“Your soul.”
“And Carly’s. Give them back to me.”
He looked down at the food court, his jaw tight. “Look at all of them. It’s hard to believe they have no idea what’s happening in Trinity right now. Right in front of their eyes. Humans.” He said it with barely contained disgust.
He was trying to change the subject. I had to stay calm and not make any huge demands. He had all the power here, but I didn’t want him to know that. “You’re human.”
“I was.”
“Now you think you’re more than that?”
He didn’t answer my question. His gaze flicked to me. “You were already more than human before this.”
I tried not to grimace. He knew I was a nexus, thanks to Natalie. My little secret that nobody was supposed to know. “Other than the hunger, I don’t feel any different than before.”
Stephen studied my face, as if searching for some clue there. “You will.”
I still gripped the railing as if it was the only thing keeping me from tumbling over. “No, I won’t.”
He shook his head. “Things are changing...ever since Natalie’s been gone.”
“Is this another recruitment speech or a warning?”
He snorted a little, and I could have sworn he looked a bit nauseous.
I frowned. “Are you all right?”
That earned me another dry laugh. “Do you really care about my well-being, Samantha?”
My hands were sweating as I forced myself to stay calm and not start shrieking demands. “You wanted to talk to me. So talk. What’s changing?”
He kept his eyes forward, not looking directly at me. “It wasn’t like this when Natalie was still around.”
“What?”
“It starts with the cold. Like...worse than normal. Worse than the cold we feel from not having a soul. And the hunger...” His expression tightened. “You can’t ignore it even if you try. It’s there...a constant need that doesn’t leave for a second, driving you to feed from someone...anyone. And it doesn’t get satisfied when you give in to it...it—it just gets worse.”
I think I stopped breathing. This wasn’t what I’d expected him to say—not at all. “What are you talking about?”
He swallowed, and when his gaze met mine I swear I saw fear there. “Stasis.”
I shook my head. “What’s stasis?”
When he wrenched his gaze from the food court to look at me again, there was something in his eyes that scared me. Something bleak and defeated.
Stephen was afraid.
This realization chilled me right down to my bones.
“Feeding—kissing someone—it makes you feel better for a little while. But...it doesn’t stop what’s going to happen. We’re changing, Samantha. You will, too. We lose our minds, our control. Everything.”
I started to tremble. He was talking about the zombie grays. “But—but that’s what happens to the grays that feed too much. Natalie warned us to control ourselves or we’ll end up like that. But if we don’t feed, it won’t happen. Right?”
“It’s different now. She didn’t know. We go into that state and...then we come back out again. That mindlessness, it’s only the beginning.” He didn’t say it like it was a good thing.
I stared at him, trying to understand, but then with a sickening feeling it all clicked into place for me. “Oh, God. The gray from last night...”
“What?”
“He was different.” My words were barely audible. I tensed up as more people closely brushed past us. “He—he was stronger, more powerful, and...and evil. Like, he had no...” I gritted my teeth before I managed to continue. “Like he had no soul.”
Stephen didn’t mock me and tell me this was a stupid thing to say—that of course a gray had no soul. Instead, his expression only grew more grave. “That’s right. Any morals, any compassion we have left—after stasis, it’s gone. Stripped. Soulless, completely and totally.”
I took this in and worked the disturbing information over in my head. “I thought you were already like that.”
He let out a humorless snort. “I’ve changed from how I was before, but not completely. Not like what I’ve seen in the past few days.”
I clasped my hands tightly to keep them from shaking. “So this guy—he was one of the zombies, and then he...then he came back from that?”
He nodded.
I couldn’t speak for a full minute, just staring at him. “Why are you telling me this? Why did you want to meet me here?”
He looked at me steadily. “Because it’s my fault you’re like this. I wanted to warn you.”
There was a big part of Stephen that had been changed forever by becoming a gray, one that could be manipulated by Natalie to do bad things on her behalf—but he wasn’t completely changed yet. There was still some part of him that remained the same Stephen that I’d had a crush on.
He was afraid of what was to come. For himself...and for me.
I fought to find the words to speak. “How long before it happens?”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “All I know is—it’s coming, Samantha. And I don’t know how it’ll go for me.”
My stomach clenched. “What do you mean?”
“Stasis either evolves you into something dark, something evil—worse than anything I ever could have imagined.” He hesitated. “Or...it kills you.”
Chapter 9
Stephen didn’t start laughing and tell me he was just messing with me. He was totally serious. This horrible situation didn’t have a happy ending, a slow fading of the hunger like my aunt had suggested, and a return to normal life.
It had a death sentence.
