"Why?"
"Because I'm an ambassador to Franz Josef's court and I mustn't give the appearance of stealing the crown prince's mistress right from under his nose--especially since I intend to marry you. Unless he's released you from his protection, I can't accept you into mine. It's not considered gentlemanly or honorable. And to do so here in Vienna while I'm representing Her Majesty's government would be an unforgivable breach of royal etiquette."
"That's barbaric."
"That's the way these things are done, Cristina. In this case, I've no choice but to follow the rules. Normally these things are personal and don't involve the fate of nations. They're handled in a quiet, civilized manner. But Rudolf was required to make a public farewell in order to convince the emperor and that public act will work to our advantage because by the time he returns from maneuvers after leaving you alone for three months, he'll find you gone. There won't be anything he can do. The emperor will be informed that you've left Rudolf's house and most, if not all, of Vienna will know of the change in your status and accept the fact. And Rudolf will, too. Because he'll have no other choice." Blake explained his plan.
"Then why do we have to keep our marriage a secret?"
"Because," Blake told her, "it's one thing to steal a man's mistress and quite another to marry her. We can't risk tweaking the crown prince's nose or the emperor's and if our marriage was made public, you, as the wife of an ambassador, would be expected to accompany me to certain diplomatic functions which would include the imperial family. And in light of your acknowledged relationship with Rudolf, that would be considered a slight."
Cristina nervously bit her bottom lip. "So I'll be a wife pretending to be a mistress."
"Only until we can make an official announcement."
"When will that be?"
"Hopefully by Christmas."
"Oh."
He looked at Cristina and recognized the disappointment in her face. "I'm sorry, Cristina. I know it's not the way you wanted it. It's not what I wanted, either, but until these bloody negotiations are over it's the best I can offer. What do you say?"
"This isn't exactly what I had in mind." She tried to smile, but couldn't quite manage it.
Blake wasn't any happier about the situation than Cristina. He didn't like the idea of them living apart or the fact that most of Vienna would believe that she had, indeed, found a new protector instead of a husband. And although it wasn't the way he had wanted things to be, at least he had found a way to marry her with as few political repercussions as possible. "You can always refuse to marry me again."
"I don't want my child to be born a bastard," she said bluntly.
"Neither do I."
"Is that why you're marrying me?"
"No."
"But it is part of the reason," she persisted, hoping Blake would say the three little words that would make her feel so much better about the entire situation.
"Of course it is. It's also part of the reason you're marrying me."
"But it would make everything easier for you if we didn't get married--if I simply became your mistress, wouldn't it, Blake?"
"You already are my mistress," Blake told her. "And no, it wouldn't make anything easier, not when I want you to be my wife."
Cristina sighed. He wasn't going to say it. He'd said he wanted her, had told her he needed her, but he hadn't said he loved her. Not yet. And after Meredith, who could blame him? At least he was showing her. "What will happen once we let everyone in on our secret?"
"Nothing, I hope," Blake said. "The negotiations should be completed by that time and everything should be back to normal."
"What if someone should find out before we can make the official announcement? Would that undermine your position here?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "After the negotiations conclude, I don't think anyone will care--except maybe Rudolf. But it's a risk I'm willing to take." He paused for a moment and looked at her, almost afraid to breathe for fear she would change her mind and decide not to marry him after all. "How about you, Countess?"
"I'll risk it."
There was something in the way she answered him that made Blake offer her the other alternative--the one he'd been trying to avoid. "There is another way," he said.
"What way?"
"You could stay here, Cristina. You could wait in this house until Rudolf returns and see if he really means to obey his father--if he really has taken his leave of you or if he's simply giving his father three months to cool off and forget about ordering him to stay away from you. The negotiations should be concluded by the time he returns."
She wasn't about to consider that alternative, but she was curious. "You don't think he intends to continue to try to see me, do you?"
"I would."
"Will he?"
