“Water was his one weakness, the thing that could kill him. He drowned. He’s dead.” The old man didn’t wait for them, but shuffled extremely slow toward the steps. He was angry, angry that Colin had picked her over the statue. She could see that in the hard set of his face. Would Leo be angry? Would Ella? Had she been selfish?
Alone with Colin, Bea was suddenly nervous. Why wasn’t he talking to her? Why wasn’t he laughing? Why wasn’t he happy? “Will your father be all right?”
“Flesh wound,” Colin replied, his voice still low and controlled, his face still stoic. Nothing. He was giving her bloody nothing to read. What was he thinking? Damn him! Was he angry at her? All she wanted to do was hold him close, to breathe in his scent, to kiss him … yet … yet he was being so cold.
“I’m so sorry, Colin,” she blurted out as tears stung her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
His jaw clenched, his throat working as if he wanted to say something, but held back. Suddenly, his large hands cupped her face and she thought he would kiss her … prayed he would kiss her. But he merely stared into her eyes for the longest moment. He didn’t say a word. Nothing. Bea grew nervous. Finally, he jerked her forward. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight, so tight she could barely breathe. Tears slipped unabashedly down her cheeks. Bea pressed her face into Colin’s shirt, breathing in his scent.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered again.
He pulled away, his eyes hard, his face blank, as if he hadn’t just hugged her as if his life depended upon the embrace. “Let’s go.”
She nodded, her tears of relief turning into tears of pain. He wanted that statue. It was obvious. He regretted picking her. And most likely Leo and Ella would be angry as well. She pushed away from his hold.
“I didn’t tell you to save me, Colin Finch. You made the choice.”
Without waiting for his response, she swept past him and started down the stairs, her legs trembling with each step.
“French girl’s gone. Fled, is my bet,” Colin’s father said, glaring at her as she passed him, as if it was her fault. “What should we do with the two Indian men?”
She could hear Colin coming down the steps behind her but didn’t wait for his response. She slipped outside, resting her back against the wall.
“Take them back with us, what choice do we have?” Colin murmured from inside.
He wasn’t rushing after her. He didn’t care. She stumbled down the steps. As her bare feet sank into the soft grass, she heard Colin’s father. “What did you do, my boy? What the hell did you do?”
Bea froze. The anger and disappointment were obvious in the old man’s voice. For a brief moment Colin might have thought her life was more important than the statue, but Colin’s father never had.
Bea bit her lower lip, waiting.
“What you didn’t have the guts to do,” Colin replied.
Bea turned, confused by his answer. But Colin was helping the Indian men to their feet, his attention focused on them, Bea all but forgotten.
Chapter 29
“You’re sure? Absolutely sure?” Ella’s face was grim, the dark circles under her eyes showing her exhaustion. For two days they’d been ensconced in Akshay’s home, but it was obvious Ella was still worried about them. Fortunately Ella hadn’t been the least bit upset about losing the statue. In fact, she’d seemed rather relieved that the piece was somewhere on the bottom of the ocean.
Bea’s guilt flared. It wasn’t right that her friend should be so tired when she was with child. Part of it was Bea’s fault, for the worry she’d produced. Yes, the faster Leo and Ella could be on their way home and be rid of her, the better.
“Very sure.” Bea folded a dress and settled it carefully into the trunk she’d purchased for her trip. “Sam said he’d escort me. I can’t be any safer than with him, right? He also said he’d hire a ladies’ maid and two others as guards.”
“Bea, I know Sam is Colin’s half brother …” Ella took in a deep breath and settled on Bea’s bed. “And mine, but we don’t really know him. Please, let Leo and I come with you.”
Bea sighed, moving across the room she’d been given. A different room from the room Colin had been shot in. No doubt they figured she couldn’t take the memories. But the memories were still there, always would be.
