Suddenly queasy, my hold loosens on his shoulders. I blink rapidly, trying in vain to see through the bright white spots that blind me. My ears block with pressure, my breathing shallows, and I shiver. I quickly respond, “I don’t think you could get it here in time.” My body weakens and tilts sideways as I slur, “Catch me. ‘Kay?”
***
Nox
Holding Lily in my arms and feeling the weight of her, or lack of weight, I’m suddenly ashamed of myself.
Damn it to hell. I let this go on too long. Should’ve stopped it sooner.
I saw the exact moment the light switched off. The moment she lost consciousness. And she knew it was coming too. “Catch me. ‘Kay?”
Looking down at her pale, drawn, and ashy face, I shake my head in frustration and fight the urge to growl. Her long, dark lashes rest on her cheeks, and it takes just about all I have to stop myself from running my thumb over her pink, pouty lips.
Trouble. I knew you’d be trouble, missy.
Clearly, this is all her fault. If she would just learn to do what she’s told and tried for a goddamned second to think rationally, none of this would’ve happened. When she wakes up, we’re having a serious talk.
Oh yeah, it’s all her fault. She’s a petrified young woman with a simple request of speaking to someone she trusts and she’s the issue. You’re losing your touch, man, acting like a mall cop on a power trip.
Me? I’m doing everything I can to keep her safe and this is my fault?
Keeping her safe isn’t enough. She’s not like you. She’s fragile. A girl needs more than just being told to trust. You gotta show her you’re willing to compromise. Meet her in the middle.
Meet her in the middle. Compromise. I’m not sure I can do that.
What would you do if you were her?
Run. Run like hell. And I’d hurt whoever got in my way.
The dull throb in my temples being a sure sign of an oncoming migraine, I carry Lily bridal style out of her room, down the hall into the west wing, and stop in front of the very last door.
My door. My room.
Hesitation stalls me. This might not be the best idea but she’s my responsibility. I need to keep her somewhere I can keep an eye on her. Somewhere I can babysit and work at the same time. Holding her tight with one arm, I open the door to my bedroom and walk Lily’s limp body inside. Gently as I can, I lay her down on my bed and she moans softly.
A good sign. She’ll be awake again soon.
Picking up the two-way radio by my bed, I press the button and call into it, “Vito, I got a situation here. Where’s Boo?”
As I release the speak button, a trilling noise sounds and I wait. A beep followed by, “Yo, what kinda situation we talkin’ about here? Boo’s around. I’ll find her.”
Running a hand down my face, I tell him quietly, “Lily. She fainted.”
Immediately, the two-way sounds and an amused Vito probes, “What the hell d’you do to her, Nox? She’s just a girl, man. You probably scared her to death.”
Vito’s young. He still doesn’t quite grasp the authority thing yet. Picking up the two-way, being extra careful to not crush it in my hand, I growl, “Find Boo. Now.”
Still clearly amused, Vito signs off with, “Sir, yes, sir.”
A minute passes and I realize I haven’t moved an inch. Placing my hands on my hips, I turn to view the little woman in my bed and mutter to myself, “Knew you’d be trouble.”
***
Lily
Groaning, I roll myself into a tighter ball, trying in vain to find some relief from the aching.
Aching. All over.
Every muscle in my body feels too tight, and moving even the slightest bit, painfully stretches me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathe rapidly. I feel like I’m going to be sick, but that can’t be right. I haven’t eaten more than an orange in two days. What could I possibly throw up?
My eyelids flutter but refuse to open without a fight. As soon as I manage to pry an eye open, I groan louder. The light in the room hits me with such force, the ill feeling returns with a vengeance.
Shuffling alerts me to the fact I’m not alone, and when the light switch is turned off, I breathe a sigh of relief. Finally able to open my eyes, I sit up against the headboard. I’m completely disoriented. It takes a full minute before I can see what I can’t believe I’m seeing.
Nox sits at a desk at the back of the large room typing away on a laptop. The laptop the only source of illumination in the room, I look around some more.
This is not my room.
