I wiggled my eyebrows. "Kinda kinky, don't ya thinky?"
He frowned. "What? I don't understand."
I smacked him on the arm to distract him from my totally inappropriate comment that was creating images in my head that did not need to be in there. "Never mind. I'm still lightheaded from all that laughing we did last night. Come on; Maggie's probably getting ready to head out and look for green things. I want to catch her while she's still at home."
We arrived at her doorstep a few minutes later. Tim buzzed nervously at my ear. "It's not too late to turn back. Go have a croissant or something. Blueberry muffin? Waffle? Slim Jim?"
"Ew. Who eats meat sticks for breakfast?"
"Ogres."
"Figures." I banged on the door three times.
"Who's there?" yelled a voice from inside.
"Too late," I said to Tim. Then I raised my voice. "Your favorite grandchild is here!"
The door opened and a tuft of fuzz greeted us. There was no face in sight.
"Maggie?"
"No!" the voice growled.
I'd recognize that growl anywhere. "Judith?"
"Wrong again! Go away. We're busy." She tried to slam the door, but I stopped her with a little Green power. I fixed the wood in place and made it impossible for her to move it. The door was rooted into the ground.
"Lie and double lie," I said. "You're Judith, and you're not too busy for me. Back up or I'll mow your bag of bones right over." I stepped forward. "I'm not playing; move it or lose it, sister."
Luckily, she took my threat for the truth and moved out of my way, saving me from having to trample a seriously senior citizen.
The smell that came to my nose as I stepped over the threshold was something else.
"Pee-yoo, it stinks like old people in here," Tim said, flying behind my head.
"Jayne, I don't like the feeling I'm getting," Scrum said.
"Don't tell me your ass is itching again," I said, taking in the scene just inside the door of Maggie's house. The kitchen was a disaster. Every one of her spell ingredient bottles was either empty or spilled out on a shelf, the table, or other surface. Some of them were rolling around on the floor. One of her rats was on its back on the shelf, its legs stiff and pointed at the ceiling—I was pretty sure he'd taken his last breath a couple days ago at least. The other one was cowering under the table, partway hidden under an overturned sauce pot because he was too fat to totally fit inside it. The door to the pantry was open and mimicker boxes were lying all over the floor. Not a single mimicker was in sight, though. They appeared to all be empty.
I glanced over at the living room, moving farther into the space. Two witchy-looking types were sitting on the chairs by the only small window in the place. They were clearly exhausted.
"Hello, Fates. How are you feeling today? Because honestly, you look like crap."
Tim grabbed onto my ear and whispered loudly into it. "Are you insane? Do not poke the bear, Jayne! I know a cranky witch when I see one, and there are three of them in here!"
"The pixie says I shouldn't mess with you, but I think it's only fair that someone speak the truth to you, seeing as how you're spending so much time on those protective spells for us." I looked toward the pantry again. They had better not be giving me more trouble with their witch-bitch magic, or heads were going to roll.
"It's about time you recognized our efforts on your behalf," Victoria said, rocking slowly in her chair.
I directed my comments to Maggie who was sitting in a wicker chair I'd never noticed in her house before. "I've been seeing a lot of crows lately, and I wanted to know if you can talk to them for me."
Victoria stopped rocking.
Maggie sat forward.
Judith shuffled over and grabbed my arm. "Crows, did you say?"
Maggie stood, rushing toward me way faster than I would have thought possible. She grabbed my other arm and the two hags started pulling and pushing me toward the door.
"You must go!" Maggie hissed.
"Why? What's going on?"
She stopped at the door, on the verge of literally tossing me out of her house. "Go home. Do not come out here again. The crows speaking to you are not a good sign. You must get to safety, and it is not safe here!" Her muddy brown eyes were glowing with a fever of some sort.
"Maggie, I'm not joking when I say you're kind of scaring me." Of all the times I'd been in her house, this was the only time I ever felt like my life was actually in danger. And it wasn't from her. It was from whatever was out there.
