Chapter Three
I saw my mom, Bianca, and Bianca’s parents by the door.
As Kara and I walked closer, I tried to judge my mother’s composure. She wasn’t tense at all. She was smiling and nodding along with something Bianca’s father was saying. She even smiled at me as I walked up. On the surface this all felt cool, the undercurrent had me bracing for the worst.
“I’ll let you know how that case works out,” Mr. Nathenson said to us as my mom reached out to guide me toward the parking lot like we were in a hurry to leave.
My mom glanced back and smiled, then reached her arm around my shoulders.
“What case?” I asked once we were far enough away not to be heard.
My mom tightened her arm around me. “Mr. Nathenson was concerned about the delivery boy that brought the food to your party. He asked his friend at the DA’s office to look into it. They’ve linked several cases matching deliveries and robberies. They even made a few arrests.”
I was very careful not to let the confusion I was feeling surface in my expression. Bianca had admitted to me that she had given me what she thought was Valium. Now they’re saying that her alibi was real?
She squeezed my shoulder.
“My car’s over here, ride with Kara. I have a few calls to make. I don’t want you to be bored.”
In a daze I walked at Kara’s side to her car.
I got in, put my seatbelt on, and slouched in my seat. I couldn’t keep my legs still. I bounced them along with the rhythm of the song I was playing in my mind. Without even realizing it, my fingers started to move against the seat. I felt my breath start to come back to me. I was still anxious, but I could deal.
Kara climbed in and glanced down at my fingers moving in random order against the seat. I pulled my fingers into a fist. Once Kara got out of the parking lot, she pointed at the radio. “Go ahead, play your music as loud as you want.”
“I don’t listen to the radio.”
She turned the radio up anyway.
A few minutes later, she turned it down and glanced at me. “What’s your favorite song?”
“The one I hear right now,” I said, pointing to my head, “– is track 1. I don’t know the name of the band.”
“Track one on what?” she asked, prodding me to open up to her.
“My phone. It’s a good song. Great sound. Perfect voice.”
Kara looked down at my fingers still moving along with what I could remember of the song. She relaxed in her seat. “Looks like it’s helping you.”
“Kara, please, no more with the fake bonding.”
“Not fake,” she said under her breath. “Music was your first voice Charlie; find your way back through it.”
I mumbled, “It would be easier if I had my phone.”
She didn’t respond. Silence took over as the miles passed.
“I should’ve let you drive,” she complained.
I gave a half roll of my eyes. I knew this was another olive branch. I’d taken Drivers Ed and passed with flying colors. I’ve had my license for almost a year now, but I live in the city. Driving was something I never did. It took too long. Or so my mom said when I asked for her keys.
“What? You don’t think I’m driving you around all summer, do you?” she said, winking at me.
I sat up in my seat, not believing what I was hearing, “You’re going to let me drive your car—really?”
“I didn’t say that,” she said, laughing.
Knew it! Olive braches only work when you deliver, Kara.
As we came closer to Salem, shadows from the trees alongside the road took over the sunlight. In my head, they were reaching out for me. Demanding that I help, or worse that I promised I would. No one in their right mind would toy with the dead. I may’ve a few chapters missing from my head, but I wasn’t a fool. I was better off when I ignored this presence of dark—, my inner chant halted when a sharp pain shot through my head.
I guess the side effects were still jacking with me.
Kara reached in her purse and handed me a zip lock bag my mom must’ve supplied her with. I swallowed the Tylenol inside knowing it was useless. What I needed was a mental jackhammer to help me break down the walls in my head.
My thoughts didn’t agree with my gut. It was smart to be afraid, thoughts and gut agreed. After that point, my gut wanted me to face my fears and see them for what they were. My head disagreed, and when it thought it was losing ground—it stabbed me. The pain stole my train of thought and left with a sour disposition.
I was a curse bolting into my hometown. Even though I was a breath away from legal adulthood there was nothing I could do to stop it. Mom wanted me here—I was going here.
An hour later Mom called and told Kara to go to the restaurant first that she was starving. I was hungry, too, but I wanted to change before we went out. I hated wearing this black dress. I looked down at my hoodie covering it and decided I didn’t look as uptight as I thought I did. For good measure I lowered my hood and adjusted my ponytail, then pulled it across my shoulder before I raised my hood again.
