“Thank you, Jackie,” he managed after a moment. “I assure you it’s all behind us. All right?”
“Yes.”
“Shall we start?”
She nodded, and he asked her to read to him. He hadn’t translated the page she was on, but the poem flowed so beautifully that he knew she had read every word. From there they moved to her writing. She could not see how his suggestion would work, but Clayton had wanted her to give it a try.
“Okay,” he said as he bent over her shoulder. “Feel the paper on the table. That’s the one you write on. The other piece of paper is set over it.”
Jackie sat quietly and felt with her hands.
“Now, just move slowly. Begin to write, using the top paper as your line, and when you get to the edge and want to begin a new line, move the top paper sightly downward.”
“How will I know how far?”
“I’ll tell you until you get the feel of it.”
“What should I write?”
Clayton thought fast. “Wildflowers. Give me a paragraph on Colorado wildflowers.”
“All right.”
It was painful going, but Jackie did her best, the pencil feeling foreign in her hand after so long a time. None of her i’s were dotted in the right place, and the t’s were crossed in rather odd spots, but other than that it wasn’t bad. Letters like g or y that went below the line of the other paper were cut off, but her attempt was still legible.
“Let me see.” Clayton asked for the paper, and Jackie was very aware of the way he stood at her shoulder. “Good; very good. You’ll have to dot your i’s and cross your t’s as you go, but it looks good. How did it feel?”
“A little strange. I wish I could feel the words.”
“You’ll be able to,” Clayton told her. “After you get this down, I’m going to teach you to take notes. You’ll dot out the words when someone speaks or you want to make a list and later be able to read it back to yourself. It won’t mean anything to someone who can’t read Braille, but it’s handy for your own information.
“Now,” Clayton said as he moved away from her. “I think you’re doing well in all your subjects, so why don’t you tell me what you’d like to work on today.”
Jackie bit her lip. She knew what she wanted but was a little afraid to ask.
“No ideas?” Clayton prompted.
“Well,” she began, but didn’t go on.
“I’ll make some suggestions, shall I? We could go over math facts or work on the writing some more. You could memorize a poem from the book and recite it to me. We haven’t done much with geography, so I could get out a map. I could read to you or—”
“That one,” Jackie cut in.
“Read to you?”
Jackie nodded, and Clayton noticed that she was almost tense.
“Did you have something in mind?”
Again she bit her lip, and this time Clayton waited. Silence.
“What is it, Jackie?”
“Clayton, could you read the Bible to me?”
Her voice was so hesitant, her look almost fearful. Clayton’s heart broke.
“I’d love to,” he told her truthfully. “Just let me borrow a copy from Eddie.”
“You’re going to, Clay?” she whispered before he could leave. “You’re really going to read to me?”
“Sure.”
The smile that lit Jackie’s face was the first Clayton had seen from her in more than a year. It did funny things in the region of his chest. He moved toward the door, but ran into the doorpost because he was staring behind him, watching her. Eddie, who was headed that way, laughed when she witnessed it.
“Are you in a hurry?” Eddie asked, noticing that he looked a little dazed.
“She smiled,” he said, his voice bemused. “I saw her smile.”
Eddie’s gaze became very tender. If Jackie could see him now, she’d know in an instant how much he still loved her.
“Are you taking a break?” she asked.
“No. She wants me to read to her. May I borrow a Bible?”
Eddie walked back into the study with him and showed him the one Robert kept in his desk. “He does his Bible study here,” Eddie explained.
“Hi, Eddie.”
“Hi, yourself. How are things going?”
“Good. I wrote a paper.”
“You wrote a paper?” Eddie sounded uncertain.
“Well, just a paragraph really.” Jackie’s hand searched the desk and found the sheets. “It’s one of these.”
“Wow,” Eddie managed. “You did great. You’ll have to dot youri’s and cross your t’s as you go, but this is wonderful.”
Jackie smiled at how closely she’d echoed Clayton.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it.”
“Are you going into town today, Eddie?” Jackie suddenly asked. In a flash Eddie realized how long it had been since she’d taken Jackie along.
“I was, but why don’t I wait until tomorrow,” Eddie suggested. “Then you could go with me.”
“All right.” Jackie didn’t smile this time, but she was very pleased.
Eddie went out after that, and Clayton sat down to read. Jackie moved from the desk to the sofa and made herself comfortable. He began in the book of Luke, and Jackie listened to every word and detail. Things she had paid little heed to in the past now leapt out at her. She didn’t ever remember hearing that Zacharias had been made mute until his son was born, but it was right there in the first chapter. Hearing it, Jackie burst out with a question in the middle of the verse.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why was Zacharias made mute?”
“Because of his unbelief. Let me finish verse 20 for you, ‘… because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season.’”
“Oh,” was all Jackie said, but Clayton could tell she was troubled.
“Is it clear to you now?”
“I understand what happened, but didn’t you read to me that he and Elisabeth were upright, blameless people?”
“Yes,” Clayton responded, thumbing back to verse six. “‘And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord, blameless.’ Is that the verse?”