She pulled the door open, breaking through my Green power like it was nothing, and glanced down at the doorstep. She gasped and stumbled backward, her hand over her heart.
"What?" I asked, reaching for her as she kept going in reverse.
Judith let go of me and bent over, picking something up from the ground. Victoria ran to Maggie's side, so I looked back at Judith as she held an object up in front of her, turning it around and around, inspecting it from all angles.
I looked from Maggie to Judith and then over to their sister Victoria. "What in the hell is going on?!" I felt like I was going to have a heart attack with the stress that was rising up inside me.
"The crows have spoken," Judith said, her voice calm and collected. "Your time draws short. Leave here and do not return." She handed me the thing she had found on the doorstep and pushed me outside the house.
Scrum came running out after me and Tim flew in circles around my head. The door slammed shut and a bolt slid into place, locking us out.
I looked down at what Judith had given me. I was holding a large, shiny, blue-black crow feather.
"We need to get back to the compound now," said Scrum.
"You don't have to tell me twice," Tim said, flying out in front of us.
"Me neither," I said, pulling out my dragon fang and running back to the compound like my life depended on it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
WE DIDN'T MAKE it. We almost did, but almost doesn't count in situations like this, because this was not horseshoes or hand grenades.
Scrum grabbed me by the arm as we reached the small clearing before the gargoyle door to the compound and stopped me in my tracks. "Look," he said, pointing to the sky.
Dark clouds were rolling in, surrounding a huge flock of crows that were cawing like they were announcing the arrival of the Devil himself. Tim was way ahead of us, but he did a quick u-turn and came back, landing on my shoulder. "Are you guys feeling the vibrations that I'm feeling?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"I feel something," I said, under my breath, trying to get a bead on what was in the air.
"Put up a Green bubble," Scrum said, moving to stand in front of me, and then swiveling around to check behind me.
Bubble shun, a big Green one, surround us and be strong enough to block out the sun!
I was able to use my power, but when I tapped into the nearest ley line, I realized I wasn't the only one playing around with the elements.
"Guys…I think there's an elemental out there fucking around."
"Ya think?" Tim said, gesturing at the lighting zigzagging through the swirling clouds that were taking on the shape of a tornado funnel.
Wind whipped through the area, sending sticks and leaves against our bubble. They fell harmlessly to the ground, but they were building up, forming a kind of wall around us. At this rate, we'd be buried in a couple minutes.
The sound of banging came at the gargoyle door that I could barely see because of the stuff blowing through the air. "Jayne!" came a distant voice. "We can't get out! We're locked in!" It was Spike.
I was glad he wasn't able to join us, although I couldn't see what the problem was for him. I wasn't blocking the door and there was nothing lying in front of it, although any one of the big trees around us could come down in that wind and make it impossible for anyone to use that door ever again.
"Someone is out there controlling Wind and Earth," I said, my head swiveling in all directions, trying
to find evidence of this fae, whoever it was.
"Don't forget Fire," Tim said, pointing to smoke rising from behind some trees that were in front of us.
"We have Fire here too, Scrum," I said, showing him what Tim had seen.
"And water!" Scrum yelled, pointing to a literal wall of water that was advancing toward us.
"Holy shit on a stick," I said, mostly to myself. Somebody a hell of a lot more talented than I was at managing the elements was in the forest, and he or she was about to bring the pain. The only fae I could think of who could do that was Ben, but he was dead, and he only ever managed Fire and Wind. Whoever this was, had all four elements under his control.
"What should we do?" Tim asked, sounding more businesslike than before. "Run for the hills? Surrender? Let the body dust fly and see where it lands? I'm open to all suggestions. Even from you, gnome head."
I tapped Scrum on the shoulder. "Tim wants to know if you have any suggestions on how to handle this."