“Are you really going to keep that hood on?” Kara asked as we pulled in the parking lot.
“Don’t worry, Kara. I have lots of these. I’ll let you borrow one if you want,” I teased.
“Maybe so, but I’m the one who packed your bags.”
“What? Tell me you packed them!” I said, not sure if she was teasing or not.
“Calm down. Hoodies, tank tops, and jeans all packed,” she said, reaching to pat me on the knee.
My mother parked next to us. She was on the phone and waved for us to go on without her. I was sure it was some business call. She worked every day, all day. As we walked in, I purposely avoided the shadows that were stretched across the sidewalk. My awkward path didn’t surprise Kara; she avoided them with me.
I heard the whispers, “Charlie, you promised.”
It was almost one in the afternoon, but the restaurant wasn’t crowded at all. Kara walked over to the hostess and whispered something quietly to her; the girl nodded, then turned and went toward the kitchen.
“You better not be planning some kinda song or somethin’. I’m serious, don’t mortify me.”
“No surprises,” she said under her breath as she texted at the speed of light. “Not ready.”
My gaze was drawn to the dinning room, almost like I heard someone call my name. At one of the tables by the window a guy my age was sitting with an older one. I locked gazes with him, once I did, adrenaline burned through my body. The good kind, the vibe that promises that you’re standing in a ‘marked moment’ that will change your life, one way or another.
My heart had never beat this fast.
This guy...I’d never seen anyone like him. He had striking, hard not to stare features—high cheekbones, a sharp jawline, and those lips...
A beautiful dark angel...
Normally, glancing away is the best thing to do when it’s obvious you’re checking out someone, but I couldn’t. I felt pulled to him. I had to tell myself to stand still—to not walk over to him in some kind of insane trance.
He ticked his chin up in my direction, a silent hello. I almost smiled back, but the move had shifted his dark locks out of his eyes—his jade eyes lined in thick dark lashes.
The cab ride home from the ER, the cologne and note all slammed back into my mind. Seconds ago they were part of the haze I was trying to put behind me. Just like the vision I had of jade eyes looking at me like I destroyed them.
The unknown void in my life left me staring at him like he was a haunt I needed to vanish from my life. I struggled to change my expression, but by the time I did, he’d dropped his eyes to his phone and started to answer the message that had broken our moment.
“Charlie…are you alright?” she asked, stepping closer to me and glancing over her shoulder at the dining room.
“I...I want to go home. Can you just order something?”
“You??
?re home. Let’s just eat. You’re fine.”
I dared to look at the boy again, he was looking my way again. This time I gave him a cagy grin, before I looked away. Marked moment or not, I was damaged goods right about now. I didn’t need to be scouting hook ups.
What the guy did do was promise me I wasn’t crazy when I adamantly said Britain was not my type. This guy wasn’t just a type I dug. He had a vibe that mine recognized. He felt real to me. Like he wasn’t afraid of his dark side, or felt the need to hide it—he embraced it.
A dull pain shot through my head as my gut tugged at my attention. My style might’ve made me seem like someone who liked the wicked, at the very least the eccentric—least traveled path, but I was a poser. I ignored how haunted I was.
The hostess returned then grabbed our menus. She began to lead Kara and me in the direction of the guy’s table. I found it easier to breathe with each step. I could feel my body tingle with an energy that was beyond comprehension. My heart was still racing, but I could handle the rhythm.
I liked it.
Thinking about him—this recognition of my soul, was the distraction I needed. The breath of fresh air that told me I was bigger than a moment that happened to me.
I could still hear the whispers behind the hum of the dining room, but they were struggling to make themselves known. Almost like they were busted, and knew it, each second I heard them less.
This guy was saying something to the one he was eating with, I could see his lips carefully shaping each word, but he was staring at me, all around me. His undivided attention made me feel like I could conquer anything. Unseen chains were breaking away. It’s crazy to think he had the power to free me from a prison I put myself into, but believing he did helped. I’d take any holistic cure I could find at this point.
He wasn’t staring into my eyes anymore. At first, I thought he was checking me out, but then I realized he was looking at the space around me.
