Chapter VI
I now come to the mention of a person with whose name the most turbulentsensations are connected. It is with a shuddering reluctance that Ienter on the province of describing him. Now it is that I begin toperceive the difficulty of the task which I have undertaken; but itwould be weakness to shrink from it. My blood is congealed: and myfingers are palsied when I call up his image. Shame upon my cowardly andinfirm heart! Hitherto I have proceeded with some degree of composure,but now I must pause. I mean not that dire remembrance shall subdue mycourage or baffle my design, but this weakness cannot be immediatelyconquered. I must desist for a little while.
I have taken a few turns in my chamber, and have gathered strengthenough to proceed. Yet have I not projected a task beyond my power toexecute? If thus, on the very threshold of the scene, my knees faulterand I sink, how shall I support myself, when I rush into the midst ofhorrors such as no heart has hitherto conceived, nor tongue related? Isicken and recoil at the prospect, and yet my irresolution is momentary.I have not formed this design upon slight grounds, and though I may attimes pause and hesitate, I will not be finally diverted from it.
And thou, O most fatal and potent of mankind, in what terms shall Idescribe thee? What words are adequate to the just delineation of thycharacter? How shall I detail the means which rendered the secrecy ofthy purposes unfathomable? But I will not anticipate. Let me recoverif possible, a sober strain. Let me keep down the flood of passion thatwould render me precipitate or powerless. Let me stifle the agonies thatare awakened by thy name. Let me, for a time, regard thee as a beingof no terrible attributes. Let me tear myself from contemplation ofthe evils of which it is but too certain that thou wast the author, andlimit my view to those harmless appearances which attended thy entranceon the stage.
One sunny afternoon, I was standing in the door of my house, when Imarked a person passing close to the edge of the bank that was infront. His pace was a careless and lingering one, and had none of thatgracefulness and ease which distinguish a person with certain advantagesof education from a clown. His gait was rustic and aukward. His form wasungainly and disproportioned. Shoulders broad and square, breast sunken,his head drooping, his body of uniform breadth, supported by long andlank legs, were the ingredients of his frame. His garb was not illadapted to such a figure. A slouched hat, tarnished by the weather, acoat of thick grey cloth, cut and wrought, as it seemed, by a countrytailor, blue worsted stockings, and shoes fastened by thongs, and deeplydiscoloured by dust, which brush had never disturbed, constituted hisdress.
There was nothing remarkable in these appearances; they were frequentlyto be met with on the road, and in the harvest field. I cannot tell whyI gazed upon them, on this occasion, with more than ordinary attention,unless it were that such figures were seldom seen by me, except on theroad or field. This lawn was only traversed by men whose views weredirected to the pleasures of the walk, or the grandeur of the scenery.
He passed slowly along, frequently pausing, as if to examine theprospect more deliberately, but never turning his eye towards the house,so as to allow me a view of his countenance. Presently, he entered acopse at a small distance, and disappeared. My eye followed him whilehe remained in sight. If his image remained for any duration in my fancyafter his departure, it was because no other object occurred sufficientto expel it.
I continued in the same spot for half an hour, vaguely, and by fits,contemplating the image of this wanderer, and drawing, from outwardappearances, those inferences with respect to the intellectual historyof this person, which experience affords us. I reflected on thealliance which commonly subsists between ignorance and the practiceof agriculture, and indulged myself in airy speculations as to theinfluence of progressive knowledge in dissolving this alliance, andembodying the dreams of the poets. I asked why the plough and the hoemight not become the trade of every human being, and how thistrade might be made conducive to, or, at least, consistent with theacquisition of wisdom and eloquence.
