11:02 am, April 1, 2008
“Mom, I’m going to borrow your purple sparkly earrings, okay?” I call down the stairs. I wait with my head tilted, straining to hear a response, but none comes. “Mom?” I rock back on my heels, looking toward the open doorway of my parents’ room.
I bite my lower lip as I walk tentatively down the hall and step into the space. When I was younger, I would be punished for setting a foot in here since they kept so much of their work gear in haphazard piles around the periphery of the bedroom. I step gingerly around a pile of nets and tackle to reach the bureau, grabbing for the massive jewelry box. I run my fingers over the dusty surface and pick my way through the clumps of tangled necklaces until I find what I’m searching for. It’s another minute before I free the matching earring, and I’m closing the lid when it catches my eye.
“What’s that?” I ask myself, crouching down to investigate. Under the bed is a wooden box, and as I pull it out, the latch unclasps spilling the contents on the floor. I look around and hastily try to replace everything, but a partially melted picture captures my attention. I stare at the photo, unable to process what I’m looking at.
The image is faded but there is no question that it’s my parents, holding a smiling infant with shocking red hair. I shake my head in disbelief, pulling at my long, dark brown hair. Although the sun will bleach it in the summer, there isn’t even a hint of red in my locks. I am utterly transfixed. Who is this child?
“Lyn? Where are you?” Mom calls from downstairs. Her voice snaps me out of my stupor, and I pile the remaining papers and trinkets into the box, quickly shoving it back under the bed. I have just enough time to sweep up the discarded earrings from the floor and stand when Mom appears in the doorway.
“Hey Mom!” I say, trying to sound calm. Inside my heart is beating wildly. What have I just discovered?
“What are you doing in here?” she asks with a frown.
“I asked,” I reply holding out the jewelry for her inspection. I don’t trust myself to say anything else as I squeeze by her and retreat to my room. I close the door and go immediately to my cell.
“Come on. Pick up!”
“Lyn! Happy birthday!”
“Oh thank God! Joanie I have to tell you something,” I say pressing the phone to my ear.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just found something and I think…” I stare off into space trying to put it into words. My eyes fill as the words form in my mind.
“You think what? You sound panicked. What’s going on?”
“I think I have a sibling.” Silence greets me on the other end. “Or maybe I had a sibling. I found a picture of my parents holding a baby with red hair.” I wait for it, but there is still no response. “Hello? Joanie?”
She starts to giggle. “Oh Lyn, you had me going there! I thought you didn’t do April Fool’s jokes…”
“Joanie, I’m not…”
“Okay, you got me. Good one! I’ll be over in an hour.”
“But I can prove it to you…”
“Lyn, you got me already, so you can drop it now. See you soon.”
“But I’m not joking…”
The call disconnects before I finish the word. I throw the phone on the bed in frustration and debate my options. If Joan doesn’t believe me, no one will. I need to get evidence. I crack open my door and creep back to the now closed bedroom door. I’m about to knock, but then I hear Mom’s voice talking quietly from the living room. I can’t make out any specifics, but she’s using her ‘stressed out’ tone. I push open the door, glancing under the bed, but I don’t have to cross the room to know the box is gone.
3:10 pm, January 4, 2011
“Holy cow, we’ve been talking for over two hours!” I say, stretching.
“You know what they say… time flies…uh I’m knackered,” he replies stifling a yawn.
“This time zone thing is weird,” I say wrinkling my nose into the camera on my laptop. I watch with fascination as his laughter echoes around me just before I see his face morph into the corresponding expression. My heart beats faster in my chest and I wonder if he can see my blush.
“Well, I’ll be back in two days. I’d like to see you before school starts… I mean, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure, we can get a coffee or something. It will be nice to have a conversation face to face again.”
“You promise you won’t run away this time?”
I sigh and look down into my lap. Why does this have to be so complicated? “Ollie…” his name feels incredibly intimate as it rolls effortlessly from my tongue. I look up again to see his face filling the entire screen before me. “I promise.”
His smile breaks my heart. “Brilliant!”
I glance at the clock. “Hey! It’s eleven-eleven in London right? Make a wish.”
“I wish…”
“No! Not out loud!”
He smiles as he closes his eyes for a moment. Time seems to stop until my clock changes to three-twelve. “Done,” he says as he opens his eyes and looks directly at me. Suddenly I want to know what the wish is, but the way he is looking at me sort of says it all.
“So, you’re not going out tonight?”
“Naw, my mates left for Piccadilly earlier, but since Oregon I’ve been craving a bit of quiet. Besides, I’ve been looking forward to our chat all day.”
I roll my eyes, but my heart flip-flops again. How am I going to do this when he gets back? “We could have kept texting. I don’t want to keep you from your friends. You won’t see them for another six months right?”