“No, Ella.” She’d be a burden no longer. With a resigned sigh, she picked up another dress that Ella had purchased for her in town that morning. “You need to rest. Especially in your condition. You need to go back home. Please.” She clutched the gown to her chest. “Besides, I need to do this. For me. I have my own money, I want for nothing.” But even as she said the words, she recognized them as a lie.
Ella nodded slowly, but it was obvious she wanted to argue. “And Colin?”
Bea bristled and shoved the dress into the trunk. “What about Colin?”
Ella didn’t reply. Bea blew a breath between pursed lips and settled her hands on her hips. “I haven’t seen him since. No doubt he blames me for losing the statue.”
Ella tipped her head to the side in a sympathetic manner. “He doesn’t.”
“Then why, Ella? Why won’t he open up to me? Why won’t he tell me how he feels, if he feels the slightest bit of affection for me!” A blush immediately raced to her cheeks. She hadn’t meant to sound like a shrew, and Colin was Ella’s brother, after all. Shockingly enough, Colin had announced that little tidbit the moment they’d arrived at Akshay’s home. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t burden you.”
“You know he cares, Bea.”
Bea snorted. “Yes, well, knowing isn’t the same as hearing it.”
Ella stood and took Bea’s hands. “You already know so much more about him than most, isn’t that enough?”
“Would it be enough for you?”
Ella looked away, her avoidance telling. “No, I suppose not.”
“Well then,” Bea whispered, giving Ella a strained smile.
She sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay as she turned away from her friend. The entire journey back Colin had been silent, barely looking at her. It was obvious he regretted saving her life over the statue. He didn’t care for her after all.
“Bea, I shouldn’t tell you this but … well …”
Bea turned at Ella’s words. Her friend was pacing the room, wringing her hands together in agitation. “Blast it all.” She paused and looked directly at Bea. “There was a woman … before you. An Englishwoman. They were engaged.”
Bea’s heart hammered in her chest and the boots she’d just picked up thumped to the floor. Colin was engaged to another woman? How had she not known? Anger mixed with hurt. She hadn’t known because he hadn’t thought enough of Bea to tell her.
“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but if it’s my last resort, so be it. When he finally told her about his powers, she wanted to use him to make money.” Ella sighed and went to the window, staring out on the rising sun. “I suppose part of me understands. She was an impoverished noblewoman whose family had lost everything. At first, I think Colin was a wonderful diversion. Then, after she found out about his powers, she realized she could use him to elevate her status to what it once was.” Ella turned back toward her and shrugged. “Money and greed can make people do terrible things.”
Bea sank onto the edge of her bed. Colin had been engaged. What else didn’t she know about the man she supposedly loved? Did he still hold affection for his fiancée?
“Colin even wanted her to travel with him, but she scoffed at the idea. Better for both, I suppose. But it hardened him, I believe. He doesn’t trust many with the knowledge of what he can do.”
But he’d trusted Bea. The unspoken words hung between them. In fact, he’d practically begged her to believe and what had she done? Laughed and mocked his abilities. “And he still loves her?” Bea whispered, afraid of the answer.
“No. Not at all,” Ella assured her. “But … well, it’s hard for him.”
Shock gave way to anger. “Well, it’s hard f
or me, too, Ella.”
“I know.” Ella rushed to her side, taking her hands once more. “Just … try, one more time? Don’t leave with any regrets, Bea. If you can travel to Morocco and be happy and never wonder what if … then great. But if you’re going to always wonder what could have happened if you’d tried harder, then don’t go.”
Bea didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say. She supposed Ella was right, but to try again would mean more coldness from Colin, more hurt, more heartbreak. Ella gave her a quick hug, the comforting scent of roses clinging to her body. “I’m going to have a hell of a time keeping Leo from demanding you return to England with us, you know.”
Bea smiled.
Ella pulled back. “Just try, one last time, for me, but more importantly, for you.” Without another word, the woman left, closing the door quietly behind her.