Blake turned and began to pace. "I don't know. But I think he might." He let out the breath he'd been holding. "I've known Rudolf for years. I've seen what happens when he tires of his mistresses. He presents them with a gift, Countess. A silver cigarette box engraved with his initial and his archducal crown and writes their name in his official "Register of Conquests." Believe me, I've seen it many times before. Did he give you a cigarette box before he left?"
Cristina frowned. "No. I don't smoke."
"It doesn't matter," Blake told her. "He gives one to each of his mistresses when he tires of them. But there's no reason for him to tire of you because he hasn't become your lover yet. I'd feel better about this if he'd given you a cigarette box. As it is, I think he's waiting for your child to be born, waiting for his opportunity." Blake shook his head. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he'll have forgotten all about you once he returns from Prague and goes hunting for a suitable royal Catholic bride."
"I didn't know he was looking for a bride," Cristina said.
"Well he is and I'm happy to say your name isn't on his list."
"I never wanted to be on Rudolf's list," she said, softly. "I simply don't want to build my happiness at someone else's expense."
"Then make your decision."
"I've already made it, Lord Lawrence. I chose you. And I want you any way I can get you. Don't leave me here. Take me with you. I can live without Rudolf. But I don't want to live without you."
Blake crushed her to him. "Have Leah pack your things as quickly as possible. I'll send someone by later tonight to take them to the apartment. I don't think there's any reason to drag out the process. I'm going out of my mind thinking about you in this house. I want you where I know you'll be safe."
Cristina hugged Blake tighter, burrowing into his hard chest. "I'm so glad you cared enough to come for me."
Blake kissed her on the forehead. "I was a fool to let you go in the first place. I promise you it won't happen again. We belong together. We make a special kind of magic together that I've never experienced before and I don't want to lose you or it again."
He hadn't said he loved her but he was placing his career in jeopardy for her and it didn't seem to faze him at all. Maybe he didn't love her or couldn't love her; but he was giving her a part of himself and that was more than he had ever offered before. Cristina knew she would accept whatever part of himself he chose to share and make it enough. She had promised to trust him and she intended to keep that promise. There was no room for further doubts. He had shown her he cared. Perhaps one day he would tell her how much.
The packing took several hours. Blake had returned to the embassy to finish some work. Cristina didn't expect to see him again until after she was settled into the apartment, so it was an unexpected pleasure to find him standing beside the wagon issuing orders while their trunks were loaded.
"What are you doing here?"
"Helping to move my little family." He enjoyed the surprise and the look of pleasure on her face. "What sort of host would I be if I let you travel to my apartment alone at nig
ht?"
Cristina smiled at him. He had known she dreaded the thought of facing a strange empty apartment. "Leah would have been with me."
"That's not the same and you know it." Blake grinned at Leah. "Not that Leah isn't a marvel."
"Oh, you're quite right, Lord Lawrence," Leah encouraged, "I am a marvel but I'm not as young as I once was and I like havin' a strong man around the house myself. Just in case...."
"You're both impossible," Cristina scolded playfully, happier than Leah at the prospect of having Blake around.
"I may be impossible, but you're glad to see me just the same," Blake told her.
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
"You did, Countess. Except for a kiss, your greeting couldn't have been any better. I like the warm light in your eyes. I don't know if the baby's responsible or if I am, but I like the change in you, Cris." His words were sincere, warm, and caressing.
"My feelings toward you haven't changed since this afternoon."
"The warm light was there this afternoon, Cristina. It's been there since our meeting in the embassy."
"Well at least there's something warm about me. I remember you once called me an ice maiden and your accusation is about to become fact."
"That was long ago, Countess, and all in the past--" he began.
"No, it isn't." She looked toward the heavens and Blake realized a light rain had begun to fall. He also realized Cristina was shivering.
"You should've told me you were freezing," Blake admonished. "Wait in the fiacre behind the wagon while I get you a cloak."
He helped her into the carriage, asked the driver to wait a few minutes longer, then left to find her a cloak.