Navy blue cotton sheets surround me. This bed is bigger than mine. This is clearly a man’s room. No furniture. No closet. A chair in the corner of the room holds a stack of folded black clothes. Underneath is a pair of army-style boots.
Shit.
This is Nox’s room.
Opening my mouth to speak, all that comes out is, “Errr my gerrrd.” My attempt at begging the Lord for mercy makes me sound like a drunken sophomore.
My head snaps up when I hear Nox laugh through his nose. Still typing and not bothering to look up at me, he says, “Serves you right. You’re so dehydrated, you’re lucky you didn’t have a muscle meltdown. Boo was this close to putting you on a drip. I talked her out of it.” Finally looking up at me, he smirks and says way too loudly, “Welcome back to the land of the living.”
Each word he says pierces my eardrums and my stomach recoils. Cringing, I cover my eyes with a hand and mumble, “What happened?”
A chair scraping is followed by thudding footsteps over to the bed. Peeking through my fingers, I suddenly wish I’d never looked.
Nox is pissed.
With his jaw set, a vein in his temple pulses. And I know what’s coming. He almost yells, “What the hell did you think would happen, Lily? You haven’t eaten a damn thing in days! You’re underweight and dehydrated.” Looking down at the floor, he sighs and shakes his head before looking back at me. His eyes soften and he admits, “I fucked up. I know it. You know it. My team knows it.” Leaning closer to me, he goes on, “Don’t hold onto it. Let it go. You got pissed at me. We exchanged words. It’s over. Starting fresh. Right now.”
It all comes back.
The escape incident. The depression. The fight. The embarrassing fainting episode.
We don’t speak. I take a moment to search my captor. He looks haggard. Exhausted. Worn. Just plain tired.
Who can blame him? He’s been watching your sorry ass for three nights. When’s the last time he got some sleep?
When is the last time he got some sleep? I hadn’t thought about how my actions had affected him.
If only I could trust him.
“What if I can prove you can trust me? Would you do what you’re told?”
I hadn’t realized I’d spoken aloud. My cheeks flush, but hope blooms in the very center of me. Nodding quickly, my lips part and I mouth ‘yes’.
Nox nods, turns, and exits the room, leaving me to wonder if I’d just unknowingly made a deal with the devil.
Chapter Six
Trust is like a mirror
Lily
Left on my own, I look down at myself and squeak.
Oh, dear God! Where are my clothes?
All I’m dressed in is a pair of white cotton panties and a white, spaghetti strapped tank. I gasp when I spy my clothes at the side of the bed, including my bra.
I’m going to kill him!
Standing on unsteady legs, I stumble over to the bathroom and flick on the light.
Holy shit. Nox was right. My collarbone protrudes slightly. My is face drawn. Lifting my tank a little, my ribs stick out sickly and my throat tightens.
I’m naturally thin, tall and lanky. Now I just look ill.
A cough at the bathroom door jerks me out of my head and into the present. Nox stands there, eyes fixed on my ribs. My neck flames and I shove my tank down over my belly. Then I remember I’m fuming. How dare he remove my clothes! Opening my mouth, I start, “You bett
er have a good reason-”
My argument dies on my lips as he holds out a hand. A shiny black object sits in his palm.
Suddenly frozen, all I can do is openly stare at the cell phone. My head spins. Placing my shaking hands over my eyes, my chest heaves with heavy breaths. Bending at the waist over the bathroom sink, a large hand rubs my back gently.
Nox asks, “You okay?”
Unable to speak, I nod yes while my head screams no. He walks back out the door and I hear him say, “Sorry, Ciaran, she’s not feeling too well. She had a bad day. Maybe we’ll try again tomorrow.”
Ciaran? As in my dad, Ciaran?
Energy magically restored, I run out of the bathroom, almost sliding on the tiles. Coming up behind Nox, I snatch the phone out of his hand and place the cell to my ear. Voice shaking, I ask quietly, “Dad?”
“Delilah! Oh, my sweet girl. You’re okay?” His unsteady voice matches mine shake for shake.
