Page 30
Author: Robyn Carr
Then as the conversation would draw near its end, their voices would grow lower and softer and their words more intense. “I miss you, mija,” he would say, his voice husky. “I can’t wait until you threaten me with a broken heart again. I think you’re all talk and you’ve lost interest in my heart. ”
And she would say, “Not at all—breaking your heart is still a huge priority with me. I’ll be back. ”
“Not soon enough. ”
“I miss your kisses,” she told him.
And he said, “Te tengo en mis brazos. ” I will hold you in my arms. “Te querido más te de lo tu hubieras. ” I have wanted you for longer than you know. “I will kiss you as much as you allow,” he translated incorrectly. It sent shivers through her.
November arrived, bringing crisp days and cold nights to the Sacramento valley, and she heard on the news that snow had fallen in the mountains. The pass from Red Bluff through the Trinity Alps to Virgin River could be closed now and any trip made to that part of the country would have to go from Sacramento to Ukiah and up the Mendocino valley. Just as well—highway 36 was treacherous and slow even in the best weather, but it was spectacular. Brie spent a lot of time thinking about which route she would take when she eventually decided it was time to return to Virgin River.
She told her sisters about him, but only one at a time, and sometimes in hushed tones that she knew became a little breathless. “He speaks to me in Spanish, in low, sexy Spanish, and then he lies about what he’s said, thinking I don’t know. ”
“What does he say?” Jeannie asked her.
“He’ll say something like, ‘I want to hold you and make love to you,’ and pretends he has said he would like to kiss me. ”
“Do you think you can have this in your life again? Intimacy of that kind? Are you ready for that?”
“I’m very nervous, but I long for it,” she said. “I want him. ”
“You trust him enough?”
“When I’m with him, I feel completely safe. Nurtured. Protected. He doesn’t hurry me—he’s very kind. Very cautious. He’s the only kind of man I could deal with right now, and he knows that. ” She shivered and said in a low breath, “But there’s a fire in him. I can feel it. ” She took a deep breath.
She’d been home from Virgin River for a month and was beginning to think in terms of going back after the holidays. But then Brad came to see her with an agenda that turned her world upside down again. It was afternoon and Brie had been thinking about what to prepare for dinner when she heard her father go to the door. It always gave her a little tremor when the doorbell rang, even in broad daylight, afraid of who it would be standing there, and that Sam would forget to check through the peephole.
Sam came into the kitchen and said, somberly, “It’s Brad. ”
She dried her hands on a dish towel. “Here?”
Sam nodded. “I’ll go to my office. ”
When she went into the family room, he was standing there, still wearing his leather jacket, the one she had given him two Christmases ago. His hands were in his pockets, his head down. He was as tall as Jack; as broad shouldered with a wide, hard chest. Looking at his back, she realized it could almost be Jack, and for a split second she wondered if she had married him because he resembled her brother in so many ways. That sandy-brown hair, square jaw, long legs, powerful physique.
Mike wasn’t anything like the Sheridan men—he was six feet, quite tall to her five foot three, but not towering like her brother and father, like Brad. His shoulders and arms were strong, but he was lean. There was that soft, coal-black hair, high cheekbones, black eyes, tan skin, his teeth so white they were almost startling. His hands were soft and his fingers long and graceful. She hadn’t seen him without a shirt, but she knew his chest and belly were muscled and hard, almost hairless. She found herself imagining that below his waist was more of that black hair, swirling downward. His legs were the strong, sculpted legs of a runner—she remembered the feel of his thighs as she lay across his lap to be kissed.
She had to shake herself, focus on the moment.
“Brad, what are you doing here?”
He lifted his head and turned, smiling when he saw her. He reached for her as an old friend might, his arms open. She allowed these brief hugs, but then extricated herself quickly. “I have to talk to you, Brie. Is this a good time?”
“It’s fine. Here, sit,” she said, indicating the couch. When he had taken a seat, she chose the love seat, not beside him but facing him at an angle.
“This is hard,” he said, dropping his chin, looking down. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for months. ” He stared at the floor for a moment.
“What is it, Brad?” she asked impatiently.
He took a breath. “Me and Christine,” he said. “We’re not together anymore. We split up. A few months ago. Not long after your… The incident. ”
It took her a second to absorb that. Then she gave a short huff of laughter and said, “I don’t know what you expect me to say. I’m sorry?”
