The corner of her mouth quirked. “Not even a little emotional foreplay?”
“You were always more a rip the Band-aid off type. You’ll feel better when you talk about it.”
“It should be annoying that you still know me so well.” She pulled a pair of fat pork chops from another bag. “No, it’s not easy. Though I daresay the Ridge in general is more accepting of my being back than my sisters, if for no other reason than I’m a new and interesting topic of gossip.”
“I’ve gotten my fair share of that since you got back.”
“Have a cast iron skillet?” she asked.
Xander pulled one out of the drawer, and she set the oven to preheat.
“Things are rough with your sisters. You’d mentioned a fight the other night.”
“We’re all messed up in our own ways. Adding all our grief over Mom has made things kind of ugly. They were already angry with me, and that’s been bleeding over.”
“Bleeding over how?”
“Pot shots from Athena. Which is entirely to be expected. She’s always had anger issues, and she’ll take them out on the nearest target. I think she may be angrier with me for not coming home when Maggie got pregnant than Maggie herself. Or, I don’t know. Maggie was…is pissed, too, but it’s not her way to let it all hang out there. She represses every damn thing and tries to control every last detail. It’s just been…shitty. To Athena, I haven’t been a participating member of this family in a decade, so I really shouldn’t have a say in anything going forward. I don’t have the right or the basis to say what Mom would’ve wanted. With the house. With Ari.”
“That’s ridiculous. It’s not like you were excommunicated.”
“I think Athena feels like I excommunicated myself. And I sort of did. Not that I think that gives her license to take shots at me. But I know her. It’s part of her grieving process, so I’m not fighting back.” Which was a far cry from the all out wars they’d sometimes fought as teenagers. Athena had usually won those battles. He’d often been the one to deal with the aftermath.
“That’s got to burn. Just sucking down whatever you’re feeling about it.”
She mixed together salt, pepper, garlic powder, and thyme in a small bowl, then sprinkled both sides of the pork chops with the mix. “Not half as much as Maggie’s disappointment in me.”
Xander frowned. “Why is she disappointed? Because you weren’t here during Babygate?”
Kennedy twitched her shoulders. “That’s a big part of it. And she thinks I never grew up. I’ve been running around the world in pursuit of my own selfish, Peter Pan dreams, while the rest of them became productive members of society.”
The snap of defensive temper left him speechless for a moment. “She said that to you?”
“I’m sure, under better circumstances, she’d frame it as being upset that I’m not meeting my potential or some similar crap. But in a nutshell, due to my aimlessness and total lack of ambition, she’s worried I’ll just end up another burden on the family.”
“How can she think you’d be a burden? You’ve worked. You’ve always worked. How else does she think you’ve lived all over the world?”
“Ah, but it was all temporary, short-term, low-skill and therefore low-wage kind of labor. None of which applies here. In her eyes, I have no degree, no education, no long-term job experience, and thus, very little to recommend myself to prospective employers.”
“Your mother just died and you’ve changed your whole life to come back here. Does she seriously expect you to have it all figured out already?”
Another shoulder twitch. “It’s Maggie. She would. Or she’d try. She is trying to sort out the state of Mom’s finances with Mom’s attorney.” She took the carrots and potatoes from him, chopping with a chef-like efficiency before drizzling everything in olive oil and tossing with the remaining herb mixture. “But she doesn’t understand that she doesn’t need to sort me out, too. And I don’t think any of them really believe that I’m here to stay.”
“Have they seen you with Ari?” he demanded. “Are they blind? She’s attached to you, and I saw you the other morning. You aren’t going to walk away from her. That much was obvious in five minutes.”
Kennedy slid the skillet into the oven and set the timer on the microwave. “She reminds me so much of me. If she sees even a glimmer that she’s going to be turned over to someone else without her own wants being taken into account, she’ll bolt. So, no, I’m not going to walk away from her.”
“Do you think she’s a flight risk?” Xander had worked his fair share of runaway cases and knew that too often they didn’t turn out well.
“I would’ve been under these circumstances.”
“Have you talked to your sisters about all this?”
“I was trying the night of the fight. But they assume that since I haven’t known Ari before now, that I don’t understand her and I don’t have anything of value to offer on the discussion.”
Xander kept hearing echoes of the same things—value, worth, merit—all things she’d struggled with since they were kids because she didn’t fit the traditional mold for anything. And it infuriated him that her sisters would add to that rather than build her up.
“What about Pru?” he asked. “What has she had to say about you being back?”
Something flickered over Kennedy’s face. “We had a good talk the other day. While she maybe doesn’t know what I bring to the table in terms of the future, she’s happy to have me home. And I admit, it’s nice to have at least one person on my side.”
Xander stepped into her, brushing a thumb over her cheek. “I hope you know she isn’t the only one.”
Kennedy angled her face into his touch, but she didn’t move her gaze from his. “Why?”
Because I still love you. The certainty of it sank into his bones, and with it, a realization that she could absolutely slay him. Again. But it was her. For him, it had always been her, so he was willing to take the risk.
Xander framed her face between his palms. “Because of this.”