“Yes.” Jackie’s voice sounded almost sad. “God takes unbelief very seriously, doesn’t He?”
“Yes, He does,” Clayton had to agree. He watched her face for a time and decided there must be huge regret involved in fighting God for as long as she had. He quietly prayed that Jackie would put the past behind her and begin serving God with her whole heart. Clayton told her what his prayer had been. Jackie smiled and thanked him, and they talked of the importance of this for a few minutes. After that he read on, finishing the 80 verses contained in the first chapter of Luke.
“What did the doctor say?” Jackie asked as soon as they walked from the office back onto the street.
“That we should put a nursery together sometime before next year.”
“Oh, Eddie. Oh, Eddie!” Jackie nearly flapped with excitement. “I don’t know if I can wait that long.”
The expectant mother laughed.
“Are we going to see Robert?”
“No,” Eddie told her immediately. “He’s so excited about this that he’s sure to make a scene right there in the bank.”
“Oh, Eddie,” her sister scolded. “He would not.”
“You haven’t seen him chase me around the house in the last few days, and we weren’t even sure. All he wants to do is hold me.”
“It must be torture for you.”
This was Jackie’s first attempt at humor since she’d come to live with them, and Eddie wanted to shout with laughter. It was too bad they weren’t alone so she could give way to her mirth.
“What’s on the list now?” Jackie asked, her eyes still shining over Eddie’s soft chuckles.
“The general store. I want some yarn.”
“Booties,” Jackie proclaimed triumphantly. “You??
?re going to make booties, isn’t that right?”
“Hello,” Eddie said congenially as someone passed. To Jackie, she said “Will you keep it down, Jackie? The whole street heard you.”
Jackie laughed. “I’m not responsible for my actions,” she declared. “I’m a delirious aunt-to-be.”
Eddie told herself not to laugh because it would only encourage her, but Jackie could feel her shaking.
“Well now,” a deep voice spoke as footsteps neared. “This certainly looks like a good time.”
“Hello, Travis,” Eddie spoke warmly, bringing her sister to a gentle halt.
“You look radiant, Mrs. Langley,” he said kindly and tipped his hat. “As do you, Miss Fontaine.”
“Hello, Travis,” Jackie added, smiling. Eddie watched him blink at her. “We’re going to the general store and then I think Eddie should take me to lunch, don’t you agree?”
“Absolutely,” Travis said, turning pleased eyes to Eddie, who was grinning at him.
“I think I should take you home,” Eddie announced, “before you get us arrested.”
“I’ve never spent any time in jail,” Jackie said thoughtfully. Eddie shook her head.
“We’ll see you later, Travis.”
“All right. Goodbye.”
“What has come over you, Jacqueline Fontaine?” Eddie asked in amazement, but she was more amused than angry.
Jackie didn’t answer. She was in great spirits right now but couldn’t really tell Eddie why. It wasn’t that she didn’t know, but now was not the time or place. Only just last night she had been telling the Lord that she could live forever as she was. Eddie was probably expecting, so she would have a baby niece or nephew to play with, and Clayton was her friend again. She still desired to be his wife and have his children, but God had given her a deep contentment for the way things presently stood.
She now sighed to herself. Eddie didn’t hear the sound, but saw that her sister’s face looked very serene. They had come to the general store, and even the familiar smells and sounds were God’s way of saying to Jackie that He was going to take care of her.
Has there ever been someone so blind? she asked the Lord. Thank You, Father, for never giving up. Thank You for showing me the way.
37
Jackie had Eddie laughing again, this time from nearly tripping on the doorstep. She didn’t fall, but her recovery and comments were so funny that Eddie didn’t try to hold back.
“I’ve got to sit down,” Eddie gasped as she moved into the living room. “I don’t know when I’ve laughed so much.”
“I’ll get us something to drink,” Jackie offered.
“Oh, that sounds wonderful. Lena was going to leave early today, but she usually makes lemonade.”
“Okay. Don’t go away now.”
Eddie leaned her head back and sighed. It was as if her sister had been dead and had now returned to life. Eddie had struggled so many weeks trying to understand what she should do but finding no answers. She knew Jackie needed salvation, but in truth it had seemed so impossible.
Jackie was busy in the kitchen for a long time, and Eddie made herself stay seated, wanting to think and pray. Suddenly, in the midst of Eddie’s reflections, the front door opened. Eddie put her head up to see Robert come in. He was a few hours early, and she rose to greet him with a pleased smile on her face. Her welcoming smile changed to a look of astonishment when her parents came in behind him, followed by Lexa, Danny, and Sammy, all looking a little travel-worn but absolutely wonderful.
“Oh, Mother,” Eddie said softly, noticing that they were all very quiet as she hugged each one in turn. Indeed, their silence was tense. Their eyes looked past her, taking in more than the house, and Eddie understood.
“Come this way,” Eddie told them, her voice low. Less than a minute later they stood just inside the kitchen.
“Am I taking too long?” Jackie asked, having heard the movement.
“No,” Eddie spoke with a teasing tone.
“Well, go back and sit down. I’ll wait on you and not even get you wet.”
“All right,” Eddie told her, but she didn’t move.
