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No wonder Walter said they were cursed. Even Harry's mother had said his line was cursed. Everyone who loved him lived to regret it. If they lived.
His heart sank. Elsa's instincts to reject him had been right all along. It was the only way she could stay safe. If he tried to hang on to her, it would only cause her regret. She shouldn't have to live with a man she couldn't trust.
If he loved her, he needed to let her go.
Chapter Twenty-two
The next morning, Howard lumbered into the security office at Dragon Nest Academy. When he'd arrived last night, everyone had greeted him with big smiles as if they could erase his grief just by acting cheerful. His cousins had been welcomed by everyone, and then Toni and Ian had taken them on a tour before leaving them in a dormitory room in the boy's wing. Shanna had told him he could take a few days off, but he'd declined.
Now he stared out the window at the front drive and the grounds that extended to the main road. The sun was up, so Elsa was probably hard at work at the gatehouse. One of her aunts would be out front, guarding her, although it was no longer necessary. She was not in any danger from him. She would be free to live a long and happy life because the local berserker would leave her in peace.
"Hey, Howard! Hey, dude!" Two voices called out behind him.
He turned to find his cousins strolling into the office.
"Nice. " Jimmy sprawled in the chair across from his desk.
"Wow, security monitors. Cool!" Jesse perched on the corner of his desk. "But you need more chairs in here, dude. "
"That's nothing compared to the real problem around here," Jimmy grumbled.
"What problem?" Howard asked. "Is something wrong with your room?"
"Oh, the room's fine," Jesse answered. "The food's good, too. If you don't mind the stink. "
Howard sat in his chair. "The food stinks?"
"Not the food," Jimmy corrected him. "The company. This place is full of werewolves!"
"Yeah!" Jesse gave him an indignant look. "You should have warned us we were going into a wolf den. "
"Not all the kids here are werewolves. " Howard leaned back in his chair. "There are a few were-panthers. "
"Yeah, we met them. " Jimmy waved a dismissive hand. "They seem all right. "
"The oldest cat girl is really pretty," Jesse said. "But when I was checking her out, the oldest cat boy growled at me. "
Howard sighed. "They have names - Teresa and Emiliano. "
"Whatever," Jimmy grumbled. "The point is this place is full of stinky male werewolves. "
"Have they been rude to you?" Howard asked.
Jesse shrugged. "Not really. We've been ignoring them. "
"They're what we call Lost Boys," Howard explained. "They showed leadership capabilities and a potential for going Alpha, which made them a threat to their local Pack Masters. They were banished for life. No home, no family, and nowhere to go. "
"Sheesh. " Jimmy grimaced.
"That sucks," Jesse mumbled.
Howard nodded. "They're from Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho. They're not like Bleddyn's werewolves in Alaska, who have been raised to hate us. They're more like Phil. You like Phil, right?"
Jesse shrugged. "Yeah, he's okay. "
"He's cool," Jimmy agreed.
"So you'll make an effort to get along with the wolf boys?" Howard asked.
The twins nodded.
Jimmy shifted in the chair. "There's still a problem here. "
"Yeah," Jesse agreed. "There aren't any girls. I mean, I've seen a few older ladies around here, but I swear they're all knocked up. "
Jimmy nodded. "We kinda figured that meant they were taken. "
Howard snorted. "Brilliant deduction. "
"Is there a town nearby?" Jimmy asked.
Jesse sighed. "It's no use, bro. Even if we found some local girls who were willing to date us, we don't have any money. "
Howard groaned inwardly. Was he going to spend the next few months listening to his young cousins' ongoing saga of raging adolescent hormones? He needed to keep them busy. Hard, physical labor would be the best.
An idea struck him and he leaned forward. "Have you guys ever done construction work?"
"Sure," Jimmy replied. "It was about the only work we could find in Port Mishenka. "
"There's a house being renovated just down the road. I'll see if they can use a few extra hands. " Howard would call Alastair later. If the twins worked there, they could keep him informed on the project. Then he wouldn't have to risk running into Elsa.
"Cool," Jimmy said. "We could earn some money for college. "
"The renovation is being done by a television show called International Home Wreckers. Maybe you've heard of it?" When his cousins stared at him blankly, Howard continued, "It's on the Home and Garden Renovation Station. "
Jesse scratched his head. "Is that like one of those old people stations?"
Howard sighed. "It's a TV show, and if you work there - "
"We could be on TV?" Jesse jumped to his feet.
Jimmy stood. "This is so cool!" He did a high five with his brother.
"The show won't air for another six months or so," Howard warned the boys. "They have to finish the job first. " And he'd have to make sure Rhett was no longer a threat.
"Hi!" a young voice called from the doorway.
"Tino. " Howard waved him in. "Have you met my cousins?"
Tino approached, studying them carefully. "Are you were-bears, too?"
"Yep," Jimmy replied.
"I bet you're not as big as Howard. " Tino squirmed into the chair. "Nobody is as big as Howard. "
Jesse nodded. "You got that right, little dude. "
Tino grinned. "I'm glad you're here. My mom says Howard's going to be real sad and he'll need all his friends. "
With a groan, Howard rubbed his brow.
"Guess what, little dude?" Jimmy asked, clearly trying to change the subject. "My brother and I are going to do construction work down the road and be on a TV show!"
"It's not set," Howard warned him. "I still have to arrange it with Alastair. "
"Oh, then you get to work with Elsa!" Tino exclaimed.
"Elsa?" Jesse asked, his eyes lighting up. "Is she pretty?"
Howard tamped down on a sudden urge to growl.
"She's Howard's dream girl," Tino explained.
"Oh, really?" Jimmy grinned at Howard.
Jesse snickered. "Oh, that Howie, he's a busy boy. "
Howard tamped down on a sudden urge to rip a few heads off.
