“You hate me,” I reminded him. “I hurt you.”
“What happened to Julie made me realize something—life is too short. I can’t hold a grudge. I know you don’t like me, not like I like you. But we’re friends, still, right? You’re my friend no matter what happens.”
“You followed me from class. You always do that.”
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” His breathing had increased. He’d taken hold of my arm again. Despite his words of understanding, there was something in his gaze...something lost.
I knew what it was. A gray’s victim sought the gray who’d kissed him. It was an unavoidable trap. Even my harshest, coldest words wouldn’t be enough to keep him away from me forever.
I looked down at where he clutched my arm. “When will you ever learn, Colin?”
“I know you don’t mean to hurt me. Just like with Julie—I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
His scent was too much to bear. I couldn’t deal with this. I needed to go.
“Colin...”
He took hold of my other arm. “Just give me a chance, Sam. One chance. I think I’ll go crazy if you never kiss me again. Please. Just once. One kiss.”
“Fine,” I whispered.
Then I pushed him up against the lockers and crushed my mouth against his.
Chapter 19
I’d lost the fight a minute ago, but hadn’t realized it till now.
No, that was wrong. What was I saying? I felt it. I knew this was coming from the moment he followed me out of class.
He asked for this. He wanted it. Even now he groaned against my lips as I began to feed on his soul.
As I kissed Colin, all I thought of was Bishop. It was his kiss I craved more than anyone else’s. The only one I dreamed about, fantasized about, wished for, hoped for. Bishop’s mouth against mine—after he whispered that he loved me, despite our problems, despite everything that threatened to keep us apart.
He was an angel of death and had been for a long time. He only looked eighteen, but he’d existed for much longer than that. How could I ever think I could be something more to him than a problem to solve, or an inconvenient addiction?
I didn’t think. I’d hoped.
And I’d lied shamelessly last night. I didn’t want to stay away from him. No matter what—
Snap!
The entire team was gathered in the church.
“It’s a problem,” Connor said. “I’ve been looking into it and I’m sure this is it. All the recent suicides—they’re connected. There’s a demon loose in the city, one who escaped the Hollow. Like the Source of the grays fed on souls, this demon feeds on hope and happiness and the will to live. It drives these kids to kill themselves.”
“You’re sure about this?” Cassie asked, her beautiful face tense as she listened to Connor’s speech.
He shook his head. “Hell, no. I’m not sure about anything anymore.” Connor usually had a quip or a joke for anything, but today he looked pained. Concerned. “But I think I’m right. The suicide rate in Trinity has skyrocketed over the past week. This demon is getting hungrier and it needs more and more to sustain it.”
“Then we need to find it.” Bishop rubbed his forehead. “Damn. My head—it’s killing me.”
“You okay?” Cassandra asked.
“Trying my best.”
“Who cares?” Kraven mumbled. He leaned against a nearby pew next to Roth, his arms crossed over his chest.
“You’re working too hard,” Cassandra said, ignoring the demon. “Did you get any sleep after staying out all night looking for that gray?”
“I got enough.”
“I doubt that. Not if you’re feeling this way. I know you’re having trouble concentrating.” Her expression hardened. “And would you stop doing this?” She pressed her hand against his torso. He flinched.
“It’s none of your business what I do.”
“It is my business. Show me. All the way this time.”
He looked at her for a moment without making any moves. Then he peeled his shirt off completely over his head.
“Where are my five dollar bills when I need them?” Kraven said drily. “Just do me a favor and leave the pants on, okay?”
Roth said nothing, but gave Bishop a dark look. Something in the demon’s eyes went beyond regular distaste.
Bishop looked down at himself and the deep cut bisecting his abdomen. “It’s the only way I can keep my mind clear.”
“You could get Samantha to help you,” Cassandra said, her brows drawn together.
Bishop shook his head. “She made it clear. She doesn’t want to see me again. And it’s for the best.”
Snap!
I hadn’t stopped kissing Colin, but the jarring mind meld had managed to give me back a fraction of my normal clarity. I tasted his soul as I devoured it, saw it in my mind—a ghostly shimmering ribbon—little by little, leaving him and entering me. Feeding me. I’d nearly taken all of it when I managed to push back against him and break off the kiss.
He slid to the ground. I hadn’t taken it all. Not all.
But I’d taken most of it.
I stared down at him with horror. Black lines branched around his mouth and he looked dazed and pale. He made a sickly wheezing sound as he gathered his breath. Immediately, I wanted to go back for more and it was by sheer will alone that I stopped myself.
The lines faded and he pushed at the floor, trying but failing to stand. “What happened?” He looked up at me. “Sam, why do you look so upset?”
“Are you okay?” I choked out, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“I think so. A little dizzy, but otherwise...”
“I’m sorry.”
