walk out of this house and get struck by lightning, or both of us could live until we're ninety. Tomorrow we could die or we could come back here. We don't know." Sliding his hands up to my cheeks, he lowered his forehead to mine. "But we're both here right now and that's all that matters. The right now."
"The right now?" My heart raced.
"Yeah. Right now. We're both here. That's all that matters, and I can't promise that I'm not going anywhere, but I'm going to try damn hard not to. That is one thing I'm going to tell you to trust."
A hailstorm of emotion rose up in me, like the thickest barricade finally cracking open. My face crumpled, and I couldn't stop it, didn't even try. Tears streamed down my face, and Ren made this raw sound that came from deep within him as he gathered me against his chest, tucking my head under his as he held me tight, whispering words I didn't understand but were soothing nonetheless.
I didn't know what did it—Ren saying he wasn't going anywhere or the fact that he couldn't promise that he wouldn't. He hadn't even tried, but he was here, and maybe that was what set me off.
Burrowing my face against his damp chest, I let it out. Like a plug being pulled on an overflowing tub, it was slow and choking at first, as if it would never end, then it was gone fast with a trickle of tears and a stuttered breath.
Time had passed and when I finally lifted my head, he smiled at me, one dimple appearing. He swept his thumbs over my cheeks, erasing what was left of the tears. "You're even pretty when you cry," he said.
A laugh escaped me, throaty and flimsy. "Now you're definitely lying. That was ugly crying."
"Nothing about you is ugly."
There was a lot of ugliness in me and I think he knew that, deep down, because he carried the same, but I appreciated the kindness he doled out like candy on Halloween. On the spur of the moment, I stretched up and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, a benediction and a thank you, nothing more than a brush of my lips against his, but there was a spark between us that lit up every cell in my body, and I knew he was just as affected. A slight tremor coursed through the hands that held my cheeks. I lowered myself onto the soles of my feet and stared into his eyes as a different kind of storm sieged me.
The heat flushing through my body told me that I wanted him. Badly. My mood whiplashed me, but there was nothing I needed more than him. Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with what David had said earlier about us finding someone to spend the evening with in case we didn't survive the following night. Yeah, what I was feeling . . . it had been there before David's less than motivational speech, under my skin, building around my heart. Wetting my lips, I trailed my hands down to his hard chest, and he must've read what I wanted in my eyes.
"Ivy," he all but groaned.
I repeated his words from earlier. "Don't let me go."
His eyes flared as he stared at me intently. "Never."
Chapter Twenty
Ren didn't let me go. Oh no, he did the exact opposite. Gripping my hips, he lifted me clean off the floor, and instinct drove me to wrap my legs around his lean hips. One of his strong, grounding hands cupped the back of my neck, guiding my lips to his. There was an artless, questioning quality to the kiss at first, gentle and sweet before it changed, becoming needy and demanding. I felt the sweep of his tongue all through my body.
His hands roamed to my bottom, rocking me against his hips, pressing his arousal against mine. I moaned into his mouth, and in the back of my head, I really hoped Tink didn't wander out to investigate what was going on in here. But then Ren started walking, all the while laying claim to my mouth and so much more than that.
"Bed. Now," he growled.
I clutched his shoulders. "Agreed."
Ren's mouth moved over mine once more as he carried me to my bedroom. I reached out blindly behind me, finding the doorknob and wrenching it open. Once inside, I tore my mouth free. "Let me shut the door."
He raised an eyebrow, but closed the door with his booted foot instead of turning me so I could. Then he walked over to my bed and dropped me. I landed with a bounce and a giggle.
He kicked off his shoes and socks and was on me before I could take my next breath. My shirt came off in a heartbeat, and then my bra. His hands were everywhere, roaming up my stomach, caressing the hard and aching peaks of my breasts, and then back down, to the button and zipper on my jeans.
Ren had superpowers when it came to stripping my clothes off. Somehow, within mere seconds, he had my jeans off and his hand was under the band of my panties. I moaned and raised my hips as he slipped a finger inside me. I was already so hot and so ready that when he started to pump his finger in and out, I almost toppled right over the edge, but I wanted more. I wanted to feel him inside me.
Reaching between us, I rubbed his hard length through his jeans, and his answering groan turned me on even more. I caught the buckle of his belt and tugged it free. I tackled the zipper, but it took longer than it should have. Ren was thoroughly distracting with his hand between my thighs and the trail of kisses he blazed down my chest to my breasts.
"God," I cried out as he caught my nipple between his teeth playfully.
He chuckled as his liquid gaze met mine, searing me. "You like that?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do."