Addy had put a hand to her mouth to keep from gasping with delight, and now she waited until Jackie put her glass down.
“Hello, dear.”
“Mother?” Jackie said immediately, turning from the counter, her excitement making her unsteady.
“Yes, honey, I’m here.”
“Oh, Mother, Mother.” Jackie’s hands began to flutter in the air and continued until Addy came to hug her. The deed was enough to spark the whole family into action. They all began to talk at once. Jackie’s mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out as she realized that everyone was there. They were together. For the first time in months they were all together in a good way. When Eddie and Robert had come to take her to Boulder, she had been impossible, and even refused to tell her family goodbye, but with the changes in her heart, this was like a dream come true.
“You can share my bed,” Jackie found herself saying to Danny, and then Lexa was there. “Oh, Lexa, how long can you stay? You can share my bed, all right? Oh, no, this can’t be Sammy. You’re so tall. Share my bed, will you? Stay in my room so we can talk.”
“Well, that’s four in the bed now,” Robert commented with a laugh. “Maybe Eddie should move in there too.”
No one noticed the kitchen—no one noticed that they were standing and not comfortably seated in the living room. It was just too wonderful to talk and touch one another right where they stood. Jackie was filled with questions, and her father finally put an arm around her and answered them.
“We’ll be here for five days, and then we’re going to visit the Taggarts in Denver. From there we’ll head home. We didn’t write ahead of our coming because I wasn’t certain when I could close the store.”
“You actually shut the doors of the store?”
“Yes, I did. Doc Edwardson has a key in case there’s an emergency, but I warned customers ahead of time that we would be gone when they usually shop for school. I’ve put a sign out that says we’ll be back on September 5.”
“We’ll miss the first two days of school,” Lexa added happily.
Jackie laughed. “You don’t need to. Clayton is here, and he can give you lessons next week.”
Lexa only groaned and said she didn’t think she would be up to it.
Tours of the house were next. Addy wanted to see the bedrooms, so Eddie took her that direction while Robert led Morgan around the downstairs. For a few minutes, Danny found herself alone with Jackie.
“Tell me what’s happened, Jackie,” she said quietly. “You’re not the same girl who left Georgetown on May 1. What’s happened to you?”
Jackie smiled. “I’m so glad I’m not the same girl. I fought it, Danny; I fought it for so long, but I finally gave myself to Christ.”
Danny hugged her older sister. They were very much the same height now, and Jackie clung to her. Upstairs the women were doing some hugging of their own.
“You have something to tell me, don’t you, Edwina?”
Eddie smiled. “How did you know?”
“Because you’re radiant.”
They hugged, and Addy held her oldest daughter very close, her heart crying and rejoicing at the same time. They would be far from Boulder by the time this little one entered the world.
This is what my mother felt, Addy thought of the woman long dead. This was what she experienced when I had my babies far from her reach. This is the separation she felt in not touching them or seeing them.
“Mother,” Eddie said gently. “You look about to cry.”
Addy’s smile wobbled dangerously. “For the first time ever I agree with your father about wanting you to move to Georgetown.”
Eddie laughed and hugged her again. “I know,” she suggested. “Let’s have Robert pressure Father about moving here to Boulder.”
“Oh, no,” Addy said. “Just about the time we do that, one o
f you girls will meet someone from New York, and we’ll be off across the country again.”
“Mother, are you in here?”
“Here, Sammy.”
“Oh. Is this your room, Eddie?”
“Yes. Isn’t it pretty?”
“Um hmm.” she agreed as she took in the green curtains and counterpane. It was not overly feminine but had enough masculine touches to make Eddie and Robert both comfortable. The greens ranged from a pastel to a deep forest, and the effect was very soothing.
“What have you been doing, Sammy?” Addy wished to know.
“Just wandering and wishing I could live here all the time.”
The older women smiled. “We waited rather late to come this year,” Addy said. “Maybe another year you can come and spend some time during the summer.” She paused for the space of several heartbeats. “Especially if you can be a help with the baby.”
Sammy’s eyes shot to Eddie’s, and Eddie’s heart melted at the love she saw there. They embraced for many minutes, neither capable of words. Addy left them to find Morgan. He needed to see Eddie and learn firsthand of her news. Addy wanted to see the rest of the house.
“Did you know, Mother? I mean, could you tell?”
“Yes and no, Jackie,” Addy confessed.
It was late in the evening now, and Addy had walked Jackie and Sammy up to Jackie’s room. Sammy had gone to retrieve something from her mother’s case, so Addy was given a few moments alone with Jackie.
“What do you mean, yes and no?”
Addy smoothed Jackie’s brow as her daugher’s head lay on the pillow.
“You made a confession as a child, and I thought it genuine as I talked to you that day, but then things didn’t really change for you. They did for Danny, who accepted Christ at the same time, but not for you. I also must admit to you, Jackie, I wanted to believe you understood. I’ve had to confess that. It was very wrong of me. I told myself I couldn’t judge you that way, and then God reminded me that I was still judging you: I was judging you saved. If that wasn’t true, then that was the worst thing I could possibly do.”