“For kissing me?” A small smile appeared on his lips. “No reason to apologize for that. It was amazing.”
I just shook my head, wiping at my tears. He seemed okay, now after two kisses. Did a soul grow back or could someone survive indefinitely with less than a whole soul inside them? “I need to go.”
“Where are you going?”
“Away. Now.”
“I’ll come with you.” He looked so lost, so alone—like he had nobody. My heart wrenched, but it didn’t change anything. I needed to put distance between us, for his own good.
“No, just...no, Colin.” I ran away from him straight to my locker where I dropped off my books and grabbed my coat. I left right after that, bursting out into the morning air. I was going to miss the rest of my classes. At that moment, I didn’t care.
I’d lost it. And the worst thing this time—or competing for worst thing—was that my hunger hadn’t been sated even a bit. I wanted more. Something was changing inside me, making this even worse than it had been before. Before I could control myself, unless I was in extreme conditions. But now...my control was slipping away at breakneck speeds.
If it hadn’t been for that mind meld, I would have taken it all. And that would have either changed Colin into another gray...or it would have killed him.
I ran away from the school for a half mile before I finally stopped, bracing my hands on my thighs, and took deep choking breaths of cold air.
I’d told Bishop to leave me alone. Nobody had been watching me, lurking in the shadows. Nobody was here to stop me. They were all at the church, dealing with other problems.
I’d never felt so alone in my entire life.
But I
couldn’t go home, which was exactly where I wanted to go.
After what I’d heard in that mind meld, I knew I had to go downtown. I had to find Jordan. She’d left school to find the model scout who’d touched Julie, inspecting her as a potential model. After that, Julie’s mood had plummeted. Jordan thought that the woman had something to do with that—that her touch had messed up Julie’s mind and driven her to kill herself.
Eva might be an anomalous demon who’d escaped from the Hollow—just as Natalie had. Instead of souls, she fed on good emotions, leaving only the bad ones behind. All the suicides in the last week could be because of her.
And Jordan was going to confront her.
I had to do something. I couldn’t stand back and let her get hurt.
I checked the phone book to find Divine Model Management. Then I hopped on a bus to get downtown as fast as possible. I entered the building, scanning the area for any sign of Jordan, but she wasn’t there.
The agency’s office was on the fifth floor. I considered leaving, going to the church and trying to find Bishop to tell him, despite my harsh words—and his—last night. This wasn’t personal. This was business. And I knew he could do something about it. Beyond that, I missed him more than I thought possible. Seeing through his eyes in the mind meld only made that fact impossible for me to ignore.
However, Jordan didn’t have that kind of time. I had to do this on my own.
I took the elevator up to the fifth floor. The agency was large, with dark hardwood floors, lots of glass and silver. The logo was on the wall in large, shiny letters.
“Yes?” The receptionist greeted me from behind the tall, red desk.
“I’m looking for...” I scanned the waiting room, but nobody was here except for me. “Eva?”
“What’s your business with her?”
I scanned my mind for a lie good enough to get me past this gatekeeper. “She gave me her card at the mall, told me to stop by.”
The receptionist’s gaze moved over me skeptically. I did my best not to look guilty or like I was a big liar.
“For our petite division?” she asked.
I could pretend to be an aspiring model. Sure, I could. “Um, yeah.”
She still didn’t look all that convinced. But she picked up the phone and pecked in a couple numbers. “Eva? There’s a...” She looked at me. “Name?”
“Samantha Day.”
“There’s a Samantha Day here to see you. Says you gave her your card?” There was a pause, and the receptionist looked at me. “She doesn’t remember you, but she says to go on in. Third office to your left.”
My mouth went dry. “Okay, thanks.”
I walked down the hall nervously. I had to remember that I wasn’t helpless here. I was a nexus, and if she was a demon then I could deal with her. I’d read her mind to get the truth. I could defend myself with my zapping ability. And the skirt made accessing my new knife a lot easier. I slid my hand over its reassuring shape.
I stopped at the door, which opened in front of me. The woman I’d seen at the mall gave me a once-over. She was definitely middle-aged, with auburn hair, paler highlights and, although I was no expert on the subject, she wore a designer suit that easily could have been featured in a Vogue spread.
“I didn’t give you a card,” she said. “I remember everyone.”
“Where’s Jordan?” I asked, my throat tight. I wasn’t playing this game any longer than I had to.
She frowned. “Jordan?”
“Jordan Fitzpatrick. Redhead. Way taller than me.” Although that might not help pinpoint someone in a place like this. “Was she here earlier?”
“Oh, right. Jordan.” She shook her head. “I was very sorry to hear what happened to her friend. Your friend, too, right? Such a shame.”
“Was Jordan here?” I asked again, firmer. I swept my gaze over her from head to foot. It was so hard to tell if she was a demon. I couldn’t exactly ask her to lift up her blouse so I could see her imprint. And she wasn’t making direct eye contact with me.
