“You need water, stay here.”
He holds my chest down as he moves to get up. “Stay. Here.”
I smile up at him, fluttering my lashes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t believe you.”
My grin is too sly. He turns and digs through his drawers, still holding me down. He reappears with a set of cuffs. He snaps them on my hands before I get a chance to pull away. Well, maybe I tried to pull away but, because of the level of intoxication I’m experiencing, I probably moved no faster than a turtle.
“That’s cheating,” I slur, feeling my eyes drop closed.
He doesn’t say anything, he just leaves and comes back a moment later with a glass of water. He presses the cold glass to my cheek, causing my eyes to snap back open.
“Drink this before you pass out.”
I mumble something and take the glass, drinking the entire thing in three gulps. I thrust it back at him and the minute he takes it out of my fingers, my hand flops down beside me. I yawn and my head spins as my eyes begin to drop closed again.
“Shift so I can put the blankets on you.”
Dimitri moves me, but I don’t open my eyes. Instead I continue mumbling incoherent words over and over. I feel his fingers stroke down my cheek once he’s managed to get me tucked in.
Then I pass out.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Dimitri
I feel her stir beside me and I groan, rolling onto my side. A hand touches my cheek, causing my eyes to pop open. Jess is staring down at me, and the faint light from the lamp only just outlines her face. Her fingers run down my cheek and stop at my lips. She’s looking at them, like she wants to consume them. I feel my skin tingle.
“Dimi, I changed my mind,” she mumbles, her voice still a little slurred.
Shit, she’s not completely sober. Which means anything coming out of her mouth right now I’m going to pay little attention to.
“You should get some sleep.”
She leans forward suddenly, plastering her lips against mine. I don’t see it coming, therefore I don’t react how I’m sure she wants me to. She’s caught me off guard. Besides, this isn’t how this is meant to go for her. She deserves her first kiss to be out of this world. I reach up, taking her shoulders. I push her back gently.
“No, Jess. I don’t want . . .”
Her entire body stiffens and she jerks backwards, stumbling off the bed before I can finish my sentence. She’s got her fingertips pressed to her lips and she’s staring down at me with an expression filled with hurt and shame. No, fuck, no, I didn’t mean her to think I didn’t want it. I sit up, reaching across, but she turns and bolts into the bathroom, slamming the door loudly.
Fuck.
That didn’t go as planned.
Jess
“Shit, fuck, Jess,” I hear him say as I drop down beside the bathroom door.
I’m ashamed. I just woke him up and, without thinking, threw myself at him and kissed him. It was an awful kiss, too. Hard and rough. I’m almost sure I’m bleeding slightly from my bottom lip because I hit his face so forcefully. I rub my face, trying to hide my shame. He rejected me. All along I’ve been wanting him far more than he wanted me.
“Jess,” he says, banging on the door. “Open up.”
I can’t sit here all night, but at the same time thinking about seeing him is far worse than this cold floor.
“Jess,” he says again. “You read me wrong.”
I don’t see how.
I pull my knees up to my chest and put my face between them, taking a few deep breaths. I have to face him, but I’m afraid he’ll see the shame I’m hiding there. I slowly shove to my feet and hesitate at the door. With another deep breath, I swing it open and face a gentle expression. He feels sorry for me. I can see it. That’s just great. I need to go back to sleep and forget this ever happened.
“It’s fine, Dimi,” I say, shoving past him. “I had too much to drink. I wasn’t thinking. I get it. You don’t want me like that. I read it wrong. It’s not your fault. It’s—”
“Jesus, Jess, shut the fuck up.”
I turn to him, gaping. “I beg your pardon?”
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
I cross my arms. “There’s no need to be so mean.”
He’s smiling. Why is he smiling? He stalks toward me with an expression that has me taking two steps back. When he reaches me, his hand curls around the back of my neck and he pulls me so close I can feel his warm breath on my lips. I stop breathing.