Scrum's attention didn't break from staring out into the forest that was getting darker by the second. "I don't have any ideas. My only focus is on keeping you safe. I will grab anyone who tries to get close, but you should try to use your elements to defend yourself too."
"Oh, believe me, I will. Whoever is doing this is going to be one sorry mofo when I'm done with him." I was picturing this mystery fae as a guy. Someone like Ben, but even more shitty than he used to be.
But when the walls of water and fire got closer, we could see that there were beings inside of them—two to be precise. One of them was definitely a guy, but the other one looked like a girl…or it was a Scottish fae who liked to wear kilts. Or maybe a really big gnome with long hair. I kept squinting, trying to see better.
"Come out and face your doom!" yelled the man…or I should say, the boy, because he couldn't have been any older than I was, judging by the sound of his voice.
"You have no other choice," yelled the girl. Yeah, she was definitely a girl, not a Scotsman or a gnome, and she sounded American, although maybe a little more formal than your average teen. "Come quietly and save your people. The only one we want is you."
"Is anyone else totally creeped out by the fact that she sounds exactly like you, Jayne?" Tim asked.
"She sounds like me? Are you nuts, Tim? Please." I didn't pick up on that at all. Her voice was kind of nasally. Super annoying, too.
Scrum turned to look at me. "No, he's right. I couldn't figure it out at first, but he's exactly right. She sounds like you. Like, exactly the same voice."
Is my voice nasally? I narrowed my eyes at the girl, trying to make my vision clearer. She was hiding in that waterfall, so it was like trying to see someone through a shower door. "Is it me in there, do you think? Like, a me from another, parallel universe?" Now that would have been something…another me coming here to kick my own ass. I would have laughed at the idea if I weren’t so worried that she'd win. She sure was good at managing Water. I was actually jealous of that hanging-out-in-a-waterfall thing she had going on. I would have drowned myself in five seconds if I'd tried that little trick.
A wave of her well-controlled element came flying out of the waterfall at us. With no warning at all, it hit the edge of my Green bubble and sprayed off in every direction. The bubble bounced, definitely not unaffected by the force, but it didn't give in.
"Holy mother fudger…" I put more thought energy into my connection to The Green, and I abandoned all ideas of busting rhymes as part of the process. "Keep it going, baby. Do not let that bubble weaken. Bring me more power." I pulled more energy to me using the ley line, and the green color of our protective coating deepened, but the water got bigger in volume too. It was hammering away at us, making me feel like we were hanging out under Niagara Falls. The sound was reaching deafening levels.
"How long can you hold them off?" Tim asked loudly.
"I have no idea how long I can hold them off," I said, repeating Tim's words so Scrum would know what he said. "But I'm worried that this chick is keeping me occupied so her little friend can go cause trouble in the compound. We have to do something."
"Can you take control of the water?" Scrum asked. He looked at me worriedly. "It's your element, right?"
"Well, I don't own it or anything—obviously, since she's got some sort of connection to it too—but I can communicate with it."
"Do it, Big J," Tim said. "Show that Jayne wannabe who she's messing with."
I touched the edge of my Green bubble with the palm of my hand, while at the same time communicating with the one element I always seemed to have trouble controlling. Water…hear me. Move away from the Earth element. Separate yourself.
The thundering noise we were hearing lessened a fraction as the water pulled back from the surface of our protection. It didn't really go anywhere, it just stopped hammering away at us so directly. We were still going to be washed away if I let the bubble disintegrate.
Just as I was thinking these thoughts to myself, I felt a glitch in the power. The bubble bounced awkwardly, like an invisible giant had suddenly decided to use it as a seat cushion.
"What's going on?" Scrum asked, looking above us. Some droplets of water were starting to seep through.
"Oh, no you did not," I said, frowning in concentration as I connected with The Green.
"What's happening?" Tim asked. "Talk to me, Goose."