He kissed her, not with an intent to seduce or to spread the heat that always seemed to bubble in his blood around her, but to pour out the deep well of sweetness she inspired. No one else had ever made him want to give tenderness. But she did—his beautiful, broken gypsy.
By the time he eased back, she was shaking. Her pupils were huge and her hands were curved around his forearms. Xander didn’t feel entirely steady himself.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her expression stricken. “I’m sorry I walked away from you. And I don’t know if it matters to you or not, but I thought of you every day. I missed you every day.”
“It matters.” He wrapped his arms around her. “But I’m not worried about the yesterdays anymore. Let’s just focus on the now.”
Chapter Nine
“HAVE A GOOD DAY at school, sweetie.” Maggie hugged Ari.
The girl submitted to the embrace for a few moments before edging away with an awkward shuffle of feet. “Have a good trip back.” Ari focused on the toes of her hot pink Chuck Taylors.
“I’ll be back as soon as I’m able to rearrange some things at work,” Maggie promised.
Another small head bob from Ari.
“Got your lunch, kiddo?” Kennedy asked. She got actual eye contact, and that felt like a victory.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Mrs. Balzli is waiting in the driveway,” Pru said gently.
With another shy wave, Ari headed out the door. As soon as it closed, Maggie blew out a breath. “I thought we’d be on better footing by now.”
“You’re intimidating,” Kennedy told her.
Insult whipped color into Maggie’s fair cheeks. “I am not.”
“You kind of are,” Pru said. “It works for you. Most of the time. You’re the woman who Gets Things Done.”
“Pru is the warm, fuzzy one,” Kennedy said.
“What about you?” Maggie demanded. Was that jealousy in her tone?
>
“I’m the most like Ari. She relates to me.”
An almost imperceptible shudder passed over Maggie, as if perishing the thought of having another sister like Kennedy. “Well, it’s good she’ll open up to at least some of us.” Turning on heel, she strode with purpose into the kitchen.
Kennedy and Pru exchanged a look. “Business mode,” Kennedy murmured. Not quite ready to face whatever her middle sister wanted to discuss, she said, “I’ll be right back. Need to run upstairs for a minute.”
It was a foolish and unnecessary delay, but she retreated to her room, pulling out her laptop and compulsively checking email. Maybe there’d be something from Flynn.
But it wasn’t email from Flynn that snagged her attention. It was an email from the book editor.
Hey Kennedy,
I was just following up on our conversation from a few weeks ago. Tried to call you at the pub and was referred to one Flynn Bohannon. He told me about your mother. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know you’re dealing with a lot, but I just wanted to keep the lines of communication open. Still very interested in the book project, and the powers that be are pumped. Ready and willing to discuss when you’re in a better place.
Enthusiastically yours,
Elena Beckhoff
Kennedy read the email through twice more, feeling her pulse jitter. The whole thing was still on the table. Her eyes fell on the stack of scrapbooks piled on a chair in the corner. She’d almost swear she caught a whiff of violets from that direction. Mom would want her to do this. Or at least talk to the woman about it more in depth. Deciding that was scarier than whatever Maggie wanted to discuss, Kennedy shut the laptop and went back downstairs.
She found Maggie fiddling with the coffee pot instead of ready to get down to brass tacks. Needing something to do herself to dispel the nervous energy coursing through her from the email, Kennedy moved to tackle the breakfast dishes.
“So how did your date with Xander go last night?” The question itself wasn’t unexpected. That it came from Maggie was.
“Fine.” Which told them exactly nothing.
One fair brow winged up. “You were home awfully late for it to just be fine.”
Kennedy plunged her hands into the sink and began scrubbing at the sausage drippings in the skillet. “I didn’t sleep with him, if that’s what you’re asking.” Not for lack of trying. There was no sense in being embarrassed by that. His rejection had nothing to do with not wanting her. That much had been clear.
But instead of taking what she’d offered, he’d denied his own needs and given her what she’d needed. He’d listened. He’d defended. In the face of lackluster support from her family, Xander’s unwavering belief was humbling. Beyond that, he’d given her something infinitely more precious. A second chance.
There’d been more to his kiss, more to his touch last night than the old, familiar heat and affection. Like stumbling across a unicorn on a hike, she didn’t want to look too closely, lest it disappear. Whatever it was left her feeling shaky and fragile inside, and so very, very needy. She didn’t know how it could work, didn’t know if she’d ever be free of the ghosts from her past. But for the first time she felt brave enough to try. To have Xander back, she’d be willing to endure almost anything.
From the other side of the room, Pru studied her with a serious expression that had discomfort crawling up Kennedy’s spine.
“So we had business to discuss?” she prompted. Might as well take the pressure off herself somehow.
Maggie poured them all fresh cups of coffee and gestured to the big farmhouse table. Kennedy set the clean dishes in the dish drainer, and they took their seats.
“Do we need to call Athena, get her on speakerphone?” Pru asked.
“I already talked to her about this on the drive to the airport yesterday.”
“And you waited to loop us in why?” Kennedy asked.
“You were off with Xander, and I wanted to have this discussion with Ari out of the house.”
