“They’re sure taking their time,” Lavena commented to Rebecca when she found her in the living room with a book. As had become a pattern, the younger girl did not answer unless she was so inclined.
“Why didn’t you go?”
Rebecca’s eyes had been on the window, but she now turned to the housekeeper.
“I don’t have anything to wear.”
Lavena snorted as Rebecca knew she would.
“What do you call that lot in the wardrobe upstairs? I wish I had dresses half that nice.”
“I don’t have a reason to doll up, Lavena.” Rebecca sounded tired, but her mind was made up. Indeed, when she’d seen Lucky yesterday for the first time since she’d come back, it had been very satisfying to see the surprise on his face. She knew she looked a hag and was glad of it. However, Lavena was not through.
“That’s ridiculous,” the older woman nearly spat. “Every woman should try to look her best.”
Rebecca’s look was telling. “I don’t see you dressing up to attract men, Lavena.”
“Of course not! I don’t have a husband, and I don’t want one.”
“Well, maybe I feel the same way.”
It was such a bald-faced admission that some of the fire went out of Lavena.
“Rebecca, child, you’ve already got one.”
Rebecca’s gaze went back out the window. “I’m more aware of that than anyone, Lavena. Besides, I would think you of all people would understand.”
“What do you mean?”
Rebecca looked at her. “My father never went into detail, but he led me to believe that your own marriage wasn’t exactly a picnic.”
Lavena suddenly sat down in the chair across from Rebecca. She lived with them, but she was normally not so familiar.
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Rebecca.”
“I think I do,” she said with calm assurance.
“No,” Lavena was shaking her head. “There’s no comparing Travis to my Frank. Frank was as cruel a man as ever to walk the earth. If I didn’t do what I was told, he’d slap me around. He took pleasure in my pain. One time he hit me so hard I didn’t wake up for several days.” Lavena’s face was a mask of pain as she remembered. “In the last few years it wasn’t so bad because he was so drunk most of the time he could barely stand. But we had nothing, no food and barely a roof over our heads. Winters were long and cold. He didn’t want me to work, and he couldn’t. It was a relief to find him dead one morning.”
Rebecca had never suspected. Her face was white with her emotions.
“I tell you, Rebecca,” Lavena finished softly, “Travis Buchanan is no Frank Larson. You don’t know how good you have it, having a man who loves you and provides for you.”
Lavena left the room after that. The hand that Rebecca brought to her face shook with suppressed emotions. How could she have known? Lavena seemed so strong and self-sufficient, but clearly she’d been forced to be. In a way, she had been forced as well, but even at that, Rebecca reminded herself, she had left of her own volition. Her book was forgotten in her lap for many minutes.
“Why are we stopping? I don’t see the school. Is it much farther? Can we go inside the school and see the desks? Are the horses tired? Wait until we tell Mama what we did.”
The boys’ comments and questions went on for a few minutes, and Travis let them rattle away as they sat on the seat beside him. He had deliberately stopped the wagon a block before the school could be seen. There was no one else around, and Travis felt he’d done the right thing to take them away from the church before he spoke.
“Boys.” He spoke the word softly, but his tone was firm. His sons both stopped instantly and looked at him.
“I called to you when you ran from the church to come back and tell Mr. and Mrs. Taggart good-bye. I also called to you about running in the church. I don’t want you to run in the church. And when you meet someone, it’s polite to say good-bye to them. Do you understand?”
Garrett nodded, but Wyatt looked confused.
“What’s the matter, Wyatt?”
“I like to run.”
Travis smiled a little. “I do too, but we can’t run inside the church or we could bump into someone and they might get hurt.”
“I did that one time,” Garrett volunteered. “I ran down the stairs and fell.”
“So you know just what I’m talking about. We’re going to go see the schoolhouse now, but I don’t want you to forget that when I talk to you, you have to listen. If you hear my voice or your mother’s, you stop and listen to what we have to say. Understand?”
Again the heads bobbed, and Travis felt he had said enough. How much could they take in at one time? There was so much to be covered. Although Travis tried to concentrate on how well they were doing, it struck him once again that they still had so far to go.
34
“We went inside. We saw the desks. We saw chalk. Mr. Tagged came too, just for a minute.”
“Mr. Tagged?” Rebecca turned to Travis.
“Taggart,” Travis corrected for them. Rebecca turned back to her ecstatic boys; indeed, they were nearly climbing on her. Travis was again amazed at their excitement. Their little faces were alight with pleasure as they tried to tell their mother everything in one breath. Travis waited until they had wound down some, and then did some explaining of his own.
“Wash up for dinner now, boys,” he told his sons before turning to Rebecca. “They asked on the way to church if they could see the school. Then once we were there, they saw Clayton Taggart and they were more excited than ever. Have they always been this eager to go to school?”
“Yes. For as long as I can remember. Especially Garrett. I hate to see them go, but I guess it’s time.”