That’s all it takes. My heart soars. Relief settles me. And the floodgates open. Tears stream down my face as I turn to Nox. Our eyes meet. Sobbing silently, I mouth ‘thank you.” And I mean it. I’d do anything he asked right now.
“I’m fine, really. Just a little woozy today.” I lie.
Dad sniffs, coughs, and steadies his voice. “Good. That’s good. Nox is the best at what he does and he’ll keep ye safe, darlin’. I-” He clears his throat. “I’m sorry, Delilah. So sorry. I never meant for ye to find out this way. I know I should’ve told ye. But it was hard for me. I’m your Da, meant to protect ye meself.”
Stomach coiling with tension, I push past it and tell my father, “Don’t do that. You did what you could and when you knew you couldn’t, you got help. That’s what a good father does. You’re a good father. The best.”
“You’ve been good then? No tricks?” I hear his smile through the phone.
“Ahh…” Is all I can muster and my dad bursts into laughter. Hearing him laugh makes me chuckle too.
Dad tuts, “Never could lie well, Lily girl.” He never calls me Lily.
An awkward moment of silence passes. I ask, “How’s mom? And Terah? Where are you guys?”
A voice behind me makes me jump. “Time’s up.” Spinning around, I feel myself begin to hyperventilate again. I beg, “Nox, please, just a few more minutes. Please.” I’m about to throw myself to my knees to show him just how much I need this.
Searching my face, he quickly checks his watch. “Two minutes. That’s all.”
Placing the phone back to my ear, my father says dejectedly, “Time’s up? Already?”
Talking quick as I can, I almost bark, “We have two minutes. Go, go, go!”
Dad chuckles but speaks quickly, “Mom is okay; ye know how she is. Always a glass half full with her. She misses ye terribly. And Terah…well, love, I don’t know where she is. She was taken when ye were. I know she’s safe, but that’s all. I don’t know where either of ye are, but I get daily updates from Nox and Mitch. And as long as ye’re both protected, I’ll deal with the lack of communication.”
My dad has a way of making you feel like there’s hope in the darkest of situations. I love him so much. I blurt out unexpectedly, “I love you so much, Dad. Tell Mom I love her, too.”
His voice catches, “Love ye more, girlie. I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
A presence approaches from behind and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Knowing my time is up, I choke on a sob, “So, this Nox dude is the real deal. You hired him and he’s meant to protect me?”
Dad replies firmly, “Whatever ye do, listen to Nox. He’s only got yer best interests at heart. I swear it.”
My head hangs, tears fall to the floor and I whisper, “I wanna come home, Daddy.”
Before he can answer, the phone is tugged out of my palm and I’m officially disconnected again. From my family. My life. From everything I love.
My brain tells me to appreciate the few minutes I spent talking with my father, but my heart is bitter and wins out. Anger seeps through me and I spin back to Nox. He meets me glare for glare. “Don’t even think about it, Lily.”
What?
“Not blind, babe. You’re about a second away from losing it, at me.”
“Damn right. You couldn’t even give us a few more minutes?”
Nox opens his mouth, but shuts it just as quick. His icy-blue eyes flash and his jaw steels as he bites his tongue. Without a word, he walks away from me, leaving me feeling twice as bitter and lonely as hell. He mutters under his breath, “Can’t fuckin’ win.”
I’m an immature selfish brat.
The anger dissipates and remorse fills me. As he reaches the door frame, I call out, “I’m sorry.”
His body jerks as he stops suddenly. He doesn’t turn to me. Just stays in the door frame allowing me to go on.
I confess quietly, “This is hard for me, Nox. You can’t possibly know how hard this is for me. Finding out someone wants to kill me for no reason at all. I-” Sitting on the bed, I breathe deeply and try again. “My life consists of two things right now. Being depressed and being paranoid. That’s it.” I bark a laugh, “What kind of life is that?”
With his back to me, he raises his strong arms and holds the top of the doorframe. And I almost gasp. The move has made him look like a fallen angel. The dark room graced with the bright silhouette of a solid male body. Beautifully dark and mysterious.