Weary with these reflections, I returned to the kitchen to perform somehousehold office. I had usually but one servant, and she was a girlabout my own age. I was busy near the chimney, and she was employed nearthe door of the apartment, when some one knocked. The door was opened byher, and she was immediately addressed with "Pry'thee, good girl, canstthou supply a thirsty man with a glass of buttermilk?" She answeredthat there was none in the house. "Aye, but there is some in the dairyyonder. Thou knowest as well as I, though Hermes never taught thee, thatthough every dairy be an house, every house is not a dairy." Tothis speech, though she understood only a part of it, she repliedby repeating her assurances, that she had none to give. "Well then,"rejoined the stranger, "for charity's sweet sake, hand me forth a cupof cold water." The girl said she would go to the spring and fetch it."Nay, give me the cup, and suffer me to help myself. Neither manaclednor lame, I should merit burial in the maw of carrion crows, if I laidthis task upon thee." She gave him the cup, and he turned to go to thespring.
I listened to this dialogue in silence. The words uttered by the personwithout, affected me as somewhat singular, but what chiefly renderedthem remarkable, was the tone that accompanied them. It was wholly new.My brother's voice and Pleyel's were musical and energetic. I had fondlyimagined, that, in this respect, they were surpassed by none. Now mymistake was detected. I cannot pretend to communicate the impressionthat was made upon me by these accents, or to depict the degree in whichforce and sweetness were blended in them. They were articulated with adistinctness that was unexampled in my experience. But this was not all.The voice was not only mellifluent and clear, but the emphasis was sojust, and the modulation so impassioned, that it seemed as if an heartof stone could not fail of being moved by it. It imparted to me anemotion altogether involuntary and incontroulable. When he uttered thewords "for charity's sweet sake," I dropped the cloth that I held inmy hand, my heart overflowed with sympathy, and my eyes with unbiddentears.
This description will appear to you trifling or incredible. Theimportance of these circumstances will be manifested in the sequel.The manner in which I was affected on this occasion, was, to my ownapprehension, a subject of astonishment. The tones were indeed such asI never heard before; but that they should, in an instant, as it were,dissolve me in tears, will not easily be believed by others, and canscarcely be comprehended by myself.
It will be readily supposed that I was somewhat inquisitive as to theperson and demeanour of our visitant. After a moment's pause, I steppedto the door and looked after him. Judge my surprize, when I beheld theself-same figure that had appeared an half hour before upon the bank. Myfancy had conjured up a very different image. A form, and attitude, andgarb, were instantly created worthy to accompany such elocution; butthis person was, in all visible respects, the reverse of this phantom.Strange as it may seem, I could not speedily reconcile myself to thisdisappointment. Instead of returning to my employment, I threw myselfin a chair that was placed opposite the door, and sunk into a fit ofmusing.
My attention was, in a few minutes, recalled by the stranger, whoreturned with the empty cup in his hand. I had not thought of thecircumstance, or should certainly have chosen a different seat. He nosooner shewed himself, than a confused sense of impropriety, added tothe suddenness of the interview, for which, not having foreseen it,I had made no preparation, threw me into a state of the most painfulembarrassment. He brought with him a placid brow; but no sooner had hecast his eyes upon me, than his face was as glowingly suffused asmy own. He placed the cup upon the bench, stammered out thanks, andretired.
It was some time before I could recover my wonted composure. I hadsnatched a view of the stranger's countenance. The impression that itmade was vivid and indelible. His cheeks were pallid and lank, his eyessunken, his forehead overshadowed by coarse straggling hairs, his teethlarge and irregular, though sound and brilliantly white, and his chindiscoloured by a tetter. His skin was of coarse grain, and sallow hue.Every feature was wide of beauty, and the outline of his face remind
edyou of an inverted cone.
And yet his forehead, so far as shaggy locks would allow it to be seen,his eyes lustrously black, and possessing, in the midst of haggardness,a radiance inexpressibly serene and potent, and something in the rest ofhis features, which it would be in vain to describe, but which served tobetoken a mind of the highest order, were essential ingredients in theportrait. This, in the effects which immediately flowed from it, I countamong the most extraordinary incidents of my life. This face, seen fora moment, continued for hours to occupy my fancy, to the exclusion ofalmost every other image. I had purposed to spend the evening with mybrother, but I could not resist the inclination of forming a sketchupon paper of this memorable visage. Whether my hand was aided by anypeculiar inspiration, or I was deceived by my own fond conceptions, thisportrait, though hastily executed, appeared unexceptionable to my owntaste.