That sobered Kennedy right up. “What’s going on, Maggie?”
“As you know, I’ve been in close contact with Robert about the state of Mom’s finances. In particular the trust responsible for paying the property taxes, upkeep on the house, and other expenses associated with having this much acreage.” She paused and sipped at the coffee. “It seems Mom took a great deal out of the trust over the last decade or so to pay for college expenses, not only for us, but for quite a few other fosters.”
Pru’s hands laced around her coffee mug. “How much?”
“A lot. Which would have been bad enough but could’ve been recouped. Except the bottom fell out of the stock market last year.”
“So how much is left?” Kennedy asked.
“Not even enough to pay off the lien. It may rebound some eventually, but given the economic forecast for the country the next few years, we’re going to be on our own covering all those expenses, for a while at least.”
Kennedy read between the lines. “So we could lose the house.”
“It’s not quite that dire yet. Athena and I will help as much as we can financially.”
Pru wasn’t rolling in it with her massage business, and, of course, Maggie assumed Kennedy had nothing to contribute financially after the way she’d lived. She had some, but given the scope of what they needed, it might as well have been nothing.
“Why do you have that tone like there’s more bad news?” she asked.
“Because there is.”
“There’s something worse than possibly losing the house?” Pru asked.
“Mom’s life insurance had lapsed. The renewal got lost in the shuffle while she was dealing with the adoption, so there won’t be anything incoming there either.”
Pru just closed her eyes. “We were counting on that.”
“The important thing that Robert keeps emphasizing is that with the probate, we have time to come up with some kind of a plan. I’ve got to catch up on work as soon as I get back to L.A., but I’ll keep working on this. Meanwhile, it might be worth going through the loft more thoroughly to see if there really are any antiques up there worth anything. It wouldn’t make much of a dent, but it would give a little bit of a buffer for normal expenses.”
“We’re not so bad off,” Pru insisted. “Now that I’m back to work, I’ve got steady income again.”
“And I’m not destitute, despite what you may think,” Kennedy said. “I haven’t been a leech before, and I’m not going to start now.”
Maggie looked chagrined. “I don’t think you’re a leech. And if I’ve made you feel like I do, I’m sorry. This whole situation has me upset.”
“I know. There are a lot of unknowns and a great deal of this is entirely out of your control. You don’t handle that well.” Understatement of the century. “But there’s one thing I handle better than anyone else in this family—and that’s maintaining the optimism that it will all turn out all right in the end, even if we don’t know how. I’ve lived my life by that for ten years, and I haven’t been wrong yet. I don’t plan to start now.”
“I don’t think optimism is going to carry the day here.”
“My sunny, can-do attitude isn’t the only thing I plan to throw at this situation. I’m going to brainstorm and help you come up with a plan.” Kennedy rolled on before Maggie could utter the Thanks, but no thanks on her tongue. “I know I don’t have your business training or financial knowledge, but I do have a lot of life experience in a lot of different areas. It may be that I can think of something outside the box.”
She thought of the book option. Yeah, that was definitely outside the box. But when and if that happened, it would be a long time in the future. As little as she knew about publishing, even she was aware it was a slow process. They needed an influx of cash now.
Maggie was silent a moment. “Well, nothing has popped for me inside the box, so go for it.”
“I intend to. And in the meantime, I’m headed into town.” Kennedy shoved
back from the table.
“What? Now?”
“Yes, now.”
“For what?”
“I’m going to find a job.”
~*~
Stone County encompassed two-hundred square miles of mountain and valley. Xander spent a lot of his time driving from one end to the other, answering calls, working cases. But at least two or three times a week, he liked to do a foot patrol of downtown Eden’s Ridge. To his mind, it was good to be a visible presence—not that the Ridge suffered from much in the way of crime to begin with. Beyond that, he just liked getting out from behind his desk or the wheel of his department cruiser to move.
Today was especially nice, with the weather warming on up to true spring and flowers nodding in the breeze from various pots and planters in front of the shops on Main Street. It was the kind of day worth grabbing take out from Crystal’s Diner and finding a bench somewhere to soak up some sun. That idea took on even more appeal as he spotted Kennedy striding down the sidewalk from the opposite direction. Her blonde ponytail bobbed back and forth with her purposeful stride—as close to Woman On A Mission as she ever really got.
Checking traffic, he crossed over to intercept her. “Fancy meeting you here.”
Her smile was quick and warm. “Well, you’ve just made my trip to town doubly worthwhile.”
“Yeah? What’d you come in for?”
“Job hunting.”
“Already? I’d figured you’d take a little more time to settle in.”
The smiled turned into more of a wince. “Well, things are a little dicey with the house and the rest of our property. It seems Mom has been robbing the trust that pays for it to hand out college educations. A lot of them. So we’re working on figuring the finances out and how we’re going to pay for upkeep. In the meantime, that means we’re all working girls. Hence, job hunting.”
“Success?” he asked, though he knew the answer from her faintly triumphant expression.
“You’re looking at the new bartender at Elvira’s Tavern. It may not be glamorous, but, it’s something I’m good at that’ll bring in a steady paycheck.”