"What are you saying, Toni? This is the second time you have come to me saying there is another Guido out there?"
Guido was plodding around his office in his yellow socks, holding the mobile phone in one hand, a spray can of blue paint in the other and wearing a pair of oversized decorator's overalls. "I am too busy to be bothered with this sort of shit. I told you to sort it out, find out more. Did you give Tahir his bottle of whisky?"
He listened. Then: "Tahir is no good, Toni. You must kick him. Yah, I know he has an important job in the bank. That does not make him useful. He got his job on the Central Bank Board because we and our big friend fixed it, but he will lose the job just as quickly. There are plenty of others who'd like to earn a million dollars - it's so easy now with Puff and Slush Version Two."
Guido, listening, still walking in circles, still shaking the rattling can of spray paint, looked at the ceiling and held the phone away from his ear as if the one called Toni should speak to the wall instead. His pink, bud-like lips twisted and there was a piecing scream.
"Yaaaahh! Enough, enough. Your voice, Toni. It reminds me of a talking, fucking parrot - on, on, on, problems, problems, problems. Where is your good news?" He paused, put the can of spray paint on his desk and sat in his swivel chair.
"Do you want some parrot seed? A mirror to see your red, blue and yellow face with the long hooked beak? Pretty Polly, pretty Polly. You want to speak some more parrot talk? Now you listen to me. Guido is going to ask you a question. If you get the answer wrong Guido will visit you, drag you out of your cage and wring your fucking scrawny parrot neck. OK? Are you hearing me?......Good. Now here is my question. Get it wrong and you know what will happen. Are you ready...........? I don't fucking care, Toni parrot. You are either well informed on this business or you are as about as fucking useless as baby Tahir........Are you ready now?..........Good. Here is the question. What is the name of Hamid and Farid's company set up to deal with that Lebanese business?"
He sat back, reached for the spray can, turned it around and around and looked at the ceiling, rolling his eyes, waiting.
"I'm waiting, Toni. Did you hear the question? Because if you don't fucking know the answer, how can you check why they have not been in touch, where they are and what the fuck they are doing instead of doing business with us. In other words, Toni, what the fuck is going on? So.......come on......I'm still waiting........ Yes, you are right. It has something to do with picking fruit. What fucking fruit?.......OK........enough. I will come and wring your neck, but only half a turn because you got it half right. It's Cherry Picking Investments you stupid parrot. What is it called, Toni?.....that's it. And what are their names, Toni?.......Correct.......And what are you going to do right now, Toni?........That's right. Find out what the fuck is going on and let me know. Guido has a very busy day today. It is a hands on day, not a looking at computer day. And I have another two hundred boxes full of old newspapers that I have to spray with nice blue marks for Daisy Children's Charity and ........Why? Because Mr Moses in Sierra Leone will buy the two hundred boxes of water purification equipment still sitting in the airport in Freetown. So how else can we satisfy our buyer and not attract attention if we don't replace them all with identical boxes. Our boxes will fly out tonight on Swiss Air. But I've got blue paint all over my overalls and in my hair."