“I didn’t kiss you back because it wasn’t how it was meant to go for you. You told me you wanted it to be amazing, something both parties felt. You waking up and jumping me isn’t the way that was meant to go down. No, you should have a man pressing himself against you, making your breath halt in your throat.”
I gasp. It’s doing that.
He slides a finger down my cheek.
“It should make tingles break out on your skin.”
My entire body prickles.
“It should make everything come alive, until you can think of nothing else but having that person’s lips on yours.”
I lick my bottom lip and I take a step closer, pressing my body to his.
“You wanted it to be memorable,” he murmurs, staring at my lips. “I’m just making sure it is.”
“Oh you a-a-a-are, are you?” I whisper.
“Yeah, baby, I am. Now, we can make this awesome or we can let you beat me up with your lips again.”
“I’d like it to be awesome.” I smile weakly.
“I think you’ve made the right choice. Brace yourself.”
I’m still smiling when he closes in. It seems like it takes forever for his lips to finally touch mine, but when they do, fireworks explode. His lips are soft, wet, and so damned consuming. I feel the urge to press myself against him, taking as much as I can, feeling as much as possible. He groans, reaching up and taking hold of my hair, tugging my head backwards so he can deepen the kiss.
I’ve had a lot of fantasies about how a first kiss might feel—this outweighs all of those. The way Dimitri moves his lips over mine is causing my mind to spin. When he slides his tongue into my mouth and it dances with mine, my knees buckle. My hands raise to press against his chest, when I remember he doesn’t like to be touched. Slowly, I lower them back to my sides. This seems to please him so much that he bends me back slightly, kissing me with everything he is.
By the time we pull apart, my body is throbbing and my lips are swollen. I press my fingertips to them and stare up into his eyes. “That was . . .”
He grins. “Worth all your fantasies?”
“More,” I breathe. “So much more.”
His eyes soften and crinkle at the sides as he smiles. “I’m glad.”
“You are definitely up there in the top ten.” I smile.
He chuckles. “Get some sleep.”
We walk over to the bed and crawl back into it. I can feel him beside me even though he’s not touching me.
“Dimi?”
“Mmmm.”
“Thanks.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “Anytime,” he finally whispers.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jess
Take this, it has my number and Luke’s in it. If you get lost in the crowd, you can call me. I’m taking it as soon as we’re out of here, but you’ll need it while we’re in.”
I stare down at the phone Dimi has just handed me as he pulls me along through the crowd. We’re at another fight—he needed more information, though he won’t tell me what about. I’m not happy about seeing him fight again, but there’s no way he’s letting me out of his sight now we’re back on land again.
“Okay,” I say as we reach the back door. He shoves it open and steps in.
There are more people in this back room than there were during the last fight we were at. There seem to be more fighters, too.
“I hate you fighting,” I mumble as he pulls me to a locker.
/>
“I know,” he says, bumping his fist on the cool metal and busting it open. He pulls out a pair of boxing gloves.
“You box?”
He looks at me quickly before yanking his shirt off and strapping his hands before sliding the gloves on. “Yeah, I do a few different styles.”
“Is this one you’re good at?”
He grins, tilting his head back and bouncing from side to side. Here we go again.
“Don’t stress, I won’t get hurt.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I can know that.”
I shake my head, watching him bounce about like he’s high.
“Rex is here, boss. He wants to speak with you,” Luke says, coming up behind me.
“Send him in.”
“Who’s Rex?” I ask, sitting on a long bench.
“He has the information I need.”
I nod and stare down at my feet, trying to control my nerves. I don’t want to think too much about Dimi and the fight he’s about to enter into. I certainly don’t want to think about the “information” he’s receiving.
“Dimitri, long time no see.”
I lift my head to see a man walking into the room behind Luke. I can’t see him fully because Luke is so big, but when he steps aside, everything in my world stops. My vision blurs and I sway in my seat. I can’t be seeing it right. I can’t be. He’s dead. He’s dead. I begin gasping for air as I manage to push myself up to my feet and step behind Dimitri. I reach out and take hold of his arms from behind, needing to be holding onto someone right now. He flinches at the contact.