"Howard. " Tino looked around the office. "Where are the donuts? I wanted a donut. "
"You've got donuts?" Jimmy scanned the room.
"I didn't get any today," Howard grumbled.
"What?" Tino's mouth fell open. "Are you sick?"
"Oh my God, Howie. " Jesse feigned a look of horror. "How will you live?"
"Don't you have something to do?" Howard growled. "Move on, so I can get to my job. "
"Yeah, yeah, we're going," Jimmy ambled toward the door.
"He wouldn't be such a grouch if he'd eaten some donuts," Jesse added as they left the room.
Tino climbed off the chair. "Did you get my present?"
"Yes. " Howard reached into his pants pocket and retrieved the white marble chess piece. He opened his palm to show it to Tino. Harry, the white polar bear, the white knight.
"I'm sorry you lost him," Tino whispered.
"So am I. " Howard's hand curled around the piece.
"I hope you'll have donuts tomorrow. " Tino shuffled out of the room.
The gatehouse was packed full of people. Elsa had halted her work on the new island in the kitchen, for the wiring and plumbing crews had come in to do their job. Madge and the camera crew were also there, filming. As soon as the pipes and wiring were installed, The B Boys would finish floating the new ceiling
on the ground floor.
She was in the utility room, checking where the wall had been removed and plumbing installed for a washing machine, when Alastair strolled in and came to a stop on the newly repaired floor.
"I just hired two more workers. " He bounced on the balls of his feet, testing the floor. "Howard says they have experience. "
Her heart swelled at the sound of his name. "Howard is back?"
"Yes. The boys are his cousins. Apparently, he brought them back with him from Alaska. "
"I see. " A twinge of disappointment nicked at her. Howard had contacted Alastair but not her?
"The boys are Jimmy and Jesse Barr. They'll start work in the morning. " Alastair sauntered from the room. "I hope Howard starts bringing us donuts again. "
Jimmy and Jesse Barr? Elsa slapped herself mentally. Why hadn't she realized Howard's last name was such a major clue? But she couldn't recall him ever mentioning his last name. These two cousins were probably were-bears, too. And berserkers.
Great. Now there would be three berserkers close by who could fulfill the curse. She shoved that thought aside. She wasn't going to let the stupid curse dictate her life. It only had power over her if she believed in it and feared it.
Howard felt the same way. So why hadn't he called? Maybe with all the noise in the house, she'd missed his call? She pulled her cell phone from her jeans pocket. No missed calls. No texts. She called his number, but it rang and rang. Was he busy? She left a voice message.
"Howard, I heard you were back. I'm so sorry about Harry. Call me when you get a chance. Bye. "
She switched the phone to vibrate so she would feel it when he returned her call.
An hour later, he still hadn't called. Was he really that busy? Or maybe he was too depressed over Harry's death. Should she give him sympathy or give him space?
Another hour passed. An ominous feeling settled in her gut. This wasn't like Howard. He'd always been so determined to pursue her.
After another hour, the ominous feeling threatened to turn into panic. Now that she feared she might lose him, she realized how badly she wanted him.
She called again. It rang and rang.
"Hi, Elsa," he finally answered.
Her heart did its usual somersault at the sound of his deep, sexy voice. "Howard, I was worried about you. Are you all right?"
"Yes. " There was a pause. "I've been . . . thinking. "
The bad feeling in her gut returned full force. "You're in mourning now. You shouldn't be making any - "
"I don't want you to live in fear of me. It's not fair to you. And I've been putting you in a bad position, forcing you to lie to your aunts. "
Her gut twisted. "Howard, don't - "
"I can't let you fall in love with me. "
Too late! she wanted to scream.
"Not when I know it will end with regret," he continued quickly. "You tried to reject me several times. Your instincts were correct. "
"What do you mean? You were planning to attack me after all?"
"No, of course not. I could never hurt you. "
"You're hurting me now!"
There was a pause before he continued. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I'm sure if you think about it, you'll know this is for the best. You can have a full and happy life without any fears that the curse will come true. "
"I don't care about the damned curse!"
"It's for the best. I'm really sorry. " He hung up.
She stared at the phone. Was this really happening? Had he really dropped her? On the phone? Her heart pounded, thundering in her ears.
This couldn't be happening! The man who had pursued her without fail had suddenly failed on her?
It had to be the grief. With trembling hands, she stuffed the phone back into her pocket. This wasn't like Howard. The Howard she knew was always smiling and joking. But his jolly exterior simply masked how strong and determined he was. He never gave up.
She wandered past the other workers, not even hearing them, till she ended up on the back porch. Her gaze drifted to the spot where she'd had two picnics with Howard. And right there was the spot where he'd told her he loved her.
"This is all wrong," she whispered. It was all backward. From the moment they had met, he'd chased after her while she had wavered. And now that she was thoroughly caught, he was wavering? No, more than wavering. He'd flat out rejected her.
How could he? He'd stood right over there and told her he loved her.
"Dammit. " She pulled her phone from her pocket to send him a text message.
What the hell happened? she typed, then erased it. Too angry. The guy was in mourning. She should cut him some slack.
I thought you wanted to jump my bones? No, that made their relationship sound merely physical. It was much deeper than that. Their souls belonged together. She'd felt pulled to him the moment she first saw him. Just like her aunt Ula had said. The two of them, guardian and berserker, were tied together in a dance that was centuries old. It was up to them to give that dance a happy ending instead of a tragic one. Howard had always been up to the challenge. Until now.
How dare he toss their attraction aside? She'd come so far since her arrival here. She'd adjusted to being the Guardian of the Forest. She'd learned to accept him as a were-bear. She'd finally arrived at the point that she was ready to trust him. How dare he reject all the progress she'd made?