The rain began to fall harder and Cristina could hear the driver grumbling about moving in the middle of the night, and in such weather, too. She sympathized but there was little she could do about his discomfort at the moment. She shivered again and pulled the lap robe as high as she could, tucking the ends beneath her.
Blake returned a few moments later with Leah and Cristina's velvet cloak. He handed Leah up into the fiacre and followed her inside, then took a seat beside Cristina where he began arranging her velvet cloak around her shoulders. "It won't take long to get there," he promised.
"Tell us what it's like," Cristina urged.
"It's an apartment in a very respectable building on the Ring opposite the site of the new Court Theater."
"Have you lived there long?"
"Not very." He shook his head, refusing to divulge any more details of his residence in Vienna.
"What's it like inside?" Cristina persisted, eager to know all about the new home Blake had provided for her and for their child.
"You'll see for yourself soon enough." Blake changed the subject by regaling her with the history of the Ringstrasse. "It's a wide boulevard built on the site of the ancient medieval wall that surrounded Vienna for centuries and provided protection from the Turks. The walls were razed and the Ring begun in honor of the birth of the crown prince. It has yet to be completed."
"You mean it's taken twenty years to build a street?" Leah blurted out.
Blake laughed. "Vienna can be a bit slow about things at times, but that's one of her charms. Everything changes and everything stays the same. Don't judge the engineers too harshly because this isn't just any street. The Ring is meant to be the center of all activity in Vienna. Everyone who is anyone will want to live on the Ring."
"And you have rooms here?" Cristina was surprised. "I thought you shunned polite society as much as possible."
"I do," Blake agreed. "But I like a new building as opposed to a four-hundred-year-old dwelling and the address is convenient."
The vehicle rolled to a stop before a modern, stone building, one of the newest on the Ring. Blake helped the ladies out of the fiacre and paid the driver. Cristina strained to see the exterior of the building but was unable to make out any details. The rain was heavier and the gaslights that lined the streets glowed eerily through the haze, giving off little light.
"Welcome home," Blake merrily announced, unlocking the door. He ushered Cristina into the first-floor apartment and lit the gas lamps.
Cristina looked around. "It's lovely," she breathed, "everything is perfect."
"I'm glad you like it. Cason has done his job well," Blake told her. "Now come see the rest of it. This is just the sitting room."
The apartment was larger than Cristina imagined. There were eight beautifully furnished rooms and a modern bath. Leah followed at a discreet distance as Blake took Cristina through the apartment. "There is a library through there"--he indicated a door--"a small kitchen, a guest room, a bedroom for Leah, and a master suite as well as the sitting room and dining room and bath."
"I don't know what to say!" Cristina exclaimed.
"Don't say anything until you see the rest of it," Blake told her.
"There's more?"
"A little." Blake took her hand in his and led her toward the master bedroom.
"Blake, you've already shown me the bedroom--" she began.
"You only saw a part of it," he explained, opening the door that connected the two rooms of the suite. "Surprise!"
Cristina couldn't believe her eyes. The second bedroom of the suite had been turned into a nursery with beige wallpaper printed with scenes of little girls hosting tea parties and little boys rolling hoops. A lace-canopied baby bed stood beside one wall and a matching cradle stood on the other. A rocking chair sat on a Turkish rug in the center of the room while a beautifully carved wooden hobbyhorse occupied a corner opposite the cradle.
Several porcelain dolls, a set of tin soldiers painted a vivid red, a toy drum, and a set of story books were placed about the room. It was a dream nursery.
"Oh, Blake, it's wonderful!" She hugged him impulsively. "You tricked me. You've never lived here. All this is brand new."
"Oh, but I did live here." Blake smiled at her.
"But a nursery?" Cristina's face dimmed the slightest bit as she wondered for a moment if this nursery had once been prepared for a child of Meredith's and abandoned after the death of their marriage.
"It was a bedroom. I've had decorators working around the clock for the past three days turning it into a nursery, painting and papering while I shopped. I knew you would want the baby close by. And I wanted to surprise you and make you happy."