She patted her hair in its perfect chignon. “She stopped by earlier, but she’s gone. Wanted to ask me a couple questions. Seemed so upset. Poor kid. I tried to help, but I couldn’t do much, I’m afraid. Look, Samantha, I’m very busy. I’m about to head out to do a sweep for new talent. We’re looking for girls for a last-minute show at the Trinity Mall this weekend. It could be a onetime thing for you to try it out.”
“Modeling?” I eyed her warily.
She looked at me curiously. “Well, of course. This is a modeling agency.”
“I’m not a model.” Last time I checked, super short and lacking model looks seemed to be a big deterrent in that particular industry.
Her curious expression turned confused. “Then what are you doing here?”
“Looking for Jordan.”
“Right. Well, she’s gone. I figure she’d headed to school.”
I moved a little so I could look into her eyes. Deep into them. And I accessed that part of me that allowed me to read the minds of demons. It was part of what made me dangerous as a nexus—the unspoken truths of a demon...or an angel...could be used against them. The secrets of Heaven and Hell lay just behind their gazes. That was what I’d use to find out who she was, what she wanted and what had really happened with Jordan.
However, there was one problem.
I couldn’t read her mind.
And there was no wall there to stop me. There was just...nothing.
She wasn’t a demon. She was human.
A man walked down the hall.
“Joe,” she called to him, moving to the doorway. “Listen, it was a great breakfast meeting. Let’s do it again soon, okay?”
“Sure thing, Eva.” He grasped her hand and shook it firmly.
She didn’t devour his emotions, leaving him a suicidal wreck. Of course not. This woman was one hundred percent human.
Jordan was wrong. She must have figured that out herself and headed back to school.
I let out a huge, shaky sigh as relief washed over me.
“I have to go,” I said.
“What about the show?” Eva asked.
“I’m not interested, sorry.” I escaped from Divine Model Management as fast as I could. My heart pounded hard, but my previous anxiety lifted. I’d honestly thought something bad had happened to Jordan on her search for the truth.
While she wouldn’t have gotten the answer she needed, my nemesis would still be breathing. Who knew I was so concerned with her well-being?
With a lighter heart and renewed optimism that this was a sign of better things to come, I headed to the bus stop, turning at the corner up ahead.
“Samantha,” a familiar voice greeted me.
My breath caught and I pivoted to see Stephen standing there, as if waiting for me.
“You...” I managed, shocked. Seeing him gave me a rush of conflicting emotions—happiness that he was still alive, and wariness...that he was still alive. He’d been so sure last night had been it for him, that he’d been going into stasis, that he’d convinced me, too. “You’re okay. I thought last night... I—I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Yet, here I am.” He drew closer. He wore a knee-length black wool coat that matched the color of his hair. His cinnamon-colored eyes scanned the street before they fell on me. A few cars went by. “I have something for you. Something you need. And it’s time I gave it to you.”
My soul. He had my soul a
nd he was finally going to give it back to me!
“Thank you, Stephen,” I said, my throat tight. “Where is it?”
“This way.” He nodded to a car around the corner, parked at the side of the curb.
I followed him, still wary, but hopeful. He opened the passenger-side door and pulled out a wrapped cloth. I drew closer to see, my heart pounding.
“Is that my soul?” I whispered.
He unfolded it and I waited to see what was inside, but it was only a cloth. And it smelled strange.
I frowned. “What is that?”
“Like I said, it’s something you need.” Then he grabbed me, his arm an iron vice across my chest.
I fought back immediately, shrieking as he pressed the cloth over my mouth and nose. I scrambled under the edge of my skirt to grab the dagger and pull it free from its sheath, and then tried to stab Stephen with it. He caught my wrist before I could make contact. His grip tightened until a lightning bolt of pain wrenched through my wrist and I heard a sharp crack. My cry of pain and fear was muffled by the cloth, and the dagger clattered to the pavement.
He was strong—so strong. He’d broken my wrist like it was nothing more than a twig.
All I smelled were harsh chemicals. I kept fighting against him for a few moments longer before darkness welled up all around me, dragging me down, down, down...
Chapter 20
Chloroform.
I was sure that’s what Stephen had on the cloth. I’d only seen it in movies before. Now I’d experienced it in full Technicolor unconsciousness.
I wasn’t sure how long it was until I started waking up. As soon as awareness began swirling around me and I peeled my eyelids open a little, the cloth was at my mouth again. I barely had a chance to struggle or summon a scream before darkness welled up.
This happened twice more before I finally came to full consciousness. My head ached. The world around me was blurry. My chest hurt when I inhaled raggedly and hoarsely, followed by a dry, wheezing cough. My broken wrist throbbed.