I placed it at all distances, and in all lights; my eyes were rivettedupon it. Half the night passed away in wakefulness and in contemplationof this picture. So flexible, and yet so stubborn, is the human mind.So obedient to impulses the most transient and brief, and yet sounalterably observant of the direction which is given to it! How littledid I then foresee the termination of that chain, of which this may beregarded as the first link?
Next day arose in darkness and storm. Torrents of rain fell duringthe whole day, attended with incessant thunder, which reverberated instunning echoes from the opposite declivity. The inclemency of the airwould not allow me to walk-out. I had, indeed, no inclination to leavemy apartment. I betook myself to the contemplation of this portrait,whose attractions time had rather enhanced than diminished. I laid asidemy usual occupations, and seating myself at a window, consumed the dayin alternately looking out upon the storm, and gazing at the picturewhich lay upon a table before me. You will, perhaps, deem this conductsomewhat singular, and ascribe it to certain peculiarities of temper. Iam not aware of any such peculiarities. I can account for my devotion tothis image no otherwise, than by supposing that its properties wererare and prodigious. Perhaps you will suspect that such were thefirst inroads of a passion incident to every female heart, andwhich frequently gains a footing by means even more slight, and moreimprobable than these. I shall not controvert the reasonableness of thesuspicion, but leave you at liberty to draw, from my narrative, whatconclusions you please.
Night at length returned, and the storm ceased. The air was once moreclear and calm, and bore an affecting contrast to that uproar of theelements by which it had been preceded. I spent the darksome hours, asI spent the day, contemplative and seated at the window. Why was my mindabsorbed in thoughts ominous and dreary? Why did my bosom heave withsighs, and my eyes overflow with tears? Was the tempest that had justpast a signal of the ruin which impended over me? My soul fondly dweltupon the images of my brother and his children, yet they only increasedthe mournfulness of my contemplations. The smiles of the charming babeswere as bland as formerly. The same dignity sat on the brow of theirfather, and yet I thought of them with anguish. Something whisperedthat the happiness we at present enjoyed was set on mutable foundations.Death must happen to all. Whether our felicity was to be subverted by itto-morrow, or whether it was ordained that we should lay down our headsfull of years and of honor, was a question that no human being couldsolve. At other times, these ideas seldom intruded. I either forbore toreflect upon the destiny that is reserved for all men, or the reflectionwas mixed up with images that disrobed it of terror; but now theuncertainty of life occurred to me without any of its usual andalleviating accompaniments. I said to myself, we must die. Sooner orlater, we must disappear for ever from the face of the earth. Whateverbe the links that hold us to life, they must be broken. This sceneof existence is, in all its parts, calamitous. The greater number isoppressed with immediate evils, and those, the tide of whose fortunes isfull, how small is their portion of enjoyment, since they know that itwill terminate.
For some time I indulged myself, without reluctance, in these gloomythoughts; but at length, the dejection which they produced becameinsupportably painful. I endeavoured to dissipate it with music. I hadall my grand-father's melody as well as poetry by rote. I now lightedby chance on a ballad, which commemorated the fate of a German Cavalier,who fell at the siege of Nice under Godfrey of Bouillon. My choice wasunfortunate, for the scenes of violence and carnage which were herewildly but forcibly pourtrayed, only suggested to my thoughts a newtopic in the horrors of war.
I sought refuge, but ineffectually, in sleep. My mind was thronged byvivid, but confused images, and no effort that I made was sufficient todrive them away. In this situation I heard the clock, which hung inthe room, give the signal for twelve. It was the same instrument whichformerly hung in my father's chamber, and which, on account of itsbeing his workmanship, was regarded, by every one of our family, withveneration. It had fallen to me, in the division of his property, andwas placed in this asylum. The sound awakened a series of reflections,respecting his death. I was not allowed to pursue them; for scarcelyhad the vibrations ceased, when my attention was attracted by a whisper,which, at first, appeared to proceed from lips that were laid close tomy ear.