He reached for her hands, but managed to snag only one. “Brie, I was a fool. I made a terrible mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m a screwup. But I still love you. I never stopped loving you. ”
She pulled her hand away, and the look on her face was one of incredulity. “You’re not serious. ”
He reached again, but she pulled back. “I know—it’s crazy. We split up months ago, but for months before that, we weren’t getting along at all. We tried to keep it together, if for no other reason than we’d put our spouses, our families through so much. Brie, it was never the answer, but I didn’t see it for a while. God, I’m so sorry. ”
Her face held the shock of what he’d just said—more than he even realized he’d said. Put our spouses through so much…? “She wasn’t divorced when it started,” Brie said softly. “She wasn’t, was she?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. “Not really, no. You know they were having trouble anyway. They weren’t going to make it. Glenn didn’t know about us,” he said with a shrug. “There wasn’t much to know. Really, there was all that other stuff. ”
“Christine and Glenn split up because of you!” she said. She stood up and backed away from him. “It was more than a year,” she said. “God, you took your best friend’s wife! And he doesn’t even know?” She turned sharply, presenting her back.
He approached her and put a hand on her shoulder. “No, it wasn’t exactly like that,” he said. “There were feelings, maybe. Temptations, I guess. A kiss or two. But I told you the truth about when we got involved. Physically…sexually… I just didn’t go all the way back to the beginning because honest to God, I didn’t know where the beginning was, or where it was going. Jesus, Brie—”
She turned around and faced him. “You left me a year ago. You were sleeping with her for a year before that. But you were fooling around with her for even longer, lying to me with every kiss good-night, every touch…. ”
“There was something physical…I can’t describe it…. It was like I couldn’t stop myself. ”
“Something physical?” She laughed. “Oh, God! You were sleeping with both of us! At least she threw Glenn out, but not you! You had two women! Two women who loved you, wanted you!” She laughed at him, a cynical and mean laugh. “You must have been in heaven! You think that’s something I’m going to get over?”
“I’m sorry. There’s no good explanation. I was an idiot. ”
“I’ve been paying you alimony. Even while I’ve been unemployed. ”
“I have it all. It’s not spent. ”
She shook her head in disbelief. “I never thought this could get worse. ”
He took another step toward her. “If you’ll give me a chance, I’d just like a chance to show you that I— I’m sorry, Brie. Can’t we—? Can’t we try again? See each other? See if we can rekindle some of what
we had? I know it’ll take time…. If we can’t, I have no one to blame but myself, but can we just—”
She gave a huff of laughter. “Poor Brad,” she said. “You went from two women who couldn’t get enough of you to no one. You’re not getting laid, are you? You’re pathetic!”
“I know you’re angry—you should be. I’ll make it up to you somehow. Just give me time, give us time—”
“No!” she yelled at him. “No!” And then she started to laugh again. “God, you don’t know how long I waited to hear you say that! Even while I was hating you, I might have taken you back!” She shook her head in disbelief. “Jesus! Thank God you didn’t pull this sooner. ”
“Brie—”
“For God’s sake, do I want anything to do with a man who can cheat on his wife because there’s some kind of physical thing? Something you can’t even explain? Forgive me, but I thought we had something physical!”
“We did. We will again. ”
“No. No. Go. Get out of here. You left me for my best friend and now you’d like to see if we can rekindle something? Oh, you are such a fool. What did I ever see in you? Why didn’t I know this about you? Go!”
“No, Brie, there’s more. ”
“I can’t take any more,” she said.
“They found him. ”
She was stunned for a second. She couldn’t breathe. “What?” she asked. “What did you say?”
He took a deep breath. “They found him—Jerome Powell. He’s in Florida. They have him in custody there. They’re working on the extradition. I think you’ll get a call tomorrow from the D. A. I heard it at work. ”
She took a step toward him. “Why didn’t you tell me this first?” she asked in a furious whisper.
“Because I wanted you to know that I love you. I’d like to be with you through this. With you when they bring him back. I want to take care of you. ”
“Oh, my God,” she said in a breath. “You thought I’d take you back out of fear? Helplessness? You’re an idiot, that’s what you are! A big, stupid, goddamn idiot!”
He hung his head. “Don’t you think I feel pretty terrible about what happened? Haven’t I been around since it happened? Don’t you think it’s killing me? Hell, Brie—that’s probably what broke me and Christine apart. ”
She started to laugh again, but tears smarted in her eyes at the same time. “It’s all about you, isn’t it, Brad?” There was a sweet voice in her head. There will be no taking, mija. Only giving.
“I want a chance to try to make it right,” he said.
“Well, you can’t. No one can make it right, especially you. You made your choice, Brad. You’re stuck with it. ” Then she ran out of the room. She went to her bedroom and slammed the door.
Brad was about to follow her when he came face-to-face with Sam, who blocked the hallway. “I think you’d better go, son,” he said patiently, but firmly.
“You heard?”
“Every ludicrous word. Goodbye, Brad,” he said.
Brad turned to leave and Sam followed him, locking the front door behind him.
In her bedroom, Brie was already folding clothes into neat little piles on the bed. She was thinking of Brad’s lame suggestion that he take care of her through this. He didn’t know the meaning of taking care of his woman.
There was a light tapping at the door. “Dad?” she asked.
“Yes, Brie. ”
“Come in, Daddy,” she said. When he opened the door, she filled his arms. “Oh, Daddy. ”