“Oh I didn’t tell you! Henry and James are spending their spring holiday in Bandon. They’re very curious to meet you Eve.”
A thrill runs up and down my spine hearing his accented voice pronounce ‘Ee-vee’ for the first time. Although he started calling me that in the first email, hearing it out loud makes me question everything. I take a deep breath, about to ask what he’s been saying about me when Margery bursts through my bedroom door.
“Lyn! What have you been doing? I’ve been trying to reach you for… oh.” My body whips around, and the look on my face must be enough to convey how embarrassed I am at the interruption. “I’ll wait downstairs then,” she says, her eyes flitting from my face to the computer screen. As soon as the door closes behind her, I swivel around to catch Oliver’s amused expression.
“Looks like I’m the one keeping you from your friends. I’ll call you when I’m back in the states, okay?” I nod, a mixture of longing, anticipation, and anxiety swirling in my gut. “I can’t wait to see you Evelyn Dae. Goodnight.”
Then his face abruptly disappears and my eyes constrict as the bright white Skype home page pops up. I stare at the empty screen for a moment longer, sighing as I close the computer. Downstairs I hear laughter erupt and realize Margery brought reinforcements. I steel myself for the onslaught of questions sure to barrage me. I see the dreamy look on Joan’s face, followed by Stacy’s wide eyed ‘I don’t believe it’ look just before Margery’s smug expression greets me from the living room couch. I square my shoulders and walk in with my head held high.
By the eve of my fifteenth birthday I felt things were changing all around me. Joan was getting tired of searching for clues from my past and finding nothing but dead ends. My parents were clearly hiding something from me, but were finally answering some of my questions with honest answers. I knew I was close to uncovering the full truth I was so desperate to find. Now I wonder if I would have been told eventually, or if ignorance is truly bliss…
4:15 pm, March 31, 2009
I skirt around the tidal pool, biting my lip. Joan is dipping her hand in the water to pet one of the many rose stars living in the shallows. The air is filled with salt and I take a deep breath, holding the scent inside me as long as I can. I close my eyes and images from my dreams inundate my mind. I release my inhalation and open my eyes
, but the impressions remain, clinging to my consciousness like a nagging child.
“Joanie? What’s your first memory?”
“Huh?” she replies wiping her hands on her jeans and meandering around the side of the pool to join me. “Do you have a new theory?”
“No, not really, but…”
“What is it?” she says touching my bare arm. Her fingers are still soggy and freezing cold from the frigid ocean water. My skin immediately breaks into gooseflesh and tingles where her hand rests. She notices and retracts from me mumbling an apology.
“Just think of the earliest thing you can recall.”
“Okay.” She closes her eyes and a moment later is smiling. “Got it. I’m not sure if it’s my first memory, but I was little.”
“How old were you?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Three maybe? I’m in a hallway that leads to a massive set of stairs. Everything is oversized and I can barely reach the banister. So I make my way up the steps, half climbing, and half crawling until finally I reach the top. Directly in front of me is a door painted green. I open it and I’m in this perfect play area. My pink blankie is sitting on top of a tiny bed with my favorite Disney pillow at the head.”
“Are you sure this is a memory and not a dream? It sounds like a dream.”
“Just hold on Lyn and let me finish! So, I remember sitting on the bed and curling up with Mr. Squiggles.”
“That old teddy bear missing an eye?”
“Yeah, only he’s not missing his eye yet.”
“So how do you know it’s real?”
“I asked my Mom about it and she had a picture of my favorite napping place when I was little. We lived in the house on Ocean Drive then.”
“I didn’t know you lived on Ocean Drive.”
“We moved when I was four, but that’s not the point. In the picture, the door is this little four-foot thing that opens to a converted storage space. The ‘bed’ was actually a cot. It was the only place I was willing to nap. In my memory it was huge, but that’s because I was so little.”
“Interesting.”
“What’s this all about Lyn?”
“Well, I don’t have any memories before living here. When I try to conjure up anything earlier, it’s blank. Almost like it was erased.”
“I think you’re paranoid. There has to be a logical explanation.”
“That’s exactly what I think too. I have an idea, but…”
“What?”
“You’re going to think I’m being dramatic.”
“Spit it out already!”
“Fine… when I was five I nearly drowned.” Joan’s eyes grow as she gasps. “I think that maybe I can’t remember anything because I’m blocking it out. Mom and Dad confessed this little beauty after the last round of questions. I thought Mom was going to pass out and even Dad was flustered.”
“Of course they were upset. After what you found out about…”
“Yeah I know. Crazy huh? So that’s it. I’m dreaming about drowning and I’m no closer to answers than I was a year ago.” I hang my head, suddenly close to tears. Joan sighs and throws her arms around me. We cling to each other and all I taste is salt, but I can’t tell if it’s from my tears, or the moist ocean air swirling around us.