What do you want to do for a long time? Arcineh asked herself, but there was no immediate answer. She still wasn't interested in
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college, and she didn't want to tile. Wondering how she could be so confused when just a short time ago life seemed to be falling into place, Arcineh slipped into the shower and began to pray.
You know what my heart wants. You can see inside of me, she said to the Lord. I don't know exactly how Gage feels, but I just want to be in his life. And Sam's. I never want to be away from Sam again.
Arcineh heard herself and stopped. God was not a genie in the lamp that you gave your wishes to. Arcineh scrubbed her hair, wanting to trust God but feeling anxious.
Why do I think that You can't handle things? I keep putting You on my helpless level, and I know that's selling You short. Help me, Lord Jesus. Help me to trust You with all of me. I am a worrier. I never thought I was, but I'm anxious about so many things. Gage calls it distraction, but it's worry. I worry about Will and Jalaina and my future and Sam dying and Gage asking me to marry him.
Arcineh made herself stop. She confessed the anxiety inside of her and finished in the shower. Forcing her mind to remember verses that promised her God was exactly who He said He was, Arcineh slowed down and made herself do the hard work of choosing to trust.
"Did you use sunblock?" Violet asked when she found Arcineh on a raft in the pool on Saturday afternoon. Sam and Gage were working on reconstructing Rugby. Arcineh had been feeling sorry for herself and then remembered there was a pool to enjoy.
"No:"
"You're going to burn," Violet warned.
"I never burn:' the younger woman countered. "Don't you remember me as a teen? I was black as a berry all summer'
"I remember:' Violet said. She'd put her towel down and gone in the shallow end. Arcineh flipped off the mattress. She swam to the shallow end to find Violet getting comfortable on the steps.
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"Let me guess," Arcineh teased. "You don't want to get your hair wet."
Violet flicked water at her and laughed, but it wasn't long before she remembered something.
"And what are you doing working on the laundry?" she suddenly demanded.
"I always do my laundry"
"But you did Sam's too. Are you trying to put me out of a job?" "As if I could:' Arcineh argued and then explained, "I didn't have a full load."
"I thought you were going to give your things to me when you didn't have a full load:'
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that:'
Violet flicked water at her again.
"I'm going off the board," Arcineh announced, starting to climb from the pool.
"You're just trying to get my hair wet," Violet accused her. Arcineh laughed but didn't actually deny it. Violet's hair did get
splashed, but by the time Arcineh reached her side all was forgiven. "How long will you work for Sam?" Arcineh asked.
"Until one of us dies," Violet said, not sounding the least bit bothered by the idea.
"What will you do if Sam dies first?" Arcineh asked the obvious question as Sam was at least 20 years older.
"He's provided for me," Violet explained.
"I didn't know that."
"I didn't know it until a few months ago."
"What has he done?"
"He set up a special account and also included me in his will." Arcineh stared at her.
"He has changed, Arcie the older woman said, stuffing her hair under a cap. "You're certainly right about that."
Violet pushed off the edge of the steps just then and began laps.
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Clearly she was done talking about Sam, but unless Arcineh completely missed her guess, Violet was not done thinking about it.
EDS29
Sunday felt normal. The long hours Sam and Gage had been putting in had felt all wrong to Arcineh, but at last Sunday had arrived and they were in church together. Pastor Simon had started a series on the topic of prayer, and Arcineh was amazed at the things she didn't know. Even understanding that prayer was more than talking to God, that it was agreeing with God, was so new to Arcineh that when the last song was sung, she just sat quietly, working to take it all in.
"Hello" Jalaina and Will were at her pew not five minutes later, Emilie in Will's arms.
"I didn't know you were here:' Arcineh said, snapping out of her thoughts and reaching for Emilie.
"We were late and sat in the back'
"Are you free for lunch?" Sam invited.
"Not today. Grandma is expecting us," Will answered.
"She's expecting Emilie," Jalaina corrected. Everyone laughed, but the Schafer family did not rush away. Will sat near Sam and had a few more questions for him. Jalaina listened very carefully to the answers, and Arcineh, watching her, knew in her heart that she was starved for the things Sam shared. The time ran away from them, and they were some of the last people out of the building, but that was all right. Will said they would see them all next week
Arcineh prayed for them off and on all day, and it was wonderful. She, Sam, and Gage spent the day together, a day full of naps, conversation, and sometimes silence, and one that ended all too soon. Long before Arcineh was ready, Gage was saying goodnight, and she and Sam were headed to their rooms. The workweek was on top of them again.
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Chapter Twenty-Six
Sam came home late on Thursday night, calling himself every kind of fool. He thought he would have known better by now, but that was not the case.
The house was dark and quiet, but that didn't change his intent. He had to speak to Arcineh, who was just a little more quiet and withdrawn around the office each day. How could he have forgotten that she would never compete for his or Gage's attention--not with a person and not with a company.
Her bedroom door creaked a little when he opened it, and much as he hated to wake her, Sam left the light on in the hall so he could find his way in.