Bea released a long, shaky breath. Would she regret it if she didn’t try one more time? Unwillingly her gaze went to the door. Colin was across the hall, his presence heated and pulsing beneath her skin. She didn’t know how or why she could sense him, but she could.
Perhaps she would regret leaving without another try. But how could she possibly continue if he rejected her? Bea swallowed hard and stood. Only one way to find out. Slowly, she moved across the room on wooden legs.
The house was surprisingly empty. Quiet. Too quiet, as if in mourning. She didn’t bother to knock on Colin’s door, knowing he was in there and worried he would reject her calling. Like she belonged there, Bea opened the door, closing it immediately behind her. Colin stood near the windows, looking dour and confused. At the sound of the door closing, he turned. Bea’s heart clenched. His hair mussed, his clothing wrinkled, he looked gorgeous.
It all made sense to Bea now. Why getting that statue and its riches had been so important to Colin. He wanted to have money, to prove he was worth his fiancée’s attention. Ella said he no longer loved her, but how well did Ella know the man?
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, the only thing she could think of saying.
He looked back out the window. “For what?”
He was speaking to her. At least it was something. “The statue, it’s gone. Leo’s ring. Ella’s necklace. They’re all gone. I know how important they were to you.”
He turned then, and settled on the window ledge, watching her through wary eyes. “What do you mean? How is it your fault?”
She released a wry laugh and raked her trembling hands through her hair. “You know it’s my fault. The money you could have had. The power.” She started pacing, looking everywhere but at him. Her gaze landed on his bed and her heart jerked. That same bed where they’d made love. Where he’d held her, where he’d touched every inch of her body and where she’d thought, for a brief moment, that maybe he did love her.
“It wasn’t about the money.”
She jerked her gaze toward him and lifted a brow, not buying his answer for a second.
He shrugged and sighed. “Maybe a little. But mostly it was about keeping the statue safe and at the bottom of an ocean, near a mythical island … well, it can’t be any safer.”
He smiled briefly, then turned and strolled across the room in the opposite direction from where she stood, as if he couldn’t stand to be near her. “Without all the statues, the riches will never be unveiled, according to legend. I suppose I’m free now.”
The words gave Bea hope, a flaring joy that lit her soul. Truly, he didn’t care about the money? Just as soon as the hope arrived, it dissipated. Why, then, did he still avoid her?
“The statues fit together.” Bea took a hesitant step forward, willing to talk about anything just to have a few more minutes with him.
He shook his head. “What do you mean?”
Bea crossed her arms over her chest. “You were right along. The statues are separate, but they fit together, much like a puzzle.”
He shrugged and looked toward the cold hearth of the marble fireplace, but not before she saw the flicker of interest in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter now.”
Frustrated, Bea took another step closer. She couldn’t read his mind, didn’t know how he felt. Was he still interested in her, or not? More importantly, could she bare her soul and risk everything?
“Come with me,” she blurted out.
He glanced at her, the surprise evident on his face.
“I’m going to Morocco, then perhaps Italy. I don’t know yet. It doesn’t matter. I want you to come with me.”
His smile was kind, the sort of smile a father gave a petulant child. “I’m not the husband type, darlin’.”
Annoyance burned in her gut. Bea’s hands fisted. “I didn’t ask you to marry me.”
He turned away from her once more. “We can’t travel alone; it will ruin your reputation.”
She laughed then, an almost hysterical bubble that welled within. “My reputation is already ruined.”
“You deserve a husband, a titled husband,” he went on, as if he hadn’t even heard her.
Bea swept toward him, standing so close, he was forced to look at her. “I think I know what I want, and I want you.”
His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes. The coward. “What do you want me to say, Bea? You come from a titled family. I come from the streets of New York. I had to beg for food at times, sleep in alleys. Is that the kind of life you want?”
“Do you think that matters to me?”
He looked at her, his gaze hard, unrelenting. “It matters to me.”
Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. “It doesn’t matter what I say, does it?”