No wonder that a circumstance like this startled me. In the firstimpulse of my terror, I uttered a slight scream, and shrunk to theopposite side of the bed. In a moment, however, I recovered from mytrepidation. I was habitually indifferent to all the causes of fear,by which the majority are afflicted. I entertained no apprehensionof either ghosts or robbers. Our security had never been molested byeither, and I made use of no means to prevent or counterwork theirmachinations. My tranquillity, on this occasion, was quickly retrieved.The whisper evidently proceeded from one who was posted at my bed-side.The first idea that suggested itself was, that it was uttered by thegirl who lived with me as a servant. Perhaps, somewhat had alarmed her,or she was sick, and had come to request my assistance. By whispering inmy ear, she intended to rouse without alarming me.
Full of this persuasion, I called; "Judith," said I, "is it you? Whatdo you want? Is there any thing the matter with you?" No answer wasreturned. I repeated my inquiry, but equally in vain. Cloudy as was theatmosphere, and curtained as my bed was, nothing was visible. I withdrewthe curtain, and leaning my head on my elbow, I listened with thedeepest attention to catch some new sound. Meanwhile, I ran over in mythoughts, every circumstance that could assist my conjectures.
My habitation was a wooden edifice, consisting of two stories. In eachstory were two rooms, separated by an entry, or middle passage, withwhich they communicated by opposite doors. The passage, on the lowerstory, had doors at the two ends, and a stair-case. Windows answered tothe doors on the upper story. Annexed to this, on the eastern side, werewings, divided, in like manner, into an upper and lower room; one ofthem comprized a kitchen, and chamber above it for the servant, andcommunicated, on both stories, with the parlour adjoining it below,and the chamber adjoining it above. The opposite wing is of smallerdimensions, the rooms not being above eight feet square. The lower ofthese was used as a depository of household implements, the upper was acloset in which I deposited my books and papers. They had but one inlet,which was from the room adjoining. There was no window in the lower one,and in the upper, a small aperture which communicated light and air, butwould scarcely admit the body. The door which led into this, was closeto my bed-head, and was always locked, but when I myself was within. Theavenues below were accustomed to be closed and bolted at nights.
The maid was my only companion, and she could not reach my chamberwithout previously passing through the opposite chamber, and the middlepassage, of which, however, the doors were usually unfastened. If shehad occasioned this noise, she would have answered my repeated calls.No other conclusion, therefore, was left me, but that I had mistaken thesounds, and that my imagination had transformed some casual noise intothe voice of a human creature. Satisfied with this solution, I waspreparing to relinquish my listening attitude, when my ear was againsaluted with a new and yet louder whispering. It appeared,
as before,to issue from lips that touched my pillow. A second effort of attention,however, clearly shewed me, that the sounds issued from within thecloset, the door of which was not more than eight inches from my pillow.
This second interruption occasioned a shock less vehement than theformer. I started, but gave no audible token of alarm. I was so muchmistress of my feelings, as to continue listening to what should besaid. The whisper was distinct, hoarse, and uttered so as to shew thatthe speaker was desirous of being heard by some one near, but, at thesame time, studious to avoid being overheard by any other.
"Stop, stop, I say; madman as you are! there are better means than that.Curse upon your rashness! There is no need to shoot."
