees. The high waist emphasized her breasts. She’d left her hair loose and a ribbon the same shade as the dress circled her head, holding the dark locks away from her face. If she hadn’t been so pale, she would have looked beautiful. And apparently Buddy thought she did anyway.
“You look great!”
“Thank you.” A blush tinged her cheeks as she reached the bottom of the stairs.
“Did you remember your birth certificate?”
Abby handed him a piece of paper, folded twice, and Tate stuck it in his shirt pocket with his own. When she would have moved by him, he stopped her.
Lifting her hand, he slid the engagement ring onto her finger. It was a little loose but he didn’t think it would fall off. “I should have given you this before now.”
She stared at her hand for so long that Tate started to get worried. What if she hated it? “Is it okay?”
“It’s wonderful,” Abby said, her voice soft. “It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.”
“It was our mother’s,” Buddy piped up. “And before that, it was our grandmother’s. It’s kind of turned into a tradition for it to go to the oldest son’s wife.”
Abby lifted her eyes to his, the question in them plain to see. “Are you sure you want to use it? If you’d rather keep it, I really don’t need a ring.”
“I’m sure.”
She searched his face an instant longer, then nodded. “I’ll be careful and take good care of it, I promise.”
She acted like he was just loaning it to her. Didn’t she realize it was hers now? He gave a mental shake of his head. “Ready?”
“Yes.”
Buddy held the door open. “I brought the truck around earlier.”
“Good.” He waited while Abby climbed in, then slid onto the seat next to her. Even as he started the motor, his brain was chanting a steady refrain. “Too late, too late.”
* * * * *
They reached Austin just in time to catch the tail end of the morning rush hour. The traffic slowed them enough that it was well after nine by the time they reached the court house. Luckily, they didn’t have to wait in line. Tate wasn’t sure his nerves could have stood it.
He watched as Abby signed the last of the papers, then pushed them back to the clerk. The woman folded them and placed them into a blue packet, handing them back with a smile.
“You’re all set. Congratulations and best wishes to both of you.”
“Thanks.” Tate took the papers. “You don’t happen to know where there’s a justice of the peace, do you?”
“Judge Wilson’s office is about two blocks down on the left. A red brick building. You can’t miss it.”
Tate nodded and took Abby’s arm. Buddy was still sitting in a chair against the wall and Tate motioned for him to follow them.
The walk to the judge’s office was as silent as the whole trip had been. Buddy had tried to carry on a conversation when they’d first left, but even he had quieted when it became obvious that neither Tate nor Abby were paying much attention to him.
The carpet in the judge’s outer office was thick and the air was heavy with a flowery scent that emanated from bowls on either end table. A neatly dressed secretary looked up from her desk as they stopped in front of her.
“May I help you?”
Tate gestured at Abby. “We want to get married. The clerk at the court house sent us here.”
She smiled up at him. “Do you have the papers with you?”
He handed them to her and she thumbed through them rapidly. “Everything seems to be in order. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll let the judge know you’re here.”
She carried the papers into another room and in a second was back. “It will be about fifteen minutes. The judge is on the phone right now.”
Fifteen minutes wasn’t long, especially not when it meant the end of everything you’d dreamed of your whole life. He glanced at Abby. She was holding her purse in her lap, twisting the strap with both hands. It hit him all at once that he might not be the only one giving up his dreams. Abby was being forced into this just as much as he was. They were both victims of the circumstance that had occurred six and a half weeks earlier. Somehow, they’d have to learn to live with it and neither of them could do it alone.
In spite of his nerves, he reached for Abby’s hand, closing his own around it. Her fingers were cold as she clutched him, but the look she shot him was full of gratitude. Guilt shot through him. None of this was her fault. He had to try and remember that, had to remember to think about her needs for a change instead of his own.
The phone on the secretary’s desk buzzed and she picked it up. “Yes, sir?” There was a slight pause. “Right away.” She stood. “If you’ll follow me, the judge is ready for you now.”
Abby’s grip on his hand tightened to the point where he couldn’t have released her even if he’d tried. He leaned down and put his mouth next to her ear. “It’s going to be okay, Abby. I promised, remember?”
Slowly, she nodded and then stood, still holding on to his hand.
The judge’s office was a larger replica of the front room, with row after row of books lining the walls. He stood when they entered but stayed behind his desk, peering at the papers in his hand through the thick lenses of his glasses.
“Which of you two gentlemen is the groom?”
“I am.”
The judge looked up at Tate. “Good. Joyce, we’ll need you to stay and act as the second
witness.” He pointed. “You can stand there, next to the bride. And you, young man,” he directed Buddy, “will stand next to the groom.”
As soon as everyone was arranged to his satisfaction, he turned to Tate and Abby. “Join hands, please.”
Tate faced Abby and took her other hand, trying to concentrate on her eyes instead of his shaking knees. The judge’s words became a blur in his mind until Buddy poked him. “I do,” he mumbled in automatic response. He heard the judge repeat the words, then Abby’s small “I do.”
“Is there a ring?”
Tate pulled the wedding band from his pocket and managed to get it on Abby’s finger without fumbling too badly.
“By the powers vested in me by the great state of Texas,” the judge intoned solemnly, “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Oh, shit. Why hadn’t he realized sooner this was going to happen? Buddy, the secretary and the judge were all looking at him expectantly. He glanced down at Abby. Panic was written all over her face. Apparently she hadn’t realized it was going to happen either.
Tate took a deep breath. Okay, they could handle this. Just one little peck and everyone would be happy.
He wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Abby’s eyes widened even more as he leaned down. Just a fast brush, he promised.
Then his lips touched hers and he saw her eyes drift shut, tasted the sweetness and innocence that had been plaguing him for weeks. And his lips clung to the warmth, savored it against his will. When her lips parted, he deepened the kiss, unaware that his arms had gone around her to pull her tighter to him.
Someone cleared their throat and Tate jerked away from her, shock running through his system. What the hell was he doing? Abby looked as stunned as he felt, the paleness of her skin replaced by a high flush of color across her cheekbones.
He released her abruptly, using the excuse of paying the judge to give him time to get his tingling body back under control. It wasn’t nearly long enough. He was still blessing the length of his jacket when they reached the sidewalk out front, and praying it hid the bulge.
“Let’s find a restaurant.” Buddy was looking up and down the street. “I’m starved.”