"Sam?" Arcineh came up on one elbow. "Is something wrong?" "No, but I have to talk to you:"
Arcineh put her light on and squinted against the glare. Sam sat on the edge of the bed while Arcineh pushed against the headboard, her brain fuzzy with sleep.
"I have to apologize Sam said. "I'm all wrapped up in Rugby, and
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I'm taking Gage with me. I just remembered you. I thought I was over that type of behavior, but I'm not:'
Arcineh nodded, her face thoughtful.
"Are you all right?" Sam asked.
"Gage missed our dance lesson:' she said, her voice sad. "He didn't call, so I know he didn't even remember missing it:'
"Oh, honey:' Sam began, but Arcineh went on.
"It feels like old times, Sam," Arcineh said, and that was not a positive thing.
"I'm sure it does. I'm sorry:' he repeated.
"Maybe I should go away for a while Arcineh suggested. "I mean, I'll still love Gage and want to be with you, but my expectations will be less if I'm not here:'
"No:' Sam denied softly. "That's not the way to handle this. We've got to talk to you more and tell you what we're doing and how it's going:' "How much longer, Sam?" Arcineh asked.
"Probably at least a month, maybe more'
Arcineh sighed. "I guess if I know the end is in sight, I can hang in there. I'm not trying to be the center of attention. It just feels like I was the thing that Gage was into for a while, and now he's moved on:'
"I can see how you would feel that way, but that's not the case. You've never expected to be the center of attention, and that makes you easy to set aside. I'm sorry"
"You don't have to apologize anymore"
Sam nodded before saying, "Give Gage a few more days. We have nonstop meetings tomorrow, so he might not remember right away about that dance lesson, but he will remember:'
"Even if you have to tell him?"
"Yes. I'm part of the reason he's been drawn away. I've thrown myself into this, and he's naturally followed:'
The Br
yants looked at each other. This was not a conversation they could have had in the past. Painful as it was for Arcineh right now, she knew God was working in each of them.
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"Will you be able to get back to sleep?"
"I think so. Is all of this making you tired?"
"A little. At the same time, being back in the business world fires my blood:'
Arcineh had to smile at him. He looked just as good as always. Sam stood and then bent to kiss her cheek. "I love you:' he said. "I love you, Sam:"
"Are you going to make it?"
Arcineh nodded, suddenly sure that she was. However, when her grandfather exited, she sat thinking about some things she might do, some outside interests. Right now she was spending a little too much time waiting for others to have time. She thought it might not hurt to do a little more with her life.
"Did you want to see me?" Arcineh asked when she entered the office on Friday.
"Yes. Can you take a memo?"
"A memo?" Arcineh asked from across the room, just holding her smile. "It's a little late in the day, isn't it?"
Gage looked at the clock. "We have five minutes."
"I thought with email, memos were pretty outmoded:'
"But if you don't come in and take a memo, how will I have an excuse to chase you around the desk?"
Arcineh smiled but didn't answer. She wanted to laugh with delight--Gage always seemed to have that effect on her--but forced herself not to.
"I've been waiting for years to do that with my secretary:' Gage continued, his eyes watchful. "And now she's not just my secretary but the woman I love."
Arcineh stared at him.
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"It's not a parlor trick. I'm not trying to distract you into thinking I'm not gone as much as I am. I missed our dance lesson last night, and there is no excuse. But that doesn't change my feelings. I'm in love with you, and this is the real deal for me:'
"You just have to get the company under control."
"Yes."
Arcineh stood still, trying to understand her feelings. She loved this man but was afraid too.
"Can you come a little closer?" Gage invited, and Arcineh went to where he was sitting on the front of his desk. She sat next to him, and they looked at each other.
"I am so sorry about last night. I didn't think of it until lunchtime today."
"I understand."
"Do you also understand that I love you?"
"I love you too
Gage sighed and put an arm around her. "I don't want to lose you:'
"I don't want that either, but I'm also not good at flapping around to
get someone's attention. And all my doubts began to flood back in." "Did you think you couldn't call me about the dance lesson?" "It would only have interrupted whatever you were doing and
made you feel guilty."
Gage suddenly looked surprised. "We haven't played tennis, either."
Arcineh slowly shook her head.
"We'll make up for all of this. When things settle down, we'll have the time of our lives. You'll see so much of me, you'll want to run away:'
"That's not going to happen:' Arcineh said, and the two stopped talking. For a long time they looked into each other's eyes. Gage finally spoke.
"Sometimes I think I started to love you the moment I set eyes on you."
"Even in those funny shoes and skirts?"
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"I saw you before that:'
"Where?"
"At Blankenship Dance and Aerobics. Erika had just worked out and wanted to stay and watch Windy City. I didn't know who you were, but I was captivated:'
"I didn't know that:' Arcineh said, her mouth open in surprise.
Gage leaned to kiss that mouth just before someone knocked on the door. It was Sam. They had another meeting. Before Gage let her go he hugged her and reminded her again, this time softly in her ear, that she was loved very much.
"Are you sure?" Jalaina asked, amazed at Arcineh's offer when she arrived at their apartment on Saturday morning.