He nipped at my other breast. "Never thought you'd be the praying type."
"Never thought you'd be a tease." I pulled on his jeans. "I want you."
"You have me," was his immediate response.
My breath caught as my chest swelled. "Prove it."
Ren let out a ragged breath then lowered his mouth to mine, kissing me with a hunger I had little experience with, the kind of kiss that erased all those that came before and ensured that nothing in the future could ever live up to it.
Wow. He was definitely proving it.
Finally, I got his jeans down his hips. He helped me out then, withdrawing his hand from my wetness. As he stood over me, he took off his pants and the tight, black boxer briefs. Completely naked, he was awe-inspiring. There wasn't a drop of fat on his bones, but his skin was far from flawless. Like mine, there were tiny scars all over his body, nicks from training sessions gone awry and battle wounds that never faded.
"You're beautiful," I said, meaning it. His smile turned crooked and his cheeks flushed. "You're blushing, Renald."
"Oh, you call me that again, and I will turn you over my knee and spank you," he warned, and when I bit down on my lip, he narrowed his eyes. "I think you'd like that," he said.
I might, but I wasn't thinking of that when he circled his hand around the base of his length. Mouth dry and the area between my thighs pulsing, I watched him stroke himself from base to tip. I clenched my thighs together, squirming on the bed. I'd never watched a guy do this before, and there was something entirely arousing about it. My skin flushed, and I dragged in shallow breath after shallow breath.
"Take your panties off," he ordered.
Normally taking orders from a guy was the least attractive thing ever, but coming from him, in this moment, if I could wrinkle my nose and make my underwear disappear, I would. Leaning back, I lifted my hips and slipped the thin material down my waist and then my thighs, the scrap of lace landing on the floor.
His gaze slid over me in a slow perusal that set my skin aflame. "Let me see."
Primal instinct told me what he wanted, and the flush deepened as I obeyed once more, spreading my legs. His gaze dipped and his hand swept over his length again.
"Now that is beautiful."
The air was so laden with sexual tension that I thought I might combust, and I'd be very frustrated if that happened before he got down on this bed with me, but I didn't have to wait long.
He placed one knee on the bed, on the outside of my thigh, still gripping himself as he cupped me between the thighs. "Please tell me you have a condom," he said as he slipped a finger inside me.
I gasped, back arching. "No. I don't have any. Haven't needed them."
"Fuck." He slowly added ano
ther finger.
"You don't have any with you?"
"I didn't come over here, expecting this to happen. That would make me a douche." He flashed me a grin. "We don't—"
"I'm on the pill," I said quickly. "Have been since I was seventeen. I take it every day."
His green eyes pinned me with a molten stare. "I'm clean."
I believed him, and truthfully, after what I'd done this morning, it was a little late to be worried about that, but I really did believe him. I trusted him. "Please?"
"God." He closed his eyes briefly. "Ivy, you don't have to beg me. I'm already there."
My stomach hollowed as he let go of himself and placed that naughty hand beside my head and lowered himself between my legs. Staring up at him, he was a study of proud perfection. He returned to me, sucking and nipping, exploring every inch of my body as if he sought to memorize it with his mouth.
And I was totally down for that.
I arched against him, aching and throbbing as he mastered absolute control over my body. Powerful desire consumed me, and as he brought his mouth back to mine, I felt him glide through the wetness.
Ren lifted himself up, staring down at me in a wild, intoxicating way that mirrored everything I felt inside. Shifting his weight onto one arm, he moved his hips forward.
I gasped, digging my nails into his arm.
"You okay?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.
I nodded. "I'm okay. It's just that I haven't . . ."
"I know." He kissed me softly. "I know, Ivy."
I held on to him as he inched his way inside, taking his time even though his body shook, being so incredibly gentle. Tears pricked my eyes, and I blinked them back. This was like my first time . . . basically because it was only my second time, but this—this was beautiful because it was my first time with Ren.
The exquisite feeling of him stretching me and doing so in such a careful way consumed me, and then he was in, all the way, and the pressure made my body come alive.
Ren was still inside me, his eyes glowing like emerald jewels as he slid his thumb along my lower lip. I moved, tilting my hips up, and we both groaned.
"That's it," he rasped. "God, you're so tight, so fucking perfect."
Hearing that was wildly erotic, and maybe later I'd be embarrassed, but right now all I wanted was to feel more—feel everything. He let me set the pace at first, letting me move under him as I kissed his cheeks, his throat, and followed the leather strand of his necklace, kissing the encased clover before I moved on to each of those poppies.
"You're driving me crazy," he growled against my temple. "I have to take this deeper, harder."