Such were the words uttered in a tone of eagerness and anger, within sosmall a distance of my pillow. What construction could I put uponthem? My heart began to palpitate with dread of some unknown danger.Presently, another voice, but equally near me, was heard whispering inanswer. "Why not? I will draw a trigger in this business, but perditionbe my lot if I do more." To this, the first voice returned, in a tonewhich rage had heightened in a small degree above a whisper, "Coward!stand aside, and see me do it. I will grasp her throat; I will do herbusiness in an instant; she shall not have time so much as to groan."What wonder that I was petrified by sounds so dreadful! Murdererslurked in my closet. They were planning the means of my destruction. Oneresolved to shoot, and the other menaced suffocation. Their means beingchosen, they would forthwith break the door. Flight instantly suggesteditself as most eligible in circumstances so perilous. I deliberated nota moment; but, fear adding wings to my speed, I leaped out of bed, andscantily robed as I was, rushed out of the chamber, down stairs, andinto the open air. I can hardly recollect the process of turningkeys, and withdrawing bolts. My terrors urged me forward with almost amechanical impulse. I stopped not till I reached my brother's door.I had not gained the threshold, when, exhausted by the violence of myemotions, and by my speed, I sunk down in a fit.
How long I remained in this situation I know not. When I recovered, Ifound myself stretched on a bed, surrounded by my sister and herfemale servants. I was astonished at the scene before me, but graduallyrecovered the recollection of what had happened. I answered theirimportunate inquiries as well as I was able. My brother and Pleyel,whom the storm of the preceding day chanced to detain here, informingthemselves of every particular, proceeded with lights and weapons to mydeserted habitation. They entered my chamber and my closet, and foundevery thing in its proper place and customary order. The door of thecloset was locked, and appeared not to have been opened in my absence.They went to Judith's apartment. They found her asleep and in safety.Pleyel's caution induced him to forbear alarming the girl; and findingher wholly ignorant of what had passed, they directed her to return toher chamber. They then fastened the doors, and returned.
My friends were disposed to regard this transaction as a dream. Thatpersons should be actually immured in this closet, to which, in thecircumstances of the time, access from without or within was apparentlyimpossible, they could not seriously believe. That any human beingshad intended murder, unless it were to cover a scheme of pillage, wasincredible; but that no such design had been formed, was evidentfrom the security in which the furniture of the house and the closetremained.
I revolved every incident and expression that had occurred. Mysenses assured me of the truth of them, and yet their abruptness andimprobability made me, in my turn, somewhat incredulous. The adventurehad made a deep impression on my fancy, and it was not till after aweek's abode at my brother's, that I resolved to resume the possessionof my own dwelling. There was another circumstance that enhanced themysteriousness of this event. After my recovery it was obvious toinquire by what means the attention of the family had been drawn to mysituation. I had fallen before I had reached the threshold, or was ableto give any signal. My brother related, that while this was transactingin my chamber, he himself was awake, in consequence of some slightindisposition, and lay, according to his custom, musing on some favoritetopic. Suddenly the silence, which was remarkably profound, was brokenby a voice of most piercing shrillness, that seemed to be uttered by onein the hall below his chamber. "Awake! arise!" it exclaimed: "hasten tosuccour one that is dying at your door."
This summons was effectual. There was no one in the house who was notroused by it. Pleyel was the first to obey, and my brother overtook himbefore he reached the hall. What was the general astonishment when yourfriend was discovered stretched upon the grass before the door, pale,ghastly, and with every mark of death!
This was the third instance of a voice, exerted for the benefit of thislittle community. The agent was no less inscrutable in this, than in theformer case. When I ruminated upon these events, my soul was suspendedin wonder and awe. Was I really deceived in imagining that I heard thecloset conversation? I was no longer at liberty to question the realityof those accents which had formerly recalled my brother from the hill;which had imparted tidings of the death of the German lady to Pleyel;and which had lately summoned them to my assistance.
But how was I to regard this midnight conversation? Hoarse and manlikevoices conferring on the means of death, so near my bed, and at suchan hour! How had my ancient security vanished! That dwelling, which hadhitherto been an inviolate asylum, was now beset with danger to mylife. That solitude, formerly so dear to me, could no longer be endured.Pleyel, who had consented to reside with us during the months of spring,lodged in the vacant chamber, in order to quiet my alarms. He treatedmy fears with ridicule, and in a short time very slight traces of themremained: but as it was wholly indifferent to him whether his nightswere passed at my house or at my brother's, this arrangement gavegeneral satisfaction.