Strong. Safe. Secure.
Those are the words that flood my mind.
What the mothertruck?
My heart beats faster and a flush rises up my neck. I shouldn’t be thinking the things I’m thinking. Needing to break the spell, I utter, “So I’m pretty much freaking myself out with images of my impending death and I was hoping that you’d- I don’t know- you’d reassure me or some shit.”
Not hesitating for a second, Nox turns and strides over to the bed, right in front of me. I crane my head to look up into his face.
Sheer determination. “You are not going to die.”
I reply breathily, “What makes you so sure?”
His lip tilts at the corner as he says, “There’s a reason I’m cocky, princess.” Then he smiles. Not a smirk or a grin. A gleaming teeth, megawatt smile.
And it’s nice.
Slightly crooked, it softens his normally hard face. I could get used to this Nox.
He utters, “Don’t worry, you’ll live to annoy me at least another day.” I almost swoon when he winks. “I’m the best.”
And then he’s gone.
***
Nox
My body jolts as I wake.
Opening my eyes, I stretch in the rocking chair and something soft falls to the ground. My brows draw into a frown as I look to the floor.
A blanket?
Not just any blanket. The blanket from Lily’s bed.
My gaze shoots over to find her bed empty.
What the hell? Where is she? More importantly, how did she get out with me blocking the doorway?
Oh shit.
My blood runs cold as I shoot up and run down the hall. A million possibilities shoot through my brain but only one sticks.
Lily going AWOL.
Taking three steps at a time, I screech to a halt at the bottom of the stairs when I see Lily and Boo dancing in the kitchen as they cook. They sing along with the CD player.
“If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends!” This is Lily.
“Make it last forever, friendship never eeeennddss!” This is Boo.
They fuse together with, “If you wannabe my lover, you have got to give. Takin’ is too easy but that’s the way it is!” Boo takes her spatula and booms into it, “Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam!”
I’m stunned speechless. I don’t know whether to laugh or pull up a chair to catch the rest of the show. Lily looks…happy.
I don’t believe it.
Her cheeks are flushed a peachy pink as she sings, laughs, and dances around like a loon. Wearing a pair of almo
st too short shorts, a white tank, and sport socks, she looks like a college girl. Then I remember, she should be a college girl. She’s twenty-two years old. She’s at the point in her life where she should be acting irresponsibly, making stupid choices and being irrational.
A sharp pain pierces my chest. I quickly quash it. She’s going to have that life. And I’m going to get it back for her. Mark my words.
Lily yells into a wooden spoon, “Slam your body down and wind it all around!” Then she and Boo make circles by their sides with their hands, making them look like human choo-choo trains.
And I can’t stop it. Leaning my head back, I roar with laughter.
Lily yelps, placing a hand on her now heaving chest. Boo remains cool as a cucumber, still showing off her spaztastic dance moves. Boo turns to Lily and teases, “Don’t worry, Deedee. He’s just jealous he can’t move like we can.”
Lily scowls at me, “You didn’t have to sneak up on us. I almost had a heart attack.” Waving a hand in front of me, her eyes widen comically as sarcasm takes over. “Hello? Remember? Impending death and all that?”
Chuckling, I roll my eyes at her over dramatics. Suddenly remember this morning’s rude awakening, I crook my finger and her eyes widen. Her feet shuffle slowly towards me. Once she’s a few feet away, I bend at the waist until we’re almost nose to nose. I half whisper, “Where were you this morning?”
Her face softens. She whispers back, “You were tired. And it was my fault. I thought I’d let you sleep.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Our quiet conversation has drawn the attention of Boo, who stands over at the breakfast bar leaning towards us, straining to hear what she can. When she catches my glare, she makes a ‘pffft’ sound and goes back to cooking.
By the expression on Lily’s face, I can see she doesn’t get what the big deal is. I explain softly, “I’m responsible for you. Not Boo. Not Rock. Me. Me alone. I get that you weren’t far, but I need to know where you are. Every second of every day. I know you’re pissed-”