It’s him.
My foster father.
I don’t know how he’s still alive, I don’t even know how he’s here, but it’s him. His face is . . . God . . . so fucked up. It’s scarred so badly it would take a person who has known him for a long while to recognize him. One of his eyes is permanently closed; it looks like it’s fused together. His skin is bumpy and damaged and his hair is now graying and wispy. He’s as awful as he was back then.
Dimitri turns, his expression hard. That is, until he sees mine. I’m staring at Roger, my foster father, and I’m barely breathing. I killed him. I’m sure of it. There was so much blood, he wasn’t breathing. At least, I thought he wasn’t. I don’t remember a great deal about that night. But . . . I was so sure . . . no . . . no, this can’t be right. It can’t be.
“Hey,” Dimitri says. “Jess, look at me.”
I lift my eyes, and I can feel my lip quivering. His eyes narrow and he jerks his glove off, reaching up and cupping my cheek. “What is it?”
“Dimitri?” Roger says, stepping closer. “I don’t have long.”
Dimitri turns and glares at him. “I need a minute, my girl is upset.”
His girl.
My knees buckle from the mass of emotions running through me. It’s not real. It’s just someone who looks like him. He’s dead, I remember it. I saw him bleed. I stabbed him so many times. He’s dead, Jess. Dead. He’s dead.
“Well, hurry it—” Roger begins. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Dimitri mutters a curse and glares at Roger again, but Roger’s gaze is on me. He’s finally noticed me. I can’t breathe. My knees tremble and I am still grasping Dimitri, not willing to let his arms go. Roger’s evil blue eye is wide and horrified, but it quickly turns to anger.
“You fucking little slut!”
Dimitri spins around, shoulders back, expression livid.
“What the fuck did you just call her?”
“I’ve been lookin’ for you for years, you little whore. Do you see what you did to me, Blair? I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”
He lunges toward me, and with a cry I scramble backwards. Dimitri steps in front of him, his fist lashing out and connecting with Roger’s face. A loud crack fills the room and Roger’s nose begins gushing blood down his face.
“Step back!” he roars.
Roger stops, throwing a hand up to his nose. He turns his angry glare to Dimitri. “I’ve got business with her. Step aside.”
“You’ll not go near her!”
Roger glares at me, his body stiff, but he steps back. “If it wasn’t for the massive amount of money you’re going to bring me, I’d put you on your ass, Dimitri.”
“You need to get out of this fuckin’ room, now.”
“With pleasure,” Roger growls, then his eye turns to mine. “We’re not done, Blair.”
He turns and leaves the room, and I fall to my knees. My entire body is trembling and I’m sobbing. Any wall I’d built up for myself is just crumbling into thousands of tiny pieces. Dimitri drops to his knees beside me and puts his hands on my shoulders.
“Jess, look at me.”
I lift my eyes, but tears are streaming down my face.
“Who was that?”
My lip quivers as I open my mouth and rasp, “That was him, Dimi.”
He doesn’t need more of an explanation. He launches upright and spins, charging toward the door. Luke steps in front of him just before he reaches it, shoving at his chest.
“Stop and think before you charge out there.”
“That fucker is going to die, Luke. You don’t know what he did. Move.”
“Dimitri, stop and think,” Luke orders. “We need that information and he’s the only person who can provide it. If you kill him, it’s all going to go with him. Think about it.”
Dimitri stops and steps back, glaring at Luke for a second. With a sigh, he reaches up, running his hand through his hair. “I can’t stand in front of that piece of shit and let him speak without wanting to cut his fuckin’ balls off.”
“You have to, just until we have our information. Then I won’t hold you back.”
Dimitri nods.
My entire world stops spinning. He’s going to take his side for long enough to get information. My ears begin to ring as I push to my feet. How. Dare. He? The one moment in my life I needed someone to back me, and he’s going to actually interact with that man just for information.
Information about Hendrix, no doubt.