I grabbed hold of his sleeve as my numbness over his deadly proclamation faded and panic set in like somebody lighting up a firecracker inside me. “You need to give me back my soul...and Carly’s, too. Please, Stephen, before it’s too late.”
His expression turned stony. “You mean before I change. Or die.”
I dug my fingers into his arm as he began to pull away from me. “Stephen—”
“Oh. My. God. You have got to be kidding me right now, right?”
My stomach sank at the sound of the familiar voice behind me. I didn’t have to turn around. I knew who it was.
If I had a nemesis, Jordan Fitzpatrick was it. She was a drop-dead gorgeous redhead, and an aspiring model. We went to the same school.
She hated me. And the feeling was completely mutual. I didn’t like coming face-to-face with her in public places since she never held back on her opinion, especially when it came to me. Sometimes I could take it and throw it right back at her. But other times words could hurt me, even if they weren’t sticks and stones.
Did I mention that Stephen was her ex, and he’d broken her heart?
While still reeling from the horrific news Stephen had shared with me, I turned slowly to see Jordan standing there with her best friend and trusty blond sidekick, Julie Travis. Julie was another one who wasn’t thrilled by my continuing existence—and vice versa. Julie was the reason that Colin and Carly had broken up over the summer. She’d slept with him while he’d been drunk at a party.
It wasn’t all Julie’s fault, of course. Colin was at least fifty percent to blame. But still. If anyone hurts my friends and has zero remorse about it, then that’s a nice shortcut to getting on my hate list.
Julie shot daggers at me through her eyeballs for standing here in t
he middle of the mall talking to Stephen Keyes. She still considered him Jordan’s property. Jordan, however, didn’t even glance at me. Her attention was fully fixed on Stephen.
“You,” Jordan began shakily, as if grappling for the right words. “I—I didn’t even know you were back from university.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. He appeared to be stunned, his face pale. “I am.”
“You haven’t replied to any of my texts.”
He averted his gaze, instead choosing to look at the crystal birds above us. “I thought we dealt with this, Jordan. It’s over between us.”
“Oh, you made that clear in your email, don’t worry.”
I already knew he’d dumped her via email. That was cold.
Jordan swallowed hard. “I guess I don’t feel like I should be blamed for wanting to know the reason why.” Finally, I received a withering look of death. “Or maybe I do know.”
Here we go.
Stephen flicked a glance at me before returning his attention to her. “It’s not what you think.”
“Isn’t that what they always say in the movies? Pathetic. No, I think it’s exactly what I think. You’re interested in Samantha, the town klepto.”
I winced at that. But at least she didn’t call me a slut this time.
When Stephen kissed me at Crave, people saw it. But they hadn’t seen a monster devouring a victim’s soul. They thought they’d just witnessed a hot kiss.
News got back to Jordan through the grapevine while she was still dealing with the heartbreak of being dumped in such a cold, impersonal way. I couldn’t totally blame her for being angry. I would have been hurt, too, if the guy I really liked was seen kissing somebody I disliked so much.
Still, Jordan’s high school drama didn’t trump my life-and-death struggle. I needed time with Stephen to convince him to give me my soul back before it was too late.
“We’re just talking,” I told her as calmly as I could.
Sounded so harmless: just talking.
Only it was a subject that had the potential to destroy not only mine and Stephen’s, but the lives of every single person in Trinity if we didn’t find a solution.
“I don’t really care what you do.” Jordan said in that way that made it clear that she did care very much what Stephen did and with whom. “Damn it.”
Her eyes became glossy and she angrily wiped at them.
Tears of pain, no matter who they were from, had a way of working their way under my skin and directly to my heart. She wasn’t just being a bitch. She was genuinely hurt over this.
Something flashed across Stephen’s face just before he turned away from her.
Anguish.
Stephen hated hurting Jordan like this. I’d had a hunch that he’d broken up with her at the same time he’d been turned into a gray by Natalie, and it wasn’t because he’d been romantically interested in my aunt.
No. It was because he loved Jordan and he didn’t want to hurt her.
Damn. I didn’t want to feel bad for two people I hated. But I did, anyway.
“I can’t be here right now.” Stephen turned away.
Jordan grabbed his arm. “You’re running away? Just like that? So typical.”
He yanked his arm away from her. His breathing had quickly become more labored. She’d entered his orbit of hunger. I was very familiar with how out of control he was feeling right now.
An impossible-to-ignore need for him to kiss her; heart pounding, hunger rising, but knowing the kiss would hurt her.
Torture was definitely the right word.
Stephen spun around and their eyes met. This time he caught her in his arms and pressed her back against the railing.
“I told you to stay away from me, Jordan.” But he said it in that sexy, come-hither kind of way, which would make a lot of girls just want to get that much closer.