The booth where we were seated was two away from them. It looked out at the row of tables by the windows. On purpose, I sat at the edge of the booth so I could steal a glance or two.
Kara ordered our drinks, and when the waitress stepped away I stole another glance. I found his eyes waiting on me. I slowly reached for my hood and let it fall behind me. I pulled my ponytail loose and leaned forward on the table. I wasn’t posing, not at all. I’m too shy for that.
It was just that...I didn’t feel like I needed the security blanket of my hood. I wanted to see out, and I wasn’t scared of letting someone else see in. A grin ghosted across the corners of his lips. Painful anger took residence in the glint of his eyes.
A look I knew, my gut screamed at me as I braced for a headache I didn’t want. The pain, like the whispers, stayed away.
I trembled with a fear I didn’t understand. This fear stopped me from contemplating exactly how many memories I’d lost.
“If Mom doesn’t hurry up, I’m just going to order for her,” Kara complained as she checked her phone.
“That call could last forever. You might as well order hers to go.”
My mom had a tendency to lose herself on business calls. When she said, “Just give me a second,” it always turned into an hour.
The boy and man got up from their table. As they passed us, the older man nodded in my direction. Now that I could see him clearly, I was almost certain he was the guy’s dad; he was just an older version of him.
The man carried himself in the manner I imagined my father would if he were still alive, like a free spirit that didn’t care what others thought but somehow made people fall in love at a distance. If I had to guess, I’d say that he either inspired or had a passion for music, too. I don’t know how I did it, but I could spot a musician from a mile away. They don’t even have to dress a certain way. It’s just the vibe I feel coming from them.
As the guy came closer, I balled my hands into fists. I didn’t want him to go but there was nothing I could do to keep him there. The few and far between whispers stopped harassing me, now the only word on their lips was Draven.
The sound of the name ripped through my head leaving a soaring pain blazing its path. The vision of a wounded, jade stare, the smell, feel of a life force fought to surface but was choked out by the survival instinct that hastens pain, at least the cause of it, as fast as it can.
As he passed my booth he reached his hand out and let his fingers dance across the edge. Everything was in slow motion. One second his fingertips were on the wood, the next they swayed across the flesh of my hand. The high of highs, the relief that absorbs the body the second torment is vacated enveloped me.
“Charlie?” Kara said when I turned to watch him leave.
“I’m not hungry. Can we just go?”
Frustration clouded her eyes as she gave her attention to the menu once again. Through the window I watched his long gate as he made his way down the sidewalk. I’d give anything for an ounce of the confidence he was blaring. He stepped off the curb and unlocked a dark gray Hummer.
The man made his way to the passenger door, which was by my mother’s driver side. He looked through the windshield at her and waved. A beaming, relived, smile spread across her face. She ended her call abruptly and stepped out of her car. The man held his arms out, and she reached up and embraced him. My eyes widened as I surveyed the scene.
“Um, Kara, Mom is hugging a man and smiling, like, really smiling.” Mom didn’t date, ever. I didn’t really care about her social life right then. I cared about a link I found. My addiction of choice wasn’t lost to the fates anymore.
Kara didn’t bother to look up, “Evan Michaels. Your dad’s best friend.”
I bit my lip trying to reason what she was saying through the pain in my head.
“Charlie,” Kara said softly, like she knew any added noise would fracture me. “You’ve forgotten more than you realize. Some think talking to you straight could be dangerous.” She mournfully studied me for a second. “If it were up to me I’d tell you all about the Charlie I know. Who she loves, what her passions are, what drives her. I’d tell you why she’s not like any other teen I’ve ever met.” She swayed her head. “But I’m not going to risk losing that girl to this version.” She said with a tick of her head toward my fidgety hands and turned in shoulders. “Fight what doesn’t feel right. Fight what you’re terrified of. The best things resid behind fear, once you step outside of the shock you are using as shield. You can beat this, Charlie. I need you to believe you can.”
My eyes glazed over as I tilted my head. “I’m losing it, Kara,” I said wanting to run like hell. I felt this girl she was trying see in me, she was deep inside rattling her cage swearing vengeance. I just couldn’t find her, not in the thick fog my thoughts were. When I would try to push through my anxieties would roar like an unseen beast ready to devour my audacity and curl back up and try to recount my steps.