"Someone thinks they're going to mess with my bubble, but that is not happening today. No, ma'am." Green, hear me…let no one touch our connection. Let no one come between us. We are one. We are strong. No one can sever my relationship with you.
The Green doesn't ever talk, but it shows me things, and on this day, it showed me something I was not at all prepared to see. My brain really couldn't comprehend it completely. But what it was able to understand was this: There were connections between me and the elements, yes, but it was so much more complicated than that.
I'd naïvely thought that alternate realities or parallel universes had just become a part of my world, when in fact, they had always been there. And not just one of them but an infinite number of them. In this world, I was Jayne. I was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. I was in love with Spike, and I was an elemental who commanded all the Elements.
But where these two beings were from—the one inside a waterfall and the other inside a fire wall—they were elementals too. They were strong and powerful, and they had been taught by the best of the best how to wield and control their elements. And the best of the best…was me. I had taught them everything they knew. These were my children standing in front of me who had time-slipped back to this day, to this moment, so that they could destroy me.
"Daaaaammmmn, talk about teenage angst." The connections that my elements had allowed me to understand hadn't told me the whole story, like why my kids would even want to kill me, but I was sure as hell going to get to the bottom of it…or die trying.
"What is it?" Tim asked. "Tell us."
"This is going to sound completely nuts," I said, hoping the shock wouldn't result in Tim sending his butt dust all over us. "You need to brace yourself."
"Is it that bad?" Scrum asked. Then he bopped himself upside the head with his own hand. "Duh. Of course it's that bad. We're about to die, aren't we?"
"Maybe not. But maybe yes." I pressed my hands together in prayer position in front of my chest, confident that I could keep us safe for at least another few minutes. These little shit kids of mine were powerful for sure, but The Green was my closest element, and I apparently hadn't taught them everything I knew about it, because the best they'd been able to do so far was just make it a little leaky.
"Okay, so here's the deal…those are my kids out there."
"Uhhhh, what?" Scrum tilted his head like a confused canine.
"But…they're in your belly," Tim said. "They're the size of ping pong balls maybe." He jabbed a finger toward our attackers. "Those critters out there are fully grown, misbehaving, Generation Z adolescents."
/> "Yes, my children are in my belly, that's true; but they're also out there." I sighed, placing my hand on the inside of the bubble. I really wanted to go out there and talk to them. "They've time-slipped back here to end me."
"To end you? Are you kidding me?" Tim was all up in arms. "Oh, hell no, they are not ending you. And these are your children?"
"Are you a really bad parent in the future?" Scrum asked.
"Scrum!" Like I needed him to point out the obvious.
He cringed. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't figure out why someone's kids would want to kill them, unless they were really mean or something."
"You know, this is what comes from not spanking kids." Tim was flying back and forth in front of me, his legs moving like he was pacing on the ground. "You let 'em get away with murder, and this is what happens—they actually want to commit murder." He stopped, his hands on his hips. "Jayne, you need to spank those kids when they're bad. Spank 'em! Spare the rod, spoil the child, that's what I always say!"
I laughed. "Okay, I'll spank them. Maybe. But how does that help me now?"
He looked around and then finally gave up trying to find an answer somewhere in our bubble. "I don't know. Regret sucks, that's all I can say right now. I'm officially verklempt and out of ideas."
"I haven't even been given the chance to regret anything," I said. "Just help me figure out how to convince them to put their powers away for a few minutes. Then maybe you could dust them or something. Cheer their angsty little asses up or whatever."
He held up a finger, looking temporarily hopeful. "I love that idea. But…wait. What if they try to fry me in midair? Or drown me? Or make a tree limb swat me into next week?"
"Well, you're just going to have to fly better, faster, and tougher than you've ever flown before. Do you think you can handle that?"
He nodded. "Heck yes, I can handle that. Please. I'm a pixie, or have you forgotten?" He punctuated the end of his sentence with a fart.
"No way could I ever forget that." I snorted out a laugh.
He glared at me, but said nothing.