“I don’t think—” Travis began, but the boys returned and cut him off. However, Rebecca caught it. She frowned in her husband’s direction as they sat down to eat. Travis saw it and decided they would have to talk after lunch. The boys were not aware of this plan, though, and as soon as Travis prayed the subject of school came up again.
“Can we go, Mama? Can we go to school?”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Rebecca began, careful not to look at her husband.
“Did you hear that, Wyatt?” Garrett began, but Travis cut him off, his eyes sending a clear message to his wife.
“Your mother and I need to discuss this first, Garrett.”
“Why?” the little boy turned to his mother and whined. “Wyatt and I want to go to school.”
“You’ll go to school when your mother and I decide it’s time.”
“I think they can go now,” Travis was amazed to hear Rebecca say. He looked down the table to find her staring at him defiantly. Travis felt the first kindling of anger. He had tried to keep this low key in front of the boys, but Rebecca was bound to have it out now. Travis was just irritated enough to oblige her.
“They can’t go now.”
“Says who?” Rebecca’s voice was belligerent.
“I’d rather we discuss this later,” Travis told her, seeing that they were only going to argue.
“No. It concerns the boys; they can hear.”
Travis could have throttled her. She was deliberately baiting him and the boys, whose futures were at stake, were taking in every word. He took some slow, deliberate bites of his food and then spoke to the boys.
“So you boys want to go to school?”
“Yeah,” they said as one.
“Do you think you’re ready?”
“We’re ready. We want to.”
Travis flicked a glance at Rebecca. “And you think they’re ready?”
Rebecca shrugged, still irritated. “I don’t know what you mean by ready. They can’t read, but that’s what you go to school to learn.”
“But you think they’re ready in other ways? Like doing what they’re told? Respecting other people’s property? Sitting still for a reasonable length of time in order to do their lessons and learn?”
Rebecca’s face flushed with anger. “They’re only five, Travis. They’ll learn those things along the way.”
“I don’t agree with you, Rebecca. By the time we’re five we’re supposed to have those things down.” Travis’ voice rose as well. “They couldn’t even make it through a church service that was an hour long. How do you expect them to sit all day in a schoolroom, no matter how interested they are?”
“What happened at church?” Rebecca was still angry, but Travis wasn’t going to tell her himself. He turned to the boys, who had lost all excitement over school.
“Tell your mother, Wyatt and Garrett. Tell her how it went this morning.”
The boys sat silent, their eyes on their plates. Travis let the silence hang for several seconds.
“This is what I’m talking about, Rebecca.” Travis’ voice was now calm. “If the boys won’t do something as simple as talk when they’re told to, how can we expect them to go up front and recite their lessons when the teacher asks them?”
Rebecca’s face was a mask of frustration. “You must love being right, Travis. It must make you feel good to belittle me.”
Travis could have howled in frustration—this was not about them—but instead he forced himself to remain calm.
“Pick up your plates, boys,” he instructed them. “Now walk into the kitchen and finish eating in there. Tell Lavena that I sent you, and that if you eat all your food, you can be the first to have dessert.”
The boys did this without question, and as soon as they were gone Travis speared his wife with his eyes, his voice low and intense.
“You’ve turned this into a competition between us, Rebecca, and it’s not going to work. We’re talking about the boys’ future. We can’t let our pride stand in the way. If you think I’m so wrong, then get another opinion. I didn’t even talk to Clay about the boys attending. If you think they’re ready, then take them to school tomorrow and ask him. He’s the teacher.”
The argument went out of Rebecca in a hurry. She felt utterly defeated. Travis watched her face and felt defeated himself. She thought he wanted only to belittle her, and that was the last thing on his mind. What he wanted to do was love her for the rest of their days, but he wisely kept that to himself. After a few quiet moments, Rebecca finally spoke, her voice sad.
“Everything you said is true, Travis, but because it’s true, it also means that I’m a complete failure as a mother. I don’t mind telling you that that doesn’t sit very well with me.”
“You’re not a failure, Rebecca,” he told her sincerely, hating the pain on her face. “I know the boys are a handful, but you and I have got to agree on what’s right for them. I’m sorry this came up in front of them, but I was afraid you would promise to take them when I can see that it’s too soon.”
“They want to go so badly.”
“Yes, they do, and we can give them hope. We can remind them that they can’t go to school unless they learn to obey and respect us. That will give them a glimpse of what will be expected of them, as well as help in their training.” Travis hesitated now but went on gently. “I’ve noticed that you have a hard time saying no to them. Maybe this will help. You can remind them that boys who go to school have to do what their elders tell them. Every time, not just when they feel like it.”
Rebecca stared at him. “How did you learn about this, Travis? How did you learn about training little boys?”
She had stumped him. He had no idea where it came from. He knew only that he wanted better from his boys than he was getting. He said as much to Rebecca.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Well,” Travis thought hard and tried to explain. “Some of the children I know from church seem pretty special. They’re sweet and fun, but I don’t have that much contact with them. In the past when I have been in contact with children who were disrespectful, I simply ignored them and went on my way. The last thing I want to do is ignore my sons. But when I walked into the kitchen that morning, Rebecca, and saw them screaming at you, I knew things had to change. I will not allow anyone to treat my wife like that, especially my own sons.