“I wanted to.” A tear actually slipped down her cheek, and she angrily swiped it away.
“Jordan, come on,” Julie urged. “We should go.”
But instead, Stephen took hold of Jordan’s upper arms and pulled her to him. His focus had narrowed to her lips. He was going to kiss her. And she was going to let him.
It was like watching a scary soap opera.
I couldn’t let this happen. I grabbed Stephen’s arm and dug my fingers in hard. “Don’t even think about it.”
Clarity came across his clouded expression and his brows drew together. He staggered back from the both of us, swearing under his breath.
“I mean it, Jordan. Stay the hell away from me,” he growled.
She inhaled sharply, disappointment skittering across her flushed face. “I hate you!”
“Good. That helps.” Finally, he turned and began walking rapidly away.
“Wait, Stephen!” I started to run after him.
Julie stepped into my path to block me. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Get out of my way.” I shoved her out of the way and scanned the immediate area to locate Stephen, but I couldn’t see him anywhere.
He was gone.
My one shot to talk to him, to explain why he needed to help me. And now he’d disappeared into the crowd in five seconds flat.
“Damn it!” I had more questions than I had to begin with. And absolutely no answers. How was I supposed to find him now?
“You need to stay away from Stephen,” Julie warned me.
I glared at her. “And you need to mind your own business.”
Jordan let out a shaky sigh and rubbed her eyes, succeeding in smearing her mascara. “I’m going to forget him. This time for good. He doesn’t deserve me.”
“You’re right,” Julie agreed. “He doesn’t.”
I kept frantically searching the crowd of faces, but his was nowhere to be seen.
“I hate you and Stephen,” Jordan snapped at me. “I wish I’d never met either of you.”
I tore my gaze from the crowd to meet her furious expression with one of my own. The pain was still raw enough in her eyes to deflate my anger just a little. “You might not believe this, but sometimes when things seem horrible, they’re actually a good thing. Trust me, Stephen isn’t—”
Snap!
Suddenly, I wasn’t in the mall anymore; I was at the church. And I was looking at Cassandra and Kraven, both lit from the bright light entering through the beautiful stained-glass windows.
I saw them through Bishop’s eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” he growled.
“She kissed you?” Cassandra gave him a look of sheer disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me this last night?”
“It’s not important.” Bishop sent a quick glance at Kraven, who gave him a smug look in return, his arms crossed over his chest. “Got something to say? Or have you said enough for one day?”
“Sorry, had to be honest with Blondie here.” The demon glanced at Cassandra. “I know it takes a lot of my little brother’s energy to stay away from gray-girl, especially when he gets crazy.”
“She’s dangerous to you now,” Cassandra said with concern. “If she was to drain your soul completely...a fallen angel or exiled demon can’t exist without a soul in the human world. You would die.”
Bishop didn’t flinch at this confirmation. “I have it under control.”
“I’m surprised that you got to know her well enough to learn of her supernatural gifts. As a gray, I would have
thought you wouldn’t have hesitated to kill her. Your reputation as one who does his job to the letter precedes you.”
“Bishop didn’t sense her grayness right away. All he sensed were those big, brown eyes of hers. And she might be short, but she’s got a killer set of legs.” At whatever dark look Bishop shot him, Kraven shrugged. “What? It’s the truth. Funny, though. Always thought you liked blondes better than brunettes. Or...wait. Maybe that was me. I forget.”
“I sensed there was something between you,” Cassandra said, “but I wasn’t sure what it was.”
Bishop didn’t reply for a moment. “I’m affected by her.”
“Duh,” Kraven said. “The fallen angel falls hard for one of the monsters he’s supposed to put a dagger into. It’s textbook, really.”
“It’s not that. It’s my soul—because of what she is, it binds us. And the kiss only made it worse. This is—it’s nothing more than a simple inconvenient addiction.”
Even though I was only observing this, his words felt like someone had reached into my chest to tear out my heart.
An inconvenient addiction.
Was that really all this was?
“Inconvenient, definitely, but there’s nothing simple about this.” Cassandra came forward to touch his shoulder gently. She gazed up into his face. “I can help you. I want to help you.”
He didn’t pull away from her as she rubbed his arm. “I can handle it. You don’t have to be concerned.”
“Us, concerned?” Kraven’s lips quirked. “Personally, I’m all for you two hooking up again. I’d like to see what happens when the rest of that soul’s sucked out of your mouth. Oh, and you should probably keep in mind that some other places she might want to put those pretty little lips of hers might be a problem, too.”
Bishop’s glare shot to the demon. “Shut your mouth.”
“I should be telling you the same thing.”
“Be quiet, both of you,” Cassandra snapped, clearly frustrated. “Honestly, how do you get any work done while squabbling so—”