Once again, revenge comes first. I walk toward the door, my hands trembling. I get to it before Dimitri realizes I’ve moved. “Whoa, Jess, where are you goin’?”
I turn to him just as soon as I’ve opened the door. “Where am I going?” I begin in a whisper that quickly turns to a scream. “Where am I going? I’m going to fucking leave, that’s where I’m going. How dare you take his side? How dare you support the monster that he is? I thought . . . I thought you understood better than anyone but I was wrong. You’re no better than him. Revenge is all you care about.”
“Luke, get hold of her,” Dimitri murmurs to Luke, his eyes still on mine. He knows I’m about to run.
He’s right.
I turn and I bolt out into the crowd. I hear him bellow something, and I hear Luke’s answering yell. I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to get out of the fighting ring before Luke gets hold of me, but I have an advantage—I’m tiny and Luke is huge. I shove through the people, squeezing through gaps. The minute I reach the door, I leap out into the cool night air.
Like the heavens have opened for me, I notice a cab parked on the side of the road. I charge toward it and swing open the door. Someone who was waiting in line spits a curse at me, but it doesn’t halt me. I need to get out of here. The moment I have the door shut, I turn to the driver, “Can you get me out of here, please?”
The cab driver nods and pulls away. I turn and peer out of the back window just in time to see Luke and Dimitri run out of the club. I duck in my seat, panting. I swallow over and over, trying to keep the bile in my stomach from rising. I didn’t really think about my plan, I just knew I had to get out of there. I don’t have any money, which means I can’t even pay this driver.
I feel panic rise in my chest.
What am I supposed to do? Without money, I’ve got no hope. I remember the phone Dimitri gave me, and with a sudden rush of desperation, I yank
it out. I know Hendrix’s number back to front, but the chances of him answering it are so slim it’s almost not worth trying. But I have to try—he’s possibly the only chance I’ve got right now, slim or not. I begin to dial his number when a text message flashes on the screen.
Dimitri—I will find you, Jess. Come back to the club. We need to talk.
I shake my head, holding back my tears as I finish dialing Hendrix. Taking a deep breath, I press the phone to my ear. It begins to ring. That’s a good sign. If he was out of service, it wouldn’t ring at all. I begin losing hope, though, when it rings and rings, with no answer. I’m just about to hang up when I hear the distinct clicking sound of someone answering.
“Yeah?”
Relief floods my body and I lose hold of the tears I was keeping back.
“H-H-H-Hendrix?”
“Jess?” he rasps. “Fuck, Jess, is that you?”
“It’s me,” I whisper, trembling.
“Are you okay? Where are you? Tell me where you are?”
“I’m . . . I’m . . .”
I have no idea where I am. I lean forward and say to the cab driver, “What city are we in?”
He gives me a look over his shoulder and mutters, “Los Angeles.”
Really?
“Did you hear that?” I whisper.
“I’m docked there too,” he says, his voice a sound I’ve missed so much. “We’ve been tracking Dimitri. I didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to bring you onto land . . .”
“I’m in a cab, I just ran from him. I’ve got no money, Hendrix.”
“Tell him to bring you to Hotel Bel-Air. I’ll meet you there.”
“Is Indi with you?” I whisper.
“No, kid, she’s on the ship still. Be there in twenty.”
I hang up the phone and tell the cab driver where to take me. It takes us a solid forty minutes to reach the hotel, but the moment we arrive I can see Hendrix standing out front, pacing. My heart swells and more tears stumble down my cheeks. Hendrix turns to the cab, and his eyes widen. I open the door and get out, and I see his chest exhale. He was holding his breath.
I rush over to him and he takes big strides to get to me. The minute I’m in front of him, he leans down and lifts me up, scooping me into the biggest hug he’s ever given me. “Fuck, Jess, I’m so sorry.” He holds me tight, so tightly I can hardly breathe, but I don’t care. Seeing him again is all I wanted. My tears soak his shirt and I take a minute to inhale, remembering him the way I know him.