And Ren did.
His restraint broke and he began to thrust deeper, harder, just as he promised. I'd never felt so full, so out of control as his hips pistoned. Each plunge drove up the intensity until it became a feverish pace, and the only sounds in the room were our breathing and the music of our flesh meeting. Wrapping my legs around him, I took him to the hilt and nearly broke the hold. My head spun with bliss, and this—oh God, this was more than just two people coming together and getting off. No question about it. He moved faster, grinding his hips against mine as he wrapped one hand around my chin, bringing my mouth to his a second before the tension was unleashed.
Ren's lips smothered the cry he elicited from deep inside me. The release was an incredible moment, as shattering as it was healing. Spasms rocked my body as I shuddered around him, thrown so high from the tight waves of pleasure rolling over me.
He cradled my hips as he lifted up onto his knees, powering into me, heightening the rioting sensations. For a moment, all I could do was watch the muscles of his stomach ripple and flex, his chest tense as he took me, then I kicked my head back. I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood. It was too much, like being pitched into heaven, and there was no escape. He thrust once more then twice, and then snaked an arm around me, sealing our bodies together as he came, his large body shuddering around me, in me.
My arms fell to my sides, limp and useless.
For long moments, he didn't move. His head was buried in the crook of my neck, and I could feel his heart pounding against my arm. A fine sheen of sweat covered both of us, and I didn't care. Lifting his head, he nipped at my shoulder, chuckling when I whimpered.
"You okay?" He kissed my chin, then my cheek.
"Perfect."
He kissed my temple and then the space just below my eyebrow. "That was amazing. Honestly. Like honest to god, honestly."
A slow, sated grin pulled at my lips. "It was. You . . . you really are wicked."
His gaze slid to mine. "You have no idea." Carefully easing himself out, he frowned when I winced. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes." I forced my arm to move and patted his cheek. "Come on, I'm like a born again virgin. It's quite possible my hymen grew back, but I'm fine."
Ren tipped his head back and laughed. "I don't know about that, but I do know I might've tasted heaven there for a moment."
I laughed again.
"Look at you. Your cheeks are flushed all pretty like." Rolling onto his side, he gathered me close to him. "You're fucking adorable."
"Shut up."
"You're as adorable as a—"
"If you say a Disney character, I will kick you out of this bed."
Throwing a leg over mine, he buried his head under my chin, kissing my neck. "I'm not going anywhere. You're going to have to pry me from between those even more pretty thighs."
"Oh my God."
"True story."
We lay there in each other's arms for what felt like forever, talking about nothing important. There were no thoughts of the past or the future, and for the first time in a very long time, I was right there in the moment, and I didn't want to be anyplace else.
~
Ren woke me Wednesday morning much like he had the morning before, his mouth hot and insistent on my breast, his fingers dancing between my legs. I came fully awake in a sensual haze, threading my fingers through his hair. He knew exactly how to touch me, to bring me to the edge of control, as if he'd been doing it for years.
I guided his mouth to mine. "Goodness, you're a morning person, aren't you?"
Using his knee, he pushed my legs apart, and I felt him easing into me. "Only when I have a gorgeous girl tangled up with me when I wake up."
My back arched as he thrust all the way in. "Any girl?"
"Nah, not any girl." He put his forearms by my head and shifted his weight onto them as he rocked his hips slowly. "Just you."
"That's sweet of you to say." I slid my hands down his strong biceps, curling my fingers around them.
His lips brushed mine. "It's the truth and I'm going to prove it."
And he did with every stroke of his hips and every kiss, his large body covering mine as he rocked into me. There were no words in the early morning hours, and the world didn't exist outside of that bed. My moans and those deep, sexy sounds of his filled the space between us. My heart was thundering, a flutter spreading its wings in my chest and stomach. When I came, I pressed my mouth to his chest, muffling my scream as an explosive and consuming release took me.
Lightning zipped through my veins as Ren pulled out of me. Gathering me in his arms, he sat up and hauled me into his lap. My knees dragged along the comforter as he lifted his hips, impaling me once more. This position was something new, and it seemed to extend my release, setting off quakes deep inside of me as he moved my hips over his. His embrace was tight, and when he came, he sealed us together, hands pressed against my back and my cheek on his shoulder.
Neither of us moved for a while. We were spent and breathless, and I didn't want the next minute or hour to come. I wanted to stay here, like this with him, as long as I could.
But then my stomach grumbled.
Ren chuckled as I ducked my head. "Someone's hungry." Cupping my cheek, he tipped my head up. "You know what?" He kissed the tip of my nose.