"Yes, I'm free all day, now go do something fun. I'll keep her happy until you have to nurse again:'
Will and Jalaina did not argue. They had not had a day free since Emilie was born. They didn't have a day now--Emilie still needed her mother--but a few hours alone was a gift they were not going to pass up.
After they left, Arcineh and Emilie played for the better part of an hour before Emilie fell sound asleep. Arcineh was not idle. Putting the baby in her cradle in the living room where she could hear every sound she made, Arcineh began to clean. It was not her favorite task, and she didn't get past the kitchen and living room before Emilie woke, but it also did the trick. She didn't think about Gage and Sam until just before Will and Jalaina came back in the door.
Arcineh could not stop crying. Jalaina and Will had stayed after the service on Sunday morning and met with Pastor Simon. The
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couple had knelt in his office to pray, telling God that they believed on His Son alone. They had come from the church to Sam's to share the good news.
"You have to stop, Arcie," Jalaina begged her friend, her own tears flowing unchecked.
"I can't:' Arcineh said. "I'm so thankful for you, Jalaina. You've been the best friend in the world. I've begged God to save you, and now He has."
Will could not stop smiling. He had not known what he was missing and could not stop thanking Sam for all his words and prayers.
"And now I can share with my family" Jalaina said at last. Arcineh nodded, having prayed for Grandma, Marco, Nicky, and Libby so many times.
The Schafers didn't linger, and as soon as they left, Arcineh wished that Gage was home so she could share the news. Things were just starting to come together at Rugby, and Gage had gone on his annual bike ride with friends from college.
Arcineh talked to him in her mind for the rest of the day, and when the phone rang before dinner, she hoped it would be Gage. It was Erika. Gage had fallen from his bike and was in the hospital. Sam and Arcineh rushed to the car and made a beeline for the hospital.
"Erika?" Gage asked from his hospital bed, his eyes still closed. "Are you still in here?"
"Yes."
"Have you gotten ahold of Arcie? I have to talk to her."
"Gage:' Arcineh said his name and took his hand when he reached
for her. His grip was surprisingly strong, and he was not letting go. "I didn't know you were here he said, sounding choked up, his
eyes still closed.
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"I'm here she said, sitting as close as the side rails on the bed would allow.
"Don't go:'
"I won't:'
Arcineh glanced and saw again the helmet on the windowsill. A large dog had darted out without warning and straight into the side of Gage's bike. Gage's head had hit the pavement, a blow that would have likely killed him had he not been wearing that helmet. He also had broken ribs to contend with and multiple abrasions.
Thank You, Lord, Arcineh prayed. Thank You for sparing him. Help him to recover and to remember Your hand in this. Please use this to make me more aware of how fragile our lives are.
"Marry me Gage suddenly said.
Arcineh watched Erika's hand go to her mouth, her eyes flood with tears.
"There you go again, picking those romantic settings," she teased Gage, working not to cry herself.
"What do you mean?"
"Our first real kiss was in your garage, then you told me you loved me in your office, and now you propose in a hospital room:'
"You deserve better," he said seriously, his hand still gripping hers.
"I was just teasing:'
"Don't go:' he said again.
"Don't worry about my leaving. Just get better:'
"Okay" Gage agreed on a sigh, his voice sleepy again. Arcineh stayed close, but she knew the very moment he slept; the hand holding hers so tightly had gone completely limp.
Gage woke up early in the hosp
ital, his mind going over the events of the last few days. You are a saving God, Gage's heart prayed, still
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amazed that God had spared him. His head still pained him quite a bit, but he could tell he was going to be all right. Thank You, Father. Thank You for loving me so much and having a perfect plan.
All over this hospital, people are sick and even dying, and I know comfort because You are in control. Please save each heart in this place, Lord, Gage continued to pray, remembering the things Simon had been teaching. Help me to be a light in any way that glorifies You, Lord. Even in pain, help me to keep my mind fixed on You.
Gage prayed himself back to sleep, a peaceful sleep. When he woke again, the nurse was there with his breakfast. Gage thanked her, asked how she was, and remembered to pray for her as well, so deep was his gratitude that God had brought him to this place.
Luke and Erika brought Gage home. It had taken some doing. His car had to be retrieved, along with his bike, which was not in the best shape. Luke pulled the car into the driveway, parking alongside a brand new bike with a helmet hanging from the bars. They appeared to be the very image of his old bike and helmet, and Gage got out of the car as fast as his body would allow.
He looked in amazement at the new bike, knowing exactly who had done this but not sure how she had accomplished it. Without further ado, Gage turned for Sam's.
"Oh, no, you don't," Luke said, taking his brother-in-law by the arm and steering him back to his own front door. "The doctor said to take it very easy."
"I have to see Arcie."
"We'll get her over here. Just come in and rest'
But Luke wasn't able to make good on his word. He went next door to get Arcineh but was told she wasn't there. This news received, Gage was on his cell phone seconds later. He had to work very hard on his attitude when he got nothing but her voice mail for the next hour.
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Arcineh was on her way home when her phone rang. She almost didn't pick up, but the light changed and she found herself sitting. "Hello."
"Hello, yourself"
"Gage! Hi! Are they letting you out?"
"I'm home."