"It's the best surprise I've ever had." The joy was back in her face. "It's wonderful! I can't believe you went to all this trouble for me."
"For us, Countess. I did it for us." The expression on his face was serious, his voice a little stern. "For you and me and our baby."
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Her eyes communicated her passion.
"I have to stay," he admitted. "I don't think I can force myself to leave."
"It will be all right," Cristina assured him, thinking of the problems their marriage could cause.
Blake nodded, "As long as we keep everything quiet. As long as we're discreet."
I know that's a secret, for it's
whispered every where.
--WILLIAM CONGREVE 1670-1729
*Chapter Twenty*
Discreet, it was impossible to be discreet in a city like Vienna. The very walls had ears and the Austrian populace loved nothing better than a romance. This new romance whetted their appetites for gossip. It seemed the mysterious comtesse di Rimaldi had wasted very little time in finding a new protector after the crown prince had broken her heart, but an English ambassador? The coffeehouses were full of whispered speculations concerning the real reason behind the absence of the prince. It was common knowledge around Vienna that the crown prince had bid farewell to his mistress at the request of the emperor. There had to be a reason. And the city's most enterprising gossips were hard at wor
k producing embellished stories and polishing rumors. The emperor didn't usually concern himself with his son's affairs of the heart; why this one? And just how acquainted was the English ambassador with the comtesse? The gossips had it on the best authority that the lady in question was with child. Whose child? That question was on the lips of many who regularly patronized the coffeehouses, and the Viennese were determined to find out. Blake heard the whispered rumors and speculations and ignored them. He had followed the rules as best he could. He had married Cristina in a small quiet ceremony in the tiny English church several blocks from the embassy with only Leah and Cason as witnesses, although he would have preferred the big formal wedding he had had with Meredith. And so far he had managed to follow his government's instructions and keep their marriage a secret when every fiber of his being urged him to have the church bells rung and to announce his good fortune from the spire of St. Stephen's.
Now his private life was his own. And if the Foreign Office couldn't accept that, then the Foreign Office be damned! He ignored the heated exchanges from London demanding that he cease his folly, as he ignored the lectures from his superiors regarding the gossip and the time he spent in Cristina's company and the possible consequences to his sterling career.
Let them wonder about the mysterious comtesse. Let them whisper about him at official functions. He could whisper a few things about some of their private lives if he chose to do so. For once, Blake Ashford, ninth earl of Lawrence, didn't give a damn what the British community thought of him. Being with Cristina and sharing the impending birth of his child was all that mattered to him.
He had meant to exercise restraint. To be discreet. But he couldn't stay away from Cristina. He didn't want to stay away. She was his wife even if the rest of the world thought otherwise, and Blake invented excuses to see her and spent every free moment in her company, taking her for carriage rides along the Ringstrasse, strolls in the Prater Amusement Park and the gardens of the Hofburg, and romantic carriage rides through the Vienna woods. He resented the diplomatic functions, receptions, and tedious court balls that kept him away from her. He preferred the quiet evenings in their apartment to anything the city had to offer. He stayed with her in spite of his better judgment and hadn't seen the inside of his bachelor's quarters for weeks. His nights were spent holding his bride in his arms. Blake knew he was behaving foolishly--throwing caution to the wind for the second time in his life. He felt once again like a youth caught in the maddening throes of first love, and while a part of him recognized the folly of his obsession, he was unwilling to control it.
Blake had always prided himself on his ability to detach himself from his emotions and even to perform distasteful duties with skill and certain aplomb. He enjoyed the company of generals, statesmen, and ruling monarchs and was stimulated by the conversation of brilliant men and the demanding task of dealing with problems in a logical manner. He had never dreamed he would risk it all for a woman. Any woman. The idea had been so repellent to him during his years with Meredith that he had plodded on in the marriage working to further himself in his career, loving his work when there was nothing else for him to love. His personal life had been a shambles for so long there had been no room for other involvements. Lovers had been expendable, easily acquired and just as easily discarded. And Blake had never doubted his way of life until he fell in love with Cristina.