“There are going to be battles with the boys, but I’ll do whatever I have to so they will grow up respecting authority and the rights of those around them. It would seem to me that they’ve been the ones in charge up to now, and it’s time they learned otherwise.”
Rebecca wanted to argue but could not. Her boys did run things where she was concerned. Angel had asked her who was in charge in their home any number of times. It all still rankled. No one enjoyed having her faults pointed out, and Rebecca simply didn’t like Travis enough right now to see that he had been very gentle and was doing it all for her and the twins.
“You’re angry,” Travis said quietly. “I can see it in your face.”
“It’s just very arrogant on your part when you think about it, Travis.”
“What is?”
Rebecca was sorry she’d spoken but now refused to back down. “We were getting along fine for five years, and now you come in and say everything has to change.”
Travis stared at her. “Do you hear yourself, Rebecca?”
“Of course.” Her chin went into the air to give her courage. “We were fine.”
“You left me, Rebecca,” he reminded her. “You wrote to me.”
“I had my reason for leaving, Travis, and once gone I didn’t ask to be brought back from Pine Grove and have my world turned upside down.”
“So you want me to believe that if I’d left you there, you would have carried on as usual? No regrets, no need for someone else to share your life and help you with the boys?”
“That’s right.” Her chin went up even further.
Travis stood slowly and lifted his half-eaten plate of food. His voice was low, his eyes sad.
“Not only do you lie to me, Rebecca, you lie to yourself.”
He left the room before Rebecca could say a word, but her fury knew no bounds. She went to her room for the better part of the afternoon and wouldn’t speak or even look at Travis for the rest of the day.
“We saw her again on Sunday,” Wyatt told his mother at bedtime. It had been over a week since she and Travis had quarreled. She hadn’t said more than five words to him the whole time. They each took time in the evenings with the boys, but not together. Rebecca was no longer joining him for coffee in the living room. He had tried to talk to her, but she would have none of it. For the last two nights he had been gone, having taken the train to Denver on business. Rebecca told herself that she wished he would stay away forever, but it was getting harder to keep that in mind.
“Who did you see?” Rebecca asked absently.
“That pretty lady.” Wyatt’s voice was dreamy, and Rebecca stared at him. She had never seen Wyatt look like that, not even with Angel, and he’d been very taken with her. She licked her lips and forced her voice to sound calm.
“Someone in town?”
“At church.”
“What’s her name?”
“I think she has a boy’s name.”
This was not what Rebecca wanted to know.
“How did you meet her?”
“She always talks to Travis.”
“Yeah,” Garrett chimed in. “She smiles real pretty and holds his hand. Are you going to tell us a story, Mama?”
Rebecca said yes, but then her mind went blank. She ended up telling them about something silly she did as a child, and the boys ended up giggling and wrestling so fiercely that she threatened to spank them. She never had in the past, so the warning had no effect. Not until one of the boys got hurt and there were many tears did they calm down. Still telling herself that Travis was wrong about what the boys needed, Rebecca was only too glad to leave her sons for the night and find her own bed.
Travis slowly climbed the stairs, his bare feet making little sound on the wood. It was well after midnight. The train had been held up with track problems for hours. He was cold and tired, but the bath Lavena
had prepared for him had been worth the effort of coming home tonight and not waiting an extra day. Knowing he could wake up in his own bed was the other attraction. Discarding his jeans, he fell into bed and was asleep within a minute.
The lateness of getting to bed didn’t help his difficulty waking, but it was more than that. Travis struggled up from the haven of slumber and listened again to the odd noise. Not until he heard the boys cry out was he able to gather his wits in the darkness. But then it wasn’t dark, at least not all the time. Thunder and lightning in November?
Rising to the accompaniment of another crash and flash of light, Travis moved swiftly down the hall. Another blaze told him the boys were cowering in terror at the head of their bed. Without words, Travis went to them, taking one in each arm and carrying his sons to his own bed.
“I don’t like the noise.” Wyatt’s voice quivered.
“It’s all right. God sends the thunder and the rain and the snow. He’ll watch over us.”
Travis’ words were punctuated by another flash and bang, and his sons nearly choked him before they reached the bed. In an instant they scrambled under the covers. Travis edged them over and lay beside them.
“Come on up here on the pillow,” he urged. “Come up here and try to go back to sleep.”
“Where’s Mama?”
“She’s asleep just like you should be.”
“She doesn’t like storms. Do you think she’s scared?”
“No,” Travis assured them. “She’s sleeping soundly.”
There was a slight rustle and tussle, and Travis heard someone say, “I want to be by Travis.” There was more rustling, and finally a little body lodged itself next to Travis and lay still.
“Are you settled?”
“Yes.”
“Who’s next to me?”
“Me. Wyatt.”
“Are you all right, Garrett?”
“Yes.”
They fell silent for a time. Travis prayed that they would all fall asleep; he was certainly ready to, but someone had a question.