He didn’t respond. And she knew there was nothing more she could do. She’d opened her heart, she’d told him what she felt. But she couldn’t change his mind or how much, or little, he felt for her.
“I can’t change who I am. And I don’t want to.”
He smiled fleetingly.
“I can’t change who you are. And I don’t want to. I love you, Colin Finch.”
His nostrils flared slightly, his only reaction.
Bea took a step back. “I love you, but I can’t change your mind. I can’t change how you feel and I can’t change who we are.”
She swallowed hard and turned, walking steadily toward the door, knowing he watched her. With her hand resting on the doorknob, she paused. “I’m leaving. I’ll be on that ship this evening headed to Morocco. If you feel enough … if you want me enough … be on that ship when it leaves.”
She didn’t pause, but forced herself to walk out the door knowing this could be the last time she saw him, yet knowing for her own sanity, she had to let him go.
“You’ll write?” Ella asked, her lower lip quivering. She’d tied her beautiful blond hair into an upswept knot and worn traditional English clothing, a blue dress with a wide skirt that wavered in the wind and a jaunty little hat that perched atop her head. Standing on the deck of The James, they looked like any English family heading home. Leo was equally English in his black suit, although he looked far from comfortable.
Bea nodded, biting her bottom lip to keep from crying. She, too, had dressed for the occasion in a golden-colored gown that matched her eyes, according to Ella. But whereas her English clothing had felt normal when she’d first arrived in India, now it felt confining, too tight. What would Colin think, seeing her dressed so? She banished the thought as soon as it arrived.
“You don’t have to go,” Leo replied softly, so softly that he was barely audible over the flapping of canvas sails and the cry of birds hovering above, waiting for a fishy morsel.
She smiled and threw her arms around his neck in a sudden fit of emotion. He was stiff at first, then finally relented and returned her hug. Perhaps people could change after all.
“Yes, I do.” She pulled back and looked directly at Leo, then Ella, willing them to understand. “Not only do I need to do this for myself, but when would I ever get the chance to see the world again?”
Leo frowned, but Ella smiled throu
gh her tears. “I suppose you’re right. Once you’re married and have children, you’ll want to settle down.”
Bea forced her smile to remain in place. Marriage? Children? The thought made her want to laugh. She couldn’t imagine ever trusting another man, not after Colin had broken her heart.
Her amusement fled. She looked away, fighting her sorrow. All around them, sailors rushed past, shouting out orders, while travelers boarded their cabins. And in every face, she looked for Colin.
“You’ll come back to us, in England, not Scotland, right?” Leo asked.
Bea nodded, her smile suddenly sincere. She had no desire to return to that moldy castle with her brooding grandmother.
“I’ll count the days until we’re all together again.” Ella pulled her close. “The baby will have her wonderful aunt nearby!”
Bea rolled her eyes. Yes, the doddering old maiden aunt.
Ella pulled back, her eyes sparkling. “You’ll tell her stories about all of your adventures!”
Bea laughed, forcing herself to feel better. She was going to have adventures and she didn’t need a man for that. In fact, a man would only stifle her longing for independence. Yes, she was better off alone.
“We have to go,” Leo broke in, leaning forward and pecking her on the cheek. His scent swirled around her, earthy and male, making her feel protected. For a brief moment she almost relented. Almost begged them to take her with them.
Bea bit her lower lip and gave Ella another quick hug. “You be careful on the way home. Take your time. Rest for the baby.”
Her gloved hands took Bea’s. “I will. And you be careful. Come back to us soon, all right?”
Bea nodded and stepped out of arm’s reach, afraid if she didn’t let go now, she never would. Leo slipped his arm through Ella’s and they started down the plank, back toward dry land. Bea kept that ridiculous smile upon her face, kept waving even until her arm began to burn. Even after the ship shoved off from the dock, Bea kept waving. Even as her heart broke piece by piece, falling into the roiling pit of her stomach, she kept her smile in place.