She reached for my hands. “No, baby, no. You’re getting it back. The cure is worse than the aliment. Face the blocks that are making you cringe. I swear to you there’s good behind those walls.”
I nodded shakily as my stare was drawn back outside. Coming home still felt like a bad idea, like I was polluting the waters, but I knew I couldn’t say something like this to mom. She was strong and she expected me to be the same.
“Draven,” she said, only at first I thought it was the whispers saying it. “He’s in the driver’s seat. Sometimes I get him and Aden backward at a distance.”
I vaguely chucked my chin up at him when he glanced my way. I briefly closed my eyes when the sting of pain became a bit too much.
“Aden has dimples. If I catch them grinning I never call it wrong no matter how far away they are.”
Mom was explaining something to Draven’s dad, Evan. He was nodding along. Draven had his left arm draped across the steering wheel as he leaned toward the passenger seat, listening to them talk.
I had this overwhelming fear that she was telling them t
hat she was hiding me away from some boy. Draven glanced over his arm through the window at me once more. I wasn’t a fan of the hint of wrath I saw there. I tightened my jaw and shook my head ‘No’ once. I think, unconsciously, I was trying to tell him not to listen to what my mom may or may not be saying about me.
“I know them,” I admitted even though I didn’t have a single clear thought to back up my words.
I was doing what Kara said, facing the walls. It hurt like hell, I was a heartbeat away from passing out, but I was still kicking.
“How,” Kara whispered.
The careful slant of my head told her that one question was too much too soon.
“Evan...Draven...Aden...and Nana,” Kara said like she was ripping off a bandaid.
I arched a brow. I had no Nana, Kara and my mom was it. I hissed through the pain of headache.
I waved my hand telling her to go on, hit me again.
“No, I think they were right, you need to come at this in your time, not mine.”
“Give me the blurb,” I spat out. Kara loved writing, but hated blurbs. Summing up things was not her gig. I needed leads though. Something to help pull me out, my gut might’ve been all about facing my demons, but it wasn’t suicidal. I had to figure my deal out before I started adding to my roster of people to keep in check.
Kara arched a brow, made a face then took a stab at it.
“Nana is the twins grandmother—their mom’s mom. She died during their delivery. Cystic fibrosis was the ultimate cause. Nana has always lived with them, even when they stay in the UK. A single workaholic parent is one of many things you have in common with that part of your crew.”
I raised my hand telling her to stop. I only heard the first part, after that I pushed back to the corner of my mind as thoughts struggled to find their way into my memories. I didn’t open my eyes again until long after Kara had ordered for all of us.
I’d felt mom sit down beside me. “Sorry, girls.”
“How did that phone call go?” Kara asked.
Small talk, good I could handle that.
“Perfect,” Mom said as she dug in her purse, and then pulled out her stash of oils. She might look prim and proper, but I knew this woman was a hippy under it all and wasn’t shocked one bit my rock star father had snared her. The aroma of choice was peppermint and lavender. I didn’t need her direction. I took the small glass bottle and rubbed a dab on my temples. The onset of my migraine started to numb.
“A little food and you’ll be good,” Mom said as the waitress put our order down.
“I’m going to go ahead and drive back tonight,” Mom said, once we were deep into our meal.
“That’s a long drive to make at night, mom. Just stay,” Kara said.
“Better this way.”
They were the queens of small talk after that point. Mom talked about the business trips she had coming up, Kara mentioned her book and how her hubby was.
Once we finished our lunch, Kara asked Mom. “Do you want to go ahead of us?”
Mom pulled a credit card out of her wallet and laid it on the table. She kissed the side of my head before she stood. “I’ll call you if I decide that stopping for dessert will be a good idea,” Mom said to Kara.
Yeah, that was odd. I focused on Kara questioning what was up. She grinned. “No more blurbs from me, not today.”
Once in the car I slouched low in my seat. All I could smell were peppermints. All I could hear was the bustle of the street behind us. Under it all, I was sure there was a hum of darkness, but it was watching me from afar now. A boundary I didn’t trust